Part 20 – The Truth of a Heart
Irina was surprised when Jack lifted her gallantly off her horse and only let her go after he had made sure that she was standing securely. Then he turned and looked over the small part of the beach. It was only a bay that they had reached through a large tunnel the sea had made over the centuries when it had still been higher. The ground was covered with grass, but closer to the water it slowly turned into sand and smaller pebbles.
Irina's eyes glowed when she looked around. She strolled toward a larger tree and leaned against it in the shadow. Jack observed her for a long time until their eyes met. The expression in his eyes was tender and promising. Irina caught her breath for a moment, trying not to fall for the hidden wishes in her heart.
She dropped her eyes to the ground and away from him, hoping that he didn't notice the feelings that were battling in her chest.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
She started when she suddenly heard Jack's voice right next to her ear, and her heart seemed to skip a beat when his hands found their old place on her waist. "It's breathtaking," Irina agreed. She fought the need to turn around and do what she wanted to do most – kiss him.
If Jack weren't her enemy, she had to admit, she would be really tempted to seduce him. Not only was he wealthy, his property was also the most beautiful in England. The woman he would marry would be a really happy person, she admitted silently and with a certain wistfulness in her heart.
"You know that you have an advantage?" Jack mentioned all of a sudden, and Irina turned her head slightly in confusion.
"How is that?"
"I've told you everything about my ancestors – you've told me nothing about yours." He felt her stiffen in his arms.
"Why do you want to know about my family so desperately?" She tried to evade him – again – but this time Jack was unwilling to give in.
"I am interested in you. We've been together for almost four weeks, yet I don't know any more about you than I did the day we met. I like mysterious women Irina, but at some point I need to know more." Although spoken urgently, his voice was full of tenderness, and Irina felt her heart grow heavier. "I respect you, Irina. You should know that by now – and then you should also know that I would never use any information against you. I am shielding you from the royal law. I am your friend. Do you still not trust me?"
"I... I do trust you." Her voice could barely be heard. "I trust you more than I probably should." She fell into a long silence while she weighed the advantages and disadvantages of telling him the story. If he didn't learn the truth from her, she was sure he would sooner or later find another way. "My mother was from Russia," she eventually started, "she was from a small noble family there. My father met her when he was out of the country, and they fell in love. Three weeks afterwards, they were married against the will of her parents. My mother went with my father back to England and nine months later, Katya was born."
"That sounds as if your mother was very lonely here."
"No, she had my father. He taught her the English language. Obviously my mother's father had thought that her love for my father was only a passion and would merely end up being an affair. He hadn't expected the marriage to last that long. My mother wrote a letter to her parents every year, and finally they were convinced that she had not harmed the family's honor. After I was born, she received letters from her family that included invitations – yet somehow, she never had the time to meet her family again, before she was killed." Irina paused and took a deep breath.
"What happened?" Jack asked softly.
"I don't remember much of that day. I know that it was very sunny, and I can still remember that Katya and I drove mother crazy the whole time. The kitchen servants had baked strawberry cake all day, and Katya and I were always trying to steal some. In the end, my father smuggled a whole cake out for us, and the three of us ate it in the garden. Mother was furious when she found out." Irina smiled at the faint memory that came up in her mind, but then her expression darkened when she went on. "Then, in the night I was suddenly awakened by the sound of horses and men yelling outside the house. My mother came running into our room, and dragged Katya and me out of our beds. I didn't understand what was happening back then, but I saw the tears in her eyes, and they frightened me. She ordered me and Katya to run away as fast as we could and hide somewhere in the woods before they could find us. Katya immediately understood what was going on. I don't know, maybe I was too young or too stubborn to understand the urgency and danger that was lying in her order. However, I begged her to come with us or at least send father with us. When she refused, I held onto her legs and yelled at her that I wouldn't go either. It was the first time in my life that she slapped me. I was so shocked, I couldn't even cry. It wasn't so much that she had been violent with me, but the fear that was present in her eyes…not fear for her own life, but fear for mine.
