Disclaimer: Hellsing does not belong to me, though I would like it to. I only own one character called Nathan.

When Worlds Collide

Chapter Five: Decision

The cry of seabirds riding the wind competed with the roar of the surf, forming a natural melody of the sea. It was a dull slate grey today, one that mirrored the stormy sky above. The surface of the ocean was restless, constantly swelling and sinking to the rhythm of the tides. In a way it matched the mood of Integra, who was looking over its large expanse, numerous thoughts clashing in her head. She was leaning against the handrail of the jetty, cigar smoke coming out from between her lips in a stream that bent against the wind. Her hair whipped around her and a few stray strands tickled her face Dressed in her usual suit and cravat ensemble, she nevertheless cut a lonely figure against the gathering dusk.

Some distance away from the jetty, she had instructed Walter to park the car and wait. She had chosen this spot as it was sufficiently secluded, and where there were no curious onlookers. Nobody came to the beach here this late in the year. The weather was too cold. She shivered slightly but tolerated it. She needed to do this.

It was the only way.

She heard his footsteps as they rapped a steady beat upon the salt-encrusted wood. Turning, she straightened up and stared at him as he approached, his head slightly bent against the sea wind. Nathan was dressed in a large black overcoat and a scarf to protect against the cold. His hair moved in waves as the wind playfully toyed with it. He finally spotted her and his stride slowed slightly. Even so, he continued to walk towards her until they stood a short distance from each other.

He was appraising her, obviously startled by her sudden change in dressing. He whistled before stepping closer.

"I don't know what to say, Meredith. It's a rather strange thing to wear to a costume party, don't you think?" A steady smile was plastered on his face, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Nathan's smile held a childlike innocence, something that was the total opposite of Alucard's perpetual smirk.

Integra just stood there, not saying anything. Instead, she brought the cigar to her lips and inhaled it in front of his astonished face. Her eyes were cold, without any warmth of recognition in them. She blinked once as she exhaled.

"You smoke?" Nathan asked. Though he did not care to admit it, Integra's actions were bewildering. She was strange in the first place, but this was ridiculous. Was she suffering from some sort of post-traumatic disorder from last week? Since that night, he had tried to call her a few times, but she never answered. Then suddenly, just yesterday, she had arranged a meeting with him in a tone that left him unable to refuse. The air of authority he had a whiff of that night now surrounded her like an impenetrable wall between them.

"I have been doing so for a long time. And this is my usual attire when I'm working. Please do not mock it," she countered, ice in every word. She reached out and dropped the still lighted cigar into the sea. It floated on its surface, the glow at the end extinguished. Her hand returned to her side. Nathan noted that she was wearing white gloves.

"Do you remember what you saw that night?"

"Of course I do. I never forgot it. I mean, whatever you shot turned to dust, for God's sake. You made me promise not to tell anyone, and I didn't. Nobody will believe me anyway."

"It was a vampire," she said. It was in a tone that made them sound as common as the seagulls that flapped their wings high above their heads.

"I guessed as much. I've seen them in the movies, but never in real life. It was bloody scary but anyway it's over. What has this got to do with our little rendezvous?" His smile returned as he made to move towards her. He was stopped by another cold glare.

"It has everything to do with this. In short, I hunt them." She said this without hesitation. It was out now. The truth was all that mattered.

"What? You've got to be kidding…" He began to chuckle but the laughter died on his lips. She was serious. Nathan wondered if she was going mad, or he for that matter.

"My real name is Sir Integral Wingates Hellsing. I am a Knight and a member of the Round Table, a group of nobles responsible for the security of Britain. I am also leader of a secret Undead Eradication Unit that technically does not exist. Our mission is the defend humans against the ravages of the Undead." Integra stopped, gauging his reaction.

Disbelief crossed his fixtures, mixed with a good deal of confusion. He opened his mouth, and then closed it. Finally, he shrugged and then to her surprise, began to laugh. However, it was far from happy, and he shook his head at the same time.

"Oh, I get it. You women are all the same, you know that," he said in a sarcastic manner tinged with bitterness. "You waltz in on a guy, toy with his feelings, then conveniently make up some excuse to leave him. That's an original one, I guess." Nathan looked away from her and out towards the horizon. Finally, he shifted his eyes back. She was staring at him, her face still blank. Finally, she spoke.

"Whether you believe it or not, Nathan, that's the truth. I hate to do this but my duty to my country comes first. I am sorry,'' she said, her voice quiet. She was looking down, not wanting to stare at his face. Nathan remained silent. The air between them was charged with tension.

Finally, Integra moved, stepping around Nathan and breaking the uncomfortable silence. She did not want to look back. All she kept her mind on was putting one foot in front of the other as she walked away. She felt strangely numb, as if she wasn't in full control of herself. The wind lifted her hair from the front of her face, making it stream behind her like a comet's tail. Her glasses began to fog, the translucent white skin obscuring some of her vision. Reaching into her suit pocket, she pulled out her handphone and informed Walter that she was coming. Slipping the slim device back, she made a mental note to have the number changed.

Nathan watched the oddly dressed girl walk away, confused and angry at the same time. He was infuriated with her for making such an elaborate lie to cheat him. Secret Undead Eradication Unit indeed. The vampire could have been real, but he was sure that she had only managed to shoot it because its back was turned. It was a lucky shot.

