Title: Another Day on the Road

Summary: It certainly took a long time for the Dragon Knights to get back from recovering Nadil's head. Or maybe not so long, considering all the side trips, demon fights, and treasure hunts the group went on. A missing tale from the road, where Rath fights, Thatz whines, and Rune wonders why he's doing this in the first place.

Notes: Wow. It's been awhile since I've written for this story. And, I gotta be honest... this is spur-of-the-moment kind of story. Not just in the sense of "Oh, random idea!", but also in the sense of, "Hey, I have an hour, how 'bout I write a chapter for my Dragon Knights story?" So. Yeah. I really have no clue where this is going. Feel free to suggest stuff. It might get me to write more. (As it is, it's a procrastination tool. Very helpful.) Mm, but I still love Rune. Even if he is a Prude.

And why the random Alfeegi and Kai-Stern? ...Why not?

Warnings: Lost!Rath, Prude!Rune, Dirty!Thatz, Ranting!Alfeegi and Woe-Is-Kai-Stern.

Disclaimer: God, I would be the worst author EVER. X.x;

Another Day on the Road

Rath was lost.

It was really kind of embarassing, actually. He even had a map, and for all he knew, he could be in the Haunted Swamp Lands of Quam (though Rath was fairly sure that, even if there was such a place, he was not anywhere near there. Hopefully.) But as it was, Rath had been wandering around for about an hour after being attacked -- if you could call it that -- by a tentacle demon and loosing Rune and Thatz.

Which got him started on his two partners, and how they always managed to get themselves lost, and really, would it be so hard to just stick together? But Rath didn't mind especially: he knew it wasn't necessarily Rune and Thatz's fault they kept getting themselves lost, and besides, everyone knew demons were more prone to attack a single person than a group. Really, they were doing him a favor by disappearing.

But it was still kind of annoying. Thatz had the food, and Rune had the money.

All Rath had was a map.

A map that he couldn't read. Not because he couldn't read, but because it was a demon map, and therefore, made no sense at all. Or maybe it was the fact that Rath didn't know where he was to begin with, therefore rendering a map completely useless. (How would he know which way to go anyway?)

So Rath was lost. And he figured that he would continue staying lost until he found a town, or at least until Rune showed up to yell at him about getting lost -- it wasn't his fault, this time; Rune and Thatz were the ones who disappeared when that tentacle demon slithered away into the forest. Rath had fallen into a natural crevice of some sort, and when he had emerged, Thatz, Rune, and Mr. Tentacle-Demon were all gone.

Rath frowned. Now he was lost and annoyed.

He pulled out the map-that-was-no-use again. Draqueen, it said, was to the south. Or to the north. Or to the east, or the west, or hell, straight up in the sky. Rath didn't know. Being able to follow a map required that one knew where one was in the first place, which was really stupid, when Rath thought about it. Why would you even need a map if you knew where you were?

All this thinking was really getting him nowhere.

"And what is a single dragon doing in a Demon forest?" a voice whispered from above him.

Rath jerked, startled out of his map-studying. He glanced up.

Crouched on a tree branch was a fanged, brown-furred creature about half the size of Rath. Its skin was stretched tight over its snout, which was tilted awkwardly downwards, and its eyes were a luminescent blue-green. It was currently watching Rath with a mixture of curiousity and hunger.

Rath smiled.

"Wow, my day just got better," he murmured, half to himself, as he looked up at the creature above him. Its horned tail curled dangerously around the tree branch. Shoving the map into his pocket, Rath asked, "So, what's your name, demon?"

"....." The demon's eye narrowed as it regarded Rath; clearly, none of its prey had ever asked such a blantant question.

"Well, I'm Rath," continued Rath, cheerfully ignoring the awkward silence eminating from the demon in question. "Just curious, d'ya know how to get to Draqueen? I'm kind of lost."

"......." The demon stared some more, clearly at a loss, before regaining its composture somewhat. It hissed at Rath, "You are a foolish dragon! I'll kill you right now!"

"That's nice," Rath replied conversationally, leaning against a tree. "Could you tell me where Draqueen is first?"

The demon, simpleminded at the best of times and having only paused in its attack out of sheer confusion, lunged at Rath. The Fire Dragon Knight, who had been expecting this with a cheeky smile, dodged skillfully, and launched himself into the fight. It was a short fight, in which a "thump!" a "smash!" and a rather disturbing sounding "CR-RACK!" echoed through the dark forest.

Two minutes later, Rath was back to studying the map in a much better mood, while a bloody and misshapen form lay on the ground behind him.

It took him all of thirty seconds to realize something, and feel incredibly dumb for having not thought of it earlier.

"...why didn't I just let Fire out and have him fly and see where we were?" he asked himself, rolling his eyes. "How stupid."

Meanwhile, back with the wannabe kidnappers...

"I told you, we should leave one outside to taunt Illusar to come!"

