Hey-lo and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway! Sorry I haven't done this in
so long; I've got a more serious action-y fic in the works and everything
else is kinda taking a backseat until that's over with (now, for some
subliminal messages. (YOU) know, it's kinda nice to sit sometimes and
decide what you (WILL) do during the day. I personally like to (READ) a
good book, but that's just (MY) opinion. Of course, (FANFICTION) is also a
lovely way to pass the time)
So, since I'm so busy, I've blackmail- I mean, persuaded Seto Kaiba to do the show tonight. That oughta be fun.
Note: ff.net has been having trouble with asterisks lately, so I've put tildes () where I would normally have asterisks. Hope that's not too confusing.
()()()()()()()()
CPegasus' pre-recorded voice: hello, and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway, let's meet our contestants for tonight!
The highest of the high, Isis Ishtar! (Isis waves from her chair)
The lowest of the high, Mokuba Kaiba! (Mokuba waves and blows kisses to his adoring audience)
The Upper-lower-middle class, Joey Wheeler! (Joey scowls up at the ceiling, where the voice is coming from, and then waves to his audience)
And dirt poor, we've got Rebecca Hawkins (Rebecca scowls to light applause)
And now, your host for tonight, Seto Kaiba!
(fangirls scream as we see Kaiba sitting in the comfy chair. He groans a little, and decides to just get this over with)
Kaiba: (sigh) welcome to Whose Line is it anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Let's get this over with.
(Kaiba gets a mild electric shock)
Kaiba: ow! What that hell was that about!?
CPegasus' pre-recorded voice: you have to say what the points are like. It's in the contract
Kaiba: (stunned) how did she know...?
CPegasus' Pre-recorded Voice: because I know how you act.
Isis: (raises one eyebrow) impressive.
Kaiba: (sigh) fine, the points are like Wheeler during one of Yugi's duels. Don't matter at all. (Joey growls) Now we're gonna get this started with a game called Change Letters. This is a new one for the show, so I'll explain the rules. The way this works is Wheeler, Mokuba and Isis are going to act out a scene. Catch is, they cannot say the letter S. They have to replace it with the letter L. Scene: Mokuba is the pilot of an airplane, who has enlisted Isis' help in annoying their snobby, rich private passenger, Joey. (laughter) take it away, can't say S, gotta say L.
Joey: (sits down on the step on the set and raises one hand) Lewardell! (pauses, then cracks up at himself)
Isis: (annoyed) Yel, lir? What il it thil time? (Isis receives laughter and cheers for pulling off even just the first line perfectly)
Joey: I want lome peanutl!
Isis: (smirks) Yel Lir. (walks over to where Mokuba has stationed himself on the ground to fly the plane. The audience 'awwww's seeing him)
Mokuba: what'l he want now?
Isis: Peanutl. (laughter) Lould I give it to him?
Mokuba: Wait until he calll you again. Then he'll get the peanutl. In the meantime...(he picks up an imaginary microphone) Attention Pallenger! There il no caule for alarm. Repeat, there il no caule for alarm. Everything il fine. (hysterical laughter, Mokuba puts down the mic) That'll hold him. (laughter, and I stole it from Monty Python.)
Joey: (imitates the sound of an airplane bell) ding ding ding! Lewardell!
Isis: (sighs, goes back over to Joey) What il it lir?
Joey: I want lome peanutl! You were lupolled to get me peanutl!
Isis: (getting an idea) I already gave you your peanutl, lir.
Joey: you did not!
Isis: I'm afraid I certainly did, lir. You mult be imagining thingl. (she leaves and walks back over to Mokuba, while the audience laughs at Joey's bemused expression)
Mokuba: very nice, very nice indeed.
(buzzzzzz)
Kaiba: alright, that's quite enough of that. (Kaiba again receives a mild electric shock)I WAS GONNA GIVE OUT THE DAMN POINTS! (he composes himself) alright then, 10 to Wheeler, 100 to Isis and 1000 to Mokuba. Next game is called Narrate. This one's for Wheeler and Isis. The way this works is these two are going to act out a climactic scene from a Film Noir. So, what we need from the audience is an unlikely place for this scene to take place.
Audience: pet store! Funeral! Public Bathroom!
Kaiba: I liked pet store, if only to keep it somewhat appropriate, so we'll go with that. Wheeler, Ishtar, whenever you're ready.
