Part 24 – The Invitation

"Jack?" Irina went through the large corridor, opening the door to her husband's study only to find it empty. She frowned, wondering where her husband might be. The whole morning she hadn't seen him. After she had returned from the picnic yesterday, he had been somewhat distant and silent. Even when she had played cards with her sister in the evening, Jack had just sat on the sofa, lost in thoughts while he was pretending to read a book.

Irina had noticed that he wasn't reading, since he had only turned the pages every five minutes. She didn't even worry so much about the reason for his bad mood, but the fact that he didn't talk to her about what concerned him frightened her.

She had slept alone in his bed last night, waiting past midnight for his company until she had fallen into a fitful sleep, certain that he would not come that night.

When she hadn't seen a single sign of Jack until after breakfast this morning, she had decided to ask him what was going on, but now she was running out of possibilities. Jack was neither in his study, nor in the library and she had already searched his other private rooms. No horse was missing, so he hadn't left the manor, and obviously none of the servants knew more than she herself knew about Jack's whereabouts.

Her last desperate idea was to search the attic. She had only been there once very briefly, and it was not a place she wanted to stay for a long time. Carefully, she went up the old wooden steps to the heavy door. Every step she took made the wood under her feet creak, and she was seriously afraid that the rotten staircase would break every moment. With all her efforts, she pushed open the old heavy door. It gave a loud squeak, and Irina went inside, wiping away a spider net that was hanging in her hair.

"Jack?" she asked, her voice resounding hollowly through the old attic. Old boxes were standing everywhere, and one wall was completely covered with an old bookshelf that held lots of antique books and some statues. It looked as if nobody had been up here for years. She was just about to leave again, when her eyes fell onto a door, which was hidden partly in the shadow of a bookshelf. Slowly, she went to the other side of the room, trying the handle. It opened easily, and as Irina pushed it open, she found herself standing in a neatly furnished room with an expensive desk in the center. Nothing in this room betrayed that it was located in an old attic, since it was clean and warm.

Slowly, she approached the picture of a man at the wall over an old fireplace, staring at it in fascination.

"Irina, what are you doing here?" Jack's voice startled her, and she spun around with a loud gasp.

"For heaven's sake, you scared me..." she murmured, only now noticing her husband, who was sitting in the armchair in a darker corner of the room. "I was looking for you throughout the whole house. I was getting worried."

Jack looked at her and closed the book that was lying on his knees. "I needed a little break – time to think."

"You didn't sleep in our bed last night," Irina remarked softly and approached him slowly. Not knowing what was bothering him made her nervous. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Jack looked at her intensely, suddenly thinking that he should send her away as long as there was still time. It was only a matter of days until he had to tell her what he had learned, and he knew it would break her heart, as well as it had broken his. It seemed as if all he could offer her was pain and a broken heart. She deserved better than him...

"Jack..." Irina went to her knees in front of him, her hands lying softly on his legs. "You are scaring me."

Jack bent forward to touch her cheek and brush his thumb tenderly over her lips. "I love you," he declared. "More than I could ever say."

She smiled faintly and placed her hand over his. "I love you too." Knowing that pushing him to talk to her would not help the situation, she just remained where she was and waited. Interested, she looked around in the room, wondering if this was some kind of secret library, as many manors had.

"There is something I didn't tell you," Jack finally started, having Irina's attention immediately. She just looked at him, not interrupting him with questions, and waited until he went on. "We talked about it only once, and back then you said that you did not want me to inform the queen about anything concerning you."

Irina slowly straightened her back, intuitively bringing a little distance between them. She knew what he was going to say, opening her mouth slightly in shock – yet a part of her didn't want to believe it.

"I did nonetheless. I wrote a letter to the queen, informing her about the circumstances and asking for her assistance." Jack closed calmly.

Irina inhaled deeply, looking around in the room. "You... you did... despite my asking you not to?"

"Irina, we had to do something. We can't go on like this forever. I don't want to live with the constant fear that somebody might discover your secret."

"You told her everything about me? The truth?" she asked, her voice betraying hurt inside her, but also anger.

"Yes... the whole story, without exceptions."

Irina lifted from the ground and turned, going to the small, dusty skylight. Wrapping her arms around her body, she didn't say a word for a long time.

"I considered all possibilities, and I came to the conclusion that this is the best way. It would have been only a matter of time until she had learned the truth; therefore, I thought it better if she learned it from me instead of some other source." Jack said carefully. For a long time Irina gave no sign whether she approved his reasons or not. Then suddenly she spun around.

"You knew my opinion," she snapped, her eyes sparkling with anger. "I told you my reasons, and you said you understood them. You lied to me!"

"No." Jack replied. "I did not lie to you, I still understand your reasons, Irina. It was a difficult decision for me, and I was afraid of the answer."

