Hey guys. Thanks for sticking with me so long. Over 100 reviews and still
no flames ^^ hope I didn't jinx that though . . .
.
.
Well anyway, this chapter is the result of a conversation on a malfunctioning computer where a certain someone *coughRETDcough* got the wrong idea that I was a Tea Basher. He dared me to write an extremely Tea- friendly whose line, so I am. Sorry to the Tea bashers out there, you may wanna skip this one.
Btw, a whole bunch of these ideas are from RETD. Saying it now so I don't have to later. ***
Hello and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway, let's meet tonight's guests!
*because CPegasus has started watching Whose Line again, the contestants are already seated, as they should be*
Look, up in the sky, it's Tea Gardner! *Tea smiles and waves. A few scattered Tea Bashers boo, and are immediately knocked cold by RETD and a huge mallet. Everyone else claps politely*
Faster than a speeding bullet, it's Ryou Bakura! *Ryou smiles shyly as his fangirls scream*
This looks like a job for Mai Valentine! *Mai blows kisses at the audience*
And it's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's only Joey Wheeler! *Joey pouts a bit, but perks up when his fangirls start cheering*
I'm your host CPegasus, come on down and let's have some fun! *CPegasus runs to the comfy chair*
CPegasus: hello and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are like a "5-finger discount" on The Simpsons *audience looks at each other in confusion, not getting it* aw come on, it was funny!
Sam: -_- sure hikari, sure.
CPegasus: okay, our first game tonight is Weird Newscasters! You all know how to play this one. So Tea, you're our anchorperson. Mai, you're the co- anchor, and your son is in the audience with his new wife, whom you hate *laughter* Ryou, you're doing the sports as the Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon. *laughter again* Joey, you're the weatherman, and you're attempting to hit on both Tea and Mai at the same time *audience roars in anticipation* and begin when you hear the music.
*news music*
Tea: hello, I'm your anchor, Sarah Bellum *minor laughter* tonight's top story, stuff happened. *audience laughs* now, I refer you to my co-anchor, Mai Valentine, a stupid pun in itself *laughter again*
Mai: *stares suspiciously into the audience* *stands up, speaking in a thick Brooklyn accent* you're killing me Robbie! *audience laughs at hearing this at all* ya never shoulda married her! She's a witch! *audience laughs again* *Mai storms over to some poor guy in the audience sitting with his girlfriend and starts yelling at him. However, we can't really hear what she's saying over the laughter. The poor guy just sits there laughing, rather than doing something cool. Mai goes back to her stool and sits calmly* back to you Sarah dahling. *audience gets the last laugh*
Tea: um . . . right. Well, now, over to our sportscaster, *thinks, smirk* Bluie *audience laughs, remembering Kaiba's Blue-eyes Plushie*
Ryou: *has been thinking for a minute* *opens his eyes really wide and smiles insanely, jumping around cutely. All the fangirls scream delightedly, attempting to run up and mass huggle him. However, they are held in their seats by some magnetic force set up by CPegasus. Ryou continues to do his impression, running around to all the cameras and looking cute*
Tea: that's very nice Bluie. So, you heard the man, bet on the Yankees. Again. *laughter* and finally, we turn you to our weatherman, Spanky McSpankpants *laughing is heard*
Joey: *growls a little at the name, but ignores it, and takes an invisible pointer out* well, we've got some hot weather coming in from the south, but I happen to think we've got something even hotter right here in the studio *raises eyebrows, very noticeably looking at Mai*
Mai: *rolls eyes* who hired *him*? *laughing is heard again*
Joey: of course, if one tropical fish doesn't bite, there's always another beauty just waiting to be caught *raises eyebrows again, this time at Tea*
Tea: *sighs, looks into the camera* hold on a second folks. *walks up calmly and faces Joey. She smiles, and he grins stupidly, staring at her in ways that are quite creepy. Tea takes this for about half a second, then smacks him. Hard. She walks back up to the camera* well, that's all the time we have today. Be sure to tune in again tomorrow. Trust us, he won't be here *audience laughs as the ending news music plays*
CPegasus: very nice, very nice, 2476 points to Ryou, 3481 to Mai, 6823 to Tea and 2 for Joey.
