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Chapter Six

"Home, sweet home," Buffy sighed as she looked fixedly at the door in front of her. She tied the robe a little tighter around her body and breathed deeply before stepping into her new room. I should have waited, she thought tiredly when she noticed Cordelia sitting on the bed. "Hi," came her awkward greeting. Buffy still couldn't get used to the idea of living under the same roof as Cordelia, much less that the brunette seemed to have a free pass into every room, included those where she wasn't invited. She decided to ignore the 'visit', sometimes that had worked with the Cordelia from her past, and walked to the small vanity table against the furthest wall. Grabbing the brush she'd been given the night before - Cordelia had grumpily stated that she'd really need it if she were even the tiniest bit like her local Dead. She is already dead. counterpart - she passed it slowly through her wet hair, careful not to look n the bed's direction.

Obviously, that wouldn't stop her ex classmate from saying her piece. Not a minute had passed, when Cordelia's hand slapped the mattress in an impatient gesture that startled Buffy. "This time you already knew whose robe you're wearing," she commented with an edge to her voice.

Still not facing her, Buffy shrugged. "I thought it was better than to parade through the hotel in nothing but a towel." Had she turned around, Buffy would have noticed the brunette's hearty nod. "What did you want, Cordelia?"

"I know we've never been friends or anything like tha-" Buffy snorted and turned around in her seat with an warning expression. Cordelia sighed; but didn't relent. "See? That's my point. Look, Buffy, things were never smooth between us, and from what you told us, they were probably a lot worse in your reality ." Buffy nodded but didn't comment. "I wanted you to know that Wesley and I - and even Gunn. Don't mind his early behaviour, he just was worried. We all were." Noticing that Buffy's look had shifted into slight hurt at being considered a danger, Cordelia quickly returned to her original topic. "We all are investigating your apparition here and we'll do our best to see you go home."

Buffy tried to smile at the comforting words. She really did. But she hadn't studied Psychology for nothing and she knew that what Cordelia's words had omitted would bother her if she didn't ask. "What about Angel?" Incredibly, the brunette's eyes were suddenly shadowed by suspicion. What the…? Cordelia talked before she could ask.

"Angel?"

"You mentioned yourself and your friends," Buffy began calmly, shoving the strange reactions she got every time she mentioned Angel away for the moment. "But you didn't include him. Why not? Does he not want to help me? Why wouldn't he? What's his problem with me?"

At first Cordelia was taken aback by the onslaught of questions; but by the time Buffy had finished, her face set into a determined expression. "You," she answered frankly.

It was Buffy's turn to be surprised. Then surprise faded to leave something like acceptance instead. "Oh."

"Don't take it personally," Cordelia was quick to reassure. "It's just that… Well, this is… and Angel wasn't prepared for…." She shook her head. "You have to admit that this is weird, Buffy, even by our standards. Not only did Angel wake up to finding you, but you weren't even an enemy or her. He can neither destroy you or…" Cordelia trailed off, the uncertainty in her voice reminding Buffy again how different this girl was from the air-headed princess she'd left behind.

"It is too much to have his ex girlfriend's exact replica under his roof," Buffy summarised when it was obvious her companion wouldn't continue.

Cordelia nodded and mumbled a soft "Yeah" in reply. A silent moment ensued; but she squared her shoulders and looked straight at the blonde some meters away. "But I didn't come to talk about Angel. I came to make peace with you." Buffy raised a doubtful eyebrow and Cordelia wanted to laugh. Here was this girl accepting rather calmly that vampires were real and yet she was sceptical about her change in attitude. An unsettling thought sobered her, had she actually been that mean in highschool? "Look, whatever I… or that Cordelia… did, I'm sorry."

Buffy stared at the other girl for some moments, again beginning to brush her hair absently. If she were an impartial observer, she would have to admit that Cordelia seemed honest in her apology. The mere fact that Cordelia Chase was apologising was enough grounds for believing in her. But Buffy wasn't impartial were the school tyrant was concerned; a girl with that face had kicked her when she was at her lowest and no matter how highly Buffy thought herself to be… "It's not that easy."

Cordelia's eyebrows scrunched in slight irritation and she stood up rigidly, her eyes recovering that annoyed air Buffy recognised instantly. Same old Cordelia, she thought inwardly. "If I can talk to Willow for a straight hour without interruption, then you can very well talk to me," she said testily.

Would the surprises ever end? Buffy thought in dismay. "This Willow talks to you? For real? In friendly terms?" She asked totally baffled at the apparent change of heart in her best friend. Her eyes widened in honest curiosity. "How comes she forgave you?"