She bent down and gave me her necklace. She promised me that she would come after us but that I had to go now, and when we met in the woods, I should return the necklace to her.
Katya dragged me across the floor and out of the backdoor. We just ran as fast as we could – still I could hear the screams... my mother was screaming for help and I think deep inside I knew that I would never see her again.
I don't know how long we hid in the woods, it seemed like days to me. Sometime in the night I ran away from Katya, back to the house. The doors were standing open, most of the wood was shattered and the windows were broken. I found my mother in the kitchen, dead.
Those bastards of the queen had raped her before they killed her. My father was gone. I stayed there with my mother until Maggie found me – Maggie, who later became our maid. My father had been arrested, but managed to escape and returned to us. He swore to take revenge for my mother's death and collaborated with the rebels he had been fighting up to then.
That's why he raised my sisters and me into that world. He wanted us to be able to defend ourselves, not be helpless victims like my mother was. And most of all he wanted us to never depend on people, so we would never be betrayed."
Jack didn't know what to say, so immense was his shock. Therefore he took Irina's hand in his and kissed her palm deeply, pressing her closer against him.
"The queen ordered the raid on your house?" he asked carefully after some time, and Irina nodded.
"Yes, the men were soldiers of the queen. Some time afterwards, I heard my father talk about the evening to one of his rebel friends. He never ever talked about it to us again, but that night, one of my father's friends came to us, and they talked. I couldn't resist staying behind the door and listening. Obviously the soldiers had a letter of the queen that allowed them to use every possible means to reveal that my father was involved with the terrorists. The queen had given them carte blanche to torture my mother in order to make my father confess – which he eventually did in order to stop them from hurting my mother. But instead they raped and killed her in front of his eyes. That is how kind and just your queen is."
"It is not," Jack corrected softly. "The queen would never tolerate methods like that. And neither would the men who lead the soldiers."
Irina spun around, her eyes filled with tears and now sparkling with fury. "I have been there, Jack! And I have seen the man who led the soldiers, and I will never forget his face again. Everything that happened that night is blurred and has become like a shadow in my head – but his face is still so vivid and clear, as if it had been yesterday! He was wearing the uniform, and he had the letter! How should that be possible if he was not in the counsel of the queen? Do you know what your soldiers are doing at the moment?"
Jack pulled her against him softly. "I apologize. I did not mean to question what you told me. I just tried to make clear that there was possibly a soldier acting against the queen's orders. Rape or murder of women is never included as means in those letters. Whoever led that group of soldiers acted against the law, even if your father was suspected."
"My father was not involved with the terrorists then! He was in the counsel of the queen, just like you are now. He was fighting the smugglers!" Irina's voice was trembling, and Jack looked at her, slowly understanding what her words meant.
"He was a counselor?" That didn't make sense, but at least it was a reason why he hadn't been able to find information about Irina's family. Affairs that concerned the members of the royal counsel were always treated highly confidentially. In most cases, only the queen knew the real circumstances. "Irina, what happened that night was against the law, your father knew that. He should have gone to the queen, instead of collaborating with terrorists."
"Would you seek help from the woman who just had your wife killed and had you arrested?"
Jack had to admit that he wouldn't. Still, the happenings didn't make sense to him. "When your father was an active participant in the combat against the terrorists, why would he be raided at night? Even more, why would his family be brought into the affair? There has never been a case where something like that happened." His eyes met Irina's, and he took her hands into his. "Will you allow me to do some research about the background of the raid?"
"Why?" Irina asked, loosening from him. Her voice was filled with anger. "Why do you want to revive the past?"
"Irina, I am just thinking that maybe we are both wrong in our conclusions. Maybe I am wrong, and they were men of the queen – and you are wrong, because the queen didn't sanction it. If that is the case, then the murder of your mother and the robbery of your family was a crime that must not be tolerated. The people who are responsible have to pay for that."
"Jack..." Irina started desperately, not sure whether to thank him for his sympathy or yell at him for his stubbornness.
