Monkhood Chronicles

Prophecies of the One-Day-To-Be Girl Farm

Summary: Seriously. I am positively sure that you have wondered at least once during the time of reading Inuyasha fanfics what Miroku was doing before he met up with the Inu-gang. I know they did show a bit of a something of how he gets along by himself, but you never REALLY know what he was up to. So here you go. Read and enjoy.

"But Father…" whined a small black-haired boy with a tiny ponytail. "I do NOT want to become a monk! Why do I have to become a monk?" The boy's father looked down at his son.

"Miroku, why don't you want to become a monk? What else can you do?" The young boy brought both hands behind his head with his elbows pointing upwards. He grinned sheepishly, but proudly.

"I want to get married. Even better! I want to be surrounded by girls ALL the time! Maybe I can start a farm and stock up on pretty girls there and be surrounded by pretty and beautiful girls EVERY day, EVERY minute, EVERY second, maybe even EVERY night… "

His father's jaw dropped, but quickly closed again. He brought a gloved hand to his temples and tried to massage some sort of idea into his head to explain to his young, but perverted, future-planning son. 'Well, I know definitely that my actions have certainly rubbed off on him… but a GIRL FARM!' he looked at his son wearily. 'WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT SOONER! No. No. No. No. I can't do that…' Miroku's head tilted to the side.

"Father? What is your opinion? It's a great idea is it not? Maybe I should get a partner to help me; it's got to be another handsome and good-looking boy like me." Miroku flashed a smile with his two front teeth missing. His father sighed and squatted before his young boy. He raised his right hand up and used his left hand to point at the glove that covered his right hand.

'You remember what I told you about the Wind Tunnel, my curse… our curse, do you not?" The little boy's face grew stern as he noted the raised hand and nodded his head up and down.

"You have to become a monk so you can train to destroy the one that gave our family line this curse and free all your descendants from it." Miroku's head hung down in defeat. Then, remembering something that his father just said, his head sprung back up

"Did you say descendants?" he said with a perverted smirk creeping across his features. His father's eyes bugged out as his jaw dropped once more. He raised a hand and whapped himself on his forehead. Shaking his head, he reached out, took his son's left hand in his right, and started down the pathway towards the base of some mountains.

"Come now, Miroku. You're going to be late to prophecy training." He smiled as he heard the boy groan from behind him.

11 years later (A/N: Miroku's 16 now, and yes he was just 5 when he had his Girl Farm dream)

"Come on now, no need to push. You'll all get your chance to have your future prophesied." A handsome young man with jet black hair tied into a small ponytail at the base of his neck sat on a cushion inside a small hut with a long line of people lined up outside. The line consisted of mostly women but it also had a few young men. The juvenile villagers all stood and chatter incoherently amongst themselves about the traveling monk that had just arrived in their village the night before. Most of the women talked of how handsome the young monk was rumored to be, while the young men just wanted to meet someone from outside their village and get some information about their futures.

"NEXT!" a young village girl stepped out of the bamboo-screened doorway of the hut blushing. She gave a quick and embarrassed glance around at the dozens of eyes that turned onto her then started to make her way home. Another young village girl grabbed her arm as she went by and demanded, "What did he say?"

The girl's sheepish eyes turned up toward the slightly taller girl who grabbed her arm then looked away and stammered, "Ah… ahh… he said… he said that… ah…" the second girl gave her arm a shake and the girl's eyes flew around to the dozens of young faces that were facing her. "He said that I can't tell anyone… or else my fate will be changed and then he won't be able to prophesize it again…" With that, she twisted her arm out of the other girl's loosened grip and hurried away.

"I said NEXT!" the young man's head poked out from hut. He spotted a beautiful girl standing close to the hut and he brought out his hand and motioned for her to come in next. The girl blushed deeply, honored that the monk would choose her next so he could prophesize her future. Quickly, she made her way towards the hut and slipped in.

It was dark inside the hut, although there were several candles lit and placed in a circle along with two cushions that lay across from each other in the circle. On the cushion farther from where she stood was the monk. He was wearing dark purple and black houshi robes, and had a purple glove on his right hand with prayer beads wrapped around it. A golden staff with rings on the top lay within the reach of his left hand. As she walked over to the cushion closer to the door, she realized that he wasn't looking at her, but he was looking at her body. She blushed and became slightly agitated at the same time, and made the motion to sit down when he suddenly shot up and was behind her in less than a second. She blinked.

"Ah… aren't we suppose t--?" she questioned, but was cut off by something on her bottom. Her eyes started twitching as she turned 10 different shades of red. The monk who felt her stiffen but have no other reaction other than that (he usually got slapped right after that), started rubbing her bottom with the offending hand. Lightening shot through her mind as her hair stood on the edge. She whirled around and slapped the lecherous monk with everything she could muster.

Outside the hut, all the villagers looked around clueless. A loud whacking sound resounded throughout the village like thunder, but no one knew what made the noise. The younger villagers that stood near the hut, watched the hut closely now. They heard the whack-sound come from the hut but didn't have an explanation for it.

"Its probably part of the ritual," one of the young men suggested. The rest of the group nodded their heads in reluctant agreement and went back to their senseless chattering.

Back inside the hut, a stunned-looking houshi blankly blinked while sporting a deep red handprint on his left cheek. In front of him stood a very pissed off, yet beautiful village girl with her hand still in midair in the position after she slapped the monk. Her breathing was still a bit ragged as she glared thousands of daggers at the groper. Slowly, the monk raised his hand to his cheek. It burned like crazy.