Cordelia's mouth was hanging open until she noticed and snapped it shut. The corner of her lips twisted in a bitter smile. "Willow? Forgive me?" A chuckle. "You really aren't from this world." She shook her head, as if dispelling it from unwanted thoughts. Her hand went to her abdomen and Buffy watched as it traced an imaginary line over it. "Tell me, Buffy," she finally said conversationally, "is there also an Alexander Lavelle Harris over there?"

Buffy's mouth opened on reflex. "You know his middle name?"

Present

Buffy threw the closet's door open and sighed in relief when her eyes caught the framed picture. Sure enough; Wills, Xander, Jesse and herself were there, grinning madly in a snapshot from their day at the amusement park. The Four Musketeers - Willow had patiently explained that there were really four of them - in their happiest times. Buffy remembered it had been the summer before their senior year, long before they had to worry about getting into college, picking a career and those unsavoury facts of life that separated them.

Buffy sighed. It surely wouldn't have been so hard had they known what had awaited them in a parallel universe… She passed a careful finger over Jesse's smiling face, squelching the urge to pick up the phone and speeddial his cell phone's number. He wouldn't understand her sudden preoccupation and she would never have the heart to tell him about it. In all the months she had spend there, one of the hardest news to accept was Jesse's death. A vampire, Willow had told her after Xander left the room suddenly, snapping the door closed behind him. Staked within a week of her coming to Sunnydale. That Buffy had never gotten to know his really bad jokes and his eternal collection of socks that never matched. "Yellow and purple on Monday mornings are the only thing that makes waking up worth it," he used to say. "Well, that and Cordelia's face when he sees them," he added when he finally got over his crush-slash-obsession. That boy had been important in their lives. Why, she remembered with a fond smile, one Monday morning long into college life she and Willow had surprised each other wearing the infamous colours…

Buffy shook her head and left the picture back in its usual place. She couldn't abandon her friends.

Not when she had just gotten them back.

Wasn't that what she'd wanted? Coming back?

Buffy left the door open when she entered her room, only worried about making it to her bed before crumbling down. The flavour of the orange juice she'd managed to drink for breakfast was now unwelcome as she tried to swallow her sobs. It wasn't fair. It wasn't. It hadn't been her decision to come here. It sure as hell hadn't been her idea to come to this crazy world where sharpened axes were present in the kitchen and demon hunting tips was as common as asking for more milk around the table.

Damn Willow. Damn stupid spell. She stopped a tear with the back of her hand, knowing it was impossible she'd stop the others from coming. This world wasn't hers, she didn't fit. Cordelia and Wesley kept giving her long inquisitive looks when they thought she didn't notice. Buffy couldn't shake the feeling that her every action was monitored and filed away and she'd rarely felt more uncomfortable than last night when Cordelia's eyes widened as she accepted the tea Wesley had offered.

Buffy only wanted to get her life back to normal. She didn't want to be stuck in this depressing hotel; she didn't want the pitying looks she received one minute or the prying ones coming next. Was it wrong? Wanting to go back into the world she remembered? Even if it was only a version of it? Her lips tightened as she remembered Wesley's words. Well, what right did he have to decide where she came or went? Buffy Summers wasn't a goddamn toddler and she didn't care about the so called 'rules of the universe'. Screw Wesley. Screw his opinion. Screw those idiotic rules. She was going home and nothing, much less an eccentric bunch of freaks, was stopping her.

That determination in mind, Buffy got up from the bed and threw her hair back in a show of defiance nobody was to witness. Glancing at the clock, she was surprised when she realised how many hours she'd stayed sulking. Like the little girl I'm not. Finding them was easy, she just had to follow the murmur of voices from the only closed room in first floor. If they thought such a little thing would stop her... Buffy didn't consider it twice before throwing the door open.

Her hosts didn't even have the decency to show some surprise at her impetuous entry. Cordelia just rolled her eyes a little and motioned to Gunn to lower his sword. Wesley just nodded in her general direction, his eyes always glued to the text in his hands. Now that she noticed it, the three of them were surrounded by books. "What are you...?"

Buffy didn't get to finish her sentence before Cordelia tugged her arm down, ruthlessly sitting her on the chair next to her. "Now that you came to us, you sit there and help us." The brunette scanned through the collection at her side and finally gave Buffy a small pile of the thinnest books. "If you don't understand the language just leave it for Wesley or Angel." She gestured to the tallest piles in the room.

"Wait..."

"If it's too gross a mental image." At that Cordelia leaned more into Buffy as her voice lowered considerably. "Close your eyes really tight and skip to the next paragraph." Then it raised again. "Just suck it up. We all have to."