"Irina, I don't want to wake ghosts. I just want to find out the truth for you – and for your mother. Didn't your father want the responsible persons to pay? I promise you, it will be a discreet investigation. I will counsel the queen personally – nobody is ever going to know."
"No, Jack! NO! You are not going to talk to that... woman about this!"
"Irina..."
"Jack, what makes you so sure that she wasn't behind this! You just assume that she isn't responsible due to your loyalty to your kingdom, but what if you are wrong. Then you blow my cover, and I will be executed as a traitor. If you plan to go to the queen, tell me now, because then I am going to run away. You promised to be my friend! I trusted you, you damned bastard... I will never..."
"Shhh..." Jack stopped her raging outburst by closing her mouth with his in a deep, tender kiss. "Please calm down. If you don't want me to, I won't talk to the queen." He then whispered against her lips.
"Swear to god." Irina replied, laying her hands on his cheeks.
"I swear." He sealed his promise with a series of passionate kisses. For another moment, they were lost in the closeness of each other, and for a split second Jack wondered how their future should look. Given the present circumstances, they could under no circumstances be together. He was committing a crime by hiding the circumstances under which they had met – not to mention his being married to her. Their only chance might be if she went to the queen and begged for a pardon agreement. Given her past and the background of her experiences, the sentence would be a mild one. The queen would take away their property and title, but most likely not even send them to prison. Jack was sure though, that he would never be able to convince Irina or one of her sisters to go to the queen – and the worst was, that he could understand her reasons. Now he could understand why she had gone to the rebels, and he knew that he would have probably acted the same.
When Irina loosened from his body after some time, she looked flushed, and Jack himself felt out of breath. She took some steps backward, not losing Jack with her eyes, before she turned around and hurried towards the water.
"Irina, what are you doing?" Jack was confused when he saw that she opened her dress and dropped it to the sand.
"I need a swim to free my head." Words said, she climbed onto a rock and dove into the water headfirst. For a moment, he was seriously scared that she had hurt herself or planned to drown herself, but when she resurfaced, he had to admit that she was an excellent swimmer. Actually, this was a fact that shouldn't have surprised him. A woman that could light a wooden stick on a stone wall could most likely swim like a fish, he mused.
Shaking his head, he started to pull off his own clothes, until he was only wearing his underpants. He liked the thought of swimming and besides, if anything happened to Irina, he was closer to her if in the water. Just as Irina had done before, he headed into the water. He dove the way towards Irina and surfaced right in front of her.
She gave a short laugh in shock. "Jack!"
"Be careful, the ground is very uneven and the rocks under water are vicious and sharp."
"For a soldier, you have a very low tolerance of excitement and adventure." Irina teased him and splashed a little wave of water towards him. Jack smiled.
"Oh, I am not worried for myself. I am an excellent swimmer. But you are wearing a dress! How you are able to swim in that at all is a puzzle to me." He replied amused and splashed water back at her.
"What do you suggest? Swimming without it?" Irina asked laughing. The waves they used against each other getting gradually higher.
Jack laughed under his breath, trying to evade the water she was hitting into his face. "I wouldn't mind..." he clarified and another wave of water hit him. Finally, he succeeded in grabbing Irina's wrists and pulled her against his chest. "Careful, milady. Usually I don't fight with women, but if I am tempted I might get a little rough..."
Irina lifted her head until their lips almost brushed. Only a hair-breadth of distance was left between them. "I like you getting rough..." she breathed seductively, noticing his gasp at her teasing. But before he could react, she freed herself in a clever move, swimming like a fish towards the beach.
When she had brought ten meters distance between them, she turned and cocked her head, trying to find balance on the uneven ground.
"What, are you giving up against a woman?" she asked in disbelief, and Jack's eyes sparkled when he took her challenge.
"I was just giving you an advantage. I didn't want to win by unfair rules."
"I assure you, your consideration is totally inappropriate. I should probably be the one who gives you an advantage."
"The words of a true lady," Jack teased her.
"You don't believe me?" Irina asked amused, enjoying their little challenge.
