Chapter 3: Surprise, Surprise

"'You know what they say, life is full of surprises.'

'Life is boring, you're full of surprises.'"

Darla and Angel Angel

Draco raced Hermione into his room. He lowered his voice and jumped into his interrogation.

"What the hell are you doing here?! And dressed like that?!" He couldn't decide whether to be angry or amused.

"You mean Dumbledore didn't tell you I was coming?" she asked a bit loudly.

Draco clapped his hand over Hermione's mouth. "No" he whispered. "But if he did, I'm not sure I'd have believe him. Now you have to be quiet." He said releasing his firm grip.

"Why, are you such a bad wizard that you can't even put up a Silencing charm?" she scoffed, rubbing her lips.

Draco rolled his eyes. "We are at the Headquarters of the Order of the Viper. Do you really think Silencing Charms are allowed in a place where betrayal is bred?"

Hermione had to admit that made sense. She noticed that Draco was smirking at her in a particularly malevolent manner.

"What?" she asked.

"I was just marveling at your much improved fashion sense since we graduated."

"It's not my fault!" she blushed. "It was the only disguise I thought they'd buy."

"And what disguise is that?"

Hermione blushed. "I'm supposed to be your hired escort." She confessed.

Draco burst out laughing. "You're supposed to be my whore? Hermione Granger, voted most likely to never lose her virginity?!" He was increduolous.

"Actually, I prefer to the term 'Pleasure Provider' if anything." She said, turning a shade redder. "And I am not a prude."

"Really?" He asked, his doubt evident in his tone. "So you are not, in fact, a virgin?"

"I hardly think that's relevant" she sputtered.

Draco chuckled inwardly. Hermione was a walking paradox. One moment she was shamelessly flirting with his father, but she turned beet red when someone questioned her virginity, or lack of thereof.

He flashed her his signature smirk. "I was just wondering…" he trailed off.

"Yeah, well drop it" she ordered. She had only been in his presence for five minutes and he was already pissing her off. They stood in silence for a moment or two, before Draco asked another question.

"So why are you here?"

Hermione sighed. "Dumbledore sent me to help you out."

"You mean to keep an eye on me" he stated bitterly.

"If that's the way you want to take it" she shrugged. Hermione really didn't want to argue with him. It had been a long day. "Listen, we can sort this all out in the morning." She plopped onto his bed.

Draco cast a spell or two before sliding into the sheets as well. He scoffed at her raised eyebrow. "You didn't honestly think I'd relinquish my bed to you, did you?"

"Oh gods, what was I thinking. Gods forbid you'd have some common courtesy." Then Hermione left it there. Ungentlemanly as he was, Malfoy'd probably kick her off the bed if she made too much fuss.

Just before she drifted off Hermione managed to ask another question. "I thought Silencing Charms couldn't be cast here…"

Draco was practically asleep as well. "Those spells weren't silencing ones." Seeing Hermione's confusion, he explained. "They were to produce sounds that a hooker sharing a room with her john might make."

Rolling onto her side, Hermione gave a snort, "You are so crude Malfoy."

Draco fell asleep with a smile playing on his lips.