"You know we heard you, Cordy," Gunn commented offhandedly. Wesley nodded again.

Cordelia rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Whatever."

Buffy blinked at the bizarre exchange, then blinked some more when she cracked the first book open. She snapped it shut immediately, suddenly remembering why she'd decided not to become a surgeon. She breathed deeply, trying to forget the printed picture and instead focused on her earlier decision.

Right.

She got up, throwing the book carelessly onto her seat. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Cordelia make a quick grasp for it and put back into safety. Buffy closed up the few steps to Wesley's chair and decidedly put her hands under the covers of his book, closing it before he had time to react. Wesley's head snapped up to regard her, annoyance and concern mixing in his expression. "I gather you still have a hard time accepting the situation I illustrated this morning."

Buffy nodded.

"Yet I hope that by now you'd considered all the arguments I explained and accepted the imminent consequences."

"Arguments? You just said that, and I quote, it wasn't a good idea and that you and the others wouldn't let me do it." Buffy shook her head. "So no. I don't accept those consequences because I don't accept those arguments." Her finger made quote signs at the last word. "Tell me, Wesley, why can't I go to Sunnydale?"

Still in his chair, Gunn lifted an eyebrow. Wesley sighed and put his book aside, then his hands came together on his lap in the same way they'd done that morning. "It wouldn't be recommendable for anyone."

Buffy shook her head in denial. "But..."

"Are you daft or just blind?" The voice startled her, making her turn around to face Gunn. He didn't seem intimidated by the annoyed look she gave him. "Come on girl, their Buffy has been dead and buried for years, Buffy." He shook his head at the apparent incoherence in that sentence. Cordelia also reacted to the double mention of 'Buffy', bringing a hand to her head to massage her temple. "What? You think you can ring the witches' doorbell and state your business like a salesman? Did you think at all, girl?"

Buffy blushed at the direct attack. Truth was that yes, that was more or less the approach she'd considered. She knew it would be weird. But how could it be any weirder than these people's reactions? At least, Buffy doubted Willow would chain and interrogate her. Besides, maybe they were right but at the end of the day... "Sunnydale is my home."

"Things are just beginning to go smoother in Sunnydale," Wesley explained gently. "The first months after our Buffy died were rather... problematic. Your friends have barely found their roles in your, excuse me, her absence. Not to mention the trouble that Faith's return caused." Buffy's expression didn't show any recognition so Wesley explained further. "Faith is your replacement, after a fashion. The group didn't welcome her very amiably."

Cordelia shifted in her chair. "Who would?" she muttered, making sure the volume was enough for the others to hear.

Wesley didn't pay her any attention, still focused on Buffy. "They aren't prepared to deal with you on top of their other issues," he finished, obviously willing her to understand their position.

Buffy couldn't deny there was some reason in his words. But she still didn't want to relent. "You say they know about this..." She nodded toward the books. "...supernatural stuff. Surely they would understand this as well. They are my friends. I know them. Please? I'm sure neither Willow or Jesse or Xander would turn me away."

"Jesse?" Gunn mouthed silently at Cordelia. She began shaking her head but suddenly her eyes widened as she gasped, staring at Buffy with a surprised expression.

Buffy continued unmindful of the exchange. "You accepted my arrival very well, how could they do worse?"

"Very well?" Wesley asked in surprise. "You call 'very well' the welcome we gave you? The..."

"Dragging," Cordelia supplied.

"Bringing," Wesley continued.

"And don't forget chaining!" Cordelia concluded with the hugest roll of eyes.

Buffy blushed at the reminder of her accusations. Not that she hadn't had good grounds to make them; but in retrospective they sounded rather silly. "Well, those things considered, I guess." she began lamely, "Maybe you could be right. But." Her voice steadied and she ignored Cordelia's loud sigh. "I still want to go."

"Why?"

Buffy looked at Gunn, unsure about his motive to ask such an obvious question. "Because I miss my friends. I told you, Sunnydale is home."

"This Sunnydale isn't," Gunn argued. "This, let's call it 'version' of your friends aren't your actual friends either."

Buffy felt a bit flustered at the logic in that. "I just want to see them," she admitted. "And I thought that if my Willow brought me here, maybe this Willow could---"

"Get you back?"

The new voice surprised the four of them.

Chapter Seven

Buffy turned around to discover Angel standing just some steps behind her. "Yes."

Angel nodded severely, walking past her without acknowledging any of his co-workers. He picked up the book Wesley had left aside and leafed through it. Strangely, as intent as he seemed in his reading, Buffy didn't think he was actually concentrated on it. There was silence until he looked up and addressed her again. "She can't. Forget Sunnydale."