(Film Noir music starts to play. Joey stands in one place while Isis walks up to the camera)
Isis: I'd been following him from job to job for years. He had answers, answers I needed. Finally, I had him. (Isis walks over to Joey) I need a bag of birdseed.
Joey: (walks dramatically to the camera) Yeah, I knew she was following me, she had a good reason to. (walks back to Isis) kay sure. (pretends to get something from behind him) that'll be 2 dollars.
Isis: okay. (walks to the camera) I didn't need any birdseed. I don't have a bird. I was just stalling. I was nervous. I should have been, he wasn't wearing any pants. (audience roars with laughter, Isis walks back to where Joey is)
Joey: I know what you really want. (he walks to the camera) I had no idea what she really wanted (audience laughs again, he walks back)
Isis: okay, so tell me. How much wood COULD a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (laughter)
Joey: (walking to the camera) I thought maybe she was talking in some kinda code. (back to Isis) well Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!
Isis: (to the camera) I thought maybe he was talking in some kinda code (laughter, to Joey) alright, enough playing around! I know you're my...mother's cousin's ...aunt's... brother, so where did my mom hide the treasure?
Joey: alright Isis, it's time you knew. Your mother was.........a hamster.
Isis: NOOOOOOO! (laughter) wait, what?
Joey: I'm afraid it's true. But she loved you anyway, so she left the secret to the treasure to me to tell to you. (to the camera) you following this? (laughter)
Isis: (walks up to the camera and peers in) who are we talking to anyway, Joey? (laughter)
Kaiba: okay, I think we've had enough of that for one lifetime. Thousand points each, and I gratefully yield to the commercial break.
(ooh, look at me! I'm a scary commercial break! I wanna poison your mind and make you buy things! I interrupt your program! WELL NOT TODAY!)
Kaiba: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway, we're already about halfway through the game. Hey, I hear Wheeler's got a new show started. (scattered murmurs) yeah, it's a mix between Ripley's Believe it or Not and World's Stupidest People. Called "Believe it or not, I'm the world's stupidest person. (scattered chuckles) what?
Rebecca: that may have been the world's stupidest pun. (a few cheers for Rebecca)
Kaiba: --; fine, the next game is called Quick Change, this is for Rebecca and Mokuba, with Isis standing over here by me. (someone in the audience gives a catcall) SHUT THE F()()() UP TRISTAN! (everyone else laughs, Kaiba composes himself) so Mokuba and Rebecca are going to act out a scene, and every so often Isis will call out 'Change' and whoever is speaking has to change whatever they just said. Mokuba, you are Rebecca's classmate, and you're trying to cheat off her test. Game is quick change, start when you're ready.
(Mokuba and Rebecca drag their chairs up to the stage and sit next to each other. They both pretend to be writing something down, and Mokuba starts to peek over at Rebecca's non-paper)
Rebecca: hey, quit it!
Mokuba: (ooking back at his paper) I'm not doing anything. (he leans over again)
Rebecca: stop looking at my paper!
Isis: change!
Rebecca: stop looking down my shirt! (audience roars)
Isis: please change.
Rebecca: stop looking at my paper!
Isis: that's good. (laughter)
Mokuba: (looking back at his paper again) I'm not! (he stands up, walks to where Rebecca is sitting and leans over her shoulder to much laughter and applause)
Rebecca: stop it!
Mokuba: I think that answer's wrong (laughter)
Isis: change!
Mokuba: I think you're too fussy
Isis: change!
Mokuba: I think you're hot (audience explodes with the laughing, and Kaiba puts his head in his hands)
Rebecca: (jumps up and slaps Mokuba- for real) you're a pig!
Isis: (having a lot of fun by now) change!
Rebecca: you're a jerk
Isis: change!
Rebecca: you're ugly
Mokuba: (blows a raspberry)
Isis: change
Mokuba: nyeh!
Isis: change!
Mokuba: thanks! (laughter)
Rebecca: you're impossible. Now let me finish my test!
Mokuba: alright, alright...
(both of them sit down again, and Mokuba leans over to look at Rebecca's non-paper. The audience laughs)
Kaiba: (buzzzzzz) game over. Now. Isis, you get 1000 points and you can go sit down. Rebecca, you can have 1000 points as well. Mokuba, you're not allowed to date until you're sixteen. (audience laughs)
Mokuba: -- aww...
