Fresh from my post-examination brain, I bring thee a further slice of mild lunacy - yet another attempt to help boost the level of good old-fashioned silliness in this section. Consider this a spiritual sequal to my second piece, "Just For A Laugh". Go read it. It's mildly good.
All characters belong to...all together now...'SE-GAAAA!', let's make it set just after "Advance 1" and I don't want any Knuckles fans thinking I've got it in for the echidna by making him the victim of more mad situations. Far from it. I just find his tough-as-nails image excellent fodder for such tales. XD
Enjoy now!
"She Strokes Knux Soles By The Seashore"
by Professor Reginald Fortesque Vengeance (Esquire)
Amy couldn't think of a better way she could be spending her day off as she emerged from the water. Every major beach would be currently swamped with tourists in such perfect weather, but that's no problem to friends of Sonic. All you had to do hold onto each other tight and he'd zip you to the most secluded places on Mobius within minutes. The tiny beach he'd chosen was completely deserted, a pleasant change from Neo Green Hill's overcrowded shores, and the sun was just as bright here as anywhere else.
With a little thud, Amy's snorkel was thrown down on the rest of her things. Knuckles was lying down on his towel next to them, completely sheltered by a large parasol and unsuccessfully trying to get some shut-eye.
"You should really go in", the hedgehog said brightly as she dried herself off, "The water's just beautiful. It's so clean and warm and..."
She stopped to pick a strand of orange seaweed off her red swimsuit. "...vibrant", she added with a slightly grossed-out look.
Knuckles said nothing.
"Still, it's really nice here", Amy went on, kicking off her flippers. "Blazing sun, clear sky, sparkling ocean...it feels like we're the only four people on the whole planet, in a way..."
A moody grunt was her reply. It was the most she'd gotten from him at all so far today.
"Where's Sonic?" she sighed, in an attempt to change the subject, "Last time I checked, he was here with you."
"He went off exploring the rock pools to try and make the hermit crabs fight", Knuckles replied at last, "Real childish, if you ask me."
"Well, at least he knows how to have some fun!", Amy snapped suddenly. She'd had enough. Nobody insults Sonic in front of his number one fan. "All you're do is lie there and moan about everything! That's all you've done all day!"
"And why not?" the echidna grumbled, "I never wanted to come here anyway. You guys just dragged me along."
"You can't even pretend to be enjoying yourself!", she went on, "What's so bad about a little beach trip?"
Knuckles sat up at this. "What's so bad? Back on the Floating Island, I've got an enormous desert for a beach. Aside from the searing heat, there's huge quicksand pits, a gargantuan stone golem and a labyrinthine pyramid infested by evil spirits. Not to mention all the rogue Badniks still left wandering around. That's why I hate the beach!" and he lay back down.
"Besides", he added, "I hate getting sand in my fur."
"Well, this isn't the Floating Island, is it?" Amy smirked, "Now, come on. The beach is great if you just give it a chance."
"Exactly", Knuckles replied, "If I give it a chance. Just wake me up when it's time to get out of here, OK?" and he pulled his large umbrella so far down that it was barely touching his snout.
With an exasperated groan, Amy grabbed a few small items off her spot and left the echinda to his own surly devices. Muttering to herself about warped loners, she went to join Tails a short distance away. He was clad in blue shorts and sandles and was making some fine adjustments to his SandDeathEgg.
"He's just impossible!" Amy snarled, nodding back towards Knuckles, "It's like he's incapable of feeling pleasure or something!"
"Oh, just ignore him", the fox advised, "If he wants to be a grouch, then just let him. I asked if he wanted an ice cream from the cooler and he threatened to shut me in until I turned into a popsicle." Amy let slip a little snicker. "We can't really blame him for it too much, though", he continued, "It's not much fun having to guard a bunch of colourful rocks your whole life."
"I guess you're right", the hedgehog sighed, "I just wish he'd learn to relax a little more, take things a bit less seriously, y'know." It was then Tails noticed a couple of objects in her hand.
"What are those for?" he inquired. Amy squeaked and reveiled a group of feathers, blushing furiously.
"I've been collecting them around the beach", she explained and a dreamy smile came to her face, "I was going to give the prettiest one to Sonic before we go." Tails resisted the urge to retch and looked away.
"Well, at least we might get some quiet for a while", he said and gave her a nudge. Amy snapped out of her little fantasy and gazed round too. Knuckle's head could be seen lolling sideways through the small gap between his parasol and the sandy floor. It seemed he'd finally managed to nod off.
"I just can't believe he's wasting such a beautiful day like this", the hedgehog said and stood up confidently, "I don't care what it takes. I'm going to make him enjoy himself today, no matter what!"