Buffy gaped at his words. At that moment Wesley's cautions and Gunn's words were forgotten, theirs had been well meaning advice. Angel's words were an order and whoever he was in this world, in Buffy's he was still the stranger who didn't have any say in her life. A hand went to her hip as the other pointed a finger to him. If Cordelia gasped at the sight or Angel tensed for a second, Buffy was completely oblivious to it. "What? You yourself mentioned that this Willow is powerful, Wesley even said she has the greatest potential ever seen. How would you know what she can or can't do?" The accusatory finger retracted as both arms went to a protective stand over her chest. She kept silent for a moment, the next thing the group knew, Buffy's eyes had narrowed dangerously and she was using them to pin Angel down. "Have you already talked to her?" She accused him. "Did you go behind my back to discuss me with my friends?"

Angel's jaw set in anger, an expression his friends recognised instantly but was lost against Buffy's own fury.

Watching the scene unfolding before him, Gunn nudged Cordelia softly. "Wow, does she know to jump to conclusions!" he whispered to the brunette.

Cordelia looked at them alternatively and hastily put a hairlock behind her ear, a sure sign that she was nervous about something. "Same old, same old," she whispered back. "That made them such a couple." Gunn's eyebrows lifted in curiosity and nudged her harder. Cordelia relented with a sigh. "Buffy jumped to conclusions, he walked her patiently through a plan. Angel mused on a course of action all night, she made him decide at once." Gunn nodded in understanding but Cordelia touched his arm, signalling she still had more to say. "That was how it worked back then. But now..." She straightened her blouse's collar when Angel sent her a silencing look.

"But now the boss doesn't look as someone with any patience left," Gunn completed the sentence, meeting Angel's gaze with a challenging one of his own.

Deciding that ignoring the sideline commentary was his best option for the moment, Angel redirected his attention on the seething blonde before him. "No, I haven't told Willow." Buffy's glare didn't lessen. "Or anyone in Sunnydale at that. What kind of friend would I be then?"

"The kind that won't let them see me. I bet they'd be happier to have me over than you are. They are my actual friends, after all."

Unknowingly, he repeated Gunn's earlier words. "No, they aren't. Just as you are not Buffy."

"But..."

Tiredly, he passed a hand in front of his eyes. "Yes, you are Buffy." The mentioned girl couldn't help but notice how different his tone was as he said those words, almost sad. His voice gained strength as he went on. "But are you Buffy, the vampire slayer, loving sister and missed martyr? Can you understand Willow's magic addiction or accept Xander's ex demon fiancé?" Buffy lowered her gaze, knowing that she was fighting a losing war. She couldn't picture a Willow with an addiction or a Xander on the way to marriage, demon brides notwithstanding. "No. You aren't Buffy, the vampire slayer. You are afraid of the simplest fray and you don't..." He sighed. "You are just a college student, Buffy Summers."

"So I'm not good enough for them?" Buffy cleared her throat after asking the question, surprised at how hurt and small she had sounded.

Angel turned around abruptly and Buffy thought that he'd closed his eyes before doing so. Wesley chose that moment to make his presence known again. "Angel isn't trying to hurt you on purpose. What he is saying is what we've tried to explain all along. They don't need you, Buffy. In any case, they would need their friend back."

"Let this absurd wish go. Just let them in peace." Angel added, still not facing her.

Buffy was close to tears and she knew it. Damn it. Nothing was going as she had planned. "If I'm so useless, why do you let me stay here? All this chatter about realities and rules of the universe, can't you let me go? Why not shove me back to my world?"

"But that's what we're doing!" An annoyed Cordelia interrupted. "Why else would we be buried under these books?"

"You could ask Willow for help, at least," Buffy said hopefully, uninterested in Cordelia's outburst. On its own volition her arm extended to touch Angel's back, but she snatched it back before he could notice. Nevertheless he turned toward her again, and shook his head.

"Months after Buffy died, Willow immersed herself in the study of the black arts. She wanted to..." he trailed off and Wesley came to his help again.

"Willow considered calling her friend back," he summarised.

Buffy was confused until an idea came to her. But surely her conclusion was wrong... "Resuscitation?" The grave expressions around her confirmed it. "Is Willow that powerful?"

"She is quite a gifted Wiccan," Cordelia offered.

Angel nodded. "She is. Her lover and Xander called me. Between the three of us we managed to dissuade her from her attempt. But even after we did it, Willow wasn't the same anymore."