Joey: *pouts*
Sam: our next game is called Whose Line. Yes, we have a game called Whose Line on Whose Line. (yes, I stole it from Drew Carrey) you also know how this works, so I'll jump right into it. The scene is; Tea and Mai are teenage girls at a sleepover, talking and giggling the night away. *to CPegasus* hikari, you don't need to use the extra description on this fic.
CPegasus: but everyone tells me to be more descriptive! (they do)
Sam: I know, I know.
CPegasus: okay, Mai, Tea, here are your lines *hands them each a handful* and start!
Tea: okay, okay, you first, truth or dare.
Mai: truth
Tea: which of your boyfriends did you like most?
Mai: oh, that would be Brian. He always said the sweetest things. Like one time we were going home from a movie, and he looked me right in the eyes and said *paper* that's pig slop, that is. *laughter, Tea looks at her weird* we passed a manure field *Tea nods sympathetically* okay, your turn!
Tea: dare!
Mai: I dare you to kiss my brother!
Tea: ew, no! the last time I saw him, he told me *paper* hey there pop-n- fresh *laughter*
Mai: okay, fine. Then I dare you to call Jimmy and say *paper* the ninjas are coming, the ninjas are coming *laughter again* naw, that's stupid.
Tea: I'll say something else then *dials an imaginary phone* hey, Jimmy? Hi, I just called to say *paper* do you know the Muffin Man? *laughing is heard, strangely enough, yet again* *no, I DON'T know what that means* you do? Is he already out of banana nut? *laughter* oh okay, I won't waste my time then. Thanks Jimmy! *hangs up said imaginary phone*
Mai: this is a stupid game.
Tea: yeah . . .
Mai: y'wanna bake something?
Tea: oh, I dunno, my mom said *paper* I'm gonna take out your liver bones *laughter, quote credited to Ralph Wiggum* mostly we figure that means "you use the oven and I force you to baby-sit your Barney-loving cousin. *laughter again*
Mai: *wince* harsh. Okay, um . . . then let's go light stuff on fire
Tea: NO! *appalled*
CPegasus: *buzz buzz buzzzzzz*okay, that's enough of that, now isn't it? Thousand points each, lovely job girls. Now, normally we'd go to a commercial break now, but we've got a clip we want to show you, so here it is.
*clip*
Joey: *stands at an amusement park, staring at a map* you are here. *gasps* how do they *know*? *looks around* are they watching me? THEY ARE! *dives into an abandoned baby stroller nearby, pokes his head over the top* they're after me . . .
*end clip, audience is roaring*
CPegasus: XD that was great. Thanks Joey.
Joey: *growling* no problem
Sam: okay, it's time for a really fun new game called Show-Stopping Number! Goes a little something like this; Tea and Ryou are gonna act out a scene, with Joey coming in a little later. When CPegasus pushes the pretty buzzer button, they have to take the last thing they said and sing a show-stopping number about it.
CPegasus: okay, here's the scene. Tea and Ryou are workers at the local aquarium, covering the Sea Lion show. Joey will come in as their audience participant. And START!
Tea: okay, so there are several differences between a seal and a sea lion.
Ryou: *very fake gasp* there ARE? *laughter*
Tea: that's right Ryou. And we're gonna tell you about them *buzz, Tea giggles a little and starts dancing around pretty well, singing*
We're gonna tell you
About the different thingies
A seal and sea lion aren't the same
They have different ears
And different little legs
And seals never sat well with my brain! *laughing*
No I never liked those seals
Never ever liked those seals
Sea lions always liked me a bit more
Cause lions balance balls
And play their little tricks
While seals just slide across the floor! *music ends, Tea gets applauded*
Ryou: . . . I never knew you felt that way about the seals, Tea
Tea: yeah, well don't tell them. *laughter*
Ryou: okay, now how many of you have ever seen one of these shows before? Good, okay, that's fine. Now, it's time for the sea lions to do some tricks *buzz, music starts. Ryou blushes and sings*
It's time for the sea lions
To show us their tricks
This'll be great fun, oh joy! *laughter*
They'll tumble, and caper
And swim around
Bring happiness to every girl and boy!
