Love and fear

Chapter 2: Why?

Chris woke up in the middle of the night. He was lying on the couch in the living room from the manor. His dad had wanted to fix him the old bed in the attic but it was too broken so he had once again slept on the couch. His parents had been rather upset about this fact and Chris had quickly tried to reassure them that he really didn't mind sleeping on the couch. Leo however had promised him he would repair the bed in the attic today.

Chris turned around to to go to sleep again but then he wondered what had woken him up. After a few seconds he could make out voices coming from the kitchen and curiously he stood up and walked over to it. He could recognize his mother's and father's voices and wanted to join them but what he heard made him stop dead in his tracks.

"Do you really think that it was a good idea to let him stay in the manor?" his mom asked.

"I don't know. I just wish we could tell him to leave" his dad answered.

Where they talking about him? But that didn't make sense. They had done a pretty god job convincing him that they wanted him around and know this? They had to talk about someone else... but there was no one else staying in the house. Chris took another step into the kitchen's direction, wanting to know what the hell was going on, but stopped again when he heard his mom speaking again.

"Or that we could tell him that we hate him."

Chris' heart almost stopped beating and the urge to know what was going on quickly faded. The only thing he wanted to do now was to leave, before his parents could say something else that would confirm what he was thinking. But it isn't possible, he tried to talk some sense into himself. They love me, they said that just two days ago.

"It's just, he's our son, how could we possible tell him that we hate him?" his father asked now, with the most uncaring voice Chris had ever heard from him – and that meant a lot.

For a tiny moment Chris thought that they talked about Wyatt, but a second later he realized how incredible stupid this thought was. His parents would never hate their little twice-blessed child. But that meant... No, that couldn't mean what he thought it meant. It wasn't possible! They had said that they loved him, that they cared about him... Was everything nothing else than a lie?

"I know what you mean Leo" Piper's voice pulled him out of his desperate thoughts. "I also would like to go to Chris and tell him to his face that I hate him but..."

Chris didn't get the rest of her sentence. I also would like to go to Chris and tell him to his face that I hate him. Why? Why did she say something like this? She wasn't supposed to say something like this. She was his mom, the only person he had trusted and rely on his whole life. The one person he loved more than life itsself. The very person who had convinced him just two days ago that she felt the same way towards him. Why did she say these things? Why did she hate him?

Without realizing, he took several steps back from the kitchen. He didn't want to hear more of this. But her words kept repeated theirselves in his head anyways. Why? he thought again. This wasn't supposed to happen. His mom had always loved him, all her life she had been there for him and even after her death he had sometimes felt her presence when he had needed her the most. He had known that coming back to the past could change a lot of things, but this wasn't supposed to happen.

"Oh god! I can't believe that I should get pregnant with him in the next weeks! It's just disgusting! I don't want him to be a part of me, I don't want him as my son!"

The words cut like a knife. Chris didn't even know why he had heard them, he had been so lost in his thoughts, but maybe Piper was so upset that she had yelled these words. He didn't know, nor was it important to him anyways. These words were what he had never wanted to hear from her, what he had feared to hear from her after she had find out about him. But she had said that she loved him, that she wanted him in her life...

FLASHBACK

"Chris you're our son. And of course we want you in our lives. I'm so sorry if you believe otherwise but please give us a second chance. We want to get to know you – the real you, not the emotionless mask you've put on since you got here. Please, I love you so much sweetie. Please come home with us" Piper pleaded again and hold out her hand for her son to take it.

END OF FLASHBACK

He had believed her. He had trusted her. And now... why did she have to convince him that she loved him if she hated him? Why? To hurt him? Did she want to hurt him? If that had been her intention she had surely achieved it. Never in his entire life he had felt hurt and betrayed like this. And that meant a lot, considering that his life had been a living hell since his mother's death.

But he had dealt with it. He had survived through all the pain and suffering. He had survived because he knew that his mom loved him so much that she didn't want him to join her where ever she was. She had wanted him to be happy, to have a life and all this thoughts had kept him going even in times he felt like there was no way out. But now...

