Seriously-Sorry it took so long to update. Mary-Sues scare me so much that I was scarred by my own fic.
And kinda off-subject but I wanted to thank you all so much...
You are on the favorites list of 164 members. You are on the author alert watch list of 226 members.
That really, really makes me feel good about myself when I have my down moments. Thank you all.
Now... onward with the eyesores!
Disclaimer: IF I OWNED IT NARUCHANANDSAKURAWOULDGETMARRIEDSOICOULDHAVESASUKEALLTOMYSELF!
:wince: Ouch.
A Mary-Sue Just for You
Chapter Too: Caplock and Fangirl Japanese.
So, like, the giant hamster was wrecking the village. Who cares if it was a giant rabbit last chapter, it's a giant hamster this chapter n' if you dun't like it then go back to your little world where Mary-Sue fics are tortured. Psh.
So! Where were we? Oh, yes. Fred was about to kick ass!
OK, folks. You can stop laughing now.
...No, really. Shut up.
Anywayz, the pretty sparkly chakra swirling around Fred was getting the hamster dizzy and thus she had time to prepare for her attack. Holding her hands together in the puppy seal, she concentrated then shouted, "WATERY-EYES NO JUTSU, MAKEUP!"
With some flashy light-work, sounds and impossible positions that should only be used in a shoujo manga where transformations take four to eight minutes depending on what level they're advancing to, Fred reappeared in some skimpy fishnet ninja outfit with some strange tiara on her head and platformed ninja-shoes. Who cared if there were no such thing as platformed ninja-shoes? She had them.
She pointed a gloved finger at the giant hamster that had sprouted wings at some point during the transformation. Probably the side effect of being around the glittery lights. "OMAE O KOROSU DATTEBAYO!"
Ah. Heero Yuy meets Uzumaki Naruto. Now that's a match made in heaven if I've ever seen one. Almost as good as FFX's Auron and Shino being separated at birth, but I digress.
Suddenly, from hammerspace, she whipped out a giant fan, much like Temari's, but with pretty tassles and flowers on it. Also looked like there was some scribble akeen to "I heart Gai," but we can't really tell and we don't want to assume too much because our little minds can only handle so much. We don't even want Gai to make an appearance. It's not that we don't like Gai, but really folks, Gai and a Mary-Sue in the same fiction? Hell, in the same chapter? Wait, even in the same sentence! Please, don't make me cry!
Oh, wait. I went off on another tangent again. And to think I'm failing trig. It'd help if I did my homework but that requires opening a book and you see...
Damnit, did it again.
With moves that could only be aquired by years of Dance Dance Revolution, dodging bodyguards in an attempt to snag Orlando Bloom's autograph and evading brats she was babysitting from pulling her hair, Fred advanced, swinging the fan around like there was no tomorrow.
Might have helped a bit if she had thought to open it. And by the time she did think of it, she found that not only was she facing the giant hamster that was resembling more of a unicorn now but that her fan was stuck closed.
So she began to beat the hamster with it. "TAKE THIS! AND THAT! AND THIS! AND THAT! AND THIS! AND THAT AND THIS AND THATANDTHISANDTHATAND...
You get the picture.
Anyway, she was apparently running out of chakra-which was probably because 1) she wasn't a damn ninja in the first place and 2) she used up most of it in her wonderful display of colors, sparkles, and subliminal messages involving Herbal Essenses and orgasmic, err, organic pleasure.
And just as she couldn't hold up her katana anymore... What? How did she get a katana? It morphed. Duh! Where is your Mary-Sue knowledge? Psh. Amateur. Anywayz, just as the giant hamster-turned unicorn with paws tried to squish her flat there was a cry of "CHIDORI!" and the hamster found that it was missing a few legs. And then it poofed! And it was gone.
Fred looked up to see the symbol of the Uchiha clan on his back. He turned around and looked at her, sharingan eyes gleaming. He smirked at her.
Then he did what we could only imagine in depths of our most horrid nightmares...
He gave the Gai grin and thumbs up. Accompanied by the signature "ping!" of his grin as well as the background of the waves splashing on the rocks behind him.
Screams were heard in the distance. Whether they were squeals of joy from Gai and Lee or squeals of horror from the other genin, we're not sure. But either way, it wasn't a good thing. (AN: oh! hey! I just thought of something! lolz! don't u think its wierd naruto is the same age as sasuke and sakura altho he failed 2 times? i just thought of that! lolz!)
Hehe, sorry. Let's get back to teh story!
Sasuke sashayed up to Fred, and yes, we mean sashayed. As in, swinging his hips in a manner that only an Uchiha could do. Must have copied it with the sharigan.
"WAH! SUGOI! KAWAII KAWAII! SASUKE-CHAN IS HERE!"
It was then that Sasuke was knocked back to reality and we were never happier to see himself back to normal than right now. Immediately he went on defense, staring at her. Damnit! Would Orochimaru quit sending these horrible genjutsu attacks on him? I mean, Itachi murdering his clan was bad enough, and Kakashi molesting him was even worse but now THIS? Sasuke wanted to cry.
He flipped his hands through the seals and blew fire from his mouth with the "Art of the Phoenix Flower: The Touch-Me-Not!".
And as he did, the authoress cried and rocked back and forth in the corner, cursing the day that Viz dared to release the Naruto manga in America with such horrid translations. She still suffers nightmares of "Me and My Shadow".
Anyway, as much as we were begging Sasuke to toast the horrid thing in front of him, somehow, magically, it bounced off of her and instead decided to barbeque the legs of the hamster-rabbit-unicorn thing that had been left behind.
After the smoke died down, Sasuke and Fred stared at the legs in front of them.
"I hear hamster tastes like chicken."
"Really? I hear unicorn tastes like ramen."
And there was an orange and blue blur as Sasuke and Fred were tossed into the air. After they landed, managed to untangle themselves from the compromising and physically impossible position they were in, they saw that the legs were gone.
And somewhere in Konoha, someone with a very childish voice was screaming "IT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE RAMEN!"
Tsuzukukuerufu...
:D :D :D :D :D :D
AN: I knew being half awake was good for something. I'm not even going to bother to proofread because it'll just work better in my favor. That's what I love about this fic.
And I really do wanna cry from the horrid names the jutsus are given in the american version of Naruto. Really, Art of the Valentine? Why don't we just put Ino in Sailor Venus' outfit and let her panty-flash Shikamaru and Chouji every time she appears in a scene.
Argh.
Enjoy.
Phoe-chan