They'll balance balls
And other things
And never let their fans down, NO!
Even if they died
And went to Seal Heaven,
They'd still come down to Earth to do their show! *music ends, Ryou takes a shy little bow*
Tea: alright, it's about time for our audience volunteer to come up! Who wants to pet a seal?
Joey: *running up* OOH! Me! Me! Pick me! *buzz, Joey jumps right into it*
Me! Me! Please pick me!
My life is not complete without that seal!
I need to pet it!
Please let me pet it!
And please, make sure that it's real *a little laughing*
I've had some bad encounters
With my furry stuffed toy friends
Let's just say it wasn't pretty
And bring this game to an end *audience laughs, CPegasus rolls eyes and buzzes to end the game*
CPegasus: very good. Y'know, we're having a special this week.
Ryou: really? Do tell.
CPegasus: yeah, one day of Whose Line, for only 299 points *minor laughing* Okay, next game is my personal fave, *pulls out a big old Musketeer hat with a big feather* Scenes From a Hat! Everyone knows how this one goes; I play it every time, so we'll just get started. Your first suggestion is: if Joey ruled the universe
Tea: breakfast: doughnuts. Lunch: doughnuts. Dinner: doughnuts *audience is laughing* *buzz* snacks: d- *buzz*
Joey: I, Joey "Ruler of All" Wheeler, hereby declare all fanfiction ILLEGAL! *laughter, Ryou cheers loudly*
CPegasus: I WILL NOT BE SILENCED! *everyone looks at her weirdly*
Sam: okay, *paper* what Ryou is thinking right now
Tea: man, I want some doughnuts *laughter*
CPegasus: okay, okay *paper* names that will get your dog beaten up by other dogs
Ryou: *whistles* here Beat-me-up! *laughter* here boy! *buzz*
Mai: c'mere Snookers! *buzz*
Ryou: Wimpy! Here boy! Come here Wimpy! *minor laughter*
Sam: science experiments that will be rejected
Joey: y'know, the only thing I could come up with is "the effects of gasoline. On fire" *laughter* (yes, stolen from Homestarrunner.com) *buzz*
Tea: I call it "what's inside a cat"! *laughter* *buzz*
CPegasus: what Mai is sick of hearing
Joey: *comes up, dragging Mai with him* hey HEY, how ya doing sugar? *Mai slaps him and walks off* ow . . .
Ryou: *goes up, also dragging Mai with him* so what's your *real* name? *laughter*
Mai: *pushes Ryou off the stage, taking it herself* I need you for a fanfiction *everyone laughs and cheers*
CPegasus: *buzz buzz buzzzzzz* okay, that's all the time we have for that! We'll be back with the winner right after this!
***
CPegasus: welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway; tonight's big winner is Tea! *Tea sits in the comfy chair. She smiles and waves. The audience claps, all the Tea-haters having been knocked out with RETD's new giant mallet* so that means everyone else gets to play a little game called World's Worst. The way this works is Tea will read off the card something, and we have to provide the world's worst examples of that thing. So Tea, what are we doing?
Tea: you're doing the World's Worst Christmas Present *laughter*
Joey: well, uh, I didn't *buy* you anything, but uh, there's the mistletoe *raises eyebrows. Mai goes up and slaps Joey*
Mai: I didn't buy anything either, but *there's* your present *laughter* *buzz*
CPegasus: *goes up, dragging Ryou with her* here ya go Ryou, give this gun to your Yami for me *laughter, buzz*
Ryou: here you go Marik: the Millennium Puzzle and all the God Cards! I know it's just what you always wanted! *laughing*
CPegasus: um . . . I got an Easter Egg for you *minor laughing*
Joey: . . . plaid socks?! WTF!? *laughing*
Mai: here Kaiba, all 3,013 episodes of Funny Bunny! On DVD! *everyone cracks up*
Tea: *buzz buzzzzzz buzz*
CPegasus: well that's all the time we have for today, join us next time on Whose Line is it Anyway!
