Chapter Forty-Six

(Present Day)

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"I'm going to ask her to marry me Kitten. After graduation." James said, a bright grin on his face as he sat next to the lake with his sister.

"Looks like Sirius wins the bet."

"Bet? There was a bet going?" James asked, shaking his head.

Kit grinned, as her gaze turned outwards towards the lake. The late Spring sun was setting, and the water was glittering with orange and red from the suns reflection. It was peaceful, the wind calmly breezed through the budding trees, and off in the distance students could be heard yelling and laughing over a practice game of Quidditch.

"I'm happy for you." Kit said finally, pulling herself away from the enjoyment of the afternoons sights and sounds.

"I'm happy for me too. It's going to be great. Lily and I will be married, we'll have children. You'll be the perfect Aunt…and Remus the perfect Uncle."

A blush rose on Kit's face, as she gave a light punch to her brothers arm. "How can you be so sure about that?"

"Because I know what it's like to be in love…and I know the two of you are the real deal, just like Lily and I."

"Do you think things will be great? I mean…"

"Even Voldemort wouldn't spoil it."

"What if he Ki--"

"Death…it's just the next great adventure. I just hope I don't go anytime soon. But if I do…remember, you're my sister. Doesn't matter what anyone says. I'll always be there for you."

"Always?"

"Forever and Always. So will Lily, after all she will be your sister-in-law"

Kit grinned, and James wrapped his arm around her shoulders. The sun set, and Sirius yelled for them from the nearby Quidditch pitch. It was perfect…so perfect…

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"James?" She mumbled under her breath, shifting her four poster bed with a sigh as eyes opened with wakefulness. That day in the past had been so wonderful, classes had ended for the year and exams were almost over. Days were spent playing and watching Quidditch in their free time. Picnics were had near the lake. It was…the best time in her life. Before the summer that very literally changed her life forever, before she was forced into this time where nothing made sense.

Kit tried to get over it. She really did. She had a great relationship with Remus still (They were going to get married, James was right after all…), she was becoming friends with Harry…

But other then that, for Kit…this time wasn't…it wasn't somewhere she wanted to be. Sirius had spent twelve years in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit! Severus Snape was teaching and head of a house! James and Lily were DEAD!

They were dead.

They weren't coming back. Ever.

She could wish and hope and pray all she wanted too. She could comb through book after book searching for a way to get them back, searching for a way to get back to warn them of everything that was going to happen.

But they were DEAD!!!

They were dead.

Dead.

Gone.

She'd never see James play Quidditch again, zooming around on the broom showing off his skillful flying.

She'd never gossip with Lily and talk about the latest fashion trend.

Never get to do anything with them again. Never get to here them laugh…never get to watch them snog when they thought no one was looking. They were dead. Because of Peter. Because of that little rat they called a friend!

Kit told everyone she was over it. During her sessions with Dumbledore who filled her in on everything she missed and taught her the class she was missing, he asked several times…she always said she was okay with it. She told Remus that she had gotten over it. She told Harry she accepted it…

She was lying. How could she accept it? A few months ago she was writing letters back and forth to James and Lily who had recently moved into their new home (which she would live at with them during the holidays as she still went to Hogwarts) and within the span of only a few hours she had found out that they were dead.

Kit found out a long time ago that they were killed. And yet, she wasn't over it. The dreams still came, of Lucius at first…but then, more recently James and Lily…pieces of her past.

She shifted in her bed, stretching out on her back and blankly staring at the ceiling. Her burgundy blankets were tossed off and now laying next to her bed on the floor. Cool air rushed over her exposed legs and arms, goose-flesh rising, and yet she made no move to…well move.

Tears ran silently down her face, she hated dreaming. Kit halfway wanted to wander down to the Dungeons and bother Severus for a dreamless sleep potion…but then again he was a slimy git, her brothers mortal enemy, and she hated Severus with all of her heart. She'd rather get two hours of sleep, wake up utterly depressed, and rather numb; then have to go down and see Severus.

She already seen him for class, and that was enough Severus for her in a day.

"Stupid git." Kit muttered, rolling over onto her side and burying her head into her pillow. Her life was doomed to be one horrible mess after horrible mess. She could only imagine what will come next. She stretched her arm out and groped the nightstand next to her bed for her wand.