Kaiba: Okay, moving along, next game is called Party Quirks. We all know how this one works, Wheeler's the one hosting the party, start whenever.
Joey: (setting up for the non-party) okay, food, check. Drinks, check. Music check check and check!
SFX: Ding-dong
(Joey opens the non-door to Rebecca)
Rebecca: (caption; has a curse that makes her fall down all the time) oh, hello! It's ever so nice of you to have invited me, with my...condition...and all... (she walks through the non-doorway and instantly falls down)
Joey: (helps her up) you okay?
Rebecca: fine, fine, (falls again)
SFX: Ding-dong
Joey: yeah uh, just hang out there and I'll be right back
Rebecca: (from the floor) okay! (laughter)
Joey: (opening the non-door to Mokuba) hey Mokuba
Mokuba: (is an evil sheep) BAAAAAAA! (runs in with fingers curled around his ears, to show horns, running into things and jumping "on" Rebecca)
Rebecca: (getting stage-jumped on) ow....ow...ow..
Mokuba: BAAA! BAA! BAA!
Joey: No way! I dun wanna sheep here. (nothing happens) erm...devil sheep?
Kaiba: close enough. (buzz, Mokuba leaves)
Rebecca: (stands up, and instantly falls down again. Audience laughs)
SFX: ding-dong
Joey: (opens door)
Isis: (the magician who put the curse on Rebecca. Audience laughs to read it)
Rebecca: (stands up again, pointing at Isis) YOU!
Isis: oh (r4p I forgot about you! (a/n: l33t censorship to protect young, non l33t minds)
Rebecca: you were supposed to take this away a year ago! (starts walking over to Isis, but falls again)
Joey: aha! (points to Rebecca) you've got some sorta weird spell or something, and she gave it to ya! (pointing to Isis now)
Kaiba: ...(shocked that Joey got it, he composes himself) very good Wheeler, it only took you far too long. (Joey growls) down, boy. (scattered laughs) hm, guess it's only funny once. Anyway, hundred points to each of you, and FINALLY it's the last commercial.
(.....yeah.)
Kaiba: welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway, tonight's winner is Mokuba, as if anyone had any doubt.
Mokuba: (sits in the duplicate comfy chair, smiling)
Kaiba: and so finally, we come to our last-
CPegasus, off-screen: helloo! I'm back! (she comes into view, randomly in beach apparel, accompanied by Sam)
Kaiba: good. (gets up and starts to leave, making the mistake of walking past CPegasus, who grabs the end of his trenchcoat playfully to stop him)
CPegasus: where're ya going?
Kaiba: away. (tries to pull his coat back, but she won't let go.)
CPegasus: uh-uh, Kaiba, you've gotta be in the last game with me!
Kaiba: why?
CPegasus: because I said so.
Kaiba: ....(sighs, and goes to the stage with CPegasus. Sam takes over the comfy chair)
Sam: okay, time for tonight's last game. And if you've been reading this far, I think you know what it is. We're playing Scenes From a Hat. (audience cheers, so does CPegasus.) So, you all know how this works but if your minds are as addled as hers, I should explain it again. We asked our audience to write down suggestions of things they wanted our contestants to act out. We took the good ones and put them in his hat (holding up that hat from the Harry Potter series, with the stuffed vulture on top) gotta ask her where she buys these, and make sure she never, EVER goes there again. (audience laughs) Anyway, now I get to pull the good ones out and make them play the game. So Kaiba and the losers, on the stage. Hikari, get back here.
CPegasus: kay. (skips to a third comfy chair, that just appeared)
Sam: -.- ignore her, I don't know either. (laughter) okay, so let's get started with "What you're not likely to hear on the supermarket intercom"
Joey: Attention customers, the store will be closed for the next hour, as all of the staff will be watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire. (laughter)
Rebecca: attention shoppers, a giant clam is on an emotional rampage. Please scream and run around in circles (laughter, and extra laughing at Kaiba's grimace)
Sam: okay, (new paper) who the Devil REALLY is. (laughter)
Kaiba: (smirks, walks onstage, and gets buzzed frantically by Cpegasus) I didn't even say anything!
CPegasus: (pouting) but you were thinking it.
Sam: (sigh) let's try again...the title of Kaiba's new autobiography. This should be good.
