Southside Days!
To Dante Tigerwolf: Hey there, Dante! I've been reading "The Z Project" and I find it to be a very fascinating story. I know what the Z stands for, my man. Ah, it's a gimmick of my fics that when drunk on Scottish whisky, The Beast becomes this angry William Wallace-like Scottish freedom fighter. Well, I don't think Bobby's stupid. You should read my story "Black Ice", a side fic to todd fan's series of fics known as the Sidney Chronicles. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "The Z Project"!
To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! The crab did crush a clone, but the clone ain't dead. Think Bugs Bunny. Enjoy the new chapter!
To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Don't worry about the Jamie dupe. The little dupes are a lot more resilient than you think. You'll see. Enjoy the new chapter!
To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter, man! Again, the crab's point of view is good for laughs. Will the Jamie dupe be alright? Don't worry about it, man. Jamie's dupes are a lot tougher than you think (Jamie: I am invincible!). Typical Lisa. She's crazy, likes flame, and loves to have fun. Oh yeah, she's a fit for Pyro, alright. Duncan and Kelly aren't in Hawaii, they're back in Bayville right now. However, that doesn't save them from torture, although I am struggling for ways to torture Duncan and Kelly in "The Starr Chronicles". Enjoy the new chapter!
To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! X-Girl torture? I'll see if I can think of something. Enjoy the new chapter, my friend!
To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! I read the new chapters of "Little Shop of Mutants", and I loved them! Todd gets eaten, and Warren should walk up to the Cajun and throttle him. Well, McCoy is a Scottish name, so I would not be surprised if he unleashed his Scottish blood when drunk. It turned out to be a very popular idea. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", and "Little Shop of Mutants"!
To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, angry drunken Scotsmen are a lot of fun. So are giant crabs. I like the idea of being able to enter a giant crab's mind. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!
Disclaimer: "Me Superman! Me am hero!" - Bizzaro, Superman: The Animated Series
Chapter 8: Catch of the Day!
Hawaii
WHY WON'T SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE? NO ONE HERE SPEAKS ENGLISH! The crab screamed mentally.
"The crab crushed my dupe!" Jamie exclaimed to Danielle. "My poor dupe! It never stood a chance! What do I do?" The young New Mutant looked like he was about to cry. "The dupes are a part of me, Dani…literally."
"Actually, Jamie…" Danielle produced the crushed dupe, wearing a very puzzled look on her face. It looked like a life-size cardboard cutout of Jamie scrunched up on a window. In the place of eyes, the dupe had big black spinning spirals. "…I think this one may be fine."
"Wax on…wax off…wax on…wax off…wax on…wax off…" The crushed dupe mumbled dizzily. Jamie blinked.
"Wow. That's one tough dupe I put out." Jamie blinked.
"Wax on…wax off…wax on…wax off…wax on…wax off…" The crushed Jamie dupe continued to mumble.
"I think this dupe came from your love of Bugs Bunny, Jamie." Danielle blinked.
"Wax on…wax off…wax on…wax off…wax on…wax off…" The crushed Jamie dupe still mumbled dizzily. Jamie blinked.
"I guess so." The dupe-maker admitted. Jamie held up the dupe. "You okay, buddy?"
"Wax on…wax off…wax on…wax off…wax on…wax off…"
"I know how to fix this." Jamie chuckled. He took the clone and waved it like a towel, the action making a strange wobbly sound. After a few waves, a poof was heard, and the clone was back to normal. "Just like in the cartoons, Dani." He turned to the clone. "Now get back to work!" The clone saluted and ran back to help the other X-Men and Southside Misfits take down the giant crab harmlessly.
"Remind me to kill Kitty after this!" Bobby grumbled, throwing snowballs at the crab. "Don't hurt the crab!" He mocked.
"You ain't the only one!" Paige agreed. Her skin was in a steel form, and she was pitching snowballs as well.
YEOW THAT'S COLD! The crab screamed. Johnny B zipped up in the air towards Kid Superstar, who had sprouted golden eagle-like wings on his back that fired golden stars made of energy with each flap.
"What is it, Johnny B?" Jason asked. Johnny blinked.
"What's with the funky wings?"
"I dunno." Jason shrugged. "My X-Gene must be going through a Lord of the Rings-type phase. That's not important right now. Did you and Forge fix the Re-Bigulator?"
"Yup." Johnny B grinned, nodding his head. "I also got us a way to trap the crab. That's why I took so long." He pointed to the beach. On the coast stood what appeared to be a huge upturned wicker basket cut in half with an open space in the front of it.
"What is it?"
"It's a crab trap…specially designed for the oversized variety." Johnny B explained.
"…I sincerely hope that Forge didn't build it. We don't need it screwing up." Jason blinked.
"HEY!" Forge yelled from the ground. "I'M DOWN HERE, YOU KNOW! I CAN HEAR YOU! I GOT FEELINGS, YOU KNOW!"
"There, there Forge." Rogue patted his shoulder. "It's not your fault that your inventions always screw up." Forge gave Rogue a little smile. "It's because you keep forgetting to test them first." Forge grumbled as Rogue burst out laughing.
"Oh yeah, let's all make fun of Forge." Forge grumbled.
"Jean, watch it!" Jenni snapped as she ducked a truck thrown by TK. "Are you trying to hit the crab's leg?"
"Sorry. Didn't see you." Jean replied nonchalantly. She used her telekinetic powers to turn the truck around and sent it back at her.
"Hey!" Jenni ducked. "Watch it!" The truck hit a crane, sending its wrecking ball towards Jean. "Uh…Jean…"
"Look Starr, I'm not in the mood to hear you, okay? Now help me get this WAH!" Jean was knocked in the back by the wrecking ball, sending her flying. "SCOTT! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"I tried to warn her." Jenni blinked. "How weird is that?"
"I'll lure the crab in!" Dani said. Her eyes glowed as she used her powers to bring the crab's worst fear to life. A huge fat mustachioed chef appeared in front of the crab, carrying a big knife and two-pronged fork.
What the? The crab blinked.
"Haw haw, Ah'm makin' crab leg tonight! Ah guarantee!" The giant chef grinned in a Cajun accent.
"Oh, very funny!" Gambit pouted.
"Blame the crab, not Dani dude." Ray groaned.
OH DEAR SWEET GOD NO! NOT THE SEAFOOD CHEF! The giant crab screamed. WAHHHHHHHH! MOMMY! HELP ME! THE CHEF FROM MY NIGHTMARES IS AFTER ME! The crab screamed as it scuttled away. Dani used the nightmare chef to lure the crab into the trap. The crab raced into the trap, and Johnny B closed the door. The nightmare faded.
"Now, Johnny B!" Vicki yelled. Johnny B fired the Re-Bigulator at the trap. The trap shrunk down to its original size.
"Did it work?" Storm asked. Johnny B carefully lifted the trap. The crab was back at its normal size, albeit shaken up.
Mommy?
"YAYYYYYYYYY!" The mutants cheered. A shaking was heard.
Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes dealt with one problem, only to find another! What insanity will happen next? What's with the shaking? Can our heroes stop the source? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!