.
.
Well anyway, this chapter is the result of a conversation on a malfunctioning computer where a certain someone *coughRETDcough* got the wrong idea that I was a Tea Basher. He dared me to write an extremely Tea- friendly whose line, so I am. Sorry to the Tea bashers out there, you may wanna skip this one.
Btw, a whole bunch of these ideas are from RETD. Saying it now so I don't have to later. ***
Hello and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway, let's meet tonight's guests!
*because CPegasus has started watching Whose Line again, the contestants are already seated, as they should be*
Look, up in the sky, it's Tea Gardner! *Tea smiles and waves. A few scattered Tea Bashers boo, and are immediately knocked cold by RETD and a huge mallet. Everyone else claps politely*
Faster than a speeding bullet, it's Ryou Bakura! *Ryou smiles shyly as his fangirls scream*
This looks like a job for Mai Valentine! *Mai blows kisses at the audience*
And it's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's only Joey Wheeler! *Joey pouts a bit, but perks up when his fangirls start cheering*
I'm your host CPegasus, come on down and let's have some fun! *CPegasus runs to the comfy chair*
CPegasus: hello and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are like a "5-finger discount" on The Simpsons *audience looks at each other in confusion, not getting it* aw come on, it was funny!
Sam: -_- sure hikari, sure.
CPegasus: okay, our first game tonight is Weird Newscasters! You all know how to play this one. So Tea, you're our anchorperson. Mai, you're the co- anchor, and your son is in the audience with his new wife, whom you hate *laughter* Ryou, you're doing the sports as the Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon. *laughter again* Joey, you're the weatherman, and you're attempting to hit on both Tea and Mai at the same time *audience roars in anticipation* and begin when you hear the music.
*news music*
Tea: hello, I'm your anchor, Sarah Bellum *minor laughter* tonight's top story, stuff happened. *audience laughs* now, I refer you to my co-anchor, Mai Valentine, a stupid pun in itself *laughter again*
Mai: *stares suspiciously into the audience* *stands up, speaking in a thick Brooklyn accent* you're killing me Robbie! *audience laughs at hearing this at all* ya never shoulda married her! She's a witch! *audience laughs again* *Mai storms over to some poor guy in the audience sitting with his girlfriend and starts yelling at him. However, we can't really hear what she's saying over the laughter. The poor guy just sits there laughing, rather than doing something cool. Mai goes back to her stool and sits calmly* back to you Sarah dahling. *audience gets the last laugh*
Tea: um . . . right. Well, now, over to our sportscaster, *thinks, smirk* Bluie *audience laughs, remembering Kaiba's Blue-eyes Plushie*
Ryou: *has been thinking for a minute* *opens his eyes really wide and smiles insanely, jumping around cutely. All the fangirls scream delightedly, attempting to run up and mass huggle him. However, they are held in their seats by some magnetic force set up by CPegasus. Ryou continues to do his impression, running around to all the cameras and looking cute*
Tea: that's very nice Bluie. So, you heard the man, bet on the Yankees. Again. *laughter* and finally, we turn you to our weatherman, Spanky McSpankpants *laughing is heard*
Joey: *growls a little at the name, but ignores it, and takes an invisible pointer out* well, we've got some hot weather coming in from the south, but I happen to think we've got something even hotter right here in the studio *raises eyebrows, very noticeably looking at Mai*
Mai: *rolls eyes* who hired *him*? *laughing is heard again*
Joey: of course, if one tropical fish doesn't bite, there's always another beauty just waiting to be caught *raises eyebrows again, this time at Tea*
Tea: *sighs, looks into the camera* hold on a second folks. *walks up calmly and faces Joey. She smiles, and he grins stupidly, staring at her in ways that are quite creepy. Tea takes this for about half a second, then smacks him. Hard. She walks back up to the camera* well, that's all the time we have today. Be sure to tune in again tomorrow. Trust us, he won't be here *audience laughs as the ending news music plays*
CPegasus: very nice, very nice, 2476 points to Ryou, 3481 to Mai, 6823 to Tea and 2 for Joey.
