Stupid Rumors
by Wicked Child

Genius they had all said.

Number one rookie in his class they had touted.

And yet they couldn't wrap their minds around his latest decision, not that they had been able to any other time. But this one, this decision certainly baffled the village in its simplicity.

He wanted to restore his clan, an ambition that had him secretly pegged as a closet pervert worse than the likes of the Toad Hermit. It was certainly a rather enormous ambition, which was why his choice for a wife was seemingly the beginnings of the end of his clan. It had already been a year since the wedding and yet no bouncing ball of Uchiha to be seen.

Now, there was nothing wrong with her per say, and she had been his teammate and everyone knew of her absolute devotion. But her hips were far too narrow, and she was such a busy kunoichi with all the healing she had to do on missions or at the hospital. It would be difficult to begin a family with such a busy woman. Not to mention that he was in high demand as well. Oh and best not to forget that she didn't come from some prestigious clan at all. And her forehead was rather big. Did she even have any real power? Sure she trained with the Godaime but did that actually mean anything?

He clearly wasn't stupid but some villagers wondered as they watched the pair walking toward the Hokage's building. His face remained as stoic as ever while she talked animatedly about this, that, and such. Sometimes he smirked at whatever comment she made, but ultimately he didn't bother with anything around him. Sure he made sure she didn't run into anything as she paid more attention to him than where she was going, but other than that...

Several of the male villagers didn't understand at all. They were willing to admit he was drop dead gorgeous, freaky eyes on or not. But if she were their wife, they'd have had her flat on her back and fat with child before anyone could say Chidori! This non-development in their marriage made some people think that the man wasn't up to par in some areas. Of course they didn't know for sure but someone's-brother's-wife's-cousin's-aunt's-second husband's-niece's boyfriend's-dad had seen him in a bathhouse and the Uchiha clan were well known only for their eyes for a reason. This was all speculation, as the only person to have seen him nude was his wife. Supposedly. Hell, people weren't all that sure that the former number one rookie actually wanted to restore anything.

They were wrong, but then, in his eyes everyone else in the village was severely mentally incapacitated. He knew how gorgeous his wife was, and he let her know whenever he could. That usually consisted of her being flat on her back with him somewhere above. No bouncing ball of Uchiha was a conscious decision between both man and wife; they wanted to enjoy each other before tending to parental duties. The villagers had no idea that their first date was spontaneous, stemming from a blunt and unexpected comment he made ('I'm horny' to which she blinked and said, 'I'm hungry.'). Upon further reflection he had decided that was a good thing; the villagers didn't need to know he really was a closet pervert worse than his former teacher, the Toad Hermit, and the current Hokage combined.

And had those idiotic villagers paid attention, they would have noticed that his forehead wasn't exactly tiny either. His clan was known for their eyes for a reason as it pertained to the shinobi arts whereas other bodily parts were not. He mentally stewed at the rumors regarding his...manliness. No one could have possibly seen him at a bathhouse unless they snuck into the Uchiha compound, which if they had, he would have eviscerated the offending person and used the entrails to fertilize his wife's growing garden. He was a private person, only using a public bathhouse when absolutely necessary.

Her hips were narrow but they were still well suited to bearing children. She was busy because she had trained with the Godaime, which meant that her exceptional skills were in high demand. Did they ever bother to pay attention to the fact that she had surpassed that Hokage in the healing arts? Fools, all of them. And he only kept a stoic facade because that was just him. It had nothing to do with the fact that he was uninterested in his surroundings or the fact that his wife's breasts tended to jiggle a little when she walked, talked, and used her arms to express her feelings all at the same time.

Did she have power? He smirked again as they passed the threshold of the Hokage's building. She looked weak, but he knew better. Long had she held sway over him, and only recently did she realize it.

"Sasuke-kun!"

He just smirked and continued his way toward the Hokage's office. None of the lesser shinobi in the reception hall would ever admit to seeing Uchiha Sasuke goose Haruno Sakura as she bent over to sign the guestbook for the both of them.

Look at all these rumors
Surrounding me everyday