It took Logan three days to arrive at his cabin in Alberta. He took his time, not driving straight through as he usually did. By the time he arrived, he still hadn't done any formal "grieving" about Jean's death; in fact, he hadn't thought about her nearly as much as he had expected to.
Instead, he found himself thinking about Rogue, and about Stryker's assistant, Yuriko. He knew that Yuriko had been under the same control that had forced Nightcrawler to attack the President, and that she hadn't been in control of her actions when she attacked him at Alkali Lake. The fact that she had the same healing mutation as he did didn't change the twinge of guilt he felt over pumping her full of adamantium and dumping her into the lab tank.
He had a terrible thought: what if he hadn't killed her? What if she was still lying there, full of adamantium, fully conscious at the bottom of the lake? He shivered at the thought.
It was a little chilly in his cabin. Cold didn't usually bother the Wolverine, but he was in the mood for a fire.
Sitting in a chair staring into the flames, he was reminded of Rogue's preoccupation with his cigar. His brow furrowed. Not for the first time, he wondered whether he should have left when she was having troubles with Pyro in her head. He wondered whether she had started her X-man training yet; they hadn't discussed what their decisions would be. He was concerned for her safety and sanity, but then reminded himself that he had left her in the keeping of one of the most powerful telepaths in the world, and one of the best men he'd ever known. Xavier would let him know if anything happened to Rogue.
Logan had come up here in order to have some privacy for his grief over Jean's death, but after the first couple of days he had an epiphany. He simply wasn't that heartbroken about it. Sure, he had had feelings for Jean, and had been jealous of her relationship with Scott, but he wasn't crushed like he thought he was.
Rocked by this realization, he abruptly decided to make this stay a short one. Instead of the six or eight weeks he'd been planning to stay, he'd leave after two or three. He had been uneasy about leaving Rogue ever since he drove out the gates of Xavier's mansion. He knew she was among friends, and that Xavier would take good care of her, but he still felt unsettled.
On his fourth day at the cabin, however, right in the middle of his meal preparation, he suddenly dropped his knife and grumbled, "What the blazes am I even doing here?"
With a sigh, he picked up his knife again and finished cleaning the rabbit. Might as well leave on a full stomach. It would be a long way back.
The Wolverine was never one for extended introspection, but he did wonder why he had spent all that time thinking he was in love with Jean when he really wasn't. He liked her, was attracted to her (she really did have a great ass), and considered her a terrific person and a good friend – but his world wasn't falling apart like Scott's was. He would definitely miss her, but his heart remained intact. Xavier was right; she had made her choice.
And now Logan was going to make his. He could either stay up here in Canada, taking up his old life and feeling sorry for himself, or he could go back to a place where he was needed and accepted, if not well-liked. He knew that Rogue loved him, and would definitely need him when she started her training. And he had to admit he needed her too. Usually people were either afraid of him or trying to kill him. He honestly couldn't remember the last time someone had greeted him with a smile and a friendly hug. He shouldn't care. He shouldn't. But he did.
Next morning before dawn, the sound of a departing motorcycle rang out over the Alberta hills.
Well, what do you think so far? I have more written, but it needs polishing... and it still needs an ending. I'm leaning towards W/R, but perhaps it's best to just keep them friends. What do youguys think? Click that little blue button down there on the left and let me know!