Joey: *pouts*
Sam: our next game is called Whose Line. Yes, we have a game called Whose Line on Whose Line. (yes, I stole it from Drew Carrey) you also know how this works, so I'll jump right into it. The scene is; Tea and Mai are teenage girls at a sleepover, talking and giggling the night away. *to CPegasus* hikari, you don't need to use the extra description on this fic.
CPegasus: but everyone tells me to be more descriptive! (they do)
Sam: I know, I know.
CPegasus: okay, Mai, Tea, here are your lines *hands them each a handful* and start!
Tea: okay, okay, you first, truth or dare.
Mai: truth
Tea: which of your boyfriends did you like most?
Mai: oh, that would be Brian. He always said the sweetest things. Like one time we were going home from a movie, and he looked me right in the eyes and said *paper* that's pig slop, that is. *laughter, Tea looks at her weird* we passed a manure field *Tea nods sympathetically* okay, your turn!
Tea: dare!
Mai: I dare you to kiss my brother!
Tea: ew, no! the last time I saw him, he told me *paper* hey there pop-n- fresh *laughter*
Mai: okay, fine. Then I dare you to call Jimmy and say *paper* the ninjas are coming, the ninjas are coming *laughter again* naw, that's stupid.
Tea: I'll say something else then *dials an imaginary phone* hey, Jimmy? Hi, I just called to say *paper* do you know the Muffin Man? *laughing is heard, strangely enough, yet again* *no, I DON'T know what that means* you do? Is he already out of banana nut? *laughter* oh okay, I won't waste my time then. Thanks Jimmy! *hangs up said imaginary phone*
Mai: this is a stupid game.
Tea: yeah . . .
Mai: y'wanna bake something?
Tea: oh, I dunno, my mom said *paper* I'm gonna take out your liver bones *laughter, quote credited to Ralph Wiggum* mostly we figure that means "you use the oven and I force you to baby-sit your Barney-loving cousin. *laughter again*
Mai: *wince* harsh. Okay, um . . . then let's go light stuff on fire
Tea: NO! *appalled*
CPegasus: *buzz buzz buzzzzzz*okay, that's enough of that, now isn't it? Thousand points each, lovely job girls. Now, normally we'd go to a commercial break now, but we've got a clip we want to show you, so here it is.
*clip*
Joey: *stands at an amusement park, staring at a map* you are here. *gasps* how do they *know*? *looks around* are they watching me? THEY ARE! *dives into an abandoned baby stroller nearby, pokes his head over the top* they're after me . . .
*end clip, audience is roaring*
CPegasus: XD that was great. Thanks Joey.
Joey: *growling* no problem
Sam: okay, it's time for a really fun new game called Show-Stopping Number! Goes a little something like this; Tea and Ryou are gonna act out a scene, with Joey coming in a little later. When CPegasus pushes the pretty buzzer button, they have to take the last thing they said and sing a show-stopping number about it.
CPegasus: okay, here's the scene. Tea and Ryou are workers at the local aquarium, covering the Sea Lion show. Joey will come in as their audience participant. And START!
Tea: okay, so there are several differences between a seal and a sea lion.
Ryou: *very fake gasp* there ARE? *laughter*
Tea: that's right Ryou. And we're gonna tell you about them *buzz, Tea giggles a little and starts dancing around pretty well, singing*
We're gonna tell you
About the different thingies
A seal and sea lion aren't the same
They have different ears
And different little legs
And seals never sat well with my brain! *laughing*
No I never liked those seals
Never ever liked those seals
Sea lions always liked me a bit more
Cause lions balance balls
And play their little tricks
While seals just slide across the floor! *music ends, Tea gets applauded*
Ryou: . . . I never knew you felt that way about the seals, Tea
Tea: yeah, well don't tell them. *laughter*
Ryou: okay, now how many of you have ever seen one of these shows before? Good, okay, that's fine. Now, it's time for the sea lions to do some tricks *buzz, music starts. Ryou blushes and sings*
It's time for the sea lions
To show us their tricks
This'll be great fun, oh joy! *laughter*
They'll tumble, and caper
And swim around
Bring happiness to every girl and boy!
