Title: The Moment When Every Thing Changes
Author: Nic Riley
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the show or the three songs I used, I never have and I never will.
Summary: Clay leaves Mac in McMurphy's and Harm picks up the pieces.
Spoilers: Set in Season 9 before Harm is fired from the CIA.
AN: I use three songs on this fic; the first is Learn to Fly by Shannon Noll (He was the runner up in Australian Idol 1), the second is Flying Without Wings by Westlife and the last is From This Moment by Shania Twain. I did not write any of these songs and I do not own them either. I wish I did they are great songs, but I don't so please don't sue me.
I am sorry to all those Webb fans for the way I portray him in this fic, I did like Webb to an extent, but for the sake of my story, he had to be somewhat…like I make him sound.
2005 hrs
McMurphy's Bar
Washington D.C.
Harm sat down at the bar beside his partner. "Hey ya stranger!"
"Hey!" Mac replied sounding somewhat distracted.
Harm then saw what it was that had her attention, a glass twenty centimeters in front of her. "Bad day?"
"Huh…what…ahh yeah I guess." Mac finally tore her attention away from the glass and looked at Harm.
"Want to talk about it?"
"Ahh…no!" Her returned to the glass.
"Okay!"
When you think the dream is over
Feel the world is on your shoulders
And you've lost the strength to carry on
Even though the walls may crumble
Remember never to surrender to the dark
They were both silent for a while as the band began its first set and Harm ordered a drink.
"I haven't had any…I just…"
"It's alright Mac…you don't have to…"
"No…I do…you walk in here…and see me with a drink…I…just don't want you to get the wrong idea."
"Look Mac…I'm not going to tell you what to do…it's up to you."
"It's not…it's not mine…well it is…but…I didn't want it…he knows that I don't…and he still…"
"Hey…slow down…who are you talking about." Harm turned to face her and placed a hand over hers.
"His pager…it went off…and he just kissed me on the cheek…said he'd call me later…and he left…left me sitting here…with this…and I can't…I can't drink it…and I can't leave it either…I'm stuck here."
"I take it Clay did this to you?"
"Yeah…Clay…Clayton Webb…his first priority is the CIA…his second…alcohol…then…then maybe me."
"Hey…I'm sure it's not like that…he cares about you Mac."
Coz if you turn another page
You will see that's not the way
The story has to end
If you need to find a way back
Feel you're on the wrong track
Give it time, learn to fly
Tomorrow is a new day
You will find your own way
You will be stronger with
Each day that you try
Then you learn to fly
"Look at me Harm! I've been sober…for six years…six years…but every time I'm with Clay…I feel like joining him for a drink…how…why would he…if he really…it would be so easy for me…to…to drink this…and…it used to make me feel better."
You're a better person now Mac…you're strong, you're intelligent and…there is much more in your life now…there is so much more to make you happy."
"Maybe there is Harm…but where is it…what I see is something that could take me away from all this…forget who I am…who I'm supposed to be, even if it's just for a while."
"Then don't…don't see it." Harm picked up the glass from between her hands and placed it as far as he could reach down the bar. Mac's followed it with her eyes.
In your head so many questions
The truth is your possession
The answer lies within your heart
You will see the doors are open
If you only dare to hope and
You will find the way to fight
The fears that keep you down
Her attention was only drawn from it when Harm hooked his finger under her chin and raised her face so their eyes met.
"You don't see it Mac because you don't want to, you have people all around you that care for you, but you can't see it or if you do you run from it. You can be happy Mac, if you really want to be happy…you can make it happen."
Mac pulled herself away from Harm and turned back to the bar. "How can I be happy Harm? The two things I want in life I haven't got and I can't have. I want a family Harm, it's what I've always wanted, but it's not going to happen. You said it once and I know now how true it is…every man I have ever loved…or who ever loved me is dead or wishes they were."
"That's not true…don't talk like that!" Harm's voice was quiet…he was somewhere between ashamed that he had ever said those things about her and shocked that she could ever feel that way.
"Why the hell not!" Mac's voice became more forceful as her anger rose.
"Because I'm not dead and I don't want to be, that's why!" Mac's face shot up so she was looking into his eyes. She knew what he had just admitted…but she needed to know if he truly was sincere…what she saw left her speechless.
Coz if you turn another page
You will see that's not the way
The story has to end
If you need to find a way back
Feel you're on the wrong track
Give it time, learn to fly
Tomorrow is a new day
You will find your own way
You will be stronger with
Each day that you try
Then you learn to fly
After a short silence she finally spoke, "Let's ah…go and sit down at a booth the others will be here soon."
"Others?"
"Yeah…Bud, Harriet, Sturgis, Jen and the Admiral."
"Oh…I…ah…might get going then." Harm got up to leave but Mac's hand on his arm stopped him.
"No…please stay! They'd really like to see you…and it is…the first time I've seen you in three months…please stay…please!"
Harm considered her for a moment. "I'll get us a drink, you go and find a table."
Mac stood up and raised herself onto the tips of her toes to kiss him on the cheek. "Thankyou!" At that she turned and went towards the back of the bar to find a booth. Harm watched her leave before turning back to the bar.
Looking at your situation
There's so much that you can do
Now's the time to make your stand
This is just an observation
In the end it's up to you
The futures in your hands
If you need to find a way back
Feel you're on the wrong track
Give it time
Then you'll learn to fly
"You know I could still leave and they'd never know I was here!" Harm whispered more to himself than to Mac.
