So, here is the next chapter. I'm not feeling very chatty today, so I have nothing to comment on. I'm hoping my older brother will take me to the bookstore tomorrow after the award ceremony at school so that I can buy Please Kill Me.

oooooooo

The noise was deafening. In Star's Hollow, everything had been quiet. Noise pollution was unheard of, far out of the minds of innocent sleepers. Rory rolled over in bed, scowling at the green numbers: 3:28. Her room was pitch black; the building next door blocked any moonlight from her window. She didn't have a lamp, instead reaching for a disposable flashlight she had had the insight to deposit next to her bed. With it, she rummaged through her drawers, finally finding her headphones. After depositing the small music player into the pocket she had sewn onto her pajama bottoms, for this specific reason, she crept towards the kitchen.

Jess slept with his door open, another thing Rory found odd. Such a withdrawn person would want their privacy, would close their door before sleeping, but not Jess. She found the list on the counter. Rory had made a list of every issue, and pinned it to the wall in the kitchen. Gradually, without a word being exchanged, notes had been made on the paper. Jess would scrawl something next to one of Rory's concerns, and Rory would scrawl something next to that. A week later, the writing had stopped, and it was silently agreed that the scrawlings would be the manual to their apartment. Next to the word 'Books,' it was written, in accordance of both parties, that they would be shared.

It took her hours, well into the morning, but he still wasn't up; it was Saturday. She dragged box after box out of her room, carefully adding her books to Jess' already extensive collection. He didn't have a bookshelf, they were just stacked up on top of each other, hiding one half of a wall. When she had done, she put away her music and made more coffee. Already, she had drowned her sleepiness in nearly ten cups, and she new Jess would ostracize her upon finding her 'hidden' coffee stash nearly gone. Smirking to herself, she made the last pot anyway, poured herself a cup, and admired her work. The sun had been up for nearly two and a half hours, making it nearly ten, but still no Jess. She showered and dressed, expecting him to be awake by the time she was done, but he wasn't. Now suddenly depressed, she grabbed the only bowl she could find, which was too big for cereal, and made herself some breakfast.

Twenty minutes later, when Jess made an appearance, he noticed her there on the couch, dressed in a jean skirt and a wife-beater, eating lucky charms, with extra marshmallows, and watching Saturday morning cartoons.

"New clothes?" he asked, leaning his arms on the couch behind her head.

"I went shopping last night when you were gone. I hear it gets hot in New York."

"That it does," he agreed, scrambling over the back and sprawling next to her. "Cross your fingers and maybe the air conditioner wont break this summer." She looked at him, panicked. "Last year was the worst. It was off for a little over a month and a half." He picked a marshmallow out of her bowl. "So, I was thinking about this whole…living together thing," he went on lively, not noticing her moodiness, "you know how when you go swimming and the pool's cold." She sighed, flipping off the TV and fixated a glazed over expression at him. "Well you either jump in quickly or get in little by little. I always jumped in quickly."

"You go swimming?" she asked, pretending not to see his analogy.

"What's wrong?"

"I was intent on reenacting the opening scene to Big Daddy today," she replied snidely, scooping out a spoonful of cereal.

"When you jump in it gets warmer a whole lot faster than when you go in little by little," he sighed.

"Fine, whatever you want."

"Now you're the one who says that they're okay with everything and they never are," he observed.

"I said I'm fine with it," she snapped. "Just keep the majority of your clothes on."

"Because I normally go around in the buff?"

She pulled the list out of her pocket. "I already moved the books. I think we should shop together," she stated, averting her eyes back to him quickly for approval. "For food."

He snatched the list away. "Knock first," he read. "Get a job, write letter to grandma and grandpa." He looked to her for explanation.

"You're reading the wrong side," she whispered, calmer now. She gingerly grabbed his hands, making him turn it over. "That's just a to-do list…for me."

She got up and wandered into her room, which was sparse. All there was was a bed, with some mix-matched sheets, a few pictures, movies, music, and a few other things she had waited until the last minute to pack.

"So what are you doing now?" he asked, innocently following her.

She shrugged. "Explore I guess. I need some hang out spots; I like to have a few places. I should probably get a job; I'll need to buy food, pay rent."

"Need help?"

"Not really," she answered, stuffing a few things into her purse.

"Oh," he breathed, hiding the disappointment in his voice. He failed, because she caught the let down. She turned and stopped on her way out of the room, looking at him but not saying anything.

"We could hang out later…if you want."

"Sounds like a plan," he smirked, being far better at hiding excitement.

"I could bring home some food, or…I guess if you wanted, I mean, you could show me around later. You don't have to or anything," she finished quickly.

"Like my hang out spots?" he mocked.

"Later," she said, ignoring his last comment. "Oh," she pouted, whirling around again. "Key."

"Oh…I, uh," he dug in his pocket, came up empty and proceeded to lead Rory back to his room. "Uh," he said, opening up drawers, finally finding what he was looking for, "here. Make a copy."

"So you'll be here?"

"Guess so."

