Love and Fear

Chapter 4: Don't leave me again

Piper shut the book of shadows and groaned in fear and frustration. "I can't find anything else than we've already tried" she said and went over to Paige who was sitting by a table with the scrying crystal. "Did you find him?"

Paige shook her head and looked up at her older sister. The heartbreak was written all over her face and she quickly stood up to hug Piper. "We'll find him" she said firmly, even though she wasn't convinced from her own words.

"What if we find him too late?" Piper asked while she tried hard to hold back the tears.

"Piper you can't think like this" Paige tried to reassure her.

Just then Phoebe walked into the attic and Piper quickly turned over to her and asked hopefully "And? What did Darryl say?"

Phoebe hesitated. She saw the look of hope in Piper's eyes and felt bad because she knew that with her news she would destroy it again. She took a deep breath before she finally answered "He didn't hear anything about Chris."

The fear for her son threatened to suffocate Piper but she knew that she had to find him. She gathered all her composure back and sat down at the table. She took the scrying crystal and let it fly over the map. Phoebe and Paige just stood there, not sure what to do. The book didn't help them this time and the only thing they seemed to be able to do was to hope that either Leo or Piper would find their nephew before it's too late.

A few minutes later Leo orbed in and walked over to his wife. She didn't ask if he had found their son yet because she already knew that he if would than her husband wouldn't be here without him. Seeing the scared expression on Piper's face caused Leo to close his eyes and try to sense for his son again. After a while he wanted to stop but then the image of Chris lying unconscious in an alley with a heavily bleeding wound came to his mind.

Leo quickly opened his eyes again and exclaimed "I've found him!". In the same moment the crystal in Piper's hand pointed to an alley in China Town. Piper didn't waste any time and took her husband's hand who orbed them away immediately.

"Hey! Wait for us!" Phoebe yelled and took Paige's hand to follow them.

Barbas watched how the boy at his feet stopped breathing and grinned. However his grin vanished when he heard the familiar sound of orbing. "Damn it, they're early" he swore before he turned unvisible.

Just a second later Leo and Piper appeared next to Chris. "Oh God!" Piper shrieked when she saw her son. "Leo!"

Leo was already kneeling beside him and hold a hand over Chris' wound. The golden glow came but the wound didn't start to close. Phoebe and Paige also arrived now and quickly stepped behind the couple who were kneeling next to Chris. Piper had tears running down her cheeks and she took her son's hand that was icy cold. "Leo" Piper choked out. "He – he isn't... I mean he isn't..." She couldn't finish her sentence.

And Leo couldn't answer. His powers were already working for a few seconds now but still nothing had happened. He could hear Piper whispered soothing words to Chris and concentrated harder. He couldn't let his son die, he wouldn't do that. The glow from his hands get brighter and everyone sighed reliefed when they saw that Chris' wound finally started to close.

From his spot in the opposite corner Barbas cursed again when he saw that this damn elder healed the boy. Paige looked up and frowned confused. She could have sworn that she had heard something. Phoebe noticed her expression and asked "What's the matter?"

Paige continued to stare at the spot from where she had believed to hear something but then she turned her attention back to her nephew while she answered "Nothing, forget it."

"Why do you think we could suddenly sense him?" Phoebe asked no one in particular.

"He was too weak to block us out any longer" Leo answered and watched reliefed how his son's wound closed completely.

Chris immediately tried to sit up but Leo put a hand to his chest to hold him back. "Calm down son, we'll take you home and there you can get some rest, okay?" he said gently and before Chris could even react he orbed them back to the manor.

Piper quickly turned to her sister, now with tears of joy and relief in her eyes. Paige took her's and Phoebe's hand and together they followed Leo.

When they appeared in Piper's room they were shocked at what they found. Leo was lying on the floor and Chris stood in front of the bed and yelled at him "Don't touch me!"

"Chris..." Piper started to say but was quickly cut off.

"I don't need your damn excuses either!" Chris continued to yell while his father stood up again. "Why didn't you just let me die? After all that's want you want!"

He wanted to orb away but Leo quickly reached forward to hold him back. "You're staying! And we're going to find out what the hell's wrong with you" he exclaimed upset about his son's unnatural furious behaviour.

"Wrong with me?" Chris yelled in disbelief. "You're freaking impossible! Just leave me the hell alone!" He tried hard to get away from Leo's grasp but his father didn't let him. Angrily he once again sent him flying across the room and Leo crashed into a wall.

"CHRIS! YOU STOP THIS, RIGHT NOW!" Piper shouted and hoped to snap her son out of his anger.

Unfortunely it didn't work. When Chris spoke again his voice was lower but his words were as harsh as before. "What? Are you afraid that I'm going to hurt your damn husband? Where were you when he hurt me? Where were you when he decided that I'm not worth anything and abandoned me? Tell me! Oh wait, I can answer that too. You were with Wyatt and later you DIED!"

Piper felt like someone had stabbed a knife into her heart. She had never believed that Chris would ever talk to her like this. And what was upsetting her even more was the fact that he felt like she had let him down... she had been a horrible mother to him. She had left him alone. The tears came back into her eyes while she looked at her son.