"Lumos." Was muttered once she found it, a nearby fourth year gave a snore and rolled over in her bed and Kit gave a sigh. It was so much better in the boys dorms, she would never have to worry about one of them waking up seeing as they slept like rocks.

Glance was given towards her watch. The time was nearing one AM. Nose twitched and she forced herself to sit up. Kit was utterly tired, but she knew the moment she fell back to sleep she'd fall into another memory. Scratching her head she kicked her legs over the side of the bed, and gave a sigh.

It really sucked being up so early…or late actually.

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Remus headed down towards the Great Hall, his morning was going fairly well. Fairly being the keyword. He had woke the previous night around one in the morning with a rather restless feeling and couldn't get back to sleep until he put a sleeping charm on himself.

He was fairly sure that it was because of the concern he was feeling for Kit. He had taken her to the Hospital Wing after she fainted. When he had returned to see if she was up, Kit was gone…and he was only left to wonder how she was feeling.

It was hard at school, he was a teacher, she was a female student. Talking to her every minute of the day, walking with her, inviting her for tea in his office…it just wasn't something that occurred. Therefore he just had to watch his Kitten from a distance and pray that she was okay.

Remus took a seat at the teachers table in the Great Hall. He was one of the first people in there per usual. He was also usually the last to leave. Hazel eyes strayed to the Gryffindor table to notice that Kit sat there, along with a few other early risers that seemed only to be there so that they could finish their homework.

His Kitten didn't look up to watch him as she normally did. Instead she was pushing food around on her plate and letting her head rest in her hand. Remus took a moment to sip from the goblet of chilled pumpkin juice in front of him. The last time he had seen Kit so closed down was right before…

No he couldn't think of that. She wouldn't do that again. She promised. She was probably in such a mood because of what happened the night before with the Boggart. Remus sighed and let his gaze drop from her to his plate. He had been stupid, he should have looked for the Boggart alone…

He only wanted to spend time with her. Now Remus could have laughed at that, how romantic…spend an afternoon looking for a creature that could turn into your greatest fear.

"Something bothering you Lupin?" Drew Remus from his thoughts, he didn't need to look up to know who was speaking to him. Only one person sneered at him like that, and that most definitely would be Severus Snape.

"No." Was all Remus said, causing Severus to snort in a bitter sort of way.

"Well, I'm sure this has nothing to do with why your friend Kit wandering the halls during the three AM hour last night…"

That definitely caused Remus to snap out of his stupor. "What?"

Upon looking at Severus, Remus could tell he was pleased with himself. Ah yes, typical Severus. He liked to surprise people with slightly bad or concerning news. "Detention for a week thanks to being out of bed wandering around the castle."

Remus sighed, that was really just what Kit needed right now. He could only imagine why she was wondering around so early, and only imagine what her reaction was to being told by Severus she had detention.

When he glanced back towards the Gryffindor table, he seen that it was more full then earlier, and his Kitten was gone from it. It only took Remus a moment to make up his mind, getting up from the teachers table, and tossing his napkin on his plate that was still full of food, he headed towards the exit of the Great Hall.

He needed to talk to her.

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Kit was almost halfway towards her first class when Remus caught up with her. It wasn't like she couldn't spare the time, there was over an hour left before she actually needed to be in her first class of the day. She jumped when Remus took her by the arm and dragged her into the nearest room.

"…Hi." Was the first thing out of her mouth when she seen it was him that pulled her into the dark and empty classroom.

"Are you avoiding me?" He asked, or rather begged her. Kit's eyes went wide and a brow was arched at his question…which now was obviously a rather stupid question due to her reaction.

"No. Why would you think that?"

"It's just that yesterday you left the Hospital Wing without saying anything…"

At that, Kit crushed herself against Remus' tall form. "I was just having one of those day's you know?" Came the muffled reply as she spoke into his robes.

"Does this one of those days require you to wander around the castle at night and get detention?" He asked, raising a brow upon hearing her sigh and nuzzle his chest with her head.

"It's not like I meant to get detention." Kit mumbled into his chest, still seemingly holding onto his robes for dear life. "Stupid git. I mean what was he doing wondering around the castle so early?"

