A couple of years ago,
when I was about twelve, I was looking through a box of junk in the
garage and found a bunch of those green plastic army men that boys
always seem to have but never play with. I never played with mine,
anyway, which is probably why they ended up in a box in the garage.
To my preadolescent
mind, however, they were now interesting, but for all the wrong
reasons. I grabbed a few of them, and headed into the backyard with
a book of matches. I was going through a kind of a pyromaniac phase,
and had been setting small things on fire whenever I had the chance.
The army men wouldn't burn, so I snuck just a little gasoline from
the can in the garage we use to fill the lawnmower. Then they burned.
Nearly set my arm on fire, too. But it was worth it to see the army
guys melt into green gobs in a blaze of flame and black smoke.
I stopped burning
things not long after that. That got boring, just like everything did
at that age. I thought about those army guys again, though, once I
started dating Beast Boy. Were they alive too? Did they feel it when
I burned them? I don't think they were alive. They never moved or
talked like Beast Boy or my sister's stupid, slutty Barbie. I think
it's because they don't have names. They are just generic army
guys. Only the toys that have names and personalities get to come
alive. I hope.
I should have known it
would never last with Beast Boy and me. He's a plastic toy-how
long can you have an affair with something like that before you get
caught or you go nuts? I used to burn toys like him-now I'm
sleeping with them? That makes no sense. So I guess it had to end,
sooner or later.What made it bad is that it was my fault it ended.
For a couple of weeks,
I had a great time with Beast Boy. Whenever I had some time alone in
the house, I would bring him to my bed and we would make love. It was
easy for me, all I had to do was rub or lick his bump and he would go
nuts. It as a lot more work for him to get me off. It was great at
first, but to be honest, he was so small he couldn't do that much for
me. Sometimes I had to finish myself off, if you know what I mean.
We were going to
Target. Again. My Mom loves that store. Caitlin and my Dad were going
too, a real family outing. Up in my room, I had just shoved Beast Boy
down my pants for a quick bit of playtime before we left for the
store.
"Are you ready to
go?" my Mom asked while opening my bedroom door. I jumped, and
quickly pulled my hand out of my pants.
"Oh" my mom said,
then tried to pretend she hadn't seen anything. "We're ready to
leave," she said. "Wash your hands and come downstairs."
Damn! She thinks I was
playing with myself. How embarrassing. I pulled Beast Boy out of my
underwear.
"I gotta go," I
told him. I kissed his face. "I'll be back in a couple of hours."
I sat Beast Boy on me desk next to Robin. Robin scowled at me. He
hated that fact that Beast Boy and I were lovers. The first week I
had them, he complained whenever Beast Boy and I tried to do it. By
the second week, however, he stopped yelling and quietly watched us
from the desk, a depressed and lonely look on his face.
"You're not good
for him," Robin said to me.
"Mind your own
business," I answered.
When I got downstairs,
I saw Mom and Dad speaking quietly. Dad gave me a funny look. Thanks,
Mom. Why don't you just announce it over the loudspeaker at
Target? 'Attention Target customers. I caught my son masturbating!'
I was quickly getting
into a bad mood. In the minivan on the way to the store, Caitlin was
playing with her Barbie. I hadn't forgotten my last run in with
that doll. I leaned over towards Caitlin.
"your doll is
stupid," I said. Caitlin stuck her tongue out at me. She whispered
something to her Barbie, then held the doll to her ear for a
response.
"Mom, What does 'gay'
mean?" she called out.
Mom seemed startled for
a moment. "It means happy," she answered. A quizzical look on
her face reflected in the rear view mirror.
Caitlin leaned across
the back seat. "I don't think you're happy," she said to me
in a low voice. "I think you're mean".
"Shut up," I
growled. That damn Barbie was going to come up missing next time
Caitlin left it alone.
At the store, I decided
to go look at the Teen Titans toys. But when I got to the toy
department, I suddenly felt nervous. It was like I would be cheating
on Beast Boy by looking at the other action figures. 'No, it's
not cheating,' I thought to myself. 'They're all the same.'