Phoebe and Paige were equally shocked about their nephew's behaviour. They knew that Chris loved Piper, they had been able to see that clearly yesterday. Paige could easier understand how he had to feel right now because of her work as social worker. She was sure that Chris loved her eldest sister dearly but Piper – they all, had hurt him very badly in the last months. Actually Paige had been surprised that he had been so forgiving and didn't seem to be angry at all.

"Yeah, YOU DIED!" Chris yelled and snapped them out of their state of shock. "You left me! I had absolutely no one in the last eight years except from Bianca and now she's dead too! And you have the nerve to ask me what's wrong with me?"

"Chris we know that you're hurt and you have every right to be mad at us but..." Leo tried to calm his son down but Chris quickly cut him off. "You're damn right! I am mad at you! You said that you love me and then you – " His voice suddenly broke and for the first time since Piper had arrived here she could see something else than anger in her son's eyes.

She decided to take this opportunity and hugged him. "I do love you. You're my baby, I..."

Chris pulled away from her and exclaimed "Don't call me that!"

"Chris..."

"NO!" Chris yelled with tears in his eyes. "I don't want to hear it! I'm sick of your lies and promises!"

"We didn't lie to you" Leo said calmly. "We meant it when we said that we love you."

Chris scoffed. "Yeah sure, that's the reason why Piper told you later that she hates me and doesn't want me as her son."

Piper winced a little when she heard him calling her by her first name again but quickly tried to focus again. "Honey, I never said that. Nor will you ever hear me saying something like this."

Chris started to shake over his whole body while he tried to hold his emotions in check. He was angry at them, but he was already sorry for yelling at his mother. But why did he care? It's not like she cared about him... or did she? He was so confused. A part of him just couldn't believe that Piper would ever reject him like this, but he had heard her. "I heard you" he then said his voice now barely above a whisper.

Piper and Leo frowned cofused while Paige and Phoebe stood back. They knew that this was something that their elder sister and brother in law had to handle but still they remained at the doorway to see what was happening. "Chris, I never said something like this" Piper now tried to convince her son.

"Neither did I" Leo added.

While Chris looked at his parents and tried to figure out if they told him the truth, Barbas appeared, invisible, in the room. He saw that his plan threatened to fail. The boy started to believe his parents. Well, well, then we have to do something else, Barbas thought and concentrated to conjure another vision for Chris.

Everyone in the room jumped when Chris suddenly exclaimed loudly "Demon!" They turned into the direction he was looking at but saw no one. Chris used his telekineses to throw the 'demon' away but since this demon didn't really exist his power hit a vase and it shattered on floor. Confused the entire family turned back to Chris and Paige asked "What are you doing?"

Chris didn't hear her. He started to panic slightly when he saw that his power hadn't affect the demon and yelled "Piper blow him up!"

"Blow whom up?" she asked back, now a bit worried.

"The demon, he's right..." Chris started to say but he stopped in horror when he saw that the demon shot an energy ball at his mother. He tried to push Piper out of the way but he was too late. The energy ball hit her in the back and sent her flying next to his feet.

"Noo!" Chris yelled in fear and knelt down next to his 'mother' to take her in his arms. "Mom! Please, no..."

Piper watched in absolute shock how Chris sat on the floor and talked with her like she was in his arms. She swallowed hard before she said gently "Chris, sweetie, I'm right here. I'm fine."

Again Chris didn't hear her. He looked frantically up to ask his dad for help but he wasn't there. Neither were his aunts. They had all left. They had left him. Tears came to his eyes while he tightened his grip on his 'mother' and spoke softly "I'm so sorry mom, I didn't mean to yell at you... please don't leave me again, I need you... please..."

"CHRIS!" Piper shouted again. She really began to panic now just like her sisters and husband.

"Who is he talking to?" Phoebe asked lowly.

"It seems like he's talking to Piper" Paige answered.

"But I'm here!" Piper yelled and turned to Leo. "What's wrong with him?"

Leo just continued to stare at his son for a few seconds but then he answered "I don't know."

"Mom!" Chris sobbed. "Mom please, I'm so sorry, please don't leave me again... DAD!"

"What the hell?" Leo said when he heard his son's heartwrenching voice. "Chris, I'm here!"

"Mom... please, wake up mom" Chris continued to cry. "I'm so sorry... Please, don't die... don't leave me again. You have every right to hate me... I'll do everything you want – just don't leave me..."

"Chris?" 'Piper' said with a hoarse voice and opened her eyes a little.

"Mom!" Chris exclaimed. "Mom, I'm sorry... please – "

"I hate you... how could you do this? This is all your fault..." 'Piper' told him what caused Chris to sob even harder. "Just because of you I won't be able to be there for Wyatt... for my baby... I'll never forgive you for this..." With that 'Piper' closed her eyes again.

"No! Mom! Please, no... I'm sorry" Chris cried. Oh god, what had he done? He was responsible for his mom's death... but he had never wanted to hurt her. The guilt and the fear were getting unbearable. He had killed his mom... how should he ever be able to live without her again? He couldn't lose her again... "No... no" he sobbed. "I love you mom, I'm sorry... please don't leave..."

Piper, her sisters and Leo were all totally shocked. What the hell was going on here? Suddenly Piper noticed something. A lock of her son's hair had turned grey. Within a second she understood what's going on and she gasped "Barbas..."

TBC... (So what do you think? Will Chris snap out of it or will Barbas win? Review and you'll get the answer... )