Joey: (walks up, pulls a non-existent book off a non-existent shelf) the rich bstard's guide to the universe (laughter, Joey makes a face at Kaiba)
Isis: (same non-existent stuff) I should have listened to my mother and become a writer. (mild laughter)
Joey: (up again) Seto Kaiba: if only I were really a man (Kaiba grits his teeth, audience laughs hysterically)
Sam: right, more than enough of that. Rejected names for football.
Rebecca: soccer. (laughter)
Kaiba: life-insurance-required-ball (scattered laughs)
Joey: pig-throwin' (pity laughs) aw c'mon, it wasn't THAT bad...
Kaiba: yes it was, Wheeler.
Sam: alright, alright already. One more. Where the Brave fear to tread.
Rebecca: hello, welcome to the set of Barney, we'll begin taping momentarily (laughter and screams, as those with overactive imaginations are forced to see horrible things)
Sam: (buzz buzzz) I think that about sums it up.
CPegasus: (still laughing) yup. (calms down) now, before we go, I have an announcement to make. There will only be one more chapter of this fic.
(gasps all around)
CPegasus: I'm sorry to disappoint anyone, but it's just too hard to come up with really, genuinely funny things anymore. I've decided to officially end my humor fics, and focus more on drama and action. I totally appreciate all the support I've gotten from my readers, so I'll do one more chapter. Remember to send in your suggestions, because that'll definitely make it easier. I'll play as many games as I need to in order to use all the things I get, and I'll try to put in extra characters, and let readers show up. I've had a lot of fun writing, and I hope you all have had fun reading. So I'll see you one more time! Bye for now!
So, since I'm so busy, I've blackmail- I mean, persuaded Seto Kaiba to do the show tonight. That oughta be fun.
Note: ff.net has been having trouble with asterisks lately, so I've put tildes () where I would normally have asterisks. Hope that's not too confusing.
()()()()()()()()
CPegasus' pre-recorded voice: hello, and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway, let's meet our contestants for tonight!
The highest of the high, Isis Ishtar! (Isis waves from her chair)
The lowest of the high, Mokuba Kaiba! (Mokuba waves and blows kisses to his adoring audience)
The Upper-lower-middle class, Joey Wheeler! (Joey scowls up at the ceiling, where the voice is coming from, and then waves to his audience)
And dirt poor, we've got Rebecca Hawkins (Rebecca scowls to light applause)
And now, your host for tonight, Seto Kaiba!
(fangirls scream as we see Kaiba sitting in the comfy chair. He groans a little, and decides to just get this over with)
Kaiba: (sigh) welcome to Whose Line is it anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Let's get this over with.
(Kaiba gets a mild electric shock)
Kaiba: ow! What that hell was that about!?
CPegasus' pre-recorded voice: you have to say what the points are like. It's in the contract
Kaiba: (stunned) how did she know...?
CPegasus' Pre-recorded Voice: because I know how you act.
Isis: (raises one eyebrow) impressive.
Kaiba: (sigh) fine, the points are like Wheeler during one of Yugi's duels. Don't matter at all. (Joey growls) Now we're gonna get this started with a game called Change Letters. This is a new one for the show, so I'll explain the rules. The way this works is Wheeler, Mokuba and Isis are going to act out a scene. Catch is, they cannot say the letter S. They have to replace it with the letter L. Scene: Mokuba is the pilot of an airplane, who has enlisted Isis' help in annoying their snobby, rich private passenger, Joey. (laughter) take it away, can't say S, gotta say L.
Joey: (sits down on the step on the set and raises one hand) Lewardell! (pauses, then cracks up at himself)
Isis: (annoyed) Yel, lir? What il it thil time? (Isis receives laughter and cheers for pulling off even just the first line perfectly)
Joey: I want lome peanutl!
Isis: (smirks) Yel Lir. (walks over to where Mokuba has stationed himself on the ground to fly the plane. The audience 'awwww's seeing him)
Mokuba: what'l he want now?
Isis: Peanutl. (laughter) Lould I give it to him?
Mokuba: Wait until he calll you again. Then he'll get the peanutl. In the meantime...(he picks up an imaginary microphone) Attention Pallenger! There il no caule for alarm. Repeat, there il no caule for alarm. Everything il fine. (hysterical laughter, Mokuba puts down the mic) That'll hold him. (laughter, and I stole it from Monty Python.)
Joey: (imitates the sound of an airplane bell) ding ding ding! Lewardell!
Isis: (sighs, goes back over to Joey) What il it lir?