"Prove yourself." Jack said, slowly reducing the distance between them. "We'll swim out until we are fifty meters from the beach. I will give you five meters advantage, and if I manage to catch you before you reach the sand, I win. Are you on?"
Irina nodded. "Of course. But don't think I would make it easy for you."
"I never expected that, but you better not expect that I will make it easy for you, either."
"I would feel insulted if you did." She followed Jack slowly out, until they were in deeper water. When Jack stopped, Irina started to tremble from the coolness of the water. Closer to the beach, where the water was two meters deep at the most, she hadn't felt the icy coolness as she did now.
"Are you sure you want to do that?" Jack asked once again. He didn't seem affected at all by the low temperature – and if he was, he didn't let her know.
"I am okay." After she had positioned herself five meters ahead of Jack, her eyes met his in the silent question to give a signal, but Jack left that honor to her.
"I will be ready whenever you are." He said. "Just start swimming."
He didn't have to tell her twice. Irina turned around and started to swim as fast as she could towards the beach. Jack was surprised at how fast she was actually moving and allowed her to gain some distance. He knew there was no need to worry for him. Irina was an excellent swimmer. He didn't doubt that, yet her temper would be her undoing.
Irina wondered why Jack was lagging behind and was already triumphing silently, when she felt her arms getting heavier. No matter how desperately she tried, her muscles didn't obey her will, and instead of swimming faster she lost more and more power. Yet she was too proud to give up. Twenty meters left – ten meters left – when she felt the sand under her feet, she ran more than she was swimming. Her legs gave way, and she crawled the last meters in the water.
When she felt Jack's hand at her ankle, she was too exhausted to let out a frustrated cry. She just gasped for air, and let herself sink into the shallow water. Slowly, she turned onto her back, finding Jack almost immediately leaning over her.
"I am deeply impressed," he whispered at her lips. "You are an amazing swimmer."
"You don't have to be gracious," Irina said, still out of breath.
"I am not. You gave me a hard time..."
"Yet, you won."
"Only because of your strategy. You gave everything at the beginning. In cold water like this you have to save your power – keep a steady pace without giving everything at the beginning. That way you are able to swim longer." His lips were close to hers. "So tell me, what is my prize now?"
"We never talked about..." she started, but wasn't able to finish when Jack lips merged with hers, catching her hands and pinning them to the soft sand. Seductively he teased her, slowly inducing her tongue into a sensual game. After a series of wet, open-mouth kisses, he pulled back, trying to regain control over his actions, but failed. They shouldn't take it too far…after all, they were out in the open. But he didn't listen to his rational mind – he couldn't do so, not with her lips only an inch away from his.
"Tell me to stop." He murmured, his hot breath tickling her skin, and she closed her eyes.
"Don't stop." She replied against her reason. Another passionate love-making was not at all a good idea. Although she was married to Jack in front of the law, their marriage was illegitimate – both of them knew that. And if they didn't keep their hands off each other, she would soon have to worry about more than just getting an annulment. She knew if she became pregnant with Jack's child, no court in the world would annul the marriage – and a divorce was totally out of the question since it would ruin not only her own reputation, but also the one of her family.
All those reasons seemed to fade away from her mind when only one thing stood against them – Jack's body against her, his sweet kisses on her lips, his hands holding hers.
Irina's approval was enough to break the last remains of self-control that were left inside of him. His lips collided with hers, and his tongue started to explore her mouth, causing both of them to shudder. Their tongues fought a short battle for control, then she surrendered, her passionate moan lost in his mouth.
He let go of her wrists, and his hands started to roam over her body impatiently. Her fingers entangled in his hair and pulled him closer against her body. When his hand cupped her breast through her dress, she felt like she was on fire. She arched her back against him.
Her eyes were closed when she laid her head back, biting her lips at the sensational intensity of his hot body and touches, and the cool waves of the ocean were a direct contrast to that heat. His lips nibbled at her chin passionately, his shallow breath tickling her skin until she felt as if he was burning her alive.
