o.o You know what? You guys have officially made my brain decide to make this fanfic long. How do you guys make my one-shots explode into stories? (laughs) I'm not complaining; I love reading all of your reviews. So far, I'm planning achapter for the car, the toaster, the lawnmower, and the vacuum cleaner. And the VCR...(coughs)

As always, thanks for the reviews!

Chapter was edited by Itaki, the beta-beta.

Disclaimer: Be thankful that I don't own Hellsing after what you've just read.

After bribing, the installing of a parental block, the allowance of a rampage in London, and even a visit to a very bewildered Catholic priest, Alucard wasn't scared of his computer anymore.

Of course, he still couldn't look Walter in the eye, but that was another thing entirely.

This event, though, didn't mean that his punishment still wasn't in effect. Alucard still couldn't leave his room, but now he felt safer with the parental block installed on his computer. Plus, he was starting to get the hang of the machine; It had only been a matter of time before it bended to his will.

He was just suffering random sites that he didn't exactly understand when all of a sudden, another window popped up. Alucard blinked, clicking on it. In big, bold letters, it read: "SHOOT THE ALIEN AND WIN A PRIZE!"

"..A prize?" He said aloud, curious. Walter hadn't told him that the computer would give him prizes! And that he could shoot things! Eagerly, he pulled out his Jackal and was about to shoot when he noticed some instructions near the bottom of the window: "Aim your cursor on it and click!"

The vampire did so, nearly squealing with delight as the alien exploded in a green, gory mess. Then, he actually did when yet another pop-up popped up! This time, though, he had to shoot some guy named Bill. Which he happily did, and again, more pop-ups.

Alucard only thought it fair to kill more cyber objects, which he proceeded to do, cackling.

Three hours later, Alucard had sucessfully killed over 500 aliens, rabbits, monkeys, and various political figures with guns, rubberbands, toilet plungers, and just about everything else. And now he was very bored. And his finger hurt. Yawning, he moved the cursor and clicked on the little x.

Nothing happened.

Alucard stared at the screen and tried it again.

There was a tiny beep, and suddenly, the computer screen started shaking strangely. The pop-ups started to become distorted as the computer made some sounds that Alucard KNEW were not good.

"Uh oh..."

Seras was reading a book peacefully when all of a sudden Alucard's head popped up between the pages. "POLICE GIRL!" He shouted, and she screamed from suprise, closing the book instantly. It took her a moment to register what she just did and quickly opened it.

"Sorry, master, you scared me!" She apologized as Alucard glared at her. "...What is it?"

"The uh...The computer..." He mumbled, looking around. "..."

She narrowed her eyes. "Master...What did you do?"

"MASTER."

"I swear, I didn't mean to do it!"

"Do what?"

"It was all the alien's fault! It made me do it!"

Before she could reply, there was a small tremor. Seras grabbed Alucard by the hair, much to his protest, and ran towards in room to see his computer catch on fire. "MASTER! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

The elder vampire stared at the fire, sweatdropping. "I onlyclicked on some 'Win free stuff' ads on it! I didn't shoot it when a blue screen that said 'Error' popped up!"

"There's...a... BULLET HOLE IN THE MONITOR!"

Alucard contemplated this. "...The judas priest did it."

This time, the computer exploded much like the microwae before it, and with much more sparks. And to make matters worse, the lights in the Hellsing mansion flickered and went out. There was complete darkness except for a pair of red eyes, one looking very angry.

"...Master..." Seras said quietly, her eye twitching slightly.

"...Yes?"

"...You're an idiot..."

Integra couldn't see straight. All she could see was red. And it wasn't because of the vampire sitting in front of her, looking uncomfortable. "You..." She snarled, shaking so badly that she couldn't light the much needed cigar. "Arethe biggest...idiot...I have ever...ever...ever...had the misfortune of dealing with..."

"...I didn't MEAN to shoot the computer..." He mumbled, wishing Seras was with him. But she refused to even look at him. She couldn't get over the fact that he had wrecked the equivalent of half an electronics store. "But it was...acting likea freak...It could have gone and sucked your blood..."

Integra rubbed her temples, wanting alcohol. "Alucard...I hate to do this to you..." She said tiredly as Walter walked in, grinning. The vampire stared at the butler with large eyes as he pulled up a leash. "But you've left me no choice..."

"No...Please, Master, no! I'll stay in my room! I'll be good! I won't back talk you or anything!" He pleaded, running to the other side of the room and plastered himself against the wall as the butler came closer, now revealing a white collar.

"It's too late for that, Alucard." She had to grin as Walter laughed at the cowering vampire. "You're getting a flea bath."

o.o I ran out of punishments for Alucard. And getting a flea bath has GOT to be degrading! (Think of what Integra is implying!) Anyways, you know the drill. Sorry this was late, I haven't had a very good week. For those of you who like it, "MatchMaker" will most likely not be updated until next week. Sorry, but this week is NOT a good one for me.

Adios!