"How gentle of you to not make the decision easy! This is not fair. I trusted you. You promised me not to inform her..." Irina's outburst died in a small sob, and Jack got up and went to her, softly wrapping his arms around her to pull her against his shoulder.

"I know. And that's what I am sorry for, darling. I hated to break my promise."

"Then why did you do it? It was my decision," Irina murmured against the material of his jacket.

"Not exclusively. We are both involved in this, and if the queen learns that I am hiding a rebel – even more, protecting her from the consequences of law, she will think that I am sympathizing with the rebel group – which will only compromise my situation at court at the best. Worst case scenario is that she will throw me into the prison and execute me for betraying my country... and you as well." He buried his face in her chestnut locks and placed a soft kiss on her head. "If that happens, it was all for nothing. I don't have to tell you the consequences your family would have to suffer. I did not talk to the queen, because I wanted to betray you, Irina. I wanted to protect you since... I couldn't stand losing you."

Irina leaned her forehead against his shoulder, knowing deep inside that he was right – that the way he had dealt with the problem was the only reasonable one that existed. And knowing him, she was also sure that, of all possible ways, he had chosen the most diplomatic one. He was a great strategist and hadn't become the queen's counselor for nothing. Still, she felt betrayed and hurt that he had acted behind her back without consulting her beforehand.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered, her eyes burning against her will. "Why did you just write the letter behind my back? I know you are my husband, but still, I want to be consulted when my own future is concerned."

Jack lifted her head to be able look into her eyes. "The last time we talked about this subject, you announced absolutely determined and serious that you would run away at once if the queen learned about your identity." He explained and wiped away the single tear that made its way down her cheek with his thumb. "I knew you meant what you said. And I was afraid that, if I let you know that I informed the queen, you would run away again. That would have surely not remained hidden from the queen – which would have questioned everything I wrote in the letter about you being sorry and asking for pardon. You can't blame me for taking the precaution of acting behind your back with this. I wasn't so fond of alarming my whole group of soldiers to find you."

Irina chuckled lightly, knowing that Jack was right. Damn him for knowing her so well. "You are a mean bastard, do you know that?"

"You happen to make sure I do," he mused, and Irina couldn't help but give a short laugh. Her anger at him faded away when she met his deep, passionate eyes, almost drowing in the tenderness she read in them.

"So..." she finally asked. "What did she write? Is there a reason for me to worry?"

"Not quite. Although, she sharply rebuked me for hiding you in the first place, she is willing to talk to us face to face. For that purpose, she invited us to visit the holiday festivities at court in two weeks. She wants to meet you in person and talk to you before she decides about your future," Jack explained and saw the hint of panic in Irina's face. Softly, he touched her cheeks. "That is a good sign. She is willing to listen to your story. Tell her what happened and how you got involved – just as you told it to me. In her letter, she indicated that she is willing to pardon you and your family if you prove as respectable as I've described you to be."

"She is just going to pardon, us without any consequences for our crimes? Jack, nobody would act that way." Irina murmured and hid her face at his shoulder. "What if she doesn't pardon me?"

"She will." Jack promised. "Of course there will be consequences. Most likely you will be relieved of your title and your property taken away. You will no longer belong to the nobility – which doesn't actually matter, since you are married to me, so you will still be called a lady."

Irina took a deep breath and looked at Jack. "I know that this is the only way, but still... I am not sure I can stand it. Everything I have been fighting for my whole life will be lost. What about the future of my sister? She will be poor, a member of the lower class. All her chances for a good marriage will be gone. Jack, I can't do that to her."

"We will find a way. Please trust me. I will do everything I can. There are possibilities to secure certain things for her. Maybe I can work out some kind of a deal, through which you can earn your title and property back."

"It is not fair. Elena is just my sister. She never had anything to do with the terrorists. All she did was cover for Katya or me– but what was she supposed to do? Betray her own sisters?" Irina silently pleaded with Jack with her eyes. "Please, she can't be the one who suffers most now."

"The queen is a very gracious woman. Tell your story to her, and then we'll see how the situation works out. And if nothing helps, there is still the possibility of running off with you." He joked and kissed Irina's forehead. The woman laughed and placed her hands on his cheeks.

"Why didn't you come up with that idea earlier? We could be living in Spain or France by now."

"Crazy woman." Jack chuckled and kissed her deeply. For a long time they forgot everything around them, just sinking into a series of tender kisses. Although she felt fear inside, Irina was also sure that she could trust Jack – that he was going to protect her whatever happened. And she was sure that he was quite capable of just running off with her if absolutely necessary. Although, she also knew that this was the last possibility and almost totally out of the question, since by running off he would lose everything.

Jack ran his hands through Irina's silky hair, wanting to hold her forever. What he had told her was the truth... although it was only a part of the truth. The main part of the letter had included another awful truth he did not know yet how to explain to her.

When they had broke contact, Irina's look was warm and she smiled. "Now, will you please join us downstairs again? I've been missing you terribly..."

