I'm not sure where this chapter came from, and I'm not sure if it's coherent at all. I think next chapter would be the last but I'm not sure yet. I've developed an addiction for writing this couple so I might try and do another fic when things are a little more slow in my life. Thank you to the ones that replied and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Everything Changed That Day
Part 4
I'm so cold. It's a beautiful place, but is still cold. If I'm so cold what I'm doing sitting on a windowsill with an open window? I'm not sure either.
I hug the yellow quilt tighter around my shoulders while a warm and salty tear runs down my cheek. Why can't I be happy? I'm a semester short of graduating from high school. I'm a part of a group of young people that are trying to work out problems from around the world. I'm in a beautiful place, surrounded by wonderful people and I still feel alone.
My sadness has a face and a name, Jason Lee Scott. My best friend, the man I love. Thinking back to the day everything changed between us, I can't help but think about what if's.
What if I hadn't been so scared? What if I had pushed harder? What if I had the courage to fight for what I really wanted?
All I wanted was to be loved, to have someone in my life to hold my hand and walk beside me. All I really wanted was him.
I tried to push my feelings a side. I lied to myself thinking that we could be just friends. When nothing worked, I found an escape, a way out. This Peace Conference was the perfect hiding place. I would be staying in Switzerland for two years away from him. I knew I was capable of forgetting about him.
But destiny had other plans.
"I decided to accept their offer and leave with the World Summit to Switzerland. I'm accepting their offer to be a part of the Peace Conference."
"Your destiny is to help others. You served your term as a Power Ranger with honor and nobility, but it's time for you to learn new things. We are going to miss you, but this is an opportunity that will add to your growth as an individual"
"So you are not mad at me for bailing?"
"You are not bailing, Trini. Your journey as the Yellow Ranger has come to an end, but you will always be a Power Ranger at heart."
"Thank you Zordon. Somehow I don't think the rest of the group will feel the same way."
"They don't know?"
"Kimberly does. She was with me when I got the call. She doesn't understand my need to join the Conference. She thinks I did this for other reasons."
"She thinks you are running away."
"How do you know? Has she spoken to you? What exactly did she tell you?"
"Kimberly hasn't been around, yet. But I'm sure she will be. After all she's about to lose her best friend. Why would she doubt your reasons?"
"She's not losing me. She'll be my best friend always. I might have signed those papers with an ulterior motive, but that's not why I'm going anymore. I know I can do a good job at the Conference. I know I can make a difference in the World, by other means besides been a ranger."
"I'm sure you do. I have complete confidence in you."
"You always have, haven't you? I'm going to miss you."
"I'm going to miss you too. The doors of the Power Chamber are always open for whenever you want to come by and visit."
"I love you Zordon. You are like a father figure to all of us."
"More like a father head." Alpha Five interrupted the sweet moment by running inside. "Sorry to interrupt the moment."
"It's OK, Alpha I was leaving anyway."
"Trini..."
"Yes, Zordon."
"We can't run away from our own heart."
"What does that mean?"
"You'll figure it out when you are ready."
We can't run away from our own heart. What he meant by that I'm still not sure.
> > >
I pace the room for what seems like a hundred times. Making this decision was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But there's no other way. It's not as if I can deny my duty and my oath to protect the World.
Zordon needs me, my friends need me, and people around the World need me. And still the little voice in my head tells me that if I do this I'll lose her forever.
Life has a funny way of working out. I came here running from her only to end up having her running by my side. I love her, but still I'm not sure that's enough.
"Come inside, Mr. Scott. The other two American Ambassadors are already inside."
"Thank you."
A slim, tall and beautiful Asian gasped in surprised and a charismatic African American smiled. "Wicked!"
"What's this? Is this a joke or something?"
"So you know them too?"
"Know them? Of course I know them, they are my friends. What are you guys doing here?"
"The same thing as you man, the same thing as you. I wasn't that surprised to find my Yellow Mellow was chosen, she is the walking epitome of the word Peace. But you my man, this sure is a surprise."
"So you two are going to Switzerland?"