Joey: I want lome peanutl! You were lupolled to get me peanutl!
Isis: (getting an idea) I already gave you your peanutl, lir.
Joey: you did not!
Isis: I'm afraid I certainly did, lir. You mult be imagining thingl. (she leaves and walks back over to Mokuba, while the audience laughs at Joey's bemused expression)
Mokuba: very nice, very nice indeed.
(buzzzzzz)
Kaiba: alright, that's quite enough of that. (Kaiba again receives a mild electric shock)I WAS GONNA GIVE OUT THE DAMN POINTS! (he composes himself) alright then, 10 to Wheeler, 100 to Isis and 1000 to Mokuba. Next game is called Narrate. This one's for Wheeler and Isis. The way this works is these two are going to act out a climactic scene from a Film Noir. So, what we need from the audience is an unlikely place for this scene to take place.
Audience: pet store! Funeral! Public Bathroom!
Kaiba: I liked pet store, if only to keep it somewhat appropriate, so we'll go with that. Wheeler, Ishtar, whenever you're ready.
(Film Noir music starts to play. Joey stands in one place while Isis walks up to the camera)
Isis: I'd been following him from job to job for years. He had answers, answers I needed. Finally, I had him. (Isis walks over to Joey) I need a bag of birdseed.
Joey: (walks dramatically to the camera) Yeah, I knew she was following me, she had a good reason to. (walks back to Isis) kay sure. (pretends to get something from behind him) that'll be 2 dollars.
Isis: okay. (walks to the camera) I didn't need any birdseed. I don't have a bird. I was just stalling. I was nervous. I should have been, he wasn't wearing any pants. (audience roars with laughter, Isis walks back to where Joey is)
Joey: I know what you really want. (he walks to the camera) I had no idea what she really wanted (audience laughs again, he walks back)
Isis: okay, so tell me. How much wood COULD a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (laughter)
Joey: (walking to the camera) I thought maybe she was talking in some kinda code. (back to Isis) well Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!
Isis: (to the camera) I thought maybe he was talking in some kinda code (laughter, to Joey) alright, enough playing around! I know you're my...mother's cousin's ...aunt's... brother, so where did my mom hide the treasure?
Joey: alright Isis, it's time you knew. Your mother was.........a hamster.
Isis: NOOOOOOO! (laughter) wait, what?
Joey: I'm afraid it's true. But she loved you anyway, so she left the secret to the treasure to me to tell to you. (to the camera) you following this? (laughter)
Isis: (walks up to the camera and peers in) who are we talking to anyway, Joey? (laughter)
Kaiba: okay, I think we've had enough of that for one lifetime. Thousand points each, and I gratefully yield to the commercial break.
(ooh, look at me! I'm a scary commercial break! I wanna poison your mind and make you buy things! I interrupt your program! WELL NOT TODAY!)
Kaiba: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway, we're already about halfway through the game. Hey, I hear Wheeler's got a new show started. (scattered murmurs) yeah, it's a mix between Ripley's Believe it or Not and World's Stupidest People. Called "Believe it or not, I'm the world's stupidest person. (scattered chuckles) what?
Rebecca: that may have been the world's stupidest pun. (a few cheers for Rebecca)
Kaiba: --; fine, the next game is called Quick Change, this is for Rebecca and Mokuba, with Isis standing over here by me. (someone in the audience gives a catcall) SHUT THE F()()() UP TRISTAN! (everyone else laughs, Kaiba composes himself) so Mokuba and Rebecca are going to act out a scene, and every so often Isis will call out 'Change' and whoever is speaking has to change whatever they just said. Mokuba, you are Rebecca's classmate, and you're trying to cheat off her test. Game is quick change, start when you're ready.
(Mokuba and Rebecca drag their chairs up to the stage and sit next to each other. They both pretend to be writing something down, and Mokuba starts to peek over at Rebecca's non-paper)
Rebecca: hey, quit it!
Mokuba: (ooking back at his paper) I'm not doing anything. (he leans over again)
Rebecca: stop looking at my paper!
Isis: change!
Rebecca: stop looking down my shirt! (audience roars)
Isis: please change.
Rebecca: stop looking at my paper!
Isis: that's good. (laughter)
Mokuba: (looking back at his paper again) I'm not! (he stands up, walks to where Rebecca is sitting and leans over her shoulder to much laughter and applause)
Rebecca: stop it!