"If he's close enough to SEE one of them, he probably already knows they're HERE, stupid!"

"Seeing one will incite his rage!"

"Who wants that?!"

"It'll get him here quicker!"

"No! It! Won't!"

The argument had gone on for a little over fifteen minutes now, by Rune's count, and after about the first minute, it all began sounding the same. Mican -- the human male who liked Rune's looks (thatsickpervert) -- would suggest something to get Rath here faster (so they could... kidnap him too? Kill him? Play freeze tag? Rune wasn't sure on their purpose, exactly.) Then Erinatsu -- the demon chick -- would denounce him, generally in a very annoyed manner. And it would continue like that.

Over. And over. And over again.

"So," Thatz murmured quietly as he picked up his pack, "How long 'til you suppose they stop?"

"I'm not sure if they even will," replied Rune.

The two Dragon Knights were standing at the mouth of the cave, both untied, packed, cleaned of mud and prepared to leave the dismal, smelly cavern. And they would have left already, except that neither was used to having such a lax guard. It was disconcerting.

"This is pathetic," Thatz muttered, rolling his eyes.

"I know," Rune agreed. "Rath could do a better job guarding us than these guys could. In a forest full of demons, no less."

"Well, yes, that," said Thatz, "but I was talking about the sexual tension. Seriously, they should just have sex and be done with it."

There was a long, awkward silence before Thatz realized that Rune was gaping at him, looking startled and somewhat disgusted. Thatz pulled a face.

"What?" he asked. "Look, just because that Mican guy was all gay with you, doesn't mean that he's--"

"Stop right there."

"What? I was just saying, it's not like the demon chick is--"

"Thatz, stop talking."

"I mean, they should just get to fuc--"

"STOP."

"Geez, Rune, you know I'm right."

"Let's go find Rath."

"Fine, fine, let's go..."

And so they left the cave with the sounds of shouting echoing on the walls behind them. It was still fairly light outside -- by Rune's calculations, they hadn't been in the cave more than an hour, at most --, and Rune could almost recognize a few of the landmarks. Even without the map -- or Rath -- it wouldn't be too hard to get back on track. The two Dragon Knights turned right and began the long walk home.

".....you're a prudish Elf, you know that?"

"Shut up, Thatz."

Alfeegi was not in a pleasant mood.

Of course, those who knew Alfeegi might debate that the man was never really in a pleasant mood. "Tolerable" was the word most often used when describing Alfeegi in a mood that wasn't scary or angry or maniacal. And even then -- he was still a little bit maniacal. (It was debated around the castle that it was an inherent familial condition. But never in Alfeegi's earshot.)

But.

Alfeegi was not in a pleasant mood, and Kai-Stern was the one having to listen to it all.

"They haven't returned YET, Kai-stern!" Alfeegi was ranting as Kai-Stern leaned back in his chair, trying his hardest not to yawn. "They went out to retrieve Nadil's head over a month ago -- a MONTH -- and still haven't come back! Really, it should not take three trained Dragon Knights over a month to retrieve one object!"

Kai-Stern fought back a yawn by swallowing quickly, nodding as if agreeing with the ranting officer. It wasn't as though he wasn't interested in the subject -- Kai-Stern was just as worried about the three Knights as anyone --, but Alfeegi had a talent for turning five minute discussions into three hour long rant sessions, and Kai-Stern was growing weary of the topic.

"Well?" Alfeegi asked, raising an eyebrow at his bespeckled friend. Kai-Stern abruptly realized that he wanted an answer.

"Well...," Kai-Stern fumbled, grasping for a response. "Think of who we're talking about, Alfeegi. I mean, Rune is perfectly responsible, but he DOES have Thatz and Rath with him. You and I both know how much of a handful Rath can be at times. And Thatz is... well.... Thatz."

"I still think we should send someone out to find them."

"Why don't you talk to the Dragon Lord about that, then?"

"The Lord is MUCH too busy to deal with such trivial matters at this time," Alfeegi countered, bristling. "This is a simple disciplanary action -- the Dragon Knights need to learn how to be punctual."

"Oh," Kai-Stern said, realizing that nothing was actually going to be done about the situation, and that Alfeegi was just ranting again. "I see."

"Rath alone is hard enough to deal with, much less without Thatz thrown along in there to excerbate the problem! Really, the two of them shouldn't be left to their own devices..."

Alfeegi said more, but Kai-Stern had stopped paying attention again. If he remembered correctly, he had already heard the "Thatz is a bad influence on Rath" rant about two hours ago, which -- if memory served -- was usually followed by the "Rath needs proper guidence" rant and the "Why don't they follow Rune's example?" rant. Strictly speaking, as long as he nodded every so often and gave vaguely agreeing sounds, Kai-Stern was safe to daydream for oh, at least an hour or so.

Well.

At least he didn't have anything better to do today.

Kai-Stern tried not to yawn.