Than it hit me. They
ARE all the same. That means I could buy another Beast Boy and Robin,
and do it with two BB's at the same time. My penis jumped in my
pants at the thought. Luckily, the store hadn't run out of the
Beast Boy and Robin set. I quickly grabbed the package and headed
towards the checkout.
'Beast Boy is gonna
love this,' I thought as I ran to my room with my Target shopping
bag. Beast Boy was where I had left him on my desk. Robin was at the
far edge of the desk, his back to Beast Boy.
"Look what I got us!"
Beast Boy looked at the
package in my hands and his mouth fell open.
"What the hell is
this?" he yelled. Robin whipped his head around.
"You bought another
set!"Robin shouted. He ran over to the edge of the desk near where
I was standing. "Why did you do that?"
"That's what I want
to know!" yelled Beast Boy. "I thought you liked me!"
"I do like you," I
answered. "That's why I bought another one. I want twice the
Beast Boy!"
I opened the package.
The new Beast Boy and Robin tumbled onto the floor. I picked them up
and set them on the desk.
"You don't like
me!" Beast Boy yelled. "You like...you like...Beast Boy, but not
me!"
I knew what he was
trying to say. "No," I said, but Beast Boy didn't listen. He
turned and ran to the end of the desk.
"What's the matter
with him?" asked the new Beast Boy.
"Beast Boy is, I
mean, he's my boyfriend," I said. "I thought that-"
"No way!" The new
Beast Boy shouted. "Don't even think about it. I like girls."
"But I thought-"
"That we're all the
same? Not even close."
I walked over to the
edge of the desk, to the first Beast Boy. "BB," I began, but
Beast Boy cut me off.
"I can't talk to
you right now," he said. "Leave me alone."
I sighed and went
outside for a while, to let things cool off. What the hell was I
thinking? I mentally kicked myself for making such a stupid mistake.
Then, I got an idea.
I waited about a half
an hour before returning to my room. The two Beast Boys sat about a
foot apart on the desk, both kind of staring blankly ahead. I
suddenly realized that I couldn't tell them apart. I leaned in to
the one closest to me.
"I'm sorry," I
said.
Beast Boy pointed at
his duplicate self. "You want him." I leaned over towards the
other Beast Boy. "I'm sorry."
"You want him." he
answered, pointing at the first Beast Boy.
I guess I deserved
this. "I'm sorry both of you," I said. "I didn't mean to
hurt anyone."
Both Beast Boys looked
at me.
"I've got an idea,"
I said. "Why don't the new Beast Boy go live with my sister? She
has Barbies and Kens, you'll have people to talk to."
The Beast Boy on the
left stood up. "I've got a better idea," he said. "Why don't
I go live with your sister?. I don't want to be here anymore."
"No, please, BB," I
pleaded. "I said I'm sorry."
"I need time to
think," said Beast Boy. "Please take me to your sister's room."
Sadly, I picked Beast
Boy up and headed towards Caitlin's room.
So that's how it
ended. Beast Boy, MY Beast Boy, is now living in my sister's room.
I let him go, hoping he would come back. He didn't , and lately has
been dating Ken. Yes, that Ken. So much for Barbie's 'cure'.
Robin #1 still lives in
my room. He seems happier now. Much happier, actually. He and Robin
#2 are lovers. They don't think I know, but at night, when I'm
trying to sleep, I can hear the soft clink of plastic bumping
plastic, and the occasional muffled moan.
Beast Boy #2 has become
sort of a friend. Not a lover, mind you-it took him a while to get
over what I tried to do. No, he's just a friend, and he's
actually pretty smart. He told me I'd work it all out eventually,
and figure out what to do.
Running all of these
events through my head, it occurs to me that. I'm not through
burning plastic toys after all. The flames I ignite now are more
accurate however. Now, I'm just melting their hearts. I feel bad
about that, but I'm getting over it. Beast Boy #2 is right. I have
figured out what to do. I've learned my lesson. To hell with the
skinny green kid, I want a real man.
Next time I'm at
Target, I'm buying a Cyborg.