"Oh God..." she managed to whisper when a tiny voice inside her made her realize where they were – a voice too weak to be truly acknowledged. She bent her leg and pressed it against his waist, allowing him to roll over even more, so his leg was resting between hers. Totally lost, she gasped for air when his lips closed around her nipple through the thin material of her under dress. He was driving her crazy and made her lose total control over her own actions. He couldn't get enough of her, wanted to feel all of her body against him and taste every single spot of her salty skin. Her soaked dress clung to her body and formed out every shape. His hands wandered over her waist and hips and touched the bare skin of her leg.
Suddenly a large wave of salty water breaking over them caused them to start coughing, forcing them to break contact. The coolness of the water and the shock caused by it startled them both, and they crawled fully onto the sand, both still trembling from the sensation of the other's body.
They had brought some meters distance between them when the realization dawned on them what they had just been doing.
All soaked, they just looked at each other, as if trying to understand what had just happened. Then, without paying attention to the objections in her mind, Irina crawled to Jack until she was kneeling in the sand in front of him. A few stronger waves still reached them and played around their legs when she reunited their lips, running her hands over his well-muscled, bare chest.
Slowly, she urged him backwards until he almost lost balance and had to steady himself with his hands. An almost carefree laugh escaped her lips when in the next moment he was lying completely in the sand with her crawling over him. Her hands ran along his cheeks while she held his eyes almost lovingly.
"I would consider you officially defeated," she teased. He smiled and flipped them over so he could lean over her.
"Only temporarily," he replied in the same tone, lowering his lips to hers. They almost touched, when another wave reached them and almost covered Irina's face completely. Shocked, she shrieked and sat up coughing. When their eyes met, they couldn't help but breaking out in amused laughter.
"I think the ocean is against us," Irina noted dryly.
"I agree, and that is why I suggest we move this to a safer place." And before Irina even realized what was happening, he had lifted her up into his arms and carried her back to the tree where they had dropped their clothes. On the way, he kissed her over and over again, not getting enough of her mouth. At the tree, he set her down carefully and draped his cape over the ground. Then he went to his knees in front of Irina, who was trying to bring her hair back to order. She wasn't even aware of how beautiful she looked to Jack at that moment.
Softly he pulled her hands into his and kissed them. Irina smiled, but after a while, she broke contact and moved onto the cape, never losing his eyes. Slowly, she pulled herself backwards until she was lying fully on the soft ground, then she laid back.
Jack followed her until he was covering her body with his, settling in between her legs. When she gave a soft giggling sound, Jack looked at her questioning.
"What?"
"It's just the clothes... we're all soaked and cold."
"Not for long." He promised and kissed her deeply. She sighed into his mouth and buried her hands in his hair. They lost themselves in a deep and tender kiss, for a moment forgetting everything around them.
"You know, we shouldn't do this," Irina finally murmured against Jack's lips, but didn't sound convinced of her own words at all.
"I know. But the chances that anybody will come by are very low..."
"That's not what I meant." Irina smiled when he tried to catch her lips again with his, and joined in his game by evading him – which offered him several other spots to caress her. "Our affair. Our circumstances, not to mention our state of being married, are not the best preconditions to share each other's bed as lovers." A deep moan escaped her lips, when he started to suck and lick the sensitive spot right behind her ear. Bending her knees, she allowed his body even more contact with hers.
"Don't see me as your lover then." Jack whispered and turned his attention to her earlobe now. "Make love to me as your husband. Be my wife for now."
Irina sighed and laid her head back. "That's even more dangerous..." she murmured and for a short moment their eyes met before she started to smile. "But I have always been attracted to the more dangerous ways of life."
Asking herself what she was doing right here, she turned him onto his back, straddling his lap. She knew this could end only badly. Having played with fire, she would burn now, because the day when she would have to leave Jack would soon come. And that day would be the day her heart broke. Although she already predicted the happenings, she was unable to resist Jack. She was well aware that he would be her undoing, yet she longed for his touches and wanted to be with him. Her fate was obviously inevitable.
Without hurry, she moved her lips over his chest, exploring every inch of skin she could reach. When she reached his soaked pants, she pulled them down and discarded them to the side, admiring his naked body. He allowed her to continue her exploration for a short time, then he held her.
