"Failure to love God with all one's heart, all one's mind, and all one's soul"
(Of Sloth, Dante in the Divine Comedy).
Chapter Four
- Acedia
There had been nothing to hunt, Anderson recalled, nothing to do for over a week before the night that changed his life. He had been lingering in his room, reading and praying for the first two days before he lost interest, growing sluggish. He had forgotten to finish his rosary prayers the night he fell asleep and was taken to that cell. He felt his years despite the experiments, he felt the killings behind him and the people he had buried, and Alexander Anderson hesitated, weary for a second, and was too late.
Now he was sleeping inside his body, he was not greedy; he sought not to be as powerful as Alucard had been. He was wrong and he wanted to show it but soon it did not matter. He was tired, nothing mattered. He would rather stay asleep for a while, resting in the cold dungeon below the Hellsing Mansion.
Awake, Judas Priest, Dracula's voice was demanding, granting him control over his own body once again. Anderson did not take it immediately, the compliance he had fallen into was certainly pleasant, nothing to worry about, nothing to suffer about. But he remembered who the vampire was and who he was; he would not be defeated so easily. Integral Hellsing's soul and many others depended on his victory.
"Where?" Anderson asked aloud, glancing at the rustic town near the sea. It barely had electric lights. So small. Where did you bring me? He wondered but Dracula did not answer. Anderson sniffed the air, the blood aroma was overwhelming – rotten blood. He looked at the ground, the grass as stained red and there were ashes along with ripped limbs – Midians. He put a hand on his lips and tasted the blood inside his mouth, coming down his throat. He spat it out, disgusted with himself.
What's the matter, Anderson? Can't you fulfil the role God has given to you correctly?
Anderson surveyed the battlefield one last time, ignoring the monster's hurtful words and his infernal laugh. He heard a thunderous noise in the sky, looking up he saw helicopters were coming his way. His eyes recognised the Hellsing small bat insignia and the heraldry on the metal surface. Quickly, he vanished from sight, returning to the Mansion before he was spotted.
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Integral was sitting on the couch, staring at the flames crackling in the fireplace. Her eyelids were half closed from the comfort of the heat inside in contrast with the frosty outdoors. She heard a timid knock on the door of her living room.
"Come in," she ordered lazily. By the sound of the boots on her marble floor, it did not take her much to guess it was a soldier.
"Sir, I came to deliver the report on the last mission in Wales, it seems that…"
"The enemy was found dead once again for unknown causes," Integral finished for him with a stretch on her arms. "Like the last four times. At this rate we will be considered obsolete, if we aren't already," she stated bitterly. "What about the investigation regarding William Bannerworth? How is progressing?"
"He's clean so far, Sir."
Integral disliked that response, "Print what you have and deliver it to my desk."
"Now, Sir?"
"Tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, it doesn't matter when. Apparently, I have a lot of spare time in my hands," Integral added, resettling herself to glance at her soldier. "Is there anything else you require, Lieutenant?"
"I was wondering if you have read the balance for this month?" the man cleared his throat, half taking a step back from his place. "We have all the full list of the items we need to replace to supply headquarters with the technology we had prior to the war."
Integral sighed deeply, lounging further on the couch. She stopped looking at her Lieutenant and focused on the untouched Christmas tree behind him, the wood was starting to rot and the green leaves were turning brown, the lights were turned off but she had ordered to her maids to leave it be. Beneath the pine lay the presents she had purchased for Anderson, Alucard and Seras Victoria. They were wrapped in sober blue paper with a velvet ribbon over them, and there was also a symbolic empty box next to Walter's photograph. Her heart gave a pang; she had never had the chance to mourn them until now.
"Sir?" the Lieutenant insisted to catch her attention. She glanced at him with disinterest.
"We cannot afford to buy those items, Lieutenant," Integral replied, musing over her funds and her priorities. "I have already invested money for the research in Romania. So far, your men's achievements are less than flattering. We should instead recover our aces before Her Majesty deems us unworthy."
Even if her words were reasonable, she simply did not care about her supplies. She stopped going along on missions after the second time her foes were found destroyed, it was a waste of her energies. Currently, the apathy burned deeply at the core of her former determination.
"Not even more silver bullets?" his voice rose, as if he was outraged.
"We still have plenty with all those failed missions," Integral waved her hand dismissively. "Unless you have anything else to add, you may go, Lieutenant." She turned to stare at the fire again. Free time allowed her to feel the weight of her losses, to brood about them.
"Oh, one more thing, Sir. Sir Bannerworth called; he wanted to know if you'll be joining the knights tomorrow at the Mass. He displayed an open concern about the state of your soul."
Integral flinched inwardly, that damned fop was going to pester about her religion as well as her money? "Tell him I am busy," she said. A necessary lie. "And that I am not feeling Christian enough to share his enjoyment."
"As you will, Sir Hellsing," the Lieutenant said before leaving. If he saluted or not, she frankly did not care. Her moments inside the Mansion became tasteless, grey and bland. If she would have bothered to turn, Integral would have realized that the door slammed on its own and no one came out from it, that her soldier had been engulfed in the shadows of a being that was both plotting her downfall and her salvation.