"The results weren't pretty at all," Cordelia remembered. Gunn and Wesley grimaced at the memories. Buffy just listened, half fascinated and half sickened by this story. She could hardly believe this was Willow they were talking about, the same who botched the simplest spells and was always too happy for her own good.

Angel continued the tale. "Willow had tried to drown herself in black magic, that alone would have had severe consequences. What made the situation worse was her feelings of failure. She felt she had disappointed one of her best friends, failed to protect the one who'd protected her."

Cordelia shuddered visibly. "It was awful. Her hair was all black, the same as her eyes."

"Not a sign of life in them," Gunn said.

Wesley decided to add something. "She ate, slept and walked like a normal person but..."

"She was lost." Angel looked at Buffy, trying to make her understand the severity of the situation. "After many weeks we finally came up with a plan. It was something seemingly simple, but innovative enough that it could work."

"Xander's plan, of course," Cordelia interrupted with a wry chuckle.

"One day we went to her room and reminded her about parallel dimensions. We had crossed upon some of them in the past by that point and had some experience in the matter. Anyway, Fred, Xander and I began discussing the matter in front of Willow, making sure she'd listen to the different arguments. While Xander explained about the dark reality they'd brushed with years earlier because of---"

Cordelia coughed loudly, a light blush covering her cheeks. Gunn chuckled beside her, she had always reacted that way after Anya had told the whole story.

"Because of a spell," Angel continued. "Fred told them about dimensions with very little to do with ours."

"We are 'cows' there," Wesley interrupted.

Buffy's surprised eyes made all the questions but Angel waved off the comment with a shrug. "Eventually we got her interested. Tara proposed that they investigate and Willow accepted. It was still magic, but it wasn't a dark one, it should help bringing Willow out of her self-imposed shell."

"Did it?"

"Slowly. Only after six months did they gather all the information they would get. That's why I tell you Willow won't be able to help; nothing in those texts included a case such as yours."

Buffy glanced up at him sharply, her expression incredulous. "Then, if Willow already knows everything." Her shoulders drooped. "What are we looking for now?"

"Angel didn't help Willow as much as he claimed." Cordelia gave a short laugh.

Buffy furrowed her brow. "What?"

Wesley was the one to answer. "You have to understand that, by necessity, Angel's collection is very extensive. There were many books that wouldn't have been recommendable for Willow to read, not in her state. She had barely gotten through the worst of her addiction; books that powerful could have easily tempted her away from recovery."

Buffy nodded, understanding the predicament they'd been in. Especially that it meant that there was hope yet. But in the meanwhile... "I guess moving out of the hotel is out of the question as well."

"There are too many dangers out there."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Oh please! I've grown up here. Now I even know that vampires are real and I'm prepared against them, what else could L.A. throw at me?"

Suddenly Angel was so close that she had to back away. "That's exactly what I talk about. You know nothing, you little girl. 'What else', you ask? Have you even thought what would happen if any of Buffy's enemies saw you?" Suddenly a stake came from under his sleeve and stopped inches away from the blonde's face. Everyone in the room gasped, including Buffy who suddenly felt faint. "Do you think you'd survive one minute against them?" Buffy bit her lip and shook her head, recognising the truth in his words. Angel calmed down when he saw her acceptance, lowering the hand with the stake at his side. One hand against her shoulder pushed her away from his path as he went past her. "Of course you wouldn't," he said tiredly at the door, "that's why we're playing babysitter and you will play baby even if I have to chain you to your bed again!"

Buffy bristled at his last words. She had accepted his arguments, hadn't she? Why should he still treat her so angrily? "Oh fine, play your dark hero routine, why don't you?" Her hands met her hips angrily and her chin raised defiantly. Cordelia was glad Angel's back was to her this time. If she was seeing 'their' Buffy in that pose, she could only guess what it'd do to Angel. Meanwhile he didn't even stop on his way out.

"Ugh!" Buffy huffed. "Why must you be so - so - annoying and..." She searched desperately for the right word. Suddenly it came to her. "Why must you be so cryptic, Angel?" Her voice had raised with her last words. That made him froze in his tracks. "Dangers wait for you in the shadows. Your enemies are close... God! I should just go and call you Cryptic Guy from now on!" Buffy noticed as his body tensed. So she finally obtained a reaction from him!

It was only a short-lived glee, though. He quickly composed and continued his way. Cordelia just stared sympathetically after him while Gunn fleetingly wondered why he still clutched the stake in his hand, not bothering to hide it back under his clothes.

Leni's Notes:

I don't know if I'll ever finish this story. I'd LOVE to, but the muse left and haven't been seen in months. I'm sorry. But I had these three chapters in LJ and I noticed they weren't on so I thought I'd post everything.