"He's a professor Kitten. That's what he's supposed to do when he has watch duty. Which leads us to the next question…what had you up so early?"

Kit stepped back away from him, and Remus finally managed to get a really good look at his Kitten. Her orange hair was a mess, her skin while usually pale was rather white, and the dark circles under her eyes told him she hadn't slept much in the past few days. Remus shook his head. Why didn't he notice before? They hadn't been back from winter holiday's for that long. He just wasn't looking for something being wrong.

She had been fine during the holidays.

Then again, she was with him and only him. Now she was tossed in the gryffindor tower, alone at night with not many friends and no one to go to.

"I had a dream about James." She finally told him, taking a moment to clasp her hands behind her back. "It was nice…until I woke up."

"Why, what happened then?"

Kit's nose twitched, and her head moved from side to side before she answered him. "I was alone. I could only thi…think about…"

She stopped, and Remus knew exactly what she meant. Kit couldn't stop thinking about James and Lily being dead. He gave a sigh and moved to wrap his arms around Kit but she moved back, causing a look of confusion to flash across Remus' face.

"I just…everything here is different!" Kit started, and Remus knew that this was it. This was her falling apart. He had only seen it once before…he knew what was coming. He knew. After all, she had taken the news of being in the future rather…easily. She just cried…didn't talk about it at all. Then she let it stew for all those months…until now. "They're dead! It's not fair it's not. Why? Why do these things keep happening to me? Why is my life the one that screws up? I'm surprised you haven't bloody ran off in the other direction by now. I mean look at me! Look at me Remmy! I'm going fucking insane. Insane. I can't sleep at night. Screw trying to eat anymore. And you are the only one that seems to make it all go away. When I'm with you I for…forget about…"

Remus choose then to intervene, pulling her into his arms as she struggled to pull away. By now she was sobbing, and he didn't know what to do. All he could do was keep her in his arms as she went to her knees, followed by him going down to the floor on his knees as well. "Kitten…it's okay…"

"No…it's not. They're dead. You're a professor. Peter is a traitor. And Sirius is innocent of something he didn't do. This world is…I don't like it. I don't like it."

Remus opened his mouth to calm her, but instead found himself frowning. The first two things made sense. Yes, James and Lily were dead, and he was a professor at the school now. But…Peter a traitor…Sirius innocent?

What was she talking about?

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It was why she had broke down. It had to be, after all she had been keeping it secret from him since the first time Sirius had came into the castle. And now, Harry knew the story as well. Remus was the last to know…and he wasn't sure if he believed it or not.

It was only an hour ago when Kit had broke down and told him everything. The secret had been weighing on her shoulders. It was probably one of the reasons she was having such a hard time adjusting. After all, death was a natural life cycle…she knew that…knew that James and Lily would someday die. She was upset over that…but it didn't help to toss on everything else that had been piled onto her shoulders.

Now Remus sat at his desk in the DADA classroom, waiting for his next class to filter in. His hair was sticking up all over the place from the countless number of times that he ran his hand through the graying strands. Kit had left him right after explaining everything to him, with a last wish of "Please don't be mad…it was marauders honor."

He didn't know what to believe now. The story that Kit told him made sense. It made sense that Sirius and James would ask Peter to be the secret keeper instead of Sirius which was the utterly obvious choice. If Peter was offered enough power…he would go to the dark side…no question about it.

What was he left to believe now? For the past twelve years he believed that Sirius was guilty…how could he have…

Sirius wouldn't have betrayed James and Lily…now that there was an explanation for everything…now that he was told…

Remus buried his head into his hands. No wonder Kit thought she was going insane. Remus now knew of the 'secret' for only a few hours and he thought he was going to start to bash his head against his desk at any minute.

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All Kit wanted to do was bash her head against the table. Really, that's all she asked. Instead, her head that rested in the palm of her hand stayed put as her slightly bloodshot eyes crawled over each word in the book she was reading in the library.

She had been reading the same page for fifteen minutes. It was lunch and she really should have went to eat seeing as all she did that morning was push food around on her plate, but then she didn't feel like being around many people. The library during lunch was completely empty.

