Recipes

by Elementalist

This was just supposed to be a joke for my friends, but they insisted that I put it up. The title says it all, recipes that main ingredients are your favorite FMA charaters.

3. Fangirl Jello

How to make:
Fangirl Jell-o

Yes, you read right. It does say ' Fangirl Jell-o', so you don't need to get your eyes checked. I bet you're wondering why I would write a recipe about fangirls, but that's not the case. See, this is for fangirls, they're not in the recipe themselves. ( Ok…Ok…That's a lie, they are in the recipe…but! Only at the end…..I'll leave it at that…)

On another note…as all good recipes should have and start with ( and like all the ones I've written before):

Step one:
Now if you can remember ( which you should unless you have brain problems……..uh, never mind…) all my pervious recipes started off with a list of ingredients and then I'd yell at you for not having them at the end. Well, this one's going to be a little bit different. How so? Well, this time there's going to be two list ( one of the main ingredients and one of the optional ingredients…….we should have fun with this…) and then I'll yell at you for not having them.

Main

1) Edward Elric ( which from here on out we'll call him shortie, just kidding….we're gonna call him Ed…for it takes up less time to type up anyways)
2) About seven hundred (700) of those instant jell-o pack things ( flavors are your choice)
3) A tub filled with hot water ( like you are going to take a bath, but don't get in it……yet…)
4) A lock, key, and chains

Optional

1) Whipped cream
2) Cool-whip
3) ( and if you are a total health nut) those sliced pineapple things
4) Whips and tight leather pants (…don't know why I put that….but it's optional…..for all you kinky people…)
5) ( The last but not the least item on the list is none other than) Roy Mustang ( How about we just call him Roy…or Mustang…either one is better than writing out his whole name…just thought I'd give you the heads up….)

Now the fun part…do you have all the main ingredients? Okay, now the optional…no? None at all? Well, you're a boring little freak, aren't you? So to all of you that have no optional ingredients, go get at least one…or the recipe will come out plain and boring….just like you…..so hurry up or I'll yell some more….(ahem) Still none? Fine then…I'm gonna yell now. (just to let you all with the least boring ingredients, you may want to leave the room, it could get messy…)

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE (TO INSTERT WORD OR WORDS HERE) TELL YOU TO GET THE (INSERT ANOTHER WORD HERE) INGERDIENTS! GOD! I HATE YOU! GET OUT NOW YOU (YEAH, YEAH, YOU GET THE PICTURE NOW, EH?) JERK (or jerks!)
Okay all of your who a.) left the room or b.) can still hear I'm done now, so we can begin with stop two!

Step two:
Now I want you to get Ed and whack him on the head. Make sure that he'll be out for awhile. ( I mean, come on! Do you seriously want him to wake up right in the middle of the whole…cooking process? Didn't think so)

So now what you want to do is pour all ( yes, all) of the jell-o packs into the tub and stir well until dissolved. ( And if you were one of the health freaks add the pineapple slices at this time…) Now after all that is done with, throw Ed into (and/or Mustang same rules apply) the tub.

Make sure ( it's very important) that Ed's head is above the…..jell-o and that his arms are chained up above it. This is for two reasons; 1. You don't want him to drown (and if you do….go away…….unless you want my army of insane, chibi ninjas to come after you and tear you limb from limb…..Or all the fangirls can/will come after you and then you'd wish my army of insane, chibi ninjas were coming after you…) and 2. So he can use his alchemy.

Now leave the room and lock the door. You'll be coming back later so you don't need to check on him every five seconds! Kay? (every ten is okay)

Step three:
Now this step is to all you that got some/all/one of the optional ingredients. (and if you did I'm very proud of you! You get a gold star!) So just add them where you want after the jell-o sets. ( Unless you have the tight leather pants…add them before the jell-o sets….you kinky, kinky person and the whip well, you know what to do with that….if not, I'm pretty sure there's a ' How to use a kinky whip, for dummies') Now on to the last step!

Final step:
Now I know that I usually tell you that this is the tasting part………..but I want to say something different………but, unfortunately for you I can't think of anything…so deal with it.

So now you may taste your very own jell-o! But before you start to dig into your delicious dessert, you may want to read the fine print……WARNING! ED MAY CAUSE SERIOUS INJURY TO HIMSELF, YOU, OR ANYONE UNFORTUNTATE ENOUGH TO BE IN THE AREA. PLEASE USE UNDER PARENTAL SUPERVISION (Okay…you don't have to follow that part….). CAUTION USING AROUND EYES, NECK, OR ANY OTHER BODY PART THAT, IF SERIOUSLY DAMAGED, WILL BLEED HEAVILY. We are not to be held responsible for any deaths or injuries caused……….It's your fault for buying/stealing the product anyways…

And just to let you all know, yes I am psycho….don't believe me? Let me go get the paperwork.

Until next time,
Chef Elementalist

( I would like to say thank you to all the people who reviewed, which would be; Shale 101, Anime Monster, Rogue-Amnesti, Tough Critic, Korikoto, BloodPuddles, and Genkai-chan. And to all you Roy fangirls out there take GWG and BloodPuddles advice, take off the gloves if your allergic to them. Ele.)