Chris didn't notice that tears were running down his cheeks. He didn't even notice that there was no sound coming from the kitchen anymore. Neither did he notice the woman coming down the stairs beside him until she was standing in front of him. "Chris? Honey, what's wrong?"

At the sound of Piper's voice he finally snapped out of his state of shock and pain and looked at her. There was so much concern and fear in her eyes that he just wanted to hug her and forget about what she had just said. But this wasn't possible. She hated him... she had said that she hated him, that the thought of sharing her body with him was disgusting her. He couldn't be in her arms... not now, not ever again. With this sudden and painful realization he quickly backed away from her, allowing even more tears coming out of his eyes. Why?

"Chris, you're scaring me. What's going on?" Piper asked, her voice so caring and loving.

How could she do this? How could she act like she didn't just tell Leo that she hated him? Why did she do this? He couldn't understand it. "Why? Why..." he managed to choke out. He didn't want an answer, but the words had left his mouth before he could stop himself.

"Why what?" Piper asked confused and took a step in his direction.

Chris immediately backed away again. Something in him snapped when he heard Piper's confusion. He turned his pain into anger, he could handle it much better this way. "Why the hell do you pretend like you give a damn about me? YOU HATE ME! How could you do this to me? WHY? You said that you love me, but now your telling your fucked up elder husband that you HATE me! Did you want to hurt me? Do you really hate me THAT MUCH that you had to give me some hope before you go and destroy it again? Is that the way your having fun these days? Well, I hope you enjoyed the show, but I have enough of it! Go and save your precious son, the one that you REALLY love, alone! I'm gone!" And with that he orbed away, before the pain could overpower his anger again and he would break down in front of her.

After Chris had orbed away Piper just stood there for a while too stunned at her son's outburst. Then his words hit her like a 10.000 volt shock. Did he just said that he thought that she hated him? "LEO!" she yelled, panic, confusion and fear evident in her voice. "LEO!"

A second later Leo orbed beside her. "What is it, Piper?" he asked sleepily.

"CHRIS! HE'S GONE!" Piper screamed at him.

"What?" Leo asked, now fully awake and looked over to the couch that was indeed empty. "Where did he go?" he then asked, worry coming over him too when he saw how upset Piper seemed to be.

"I don't know, but he – he said that..." Piper trailed off while tears came to her eyes. Why did Chris say those things? She loved him and she had thought that he knew that.

"What did he say?" Leo asked and took her into his arms.

Piper suppressed the urge to sob into his shoulder. She had to find Chris, that was all that mattered right now. "Where is he, Leo?" she asked and pulled away from him.

Leo closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again there were lots of worry and fear in them. "I can't sense him" he said. "What happened here? Why did he leave?"

Piper now started to cry silently before she choked out "He thinks I hate him... I – I love him so much Leo, I want him back" she sobbed while Leo looked at her in shock and surprise. "Why does he think that? I want him back..."

Barbas smirked satisfied. Everything went like he had planned it. Chris Halliwell's greatest fear was that his family hated him. Well, at least one of his greatest fears. The fear to lose his mother was just as strong as the one that his brother would become evil. He could also use that against the boy if his first fear wasn't enough to breake him. But Barbas wasn't too worried that it wouldn't.

Right now he was standing next to Chris, invisible of course, who was crying heavily. He knelt down at the boy's side and whispered "She hates you. You're nothing else than an annoyance to her. She wants you dead. You shouldn't have been born, she doesn't wants you, she never did."

Chris tried hard to ignore the voice in his head that told him all this horrible stuff... but wasn't it right? I also would like to go to Chris and tell him to his face that I hate him. She had said that. He had heard her with his own ears. "No... no, no, no, that's not true!" he yelled, his voice echoed in the lonely alley he was kneeling.

It is true, the voice spoke again. She hates you.

"No, no she doesn't..." Chris whispered.

"Yes, she does" Barbas said, grinning evilly when he noticed how the boy started to believe in what he told him. Not much longer and he would have his revenge.

TBC... (So, what do you think? I know, I'm (again) so cruel to Chris... but maybe I'm just like this because it makes him so cute and I could just hug him! Well, anyways please review!)