"No bro, we three are going to Switzerland. Ain't life a joke?"
His eyes had never left the girl dress in yellow that seemed to have lost her voice and whose eyes were shinning with unshed tears. "You can say that again."
A joke, karma or destiny… who knows? I sure as heck don't. We ended up moving half way around the world together and our feelings still were unresolved.
I know it wasn't long before Zack realized what was going on between Trini and me. Or should I say what wasn't going on. Instead of facing my fears and jumping head first I retreated inside myself. I was always doing something, so I wouldn't have to see her.
But Zack had other plans. One day he told me that he saw Trini running out of the Dinner Hall and inside her room. He said she received news from home and that things were bad. I had to find her and make sure she was okay.
The knock on the door was almost imperceptible. The door was ajar and he could here the soft sniffs and sobs escape from her mouth.
"Can I come in?"
She looked up from her place on the twin bed and his heart broke at the sight of the tears streaked face.
"Hey what's wrong?" He took a step inside the small dorm room and closed the door softly behind him.
"N-no-nothing." She tried to wipe her cheeks with the back of her hand, but soon a new set of tears found their way down her cheeks.
"I know that we haven't been the closest of friends lately, but I…"
Trini was staring at her wrist where a silver bracelet was shinning. He recognized it as her the one her grandmother Lyn gave her on her 10th birthday.
"Trini?" He was on the end of the bed now.
"She was my Grammy… my Nana... I love her. I love her so much."
"I don't understand."
"She used to sing old lullabies to me so I could go to bed. She told me old legends of warriors and princesses… I wanted to be a princess… she told me that I had the warrior's semblance and the princess heart."
Jason took a couple of steps closer to her and sat on the edge of the bed. He couldn't stand seeing her like this. She was like a lost and scared little girl when she cried. All he wanted to do was hold her close and never let go.
"She was right. You are one of the strongest people I know, but you are also the kindest."
"I don't feel strong." Her eyes turned up to meet his and she cried harder.
"It's okay to let the guard down."
"What am I going to do now? She's gone and I feel like a piece of me is gone with her."
"Your grandmother is not gone, Trini. She'll always live in your heart."
She looked up then, tears still bathed her face. And God help him, he still thought she looked beautiful. As a reflex he wrapped his arms around her and soothed her back as he whispered comforting words.
We spent the rest of the day in her room. We didn't say a word, we didn't need to. She knew I was there for her and I knew she was thankful that I was.
That day opened my eyes and made me change my behavior. I went back to being her friend. And soon we were laughing and hanging out together.
But Zack still felt the need to play cupid.
Valentine's Day was a definite turning point. I was struggling on my own stubbornness. I still wasn't sure that Trini wanted something more than a friendship from me. So Zack took matters on his own hands.
The day of the Sweetheart's dance at the Student Hall I received a red rose boutonnière with a note. If you don't go after what you love, you'll regret it the rest of your life.
I knew what I had to do. Life with an uncertainty of what could have been was no life at all.
> > >
Valentine's Day seemed like all my dreams were about to became reality. He asked me to the Sweetheart's dance.
I blushed and I stammered but finally I said yes. How could I not? I went to the Mall and I bought the most beautiful dress I have ever seen. It was a white halter that came to mid calf. A bouquet of red and yellow roses was hand painted at the bottom right side of the skirt.
I made my hair into a mass of ringlets around my face. I will never forget the huge smile on his face when he saw me. His brown eyes went wide and he stuttered on his words. He looked stunning in his tux too.
We danced, we laughed, we kissed and we fought. It was a night to remember.
The sky was shinning with bright stars as they sat on the green grass looking up. She was sitting in his lap looking at the stars as he kissed his way down her neck. When he hit a ticklish spot she giggled.
"Stop it."
"I'm so happy we are here, together."
"I'm happy too."
He caressed her arm and kissed her nose sweetly.
"It had taken us a long time but we made it."
She looked down on his face at his words with a huge smiled that decorated her face.
"We have?"
"Yes we have. Because I love you Trini, I've loved you for a long time and the reasons we've trailed apart in the past doesn't matter now. What really matters is that we are together."
