Bum….Bum…Bum….
Insert eerie noises here
OOOOoooohhhhh………..
Animal Crossing: Unexplained Mysteries…
Bum…Bum…Bum…
Insert more eerie noises here
And now, your host… KK Slider!
It is dark out. We see a dark shadow emerge from, well, the shadows. It is…. (what a surprise) KK Slider!
KK: Thank you, thank you very much, everyone. It's a pleasure to be here today. In fact, it's so much of a pleasure considering that I'm still alive! I mean, well… you know what I mean. Chased by ghosts, endless tunnels, singing pigs… you get the idea.
KK starts walking toward the dump. The camera follows him as he continues to talk.
KK: Anyway, today we're going to be investigating the dump. As you can see, it's the spookiest part in town at night because there are no street lights, lamps, nothing. Pitch black. Legend has it that whoever goes in that dump will die. We don't know how, but we want to test this theory. Contestants, come forward!
Suddenly, three shadows emerge from, well, the shadows, of course. When they come closer, we can distinguish who they are: Bill, the duck, Butch, the dog, and Jeremiah, the frog.
KK: All right, you guys, you know the rules. The first one to go in there and come out alive wins a million dollars. Why don't you introduce yourselves, and tell us why you think you'll win?
Bill: Well, I'm Bill. I'm an athlete, so I'm physically in shape. Anything that comes my way, whether it be snakes or sinking sand or a large bear, I can beat it down the ground.
Butch: I'm Butch. I'm a boy. Just because I'm wearing a dress doesn't mean I'm a girl. Don't make fun of me! If you do, I'll have to kill you three hundred million times. Plus five.
KK: Butch, someone can only be killed once.
Butch: Stop making fun of me! I'm LEAVING!
Butch storms off, angry and frustrated.
Jeremiah: I'm Jeremiah. I think I'll win because I'm a frog. Frogs are good luck. Heh.
KK: Right…. OK, now that we just have two contestants, the stakes are higher. The boundaries have been set. The time has come.
Creepy theme music here
KK: You will have to face the most daring, deadliest, dastardly, despicable deed of this day…. after this break!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
TITLE: It's coming to haunt the world…
Fade to a man looking down a corridor.
MAN: Hello? Anybody in here?
Scary dramatic music here
TITLE: The death of millions is right around the corner…
Man: Noooooo!
A knife drops and hits the table
Man: It can't be true!
Action packed music starts
TITLE: This summer
The man runs through a cornfield and stumbles, falling through a secret trap door.
Man: It's a tomb! Oh my gosh!
TITLE: You won't believe it's real…
Man: This can't be happening to me!
TITLE: Until it is.
Man: WHHHHYYYYYY!
TITLE: The Killer Squirrels… coming to theaters July 13
COMMERCIAL END
KK: Now, we have decided that Bill the duck will go first into the deadly dump.
Bill: Well…
KK: YOU'RE NOT CHICKENING OUT, ARE YOU!
Bill: No, it's just that I need to…
KK: GO!
Bill: Uhhh…. but you see….
KK: I said… GO!
KK pushes Bill into the dump. Bill stumbles and walks into the darkness. We cannot see him anymore… a heavy fog is hovering over the dump.
We hear grunting noises and a small hiss. After that, nothing happens.
KK: Bill? You there!
KK: Well Jeremiah, I guess you're next.
Jeremiah: Fine. I have luck on my side… I'm sure to win.
Jeremiah walks bravely into the fog. We hear footsteps, then a squishing sound.
Jeremiah: What the…? Ahh! EWWWW!
slip fall thud
Jeremiah: EWWW! GET IT OF MEEEE! AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!
We hear nothing else after this.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
KK: Well…………… since no one made it, I guess no one gets a million dollars. I'm quite curious as to what happened to them, however.
Bill runs up to KK.
Bill: KK! I… made it. I had a slight… problem. And then I got lost in the fog and couldn't find my way back. But I made it!
KK: Sorry, we sent Jeremiah in. You lost.
Bill: Uh oh. Is Jeremiah still in there?
KK: No… it sounded like he slipped or something. Maybe he's dead.
Jeremiah runs up to KK and Bill. He is covered in what looks like mud.
KK: What happened to you?
Bill: Oh… no… I'm so sorry!
Jeremiah: I fell in loads of crap! It's not your fault Bill, some idiot just decided to use the grass as a toilet. Wait a minute! You're not saying…. AHHHHH!
Bill: Like I said! I'm so sorry!
KK: Ewwww… unpleasant! This concludes our episode… stay tuned. and stuff.
Yeah, gross episode. Sorry if this was disturbing. -Hoverboardkid