Returning her tender smile, he nodded. "Yes... I will be downstairs in a minute."

"Good," Irina whispered, turning to go to the door. Then suddenly she stopped again, turning her head at Jack. "By the why, why did you never tell me about this room? It's lovely."

"Because I did my best to forget that it existed. This was the office my father used to work in. These are all his personal books..."

"Oh..." Irina said and looked at the portrait over the fireplace. "Is that him?" she asked, thinking that the face of the man seemed somehow familiar to her, but not knowing why.

"Yes." Jack replied evasively, and Irina noticed his reluctance to talk about his father.

"Fine, I will be waiting downstairs for you then," she announced softly and left the room. Still, Jack's reaction remained in her head. What had happened that he refused to talk about his father – that he had even tried to forget the personal property of his father. She decided to ask him as soon as their problems were solved, and their life had settled to normal.

O O O O

"He did WHAT?" Elena stared at her sister, her hands on her hips, ready to storm out of the room just to beat the hell out of Jack Bristow. "He sold us out?"

"Would you calm down for a moment?" Irina demanded and pressed her back on the sofa. She had used a silent moment in the afternoon to talk to Elena about their future and what they had to expect.

"Calm down? Irina, am I the only one who thinks this whole situation is absolutely and unquestionably unacceptable?" Elena stared at her sister enraged.

"Just think for a moment," Irina said sharply and grabbed her shoulders. "Katya is dead. Our cover is blown anyway. The most reasonable thing to do is to try to end this in a peaceful way. I am not so fond of the idea to talk to the queen and beg for pardon either... but would you rather run and hide for the rest of your life? I don't."

"Well..." Elena murmured. "We could still pursue Katya's idea. The family of our mother in Russia will welcome us for sure. We would be safe there."

"In a country where we don't even speak the language, among people we have never met before." Irina remarked ironically. "I don't think that is worth longing for."

Elena sighed, silently admitting that her sister had a point, at least as far as she was concerned. Elena knew that Irina loved Jack Bristow, and even if she herself could not understand why, she was sure that Irina would rather go to prison for a certain amount of time if she could be with Jack afterwards, than to leave him forever.

As far as she herself was concerned, if their property was taken away, she had nothing left in England that she considered as home. Therefore, going to a strange country seemed more like a new start to her than an abandonment of home.

With a deep sigh she leaned back into the sofa and looked at Irina with a hint of sadness in her voice. "I would have never thought that it would end that way," she murmured.

"What would end?" Irina asked softly.

"This... our life... our team. We were always so good, you, Katya and me. I always thought we were invincible. There were so many moments when I thought it was over yet, we made it. Do you remember back then, when that group of soldiers stopped our carriage, which was full of smuggled goods?"

Irina laughed at the memory and smiled. "Yes..."

"I thought that was it. I thought we were made. Yet we got through it somehow... we didn't give up. And now everything is so... different." She smiled sadly at Irina. "Nothing will ever be the same again."

Irina looked at her for a long time, then suddenly hugged her tightly. "No it won't be the same again – but maybe it will be better someday. Maybe we have been given a chance to leave this whole vicious circle of crimes. We should take it. That doesn't mean we can't still have excitement in our lives. After all, we have to deal with the women at court somehow – and I am telling you, they can be worse than rebels."

Elena laughed and inhaled deeply. "I am not sure that is enough for me. I am not sure... I want it that way."

"What are you implying?"

"I was thinking about... going to Russia alone." Elena finally confessed, and Irina sat up, feeling as if she had been hit in the stomach. "I know what you're thinking now... I know that you love your Jack and that you don't want to leave him, but I... I have no such reason that would motivate me to even consider the kind of life that you are proposing. If our home is being taken away... our property... then I have no reason to stay here."

"But... what about me?" Irina whispered weakly, the pain hurting deep inside her heart. Never had she considered the possibility that their ways might separate one day.

"You have the man you love. I have seen how happy you are with him. You don't need me here..."

"How can you say that?" Irina asked, grabbing her younger sister's hand. "You are my sister."

"I am. But Jack is your husband. You love him... you should stay with him, Irina. And if you start to feel bored, you could still follow me to Russia. I just... I feel that this is the way I should go. I am sorry." Elena looked at her, pleading with her eyes for Irina to forgive her. The words she had spoken were the hardest ones she had ever spoken in her whole life.

"Don't be sorry." Irina finally whispered. "I have to accept your choice, if that is what makes you happy. When... I mean... are you planning to leave?" The thought of her sister being away seemed to break her heart.

"Don't worry. I am going to wait until you and Jack are back from your audience with the queen. After all, there is a tiny chance that you will have to go with me afterwards," she joked, and Irina laughed sadly, punching her playfully. At the moment it seemed impossible for her to live without her sister – but then it seemed equally impossible to leave Jack. The moment she had feared the whole time had finally come. She would have to choose between her sister and her love – and the decision she made would be a definitive one.