Or so she thought.

The sound was something she knew all to well. Crying. Someone was crying, causing her to jump out of thought with a blink of her eyes. She must have been thinking so hard about betraying marauders honor to Remus earlier, that she didn't even notice someone nearby.

Bushy hair, books piled to the heavens around her…Hermione Granger. At least that's what Kit thought her name was. Kit didn't speak to anyone other then Remus, Sirius, and Harry…so she was at least lucky if she got Hermione's name right.

Her crying reminded Kit of the way Lily had cried when she was stressed out from so much work. Closing her eyes and swallowing hard Kit stood and headed over towards the table Hermione sat at. The third year girl didn't even notice as Kit took a seat next to her.

"You remind me of Lily." Kit stated simply, causing Hermione to look up in haste and confusion. Hands wiping the tears away from her eyes as she looked at Kit with a rather vacant expression.

"What? Harry's mum?"

"Yes. Lily was rather brilliant, but seemed to keep herself under stress a lot."

"Oh."

Kit blinked, my she wasn't that good at trying to help people was she? Times like this, talking about the 'old days' made her feel old…even if technically she was only a year older then the bushy haired girl next to her. Then again, technically since Kit was born in 1963 she was thirty…so why not act her age right?

"What I mean is, while it's a good thing to have top grades, and take so many classes…it's also a very bad thing at the same time. I mean look at how stressed out you are…"

"It's not just…this" Hermione told Kit, waving her hand at the books in front of them. "Ron is being a complete prat just because he thinks Crookshanks ate Scabbers."

Kit clenched her jaw for a moment, she knew for a fact that Crookshanks didn't eat Scabbers…simply because as much as a duffer Peter was sometimes…he wasn't dumb enough to get himself eaten by a four legged feline. Instead of thinking about Peter and every dramatic that went with, Kit in turn went back to helping Hermione…or at least trying to. After all, she was her nephew's friend.

"Boys are always prats like that. They'll never admit that they are wrong, I mean even if you tell them one thing, they'll just assume the worse…no matter what evidence. I'm sure Ron is just upset about Pe--Scabbers being missing."

"Even so, that doesn't mean he has to take it out on me."

"No it doesn't. But you're the easy target in the situation. He doesn't mean to do it…but you have a cat, which is a natural enemy of rats. Therefore in his boy mind he has put two and two together and reached the obvious conclusion in his mind. Now, with conclusion in mind he isn't about to change his mind."

Hermione blinked, and glanced down at her books leaving Kit with the need to continue to speak.

"He doesn't mean to blame you Hermione. He just doesn't want to blame himself. Leaving us girls with the only conclusion…"

"Boys are prats." Hermione finished for Kit with a small smile on her face. Kit nodded, with a grin herself. Just like old times almost…which is exactly why she avoided making friends…because she didn't want to have new times. She wanted her 'old times' back. But what could it hurt to help out Hermione? After all, when Kit had started to see Remus, Lily helped her out.

It was only fitting for Kit to help Hermione. Even with a problem as small as being stressed out because of classes and a certain red-haired boy.

"How do you know so much about boys?" Hermione blushed slightly as she asked Kit the question. In turn causing for a small chuckle to come from the small girl.

"Let's just say, hanging out with James and his friends gave me an insight into the mind of a boy. If you keep hanging out with Harry and Ron, you'll start to understand them more and more too…"

It was the start of a friendship, that Kit wasn't sure she wanted…but at least, Hermione had stopped crying. That was what really mattered…right?

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"Now, make sure you cut the Pepper Root up evenly."

Severus was talking, on and on and on…but then again he did teach the stupid class. It happened to be her worst class. Not only because she could never add the ingredients on time, but because it happened to be taught by Severus.

Who was going on and on about who knew what. Kit needless to say wasn't paying attention as she sat in the back of the class-room next to a fellow Gryffindor fourth year whose name she didn't know. The darkness of the Dungeons made her want to shut her eyes, curl up and fall to sleep, but the smell that was being emitted from the cauldrons made it very hard to do so.

Which was probably a good thing. She already had a weeks worth of detention from Severus just because he caught her wandering the halls the previous night, she didn't need anymore. It wasn't her fault she couldn't sleep and got bored of gazing into the fire in the common room.