Mokuba: I think that answer's wrong (laughter)
Isis: change!
Mokuba: I think you're too fussy
Isis: change!
Mokuba: I think you're hot (audience explodes with the laughing, and Kaiba puts his head in his hands)
Rebecca: (jumps up and slaps Mokuba- for real) you're a pig!
Isis: (having a lot of fun by now) change!
Rebecca: you're a jerk
Isis: change!
Rebecca: you're ugly
Mokuba: (blows a raspberry)
Isis: change
Mokuba: nyeh!
Isis: change!
Mokuba: thanks! (laughter)
Rebecca: you're impossible. Now let me finish my test!
Mokuba: alright, alright...
(both of them sit down again, and Mokuba leans over to look at Rebecca's non-paper. The audience laughs)
Kaiba: (buzzzzzz) game over. Now. Isis, you get 1000 points and you can go sit down. Rebecca, you can have 1000 points as well. Mokuba, you're not allowed to date until you're sixteen. (audience laughs)
Mokuba: -- aww...
Kaiba: Okay, moving along, next game is called Party Quirks. We all know how this one works, Wheeler's the one hosting the party, start whenever.
Joey: (setting up for the non-party) okay, food, check. Drinks, check. Music check check and check!
SFX: Ding-dong
(Joey opens the non-door to Rebecca)
Rebecca: (caption; has a curse that makes her fall down all the time) oh, hello! It's ever so nice of you to have invited me, with my...condition...and all... (she walks through the non-doorway and instantly falls down)
Joey: (helps her up) you okay?
Rebecca: fine, fine, (falls again)
SFX: Ding-dong
Joey: yeah uh, just hang out there and I'll be right back
Rebecca: (from the floor) okay! (laughter)
Joey: (opening the non-door to Mokuba) hey Mokuba
Mokuba: (is an evil sheep) BAAAAAAA! (runs in with fingers curled around his ears, to show horns, running into things and jumping "on" Rebecca)
Rebecca: (getting stage-jumped on) ow....ow...ow..
Mokuba: BAAA! BAA! BAA!
Joey: No way! I dun wanna sheep here. (nothing happens) erm...devil sheep?
Kaiba: close enough. (buzz, Mokuba leaves)
Rebecca: (stands up, and instantly falls down again. Audience laughs)
SFX: ding-dong
Joey: (opens door)
Isis: (the magician who put the curse on Rebecca. Audience laughs to read it)
Rebecca: (stands up again, pointing at Isis) YOU!
Isis: oh (r4p I forgot about you! (a/n: l33t censorship to protect young, non l33t minds)
Rebecca: you were supposed to take this away a year ago! (starts walking over to Isis, but falls again)
Joey: aha! (points to Rebecca) you've got some sorta weird spell or something, and she gave it to ya! (pointing to Isis now)
Kaiba: ...(shocked that Joey got it, he composes himself) very good Wheeler, it only took you far too long. (Joey growls) down, boy. (scattered laughs) hm, guess it's only funny once. Anyway, hundred points to each of you, and FINALLY it's the last commercial.
(.....yeah.)
Kaiba: welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway, tonight's winner is Mokuba, as if anyone had any doubt.
Mokuba: (sits in the duplicate comfy chair, smiling)
Kaiba: and so finally, we come to our last-
CPegasus, off-screen: helloo! I'm back! (she comes into view, randomly in beach apparel, accompanied by Sam)
Kaiba: good. (gets up and starts to leave, making the mistake of walking past CPegasus, who grabs the end of his trenchcoat playfully to stop him)
CPegasus: where're ya going?
Kaiba: away. (tries to pull his coat back, but she won't let go.)
CPegasus: uh-uh, Kaiba, you've gotta be in the last game with me!
Kaiba: why?
CPegasus: because I said so.
Kaiba: ....(sighs, and goes to the stage with CPegasus. Sam takes over the comfy chair)
Sam: okay, time for tonight's last game. And if you've been reading this far, I think you know what it is. We're playing Scenes From a Hat. (audience cheers, so does CPegasus.) So, you all know how this works but if your minds are as addled as hers, I should explain it again. We asked our audience to write down suggestions of things they wanted our contestants to act out. We took the good ones and put them in his hat (holding up that hat from the Harry Potter series, with the stuffed vulture on top) gotta ask her where she buys these, and make sure she never, EVER goes