'But then again,' as he closed his eyes, 'it was worth the pain, wasn't it?'

"Y…You… lech…" she stammered. The monk just merely opened his eyes and grinned.

"My name is Miroku and I'm terribly sorry, my beautiful Lady. Please forgive me. You see, in order to uhm… prophesize your future, er… I need to uhh, get in touch with eh… you." The village girl just eyed him, unsure whether to accept his story.

"I thought that for prophesizing, you're to look at PALMS." She held up her hands, palm facing towards the monk. He looked at them blushing.

"Ah, that is true, my lady… but you see… you're so beautiful, I could not resist going for something more…" he trailed off at the blushing glare she gave him. He waved her off and made his way back to his cushion. He abruptly sat down and waited for the beautiful figure to sit down across him. Making himself more comfortable, he started chanting nonsensical words and closed his eyes as the girl across from him watched with raised eyebrows.

Flashback

"Uhhhhh… it says in the tea leaves that you're going to become a… a… a FARMER!" A younger version of the lecherous monk sat on a large piece of fabric, laid out in a field. Sitting behind him was an old man with beard curling some ways outward as if it was a tangled bush. Across from him was a richly dressed boy about the age of 12, staring blankly at the monk-in-training in front of him. The old man, who sat behind the so-called prophesier, groaned then whapped the monk over the head.

"Miroku! You insolent fool! This is a rich lord's son! He is NOT going to become a lowly FARMER!" he whispered harshly in the young monk's ear. He bowed towards the older boy, "I am terribly sorry, my lord. The tea leaves indicate that you will live a long and healthy life with a beautiful woman. You will also obtain large amounts of land from your union." The lord's son smirked and nodded in acknowledgement. Then, the richly dressed boy rose and left the student monk and the instructor.

As soon as the boy was out of sight, the old instructor whirled on his apprentice.

"You fool! How many times must I tell you!" he old man's anger slightly faltered and he sighed. "Oh well, one more week with you then you'll be off to finish your exorcism training…" he huffed and walked off the hill leaving the confused boy behind.

End Flashback

Miroku opened his eyes, "Hold out your hands." The pretty villager held her hands out in front of herself and he took them in his own.

"Hmmm… very, very interesting…" he murmured, examining her upturned hands. "Very interesting…"

"What is?" she questioned.

"Well," he began his reply and brought her hands together with his hands cupping them. He looked directly into her eyes with his dark brown ones.

"I prophesize that you will honor me by bearing my child!" He beamed. The village girl, on the other hand, looked horrified and gave him a second resounding slap, this time on his right cheek. Then, she jumped up and stormed out of the hut, leaving the houshi with two red handprints on both sides of his face. (A/N: the first one was really hard so it hasn't faded away yet XD)

Suddenly, a young man came bounding into the hut and walked straight up to the monk who was quickly gathering his things. He never was popular at any village after he pulled his infamous, perverted prophecy on a beautiful, but unsuspecting girl. Turning around to glance at who entered the dark hut, he noticed the teen was wearing a dark blue kimono with a long, white strip of cloth tied around his forehead and under some of his light, but short, black hair. He was tall and lean, and looked very handsome and fit. (A/N: if that's not a good description, then just think of Arima from Kare Kano when he's about to compete in the races) Before the he could say a thing, Miroku was on one knee in front of the boy, grasping onto his hand.

"For many years I have searched for one such as you!" The boy just gaped down at the monk with eyes twitching. Miroku continued.

"Such a handsome and attractive young man is EXACTLY what I need! Will you consider becoming my… " the boy's eyes widened in horror. "…my partner on my future Miroku's Girl Farm?" the standing boy blinked with eyes that were still widened with horror. Shaking his head to get out of his terrified trance, he pushed the proposing monk away from him.

"You dirty, sick houshi! I'll make you pay for what you said… THAT WAS MY SISTER!" he angrily yelled as he held a fist up. The monk look slightly surprised.

"Oh! That's a great idea! You should invite all your female relatives to go to the farm! Are ALL your sisters as beautiful as that one? Do they all have nice bu--" The village boy, who had veins popping out of his forehead, finally snapped.

"I'LL KILL YOUU!" with that, he lounged for the hentai houshi. The monk, however, just sidestepped out of the way and slipped out of the hut. Just as he appeared on the other side, he was met with several dozen angry eyes, not to mention all the new sets of angry MALE eyes. Miroku gulped and waved at the crowd. Out of the crowd came that same girl that he had prophesized her bearing his child. She pointed at him.

"HE'S THE ONE!"

The whole crowd started chasing after the monk, but he was quicker than they were and he ran faster than ever before (and even faster than any other time when he was with the Inu-tachi, whom he met 2 years later.) He sped his way to the edge of the village and continued to run until he was a good 10 miles away from the village and its threatening villagers. Exhausted, he collapsed on the forest floor and tried to calm his heart.

'Sad,' he thought as he reflected upon the events of that day, 'She would have produced such a beautiful child and her brother would have been the perfect partner for my Farm…' The tired houshi sighed and rose again, and started towards the next unsuspecting village with a happy, lecherous smile playing upon his lips.

Tell me what ya think…

Btw, I don't own the Miroku Girl Farm idea, no matter how much I wish I did… its derived from Masami Tsuda's Kare Kano (aka: His and Her Circumstances) it's a great manga! Read it sometime! Or actually, I only liked the first volume...

Well, hope yall liked! Review to tell me!