"And how're you gonna do that without him blasting you into next week?" Tails asked. Amy twirled one of the feathers as she contemplated this.
Suddenly, she stopped. The answer seemed to come to both of them at once. They each stared at the feather. Then over to Knuckles, his large shoes the only thing sticking out from under the umbrella. Then back at each other.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Amy smirked.
"I'll get the shovels", Tails grinned.
Knuckles opened his eyes the tiniest fraction. He swore he had felt something poke his face a moment ago. Dismissing it when he didn't feel it again, he tried slipping back into his peaceful slumber. It was then that something suddenly grabbed his nose. Coughing and snorting, he woke with a start and the hand retracted, allowing him to breathe properly again. But as he quickly recovered, Knuckles suddenly realised his situation.
He was lying next to his towel and buried in the sand. Only his head and feet were still above the surface.
"Good afternoon, sleepyhead!" Amy said brightly. She and Tails were both standing over him, smiling broadly.
"What the heck are you doing?" the echinda snapped, "You little brats get me out of here now!"
"I don't see why we should", the hedgehog grinned, "After all, you wanted a nice lie-down and now, you've got it."
"Fine!" Knuckles growled, "If you won't let me out, I'll let myself out!" and he began violently trying to shake himself free.
To his embarrassment, nothing happened. His hands had been tied behind his back too, and it felt as though his ankles were bound as well. So much for the good ol' 'punch-your-way-out-of-danger' fallback.
"Finished?", Tails giggled, his namesakes swishing gleefully all the while.
"OK, kids, you've had your fun!", Knuckles snarled, "Now dig me out of here before I decide to feed you to the sharks!"
"Oh no you don't!" Amy tutted, wagging her finger at him, "You'll never get out if you keep up that attitude, mister. You've been a complete jerk all day and now, you're gonna enjoy yourself. Whether you like it or not."
"Ooo, what're you gonna do?" the echidna gasped mockingly, "Cram fun down my throat?"
"You'll see", Tails grinned and scuttled excitedly over to start untying the laces on his right shoe.
"Get away, pipsqueak!" his captor ordered, but the young cub threw the shoe to one side and peeled off the thick green sock beneath. Feeling increasingly infuriated, Knuckles looked up at Amy...and noticed her twirling a white seagull feather with a sinister smile.
"Oh, Knuxy", she sang innocently, "Are you tickwish?"
The echinda quickly tried to mask his expression of surprise. "You've joking, right?" he scoffed, "That's your big plan? Geez, guys, that's lame even for you. If you think that stupid little thing's gonna make me crack, you're even crazier than I think you are!" Of course, he was lying, and very badly. In all honesty, he wasn't sure of his ticklishness and he didn't particularly want to find out, especially under these circumstances.
"Is that so?" Amy inquired wickedly and as Tails sat at the sidelines with a bag of crisps, she sat down in front of her buried companion. Knuckles' red toes wriggled uncomfortably at the thought of what lay ahead.
"Aw, that's so sweet", she cooed and ran the feather up his bare sole.
It was worse than he'd imagined. A little squeak had escaped the echidna's mouth before he knew what was happening and immediately clenched it shut. He tried hard not to move too much, but it couldn't help squirming a little as the feather finished its painstaking stroke.
"See? Not such a lame idea after all", Amy grinned. Knuckles refused to reply. "More of the silent treatment, huh?" she went on, "Fine by me", and continued dragging the feather across his furry foot.
Knuckles didn't know what to do. He tried using his shoed foot to block Amy's way, but the hedgehog simply held it to one side and kept up her steady pace. Chuckles were building inside the echidna as he screwed up his bulging eyes. He could feel them trying to escape from his mouth, but there was no way he was going to let them. He'd never live it down if he did. And if Sonic found out...
"C'mon", Amy drawled, grinning as broadly as ever, "Let it all out. You know you wanna."
The feather swipes were getting even harder to cope with. A few beads of sweat ran down Knuckles' head as he tried desperately to resist the strokes. But nothing was relieving him of the horrific tingling sensation running up and down his sole. A barrage of laughter was now forcing its way out his mouth, resulting in the odd little snicker successfully fleeing his fixed smile. But he wouldn't give in. He'd coped with far worse situations before and he could cope with this. He knew he could.
"Coochie coochie coo-oo!"
Oh well. He tried.
"Pffffthehehehehehehahahahahaha!"
Finally reaching his threshold, the echidna had simply given up and burst into a fit of giggles as the hedgehog's feathery onslaught continued.
"Hehehehehehe! Okahay, I'm ticklish!" he tittered, manically trying to bat her hand away with his foot, "Nohow just get me outta here! Hehehehehe!"
"So soon?" Amy asked with mock disappointment, "Aw, but Tails hasn't even had a turn yet", and Knuckles could only look on in horror while the fox sprang over and began removing his other shoe.