"I am definitely at a disadvantage."
"How is that?" Irina asked amused.
"You get to see the full show, but I..." Before he had ended the sentence, she had pulled the dress over her head and discarded it just as she had his pants before. For a short moment she looked around at the beach, scanning the surroundings for observers, but when she found none, she returned her full attention to Jack.
"Better?" she asked seductively, and he could only nod in appreciation. Satisfied, she resumed her exploration of his body. While her lips moved over his neck and chin to finally meet with his mouth again, her skilled hands wandered over his abdomen and finally ran along the length of his shaft. His deep moan was silenced by her lips. She nibbled his lower lip and then moved her head down his body to where her hands where busy.
He moaned her name when he felt her hot breath on his erection. The next moment her lips were on him, the silky warmth of her mouth around him. His reason faded to black and the world started to spin in front of his eyes. Her tongue started to play around him, pushing him higher and higher towards a sweet oblivion. When he felt that he couldn't take it any longer, he pulled her away from him, his breath shallow and skin flushed.
"Stop now."
Irina moved up to his lips, in her eyes a playfully disappointed expression. "That was something I will only do for a husband and you are telling me you didn't like it?" she teased flirtatiously.
"That was not the reason, and you know that," he gasped and turned her onto her back. "You have to be more careful in what you do, if you don't want certain things to end very quickly."
"So little control? Milord, I am shocked..." She laughed, when he reacted to her teasing by starting to kiss her roughly.
"Somebody has definitely too much control over his actions..." he breathed against her mouth and moved his hands up and down her sides. "I have to change that at once." His lips closed around her nipples, starting a soft and unhurried exploration of her body. Slowly his lips found their path along her belly while he tried to calm down.
Surely Irina was a woman who knew exactly what action had what kind of effect on a man and even more, she knew how to use those actions. Jack smiled inwardly when he imagined how Lady Courtney, a woman he had once had an affair with, would have reacted in a situation like this. With the most insulted look she was capable of, she would have told him that a lady was never supposed to take action during intercourse and that a lady would never ever show her body out in the open. They had had conversations about those topics, and the lady had been determined to remain controlled and cold – even when they where in bed.
Since it had only been a love affair – which basically consisted of sexual intercourse – he had soon ended it and silently understood the husband of the lady, who had run away to Spain to marry the daughter of a renowned salesman.
Irina was so unlike the women he knew as day was unlike from night. But it was not only her passion, her willingness to explore, that he adored about her. It was her spirit, her liveliness that suddenly made him feel alive. Being thirty-five years old, he was certainly not the youngest anymore, but she seemed to change him.
"Jack..." Her breathless whimper made him smile.
"So little control, Milady?" he teased her, tickling her ear with his tongue.
She wanted to tell him that it was her nature to be impatient, but his next move stole away her breath and replaced the world in front of her eyes with a sparkling universe of stars that never seemed to end.
Slowly, he explored her core with his fingers, at first teasing her clit relentlessly. Then he moved two fingers inside her, searching for that spot that he knew brought her close to the edge.
The deep moan that escaped her lips, showed him that he had found it. Relentlessly, he continued to push her higher and higher towards heaven with his fingers while his lips licked at her neck and whispered sweet caresses against her hot and sweaty skin. It was a silent challenge between them, an ever so tender battle for control, and Jack felt that she was reluctant to let herself go completely - unwilling to admit that she couldn't control her feelings as she wanted to. Yet that was what he needed. If only for one time, he wanted to feel that the ever present barrier between them was gone, that there was not only a physical connection, but a spiritual one – that she was completely his.
"Irina..." His voice was throaty with desire, and he felt that he wouldn't be able to hold back much longer. "Come for me," he whispered into her ear, and her fingers closed almost painfully around his arm.
"Jack... wait... don't..." The rest of her sentence was lost in a desperate whimper when she laid her head back.
