Bum….Bum…Bum….

Insert eerie noises here

OOOOoooohhhhh………..

Animal Crossing: Unexplained Mysteries…

Bum…Bum…Bum…

Insert more eerie noises here

And now, your host… KK Slider!

KK: Thank you, thank you very much. Yes folks, after a long break, Animal Crossing: Unexplained Mysteries is back in action for a second season! Even though we only had three episodes last season, which doesn't make much sense… actually, it doesn't make any sense!

Producer: Shut up, KK, or you're out of a job.

KK: Right, sir. It makes so much sense to me now.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, nothing interesting happens!

KK: Oh my GOSH! Can you believe it?

Suddenly, out of nowhere, another burst of rapid nothing happens!

KK: Augh! I can't stand it!

Producer: Second warning, KK. Stick with the script.

KK: Sure, whatever. This episode we're going to go out when it gets dark, and find Wisp, the ghost. The legend has it that he makes strange noises – it's sure to be spooky! So I'll be signing off for a while, and after this long break, we'll go out and find Wisp! For now, however, you'll watch Jack's Adventures. It's a great award-winning film by Steve Spellburg. Roll tape!

TAPE ROLLING

FADE IN TO A HUGE TITLE:

Jack's Adventures

(Credits follow)

Jack: I'm a pumpkin head. Everyone hates me. No one likes me. They call me Pumpkin Head, Pumpkin face. On Halloween everyone dresses up like me and makes fun of me. It's not FAIR! And all I want is candy. Plus, I had to go through so much pain as a child!

(Show flashback)

Jack: No! No! Please no! I don't have a face, but maybe you could just use markers… don't come near me with that knife, sir! No! NOOOO!

Screams are heard as the doctor takes young Jack into a room. When he comes out, holes are cut into his face to make a jack-o-lantern. He has a toothy grin.

(Cut back from flashback)

Jack: Ever since that day I've been miserable. I'm a pumpkin head. Everyone hates me. No one likes me. They call me Pumpkin Head, Pumpkin face. On Halloween everyone dresses up like me and makes fun of me. It's not FAIR! And all I want is candy.

Aguy: Yeah yeah, you've said that already.

Jack: Who are you?

Aguy: I'm a guy.

Jack: What's your name, though?

Aguy: I told you… I'm a guy!

Jack: Wait wait wait… is your name "A Guy?"

Aguy: Yes. One word. Aguy.

Jack: That's the dumbest name ever! Hahahaha!

Aguy: (Cries) You're a mean pumpkin head!

Jack: Well… you're a guy! Hahahaha!

Aperson: Jack, I've been watching you. You don't like it when people hurt your feelings, so why do you make fun of others?

Jack: I don't know…um…who are you?

Aperson: I'm a person.

Jack: Yeah, but what's your name…oh. I get it. Nevermind.

Aperson: Mmhmm….

Jack: Well, thanks for the advice. I guess I'll just have to be nice to everyone from now on. Thanks for the great moral lesson, guys!

Aguy: Is that a joke?

SWORDED!

Aguy: AAhhh! My eye!

Jack: Well, that's a bit violent, don't you think?

KNIFED!

Jack: Augh! My pumpkiny pumpkinness!

Aperson: I hope nothing happens to me.

POTATOED!

Aperson: Make it stop! Make it stop!

TAPE END

KK: OK, well, we're here in the woods, looking for Wisp. He should be around here somewhere…

Bobby: (The cameraman) KK, something touched me.

KK: Bobby… it's just me and you. What are you talking about?

Bobby: It's… Ahh! It's all over me! Help! Help!

The camera falls down. You do not see anything, only hear things.

Wisp: Who dares disturb me!

KK: Please! We didn't mean it!

Wisp: Oh, good. I was hoping that would be the case. I mean… Oh yeah? Well not that you have disturbed me, you must find me five spirits, or I will kill you!

KK: What! That's not what usually happens!

Wisp: Well… It's happening now! Bwa-hahahaha!

KK: Run for your life, Bobby!

Bobby picks up the camera and films Wisp, who just stands there as they run away.

Suddenly, five spirits appear in front of KK and Bobby. The two frightened animals stop dead in their tracks.

KK: Wh…what do you… www…wa…..want?

Spirits: You must die!

KK: Wait… I can't die! I have a show to do!

Bobby: And I have to film it!

Spirits: Whatever. But now, your show will be cursed!

KK: Like it wasn't cursed already.

Bobby: No kidding.

WHOOSH!

KK: The spirits are gone!

Bobby: No kidding.

KK: We should get back to the studio.

Bobby: No kidding.

KK: Shut up.

Bobby: Fine. But this time, no one can know how do tie knots!

KK: I told you to shut up.

Bobby: I agree with cheese.

KK: Shut UP!

Bobby: (says nothing)

KK: Thank you. That's it for this episode, folks!