"Sorry…er, thanks," she cleared her throat, and, after scurrying to the door, she quickly escaped, letting the door close itself after her.

oooooooo

"Are you okay?" he asked from her doorway. He had been watching her for a while. She replied that she was, even though they both knew she wasn't. It had been a week, and Rory had yet to explain what she was doing. She knew it would have to happen soon; Jess was being too good to her not to tell him. "Are you ready?" She nodded. They were silent all the way to the restaurant that he took her to, but she slipped her hand into his, a detail he definitely noticed. It made him feel responsible and worthy. She didn't feel worthy; she felt like a small child, scared of the world and everyone in it. New York was too big, that's what she had always thought. New York was one of the biggest cities in the world, much, much bigger than Star's Hollow…home.

"Um…Jess," she began after the waiter took away their menus.

"Rory."

"Do you still want to know why I'm not at school or at home?"

"Do you want to tell me?"

"I sort of ran away," she admitted.

"You…y, you ran away?"

"I was going to move into my grandparent's pool house, because that's what we had agreed on. Well, actually, I might have actually guilted them into it…when I showed up crying there. Then there was my mom," she began to ramble, "standing there, outside the window, looking like I was the biggest mistake she ever made. I tried to smile, but I felt bad. I did, because I was supposed to be the savior of the family. My mom was going to be proud of me, and she was going to say 'Sure, I got pregnant when I was sixteen, but I got Rory. And wow, what a great person she is.' I was going to be a journalist," she finished.

"But why did you leave Yale?" he dared.

"Oh yeah," she whispered, almost laughing at herself, "I left that detail out. It started out with Logan…." She trailed off before looking back at me. "He was my boyfriend but he's gone now. Gone," she emphasized. "No more Logan, not for me; no. See, I'm not good enough for Logan's parents, so his dad offered me an internship at his newspaper. Mitchell Huntzberger, maybe you've heard of him. Apparently I could never make it as a journalist. I would suck. So, naturally, after hearing that all my preparation has been a big waste of time. Yeah," she nodded, "all that time I wasted in highschool. I didn't have to study, I could have been off doing God knows what with you, and we could have had sex at that party, because there was nothing to lose. I wanted to, did you know that? I had told my mom weeks before that I was ready, that I was thinking about 'it.' What was holding me back, what made me stop you was that I couldn't screw up or get pregnant. I had to go to Yale, and make everything good. You cant pregnant if you don't have sex. So I stole a boat."

"You stole a boat?" he questioned, momentarily ignoring the sex tirade.

"And I got arrested. Yeah, I spent time in Jail. Don't tell Taylor. I spaced out through an entire exam, and I just decided. I'm not for Yale; Yale isn't for me. I couldn't be Logan's girlfriend anymore, because I needed new things…new start. I thought I would move back with my mom, but that talk didn't go well. So, I went to my grandparents. I was going to live in their pool house."

"So why are you here?"

"After my mom left- she didn't even talk to me or anything, just stood their with that look on her face- I crumpled. I just left. I stuffed a few changes of clothes in my backpack and made sure I had money and my ATM and I left. I had to take a bus because I hadn't gotten my car back yet. Then I went and bought something to drink…but you know that. It tasted so gross, but I just kept drinking it and drinking it. Then I remembered my mom telling me that Luke had told her that you were living in New York, and I remembered you."

"Me?" he smirked.

"Do you know why you?" she asked. He shook his head. "You were the only one not expecting me to be perfect. It probably would have suited you a lot better if I hadn't been. You probably didn't want to make all those mistakes, I know I didn't. I didn't think I could let you down. Did I?"

"No," he shook his head, as they left the restaurant. Rory's explanation had lasted an hour or so, and the meal had been small. This time Jess took her hand, leading her towards the subway.

"Sorry I screwed everything up like that," she offered.

"No problem. We'll fix it." He continued to smirk as they got on the subway.

"What?"

"You wanted to have sex with me."

"Did I say that out loud?" she asked, embarrassedly, watching her shoes. She knew she did.

"Yeah." Silence.

"Know what?" she ventured.

"Huh?"

"I probably would have too… if it had been somewhere else, and Lane's band wasn't about to go on. But if we had been at my house, and my mom was out of town, or something like that, I…I probably would have." The whole time, she had been matching him, eye for eye, but now she looked down at her lap. He turned to look at her, making her feel severely self conscious. "Please stop looking at me," she sighed, leaning her forehead against the glass of the window.

sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in this fucking place.

what better way to put myself in my place?

she said: broken hearts are easy to hide.

broken hearts are easy to ignore.

see, when you break your heart, nothing really breaks.

look at me, and look at you:

18, and dead - at 16 you were almost dead.

just sleep with me in my bed,

and don't say those things you said.

oooooooo

An: These stupid conclusions are getting harder and harder to write. But yes, school is officially out. I would tell you what grade I'm going to be in, but I'm kind of young, so you might judge me. I'm excited though. I went to Star Wars last night (my stupid parents wouldn't let me go until after exams. Dumb dumbs) and I was raving to my friends the whole time about this new development.