Animal Crossing: Unexplained Mysteries

And now your host...

Mr. Kandy: Wait! Hold it! I'm not the host, I'm just filling in for him today.

Bobby: Mr. Kandy? It's... you?

Mr. Kandy: Well, yes.

Bobby: How did you manage to escape THIS time?

Mr. Kandy: Well, you see, I managed to escape after you, uh, pulled the hatch.

Bobby: Oh, cool. So like, you just ended up here?

Mr. Kandy: Yes. Now can we get on with the show?

Bobby: Yeah, I'm still rolling.

Mr. Kandy: OK, you see, KK wasn't feeling very good. So I decided to fill in for him. Today, we're going to have two very special guests having a debate on Creation versus Evolution in the Animal Crossing world! It's... Timmy and Tommy!

Timmy: Hey there!

Tommy: Hello everyone!

Mr. Kandy: Now first let's have you two introduce yourselves. Timmy?

Timmy: I'm Tom Nook's son and I work at his store.

Mr. Kandy: Tommy, what about you?

Tommy: Uh... same thing.

Mr. Kandy: OK. Timmy, what are your interests?

Timmy: Fighting with my brother and watching TV.

Mr. Kandy: And Tommy?

Tommy: Same thing.

Mr. Kandy: OK, well, Timmy, what's your age?

Timmy: I'm five years old.

Mr. Kandy: That's great! So let's get started!

Tommy: But you didn't ask my age!

Mr. Kandy: Well, what's your age?

Tommy: Uh... same thing as Timmy.

Mr. Kandy: (Sputtering) But... but... fine then. Have it your way.

Tommy: Thank you.

Mr. Kandy: You're... welcome. Now, can we get started, or do we have another pointless point to make?

Tommy: I'm fine.

Timmy: Can I use the bathroom?

Mr. Kandy: (Sighing) Find a tree. (Whispering to the camera) This is more like babysitting than hosting a debate. Maybe that's why KK didn't show up.

Timmy waddles off, but turns around before he reaches a tree.

Mr. Kandy: Didn't you have to go to the bathroom?

Timmy: (clearly embarrassed) Uh... not anymore.

Mr. Kandy: (Sighing once more) Oh my. Shall we get started?

Tommy: Wait. I'm hungry.

Mr. Kandy: Shake some fruit off a tree.

Tommy: But-

Mr. Kandy: FINE! You don't want fruit, DON'T GET ANY!

Tommy starts crying, which makes Timmy bang his fists against Mr. Kandy.

Timmy: You're a BAD MAN! You're a BAD MAN! You're a MEAN, CRUEL MAN!

Bobby: This would be a good time to cut the camera.

Later...

Mr. Kandy: OK. Timmy and Tommy are settled... finally. Now, our discussion begins. Timmy, you are arguing against Evolution, Tommy, you are arguing against Creation. When either of you wants to comment on the other person's argument, raise your hand. Timmy, you may begin.

Timmy: OK so, Evolutionists basically say that this world – the Animal Crossing world – came to be because of a huge explosion in the Gamecube. A disk was formed, and all the graphics, the people, animals, dialogue, was all just – BAM – there. Now of course all of the evidence proves this wrong. SOMEONE had to make all this. I mean, how could this all just – BANG – appear all around us? Many different things would have to happen purely by chance.

One – The graphics

Two – The animals and characters

Three – The controls

Four – The dialogue

Five – Many other things like being able to travel to other towns and make your own design

All of these things happened by PURE CHANCE? I don't think so.

Tommy raises his hand.

Mr. Kandy: Tommy, you can speak for ten seconds.

Tommy: What you're saying is just ridiculing Evolution. Why don't you talk about your own belief? And anyway, those things could have easily happened by pure chance – the Gamecube has something called Memory, doesn't it? Well the memory in the Gamecube could have created the game.

Mr. Kandy: Tommy, your time is up. Timmy?

Timmy: I'm sorry, Tommy, but your argument is just absurd, and I'm sure you must be ashamed of yourself for coming up with such a stupid explanation. One, the Gamecube does not have memory in itself. It needs a memory card. Plus, the memory card is not a computer. It just holds saved data. There is no possible way for it even to make a game, nonetheless make a disk physically out of scratch.

Now, about Creation. I believe that a bunch of people got together and created a game for the Gamecube. It makes a whole lot more sense, doesn't it? Hmm? They have the equipment, the knowledge, the power. I rest my case.

Mr. Kandy: All right. Tommy, what do you have to say to defend yourself?

Tommy: Um, actually, I think that Timmy's right. There's not much I can say against something that I believe in.

Mr. Kandy: Wow, so the evidence was so strong that you just completely turned around?

Tommy: Yeah. Wow – I never realized all that stuff had to happen to create a game.

Mr. Kandy: Yeah, pretty amazing, huh? Well folks, this dramatic series of events unfolds before our very eyes. That's the end of this short episode, bu stay tuned for more Animal Crossing: Unexplained Mysteries!