Her smile faltered in the middle of his speech and he noticed. A frown over took his features.
"What? What did I say?"
"Nothing."
"Don't say nothing, like I'm not supposed to notice. I know something about what I said bothered you."
"It's just that you said that the reasons we've been apart doesn't matter… and I think they do. They matter a lot Jason."
"Why should they? I mean you had doubts…"
Trini straighten and stood up like an arrow. "What? You are saying that I was to blame for us not been together sooner?"
Jason stood up too and looked at her. "I didn't say that. Why do you always do this?"
Anger had her speaking louder. "Do what exactly?"
"This. You turn everything I say around until we start fighting."
"Well if you plan on blaming me for everything that we've been through, what do you expect for me to smile and thank you for your pity?"
"Pity? What are you talking about?"
"You just said that I was the reason we didn't get together sooner because I had doubts. If I remember correctly, you were the one dating that girl."
"Yeah well, you had a lot of fun dating Ritchie, didn't you?"
"So what? You wanted me to stay a spinster, while you had your fun?"
"I wasn't the one that kept her feelings bottled up inside all those years."
"We'll I wasn't the one that kissed me silly and then said it was a mistake."
"This is not getting us anywhere."
"No you are right, it's not."
"We are fighting about the same things over and over. Why can't we just move forward?"
A tear escaped her eyes and her bottom lip trembled. "Because maybe we are just not meant to be."
Her words stung deep inside his stomach. And he felt like Goldar had come out of nowhere and suckered punched him into reality.
"Maybe you are right."
I was willing him to say something. But that certainly wasn't it. I wasn't right. I didn't want to be right.
I rest my head over my drawn up knees, fresh tears stinging in the back of my eyes.
And now, now he was leaving. He was taking her heart with him and leaving her alone and empty inside.
> > >
Because maybe we are just not meant to be. Her words cause an unbelievable amount of pain.
She wasn't right at all. He knew they could make it work, if they couldn't why was leaving her behind so difficult?
They were meant to be. And he was about to show her.
He walked up to her cottage with a bit of difficulty. They've been staying at the Pyrenees for a few days. The ten Ambassadors chosen to do attend the Environmental Conference were staying at a sky lodge and were assigned a roommate for the weekend.
The snow covered most of the land. He was wearing two shirts, a knit red turtleneck and his brown leather jacket, but he was still cold.
He knocked on the wooden door and waited for an answer. The Italian girl named Ana answered the door with a small smile.
"Hey is Trini around?"
"I knew you would be looking for her."
"Why is that?"
"Because today is your last day at the conference and she's been crying her eyes out all day."
His expression turned somber all of the sudden and the young girl felt herself shrink in guilt.
"I didn't mean that you made her cry. I just…"
"I know, Ana. It's okay. You think I can have a moment alone with her?"
The wicked smile that appeared on the young girl's face wasn't lost on him. She turned around and disappeared for a moment before coming back with an overnight bag.
"You can have all the time you want Jason. I was just on my way to your cabin."
"What are you going to do on my cabin?"
"Victor was supposed to ask, but now that you're here it makes it easier."
"I'm not following you here."
"I'm staying the night with Victor. So you better spent the night here. We don't want any interruptions today is our one year anniversary."
"Okay. So now I'm been banned from my own place?"
"Basically. So you'll better find a way of making the smile on that girl's face appear again or I'll kick your butt so hard you'll get to California without ever stepping foot on the plane."
Without another word Ana stepped out on the cold evening and walked away in the direction he had come from. Shaking his head in disbelieve he entered the cabin and closed the door behind him.
He was going to this one way or the other so he took a couple of deep breaths and walked to her room. When he knocked three times and didn't found an answer, he tried the doorjamb. It turned easily.
The cold hit him fast as he made his way inside the room, looking for her he found her sitting on the windowsill. God she was beautiful.
She felt him before she saw him. It was a weird thing she never understood. A connection that was starting to irritate her.
She tried to dry the tears away, but it was too late. He was kneeling in front of her with his brown eyes filled with concern and guilt.