"Don't you dare!" he yelped as sock number two was cast aside.
"This is for the popsicle threat", he grinned wickedly and started tracing his own feather over the freshly bared sole. If anything, the echinda's laughter seemed to double, with both kids now carrying out this unbearable assault.
"Hehehehehahahahahahaha! Noho! Dohohon't! Hahahahahaha!"
"I'm not sure he likes that too much", Amy teased, "Perhaps if I do this..." and she began swiping her feather across his toes.
"AAAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaha! Dohon't do that!"
"Lemee try!" Tails piped up eagerly and Knuckles could only wriggle and laugh as his fuzzy toes were savaged by their devilish instruments.
"HAHAHAHAhahahaha! Cut it out! Hahahahahaha! You'll pay for this! Hehehehe! You'll both pahahahaHAHAHAHEHE! STOP IT! HEHEHEHEhehahaha!"
Surprisinly, his demand was met. A few moments later, the feathers fell to the floor as Tails whispered something into Amy's ear. A sigh of relief could be heard between the echidna's giggles as he tried to shake off the lingering tingling in his feet.
"Hehehe! Alright!", he snickered, "You've had your fun! Now get mehe out before I kihill you!" But they weren't listening. He couldn't make out what was being said, but whatever it was, Amy was nodding along and clearly delighted.
"...um...guys?"
No reply. Instead, he saw Ms Rose sit down to one side, while Tails turned his back on Knuckles' feet. The fox tensed himself up and the echidna noticed his rear namesakes begin to twirl at an alarming rate, like a set of fluffy helicoptor blades. Then, he realised that the cub was backing towards him. It was obvious what was coming now.
"...oh no", he squeaked, but there was nothing he could do. The whirling tails finally hit his soles and launched the mighty guardian of the Floating Island into girlish hysterics.
"AAAAAAAA! NOHOHOHOHOHAHAHA! PLEAHEHEHEHE! THIHIS IS TORTURE! HAHAHAHAHAHA! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOHOHOHOHAHAHAHA!"
Knuckles hadn't laughed so hard in his entire life. His whole body was wriggling frantically as he tried to avoid the tails' horrible brushstrokes. So much so that as the cub's rear appendages attacked his toes, the howling echidna actually felt himself snapping his bonds with his mad thrashing. Without thinking twice, he leapt upward and burst forth from the sand cocoon with his mighty fists, creating a shower of golden granuals and leaving Amy and Tails very much stunned.
"Run!" the hedgehog cried, but they'd barely taken a single step when they felt Knuckles grabbing them by the scruff of their necks.
"Have a seat!", he snarled and threw both kids into the hole that previously held him. Slightly dazed, they tried to escape from the mini pit - only to find themselves engulfed in a yellow avalanche as the echidna began digging into the ground like a hyperactive dog.
Mere seconds later, the duo were trapped under an enormous sand mound, their heads and feet the only things still above ground level. In vain, they tried to break free, but their attempted getaway was halted when they saw Knuckles bearing over them, the feathers clutched in his hands.
"...um...hey", Amy smiled guiltily, a rather large sweatdrop trickling down her head, "...h-havin' fun?"
"That depends", the echidna scowled back, "If you define torturing and humiliating me as 'fun', then I'm positively having a ball."
"Come on, Knux", Tails grinned nervously, "It's hardly that bad. You must've enjoyed yourself a little bit."
"Wha - o-of course not!" he flustered, "Someone like me? Y-you've gotta be kidding!" But the little awkward smile on his face told them otherwise.
"See?" the fox said brightly, "You did! There's nothing wrong with admitting it, y'know."
"...well...m-maybe I did and maybe I didn't...", the echidna replied sheepishly, before a large grin spread across his face. "...but not as much as I'm about to have..." and he began removing the trapped fox's sandles.
"...uh...Knuckles..." he asked uneasily, "...w-what're you doin'?"
"I think I know", Amy squeaked and nodded to the feathers being twirled in his hands. She wished she had her flippers back on right about now.
"C'mon, Knux!" Tails snickered, futilely trying to wriggle free again, "This ain't fair! Let us go!"
"You'll get out soon enough, guys", he smirked wickedly. "After all, this is just a bit of fun", and immediately, he sent the duo into fits of laughter as he swiped the feathers across their bared soles.
"Hehehehehehahahaha! Knuckles, stohop!" the fox giggled, "Hahahahahaha! Wehe're sorry, OK? Hehehehehahaha!"
"EEEEEEEE!" Amy squealed, "No! NononohohohohahahaAAAAHAHAHAHA!"
Knuckles couldn't stop grinning to himself. Suddenly, the beach was a lot more fun than he remembered.
FIN.