A/N: I got sick and tired of the many cliches in the Outsiders universe...Hence, this insanity was born...XD There will parodies of different things every couple of chapters..so yeah, on with the story..This chapter is the Curtis Sister Fic starring Ponygirl Colette Curtis-Riddle-Fowl XD

195-something

Mr. and Mrs. Curtis were in the hospital after the birth of their two twin children. One was a boy and one was a girl.

"So...umm..what should we call them," asked Mrs. Curtis with a blank look on her face, "We've already used Darrel and Sodapop, which I might remind you, we used only because you're 'psychic' told you to. Apparently they'll grow up, we'll die, and they will have millions of fangirls who drool over them. Did your 'psychic' tell you anything else?

Mr. Curtis was on the phone with his attorney, having gotten into a mess involving questionable activities with horse, or as Mr. Curtis preferred to call them, 'ponies' "DAMMNIT, IT WAS A PONY, BOY! A PONY! AND HER NAME WAS TAYLOR!"

A nurse jumps in out of a random plot hole and says, "Ponyboy? Okay, Ponyboy it is," and writes it on the little boy's birth certificate.

"Huh? Oh well, nurse from the random plot hole, let's call the girl Ponygirl Colette Curtis-Riddle-Fowl, even though the Riddles and the Fowls are from different universes and I technically shouldn't know about them" said Mrs. Curtis, clearly out of breath (and out of her mind.) Mr. Curtis has no say in this as he is sucked into the random plot hole the nurse came out of.

"Oh woe is me, we are too poor to keep them both. Who will we keep?"wondered Mrs. Curtis. Then she had a genius idea.

"Oh I know:Eenie, meenie,miney, moe, catch a Greaser by the hair, if he hollers, cut his throat, eenie,meenie, miney, moe. Okay, we keep Ponyboy! I'll just ship the girl off to live with horribly abusive relatives because it is vitally important to the non-existant plot," mused Mrs. Curtis to no one in particular.

14 Years Later

Ponygirl's POV

Ponygirl grew into a gorgeous,intelligent, flirtatious girl. Despite the fact that no human has purple eyes, she had purple eyes with long lashes.She had long Pantene-Pro V commercial hair that was black with 'natural' red streaks. Ponygirl was a 'greaser' girl, but she didn't smoke because it would ruin her perfect teeth. And don't ask about the name Ponygirl. Just don't.

Ponygirl was abused by her uncle who threw beer bottles at her when he was drunk. Somehow,he always managed to miss, even when she was standing right in front of him.One day, because she was strong and all that jazz, Ponygirl picked up and left. She ran only with the clothes on her back, and of course, it was raining. Where did she run to? To the train station, because every logical person runs to the train station in the middle of the night.She cried because-wait, why was she-I crying? I don't know it just seemed to make it dramatic. And yes, I do enjoy writing about myself in the third person. But I'm not insane. Oh no, not insane, because I'm the epitome of perfect.

Anyway back to my story. I snuck into the boxcar of a train so quietly that nobody noticed me. I was still sobbing for who knows what reason. Yet somehow, the railroad crew didn't notice my sobbing. Even though I was crying, my makeup was of course, still perfect. Haven't you gottten the point yet? I'm perfect!For some unfathomable reason, the train ended up in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

For another unfathomable reason, I, suddenly not tired, went over to the Greaser side of town, because by my Mary-Sueish magic, I knew exactly where that was.As you know, Mary-Sues never get tired, and they always know where they are.Then, as I walking, some Socs ambushed me.Technically, they should have killed me because I am a self-described Greaser, but-oh shut up, you're ruining my plot line! So anyway, they were going to let me go.

I frowned and gave a small pout. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be beaten and sobbing. At least according to the Mary-Sue Handbook of Satanic Perfectness, Chapter 4 Section 1: "Rule #1: When attempting to take over the story/world , in order to be accepted, you must have the following:

A terrible past...Check
Gorgeous to a fault...Check
Have some type of powers or be athletic..Check
Have the ability to save the day in stilettos...Check..I think
Somehow related to the main character in the story you are in...Check
Must be beaten and hope that the main character comes to your rescue...If not your screwed...Apparently I didn't have that yet

So I did the only thing I could think of. Hey, if they didn't do it for me, I had to improvise. Of course, my genius never fails me. "AHH! HELP ME! MURDER! RAPE! AHH! SAVE ME!" I screamed theatrically as the Socs stood there, staring at me dumbly.

"Umm...We were just going to ask you if you had a cigarette..Jeez, broads these days, so fucking touchy," said one of the Socs.

"Shut up. Just pretend like you're beating me to a bloody pulp. And yes, you have to listen or I'll use my hypnotic violet eyes ray thingy," I said, dropping my sweet manner. I needed one last thing to take over the story, and I was going to get it.

I heard some guys running towards me, so I "fell" and looked like I was unconcious. Because in order for my Mary-Sue magic to work, I had to appear helpless. At least that's what the handbook said.

When the guys had chased away the Socs, I opened one eye and saw the 'gang' standing over me. I jumped to my feet (elegantly of course) and said, "Hi! I'm the uber-hot, uber-tough Ponygirl Colette Curtis-Riddle-Fowl. I can fight, I'm smart, and oh yeah-did I mention I'm Ponyboy's twin? And Artemis Fowl's mother's father's brother's cousin 6 times removed? And Tom Riddle's 10th cousin by marriage?"

They were all super hot (including Dally, even though Ponyboy describes him as being towheaded and shifty-eyed) and I knew they all thought I was gorgeous.Once again, it was my perfection. I mean come on,who didn't think I was a doll?Darry and Soda were clearly disappointed I was their kid sister.

"Whaa?" they all asked in unison. I sighed and rolled my eyes. Clearly these boys weren't as bright as I thought. Perfect for my plot that was about to be put in motion.

A/N: The next couple of chapters will be a continuation of the Mary-Sue storyline...Give me some ideas for what I should parody after the Mary-Sue Curtis sister fic..Flames will be used to burn Ponygirl at stake..As an FYI, the insufferable twit, Ponygirl will be your narrator :)