They'll balance balls
And other things
And never let their fans down, NO!
Even if they died
And went to Seal Heaven,
They'd still come down to Earth to do their show! *music ends, Ryou takes a shy little bow*
Tea: alright, it's about time for our audience volunteer to come up! Who wants to pet a seal?
Joey: *running up* OOH! Me! Me! Pick me! *buzz, Joey jumps right into it*
Me! Me! Please pick me!
My life is not complete without that seal!
I need to pet it!
Please let me pet it!
And please, make sure that it's real *a little laughing*
I've had some bad encounters
With my furry stuffed toy friends
Let's just say it wasn't pretty
And bring this game to an end *audience laughs, CPegasus rolls eyes and buzzes to end the game*
CPegasus: very good. Y'know, we're having a special this week.
Ryou: really? Do tell.
CPegasus: yeah, one day of Whose Line, for only 299 points *minor laughing* Okay, next game is my personal fave, *pulls out a big old Musketeer hat with a big feather* Scenes From a Hat! Everyone knows how this one goes; I play it every time, so we'll just get started. Your first suggestion is: if Joey ruled the universe
Tea: breakfast: doughnuts. Lunch: doughnuts. Dinner: doughnuts *audience is laughing* *buzz* snacks: d- *buzz*
Joey: I, Joey "Ruler of All" Wheeler, hereby declare all fanfiction ILLEGAL! *laughter, Ryou cheers loudly*
CPegasus: I WILL NOT BE SILENCED! *everyone looks at her weirdly*
Sam: okay, *paper* what Ryou is thinking right now
Tea: man, I want some doughnuts *laughter*
CPegasus: okay, okay *paper* names that will get your dog beaten up by other dogs
Ryou: *whistles* here Beat-me-up! *laughter* here boy! *buzz*
Mai: c'mere Snookers! *buzz*
Ryou: Wimpy! Here boy! Come here Wimpy! *minor laughter*
Sam: science experiments that will be rejected
Joey: y'know, the only thing I could come up with is "the effects of gasoline. On fire" *laughter* (yes, stolen from Homestarrunner.com) *buzz*
Tea: I call it "what's inside a cat"! *laughter* *buzz*
CPegasus: what Mai is sick of hearing
Joey: *comes up, dragging Mai with him* hey HEY, how ya doing sugar? *Mai slaps him and walks off* ow . . .
Ryou: *goes up, also dragging Mai with him* so what's your *real* name? *laughter*
Mai: *pushes Ryou off the stage, taking it herself* I need you for a fanfiction *everyone laughs and cheers*
CPegasus: *buzz buzz buzzzzzz* okay, that's all the time we have for that! We'll be back with the winner right after this!
***
CPegasus: welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway; tonight's big winner is Tea! *Tea sits in the comfy chair. She smiles and waves. The audience claps, all the Tea-haters having been knocked out with RETD's new giant mallet* so that means everyone else gets to play a little game called World's Worst. The way this works is Tea will read off the card something, and we have to provide the world's worst examples of that thing. So Tea, what are we doing?
Tea: you're doing the World's Worst Christmas Present *laughter*
Joey: well, uh, I didn't *buy* you anything, but uh, there's the mistletoe *raises eyebrows. Mai goes up and slaps Joey*
Mai: I didn't buy anything either, but *there's* your present *laughter* *buzz*
CPegasus: *goes up, dragging Ryou with her* here ya go Ryou, give this gun to your Yami for me *laughter, buzz*
Ryou: here you go Marik: the Millennium Puzzle and all the God Cards! I know it's just what you always wanted! *laughing*
CPegasus: um . . . I got an Easter Egg for you *minor laughing*
Joey: . . . plaid socks?! WTF!? *laughing*
Mai: here Kaiba, all 3,013 episodes of Funny Bunny! On DVD! *everyone cracks up*
Tea: *buzz buzzzzzz buzz*
CPegasus: well that's all the time we have for today, join us next time on Whose Line is it Anyway!