Besides, she was way too young to run anything. He couldn't imagine a group of old fogeys sitting around a table listening to her speak. Hell, she'd probably claim that the Queen was in on it as well. On top of all that, the cross-dressing was downright ridiculous. Yet…

In a strange way, it seemed to make sense. After all, he had seen the way she had slain the creature. Completely without remorse. He also recalled the strange pride and dignity with which she carried herself. The woman was unflappable, and to some extent domineering as well.

Not knowing what to think, he watched as she turned left towards the car park, disappearing behind a line of trees. Nathan decided to see for himself what she was trying to hide. He jogged towards the front of the jetty, his feet coming into contact with solid land again. There was only one way out onto the main road, and he was standing in front of it.

To his surprise, a sleek black limousine turned out of the parking lot in a graceful arc. Its powerful engine growled in the quiet of the jetty and its surroundings. As the limousine cruised towards him, he could make out a shield on the car's front. It was a crest, similar to ones that he had glimpsed in History textbooks in the past.

The vehicle passed by him quickly in a streak of silver and black. Studying it intently, he managed to glimpse pale blond hair through one of its half-rolled windows. The rest of her was concealed behind its tinted façade, like a secret locked away from prying eyes.

He stared as the limousine slowed down at a bend. It turned quickly so that its length was now towards him. In a second, the driver speeded up, and the limo moved out of sight.

"Hellsing," he murmured to himself. He shook his head again, this time accepting what his gut feeling knew to be true.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Integra leaned back into the leather seat, closing her eyes, a strange heaviness in her heart. It had been one of the most difficult decisions she had ever made so far. To turn away a true friend, and perhaps someone more, was tearing at her soul. In that second she had revealed the truth about herself, she knew there was no turning back. She would never see him again, both for her Organization's safety as well as his. She didn't need him as another vampire victim. That night in the alleyway had only reaffirmed Alucard's reading of the young man. He had been terrified of the vampire, and she doubted that he would accept her line of work. He belonged in the world of the living, while she would forever haunt the realm of the Undead. The things she dealt with were too lethal for her to have an informal relationship with anyone. She mused.

I'll have to go someplace else on Saturday mornings now.

That sentence in her head was neutral, but her reaction to it was not. A wave of sadness swept through her. Integra let a small sigh escape her lips as the void she felt inside her grew. It was as if a door in her heart had shut forever, its bolt sliding home so that it would remain so. It would be like this, she knew, for now and many years to come.

Alone again.

But it's better that way. No one should have their lives endangered because of me.

She opened her eyes and stared moodily at nothing in particular. The interior was silent and dark, the only sounds being the whoosh of the air-conditioning and the low hum of the engines. She considered taking a short nap when her handphone rang again. Lazily searching through her pocket, she brought it slowly to her ear.

"Hellsing," she said in a slightly resigned manner.

"Sir Hellsing, the police commissioner's here to see you. I don't know why but he looks worried," a female voice answered. It was the maid that took over Walter's activities whenever he was out. She was a pleasant middle-aged woman, though prone to excitement. It was a blessing that she was always in bed when Alucard roamed the corridors of the mansion at night. The woman would probably have a heart attack the minute he grinned at her.

Integra felt the corners of her lips rise in a slight smile. It was probably something serious for him to come down himself. Perhaps another vampire had tried to take over a village again. Would they never learn? Being Undead didn't make them any smarter.

The familiar light of battle flared within the blue depths of her eyes. All depressing thoughts faded from her mind and were replaced by images of ghouls falling under her gun. She would join her men this time. It was much better than moping over someone she knew she could never meet again.

Besides, though she didn't care to admit it, slaying the Undead always gave her an adrenaline rush. She felt an intense satisfaction whenever her bullet hit its mark, turning the monsters into dust. They were responsible for making her live this way, this half-life she was leading, cut away from the rest of reality. In a way, Integra felt like she was getting payback. It was unhealthy, but it felt good. The smile on her face stretched further.

"Make him comfortable. I'll be right there," she replied, the fatigue in her voice all but gone like a wisp of cigar smoke. Sitting back after ending the call, she recalled for a moment Nathan's face. She wondered what he would think when she saw her in action. That moment in the alleyway had been nothing more than shooting practice for her.

She decided she needed reinforcements. Her instincts were always accurate.

"Alucard, report to my office. I have an assignment for you," she mentally called out. At least there was one person she could depend on, even if it was just to get the job done.

"Yes, Master," he replied, his deep voice ringing in her head.

THE END

Yeap, it's finally done. This was one of the more challenging fanfics to write. Keeping an 18 year-old Integra in character was really difficult.

I made her 18 cos I felt it represented a middle phase in her life. It's been 5 years since she freed Alucard, and 5 years from when we see her in the anime/manga at 23. She's not an Iron Maiden yet, though she's fast getting there. I actually got the inspiration for this fanfic from a fanart wallpaper I have of her in which she looks younger. It was from this amazing site called Solid & Etc, where I know most Hellsingers would have been by now. The story just evolved from there.

And maybe from listening to "Shine" 3 times in a row as well. You've gotta admit, it is a GREAT SONG!