"But you're not going to, I'll just have to tie you to the table." Mac replied with a grin. Harm was so glad that she had cheered up quite considerably in the ten or so minutes they had been sitting there, that he let her have fun.
"And how exactly do you plan on doing that Miss MacKenzie?"
"Hmm…" Mac thought "Like this!" And in one swift move Mac looped her left leg Harms right and put her left arm through his right, securing him to her side. Then she looked up at him, smiling defiantly she nodded her head, before picking up her drink with her free hand."
"Sly move, but do you plan on keeping this up all night?"
"Well only if I have to, but I've got something of yours that you really won't want to leave without."
"And what would that be?"
"Your wallet!" Mac said without looking up.
Harm felt his breast pocket where he kept his wallet, finding it empty he turned to see her holding it just out of his reach.
"What…how did you?"
"Wouldn't you like to know…" Mac grinned. "I shall be holding on to this until I am satisfied that you have fulfilled your duties for the night.
"My duties?"
"Yes…have fun with your friends."
"That's it?"
"Yep!"
"Well let the fun begin!" Harm said jovially as he saw Bud, Harriet and Sturgis walk into the bar.
"That's the spirit flyboy." Hr arm was no longer through his but her hand was now sitting on his knee under the table and his was on the back of the seat behind her.
Harriet spotted them first and despite her pregnancy was in front of them like a shot. "Harm…it's great to see you…Hi Mac!"
"It's good to see you to Harriet…Hi Bud how are you? How are the boys?"
"Missing their god father sir…sorry Harm…how have you been?"
"Not too bad…Hey Sturgis old buddy!" Harm stretched out his free hand to shake both of theirs.
"Old? Have you looked at yourself lately?"
"Hey…I'm not the one in denial. If I'm old then you aren't far behind." They all had a good laugh then as they sat down around the table.
Jen was the next to arrive closely followed by AJ. Soon the group was happily talking about their work, past and present, it was just as if Harm had never left.
2240 hrs
McMurphy's Bar
Washington D.C.
AJ had left close to an hour ago; Jen was on the dance floor with a friend, as was Sturgis. Bud and Harriet were deep in conversation and Mac's leg was still securely wrapped around his own. Leaning towards her he seized an opportunity he had been waiting for all night.
"Dance with me?" He whispered. Mac turned to him and smiled. It was the answer he had been hoping for. Shuffling out of the booth he held his hand out to her. And when she took it he waited for her to stand before leading her in to the middle of the dance floor.
"I love this song." Mac whispered as Harm wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her toward him. He took one of her hands as her other moved to his shoulder.
Ev'rybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in strange places
Places you never knew it could be
"I'm glad I stayed!" Harm whispered as his cheek rested near Mac's ear.
"Thank you for that…staying I mean."
"Hey it meant spending time with you!"
Some find it in the faces of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you find that special thing
Your flying without wings
Some find it sharing ev'ry morning
Some in their solitary lives
You find it in the works of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
"Not only me you spent time with everybody."
"But I'm dancing with you!" Harm spun her around and then moved his free arm around her waist again, and moved their joined hands to his chest.
You find it in the deepest friendships
The kind you cherish all your life
And, when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
So, impossible as it may seem
You've got to fight ever dream
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete
"I missed you so much." Harm whispered as he lowered his mouth to her ear. "If I could change the past I would, but I can't…so can we…"
"You aren't the one that should be apologizing Harm…I'm the one to blame for us growing apart…what I said in Paraguay…I didn't mean it…I didn't believe it…I'd had such a horrible few days…I wasn't thinking clearly…I have regretted those words everyday since…I'm sorry."
"We're both to blame…I should have fought you…I shouldn't have let you go so easily."
Well, for me, it's waking up beside you
To watch the sun rise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
At any given time or place
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And its like flying without wings
'Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings
Harm spun her around again and when he returned his hand to her waist, he pulled her closer to him. "You mean so much to me Mac, I want this to work…and if it means compromising with who's on top…we have to make it work. I know that you have to sort out what you have with Clay…I'll wait for you…I'm not going anywhere." As Harm pulled back slightly to look at her he saw the tears in her eyes. But she was smiling, so he was a little confused. "Hey…" Harm wiped the tears from her cheeks. "…don't cry!"
And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings
"I can't…" Mac slid her hand up to the back of his neck. "…you just said almost everything I have ever wanted to hear…"
"Almost everything?" Mac buried her face into the crook of his neck.
"You mean more to me than anyone else Harm…my life does begin and end with you."
Harm tightened his hold on her as a new song began. "I love you Sarah!" He whispered into her hair as he kissed the top of her head. Mac pulled back and looked up at him, what she saw in his eyes confirmed his words.
I do swear that I'll always be there.
I'd give anything and everything and I will always care.
Through weakness and strength, happiness
And sorrow, for better, or worse,
I will love you with every beat of my heart.
And as she rose up and placed a soft kiss on his lips she knew she would be happy for the rest of her life. "I love you Harm!" Harm wrapped both his arms around her waist and pulled her body against his as she again buried her face into his neck. It was at that moment that they both knew their lives would change forever.
From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on
From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for you love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on
I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on
You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you, I promise you this
From this moment on
The End