"I'm so sorry I hurt you."
"And so you keep saying." She lifted her head off her knees and looked down at him.
"It's the truth."
"I know."
"I have to do this."
"I know that too."
"I love you."
"I love you."
"Then why aren't we together?"
"I don't know."
Trini stood from her place and hugged herself with the soft quilt tightly. "This thing between us is never going to work. I love you, you love me. We kiss, we yell and we end up in the same place we started."
Jason sighed and stood in front of her. Their eyes met, he moved closer and brought a hand to her long black hair. It was windblown and a dark leaf was tangled up in her tresses. He took the leaf out of her hair and showed her. "So we just let the wind take us each in a different direction and wait for the time to be right?"
She fought hard for keep her sobs to herself but it was useless. Her lip trembled again and all he wanted was to kiss her.
"What if the time is never right? What do I do with all this feelings then?"
She couldn't speak. The huge lump on her throat wouldn't let her.
"Do you know what it's like to dream about someone all the time? …To be so close that you can smell their wonderful presence and so far that you could never make it work?"
"Yeah I do."
"I want to be with you."
"You have to leave."
"We still have tonight."
With that he inched closer and took her in his arms. He kissed her softly. A sweet exploration of her that left her dizzy. Her arms went around his neck and his around her waist.
The fire was roaring in the back of the room. The cold wind was still coming in from the opened window. But they didn't notice either of them. The heat of passion had consumed them and there was no turning back.
Trini's mind was filled with a sweet haze as she left the quilt that was wrapped around her fall to the floor. Jason's hands found their way up her yellow sweater and the white tank she was wearing underneath. Soon his firm hands were in contact with her soft and feminine skin. She in time took her hands and slipped his jacket of his shoulders. Raking her nails on the hair of his nape she moaned into his mouth.
The soft sound from her brought him back to reality. He stepped back, his heart going a mile a minute.
"What's wrong?" She said in between breaths.
"I- we shouldn't be doing this."
"Why not?"
"It wouldn't be fair. I'm leaving tomorrow. I can't take advantage of you like this."
"You won't be taking advantage of me, because I want to do this."
He took in her flustered face and her lips swollen from his kisses. He shook his head and tried to put his thoughts in order.
"Jason… I love you and I want to make love to you."
"We've just admitted we can't be together…"
"And we also admitted that we love each other. I know what this means. If we can't be together, then at least let me show you how much I love you."
"I'm not asking you to show me. I know just by looking at your eyes."
She pulled her yellow sweater over her head and sat on the edge of the bed. She was determined to seduce him. This was their good bye and she was at least going to do it right.
She was a very determined woman. He knew it and his own resolve was wavering under her innocent offer. One more look at her alabaster skin and her beautiful eyes and he was a gonner.
He walked to the window and closed it and then made his way toward her. Kneeling in front of her he cupped her face with his hands.
"You are the most beautiful and wonderful woman I know. I respect you and I admire you. I don't know if we'll see each other again after tonight, I don't know if we'll ever get this right. But God help me I want to make love to you."
"Then do it."
He kissed her while he pushed her back on to the pillows. They searched each other without hurry. They kissed, they touched and caressed deep down to their mere souls. Skin over skin, innocence over innocence they gave each other the most precious gift. Their first time was the most beautiful experience they could ever share with each other.
> > >
He looked over at her sleeping form and for the first time allowed himself to cry. They loved each other, but love wasn't enough.
He reached his back pocket and pulled out a gold pendant in the form of a broken heart. He placed the pendant inside and envelope and then placed it on the pillow beside her. He kissed her temple and stepped back.
They'll see each other again, he was sure they would. A love so pure deserved a happy ending.
He remembered as he was standing by the lake, on the same spot where she became the sole owner of his soul. The letter in his hand told him that she had applied for a scholarship at the Sorbonne University in Paris and she was accepted. She was going to stay in Europe.
She still loved him. And he was right, she said, when he told her that they would find each other eventually.
In the meantime he had to fulfill his duty as the Gold Ranger and she had to prepare for her future as a promising young doctor.