"Miss. Potter I asked you a question."

Kit jumped, startled at being addressed. Gaze going upwards to find the slimy git standing right in front of her. How long had he been trying to get her attention? Great, another thing to add to his list of 'Reasons To Hate Kit Potter'. "Ten points from Gryffindor for your lack of attention during class. Now please, answer…why is it important to cut the Pepper Root into even proportions?"

"Er…because you said to?"

Yeah, she was really going out on a limb with that one. But, yet again Potions was her worst subject in which she was barely passing. It didn't help that Severus always felt the need to pick on her. She knew the only reason he did it was that he could get away with it now. Before she was always surrounded by James, Remus, or Sirius…if he tried something then his pants were down to his ankles quicker then he could say 'lemon drop' and now he was getting back at her.

Just because he happened to hate her for being what she was.

"I can see that James had rubbed off on you after all…"

And that was Kit's snapping point. For the second time that day. The first time simply was because she had woken up far to early, and had been stewing about keeping such a big secret from Remus.

Now, she snapped because Severus dared to bring up James.

"Don't you dare."

"Telling a Professor what to do? Ten more points from Gryffindor. I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you." Severus responded, twisting his lips into a cruel grin.

Kit was on her feet in seconds, the chair she sat in tipping over to drop to the floor with a loud crack. "A professor? That's rich…I can't believe I have to call you that. The Headmaster must have been in a temporary state of insanity to hire someone like you."

Severus growled at her and crossed his arms over his chest, "Ten more points for insulting a professor. Now please, take a seat before I am forced to take farther action."

"No."

There was a collective gasp around the Gryffindor side of the classroom, yes she was most likely the only one to stand up to Severus. If she hadn't known him before he was a Professor she would have probably been terrified to stand up to him. But she knew what he was…who he was…

"No?"

"No. I will no longer be taught by you. A disgust to the human race really. You think you're better then me just because you happened to of got lucky and land a teaching position here? Just because you happened to get to be the age you should be? Don't you dare forget Severus that I am only three years younger then you. I am not one of these children. I will not let you tell me what to do. I will not let you talk about James as if he was some piece of rubbish. I don't care if the headmaster thinks you are 'reformed' I know exactly who you are. You watched them. You didn't do anything to help…you let them do what they would…you even laughed. You will never be a good man. No matter how much you try…you will never be half the man that James was."

With that, Kit left the Dungeons. Leaving Severus standing there rather dumbfounded and the students around him with horrified looks on their faces. Kit knew she would be the talk of the school by the end of the day…but she didn't care.

She knew that she shouldn't have blown up at Severus…but he had it coming.

She also knew that she had two more classes that afternoon…and that she should go, but instead of doing anything of the sort, Kit was already on her way towards the Gryffindor tower.

She needed time to think.

Great. Just bloody fantastic. Really, she had told Severus that she wasn't one of 'these children' but she was. She was still only fourteen years old. Yet, if she had aged properly she would have been thirty.

First she was thinking about James and Lily being dead. Then she was thinking about how she told Remus everything about Sirius and Peter. Now, she was starting to act like she was a damn thirty year old.

It really was bloody ridiculous.

Reaching the Gryffindor tower, she did the only thing she knew how to do. She went to the girls dorms, rummaged through her trunk, and took nearly thirty minutes of trying to transfigure a book into a sharp enough dagger.

It really was one of those days…

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AN: Okay, so Kit has been in the present for a few months now...and the novelty of everything is really starting to go away. Thus why Kit acted the way she did after the dream and during Snape's class. She's coming to an understanding that she isn't supposed to be a kid anymore, she is supposed to be just as adult as Remus, Sirius, and Severus.

Oh the drama.

On a side note this was the longest chapter yet, and I really hope you enjoyed it. I ended up crying while writing the first part (I'm such a friggin' sap)

Anyway, Remus knows now...so that should make looking for Peter that much more interesting.

I'm toying with the way I write things...can you tell?

Anyway, to make up for the angst and drama of this chapter the next one will be presented in fluff. Lots and lots of bloody friggin' fluff.

Toodles.