"Please, let go... will you do that for me?" he continued to seduce her with words and felt her grip on his hand tighten even more, uncontrolled moans escaping her lips. And then she felt the world explode – the oxygen she breathed didn't seem nearly enough to save her from the unconsciousness when the orgasm waved over her so intensely that every wall she had so properly built around her seemed to fall down in pieces.
Jack felt her shiver in his arms when she shattered, giving every ounce of her soul to him.
"I love you..." he whispered into her ear, over and over again. The three words – although their meaning seemed the most impossible and forbidden one – made her feel weak and set her free at the same time. Never ever had she heard more beautiful words.
"I love you..." she breathed against his neck, even before she was able to keep herself from saying them. "Oh god... Jack, I love you so much."
A silent tear ran down her cheek when she realized that she had never spoken truer words – that this was probably the only truth that mattered and that to understand she had lived. For the first time in her life she felt complete – a completion in which every shadow and problem that was lying between them, became a shining light of hope that guided their way.
Slowly, Irina opened her eyes, her breath still shallow. She lifted her head a little and met Jack's lips in a soft, almost insecure kiss. Making sure that she was lying comfortably, he moved his body between her legs. Their eyes were locked when he entered her deeply.
She felt desire return immediately and pulled his body closer until his skin was burning on hers, their heartbeats becoming one.
"Jack..." she breathed against his cheek, encouraging him to move faster. He reunited his lips with hers as his pace increased. Then his lips moved over her chin and then over her cheeks, tasting the salt of her tears. He kissed them away, tenderly soothing her fears with his caresses and pulling her into the whirl of desire once again. When he came, she followed him only a second later, and although her second climax was not nearly as earth-shattering as the first had been, his closeness robbed her breath.
Five minutes later, they where still trembling, although their heartbeat had slowly returned to normal. Like cold water, the cruel truth of reality returned to their conscious mind. Irina closed her eyes, unable to stand the weakness and vulnerability she felt inside. Desperately, she turned to her side and buried her face in her hands.
"Oh God," she whispered, unable to believe what had just happened.
Jack pulled her closer and snuggled against her back, his arms wrapping around her. She tried to loosen herself from him, but he held her softly in place.
"Jack, we can't... I can't... please, let me go..."
"I won't," he murmured softly, but determined. "I will not allow you to leave me again... not after what we shared – after what you said." His hands ran carefully through her hair. "I love you, Irina."
She didn't answer, but her fingers moved tenderly over his hand, holding it close to her heart.
"And I promise you, I will never hurt you... let me be your husband." Jack whispered, kissing her softly.
For a long time she didn't move at all, millions of thoughts rushing through her mind. All her fears were reflected in a short moment. Finally, Irina closed her eyes and nodded with tears in her eyes. "Yes." She replied simply, realizing that she was willing to give up everything for Jack – her ideals, her hate, even the love of her family.
They remained under the tree for a long time, neither of them willing to disconnect from the other in the fear that the young bond between them could tear apart. Then finally, Irina smiled sleepily.
"I guess Mrs. Tribbiani is going to be very angry. We missed tea."
Jack couldn't help but start to laugh and kiss the woman, who was now even unofficially his wife. "She will have to live with it. I might skip tea more often from now on."
Irina smiled and leaned her head back against him intimately. "You might also want to not tell her so. She can be a dragon!"
"I am paying her." Jack replied. "If she has a problem with my wishes, she is free to look for another job."
He enjoyed the soft laughter that followed from Irina and decided that he would do everything to make her laugh more often.
"Jack..." Irina murmured thoughtfully and turned her head to look at him. "I - We have to work out a solution for us. You can not hide me for the rest of our lives and...I don't want to be a prisoner for the rest of my life."
"Don't worry... we will find a way." He said with a hint of certainty in his voice. What he didn't tell her was that there was only one way for them to have a life together, and that way was a pardon agreement from the queen. But that meant either that Irina's sisters agreed – or Irina accused them as traitors who weren't willing to cooperate. The first way was not likely to happen. And the second way... he was sure that it would break Irina's heart to have to choose between her sisters or him. And he knew that it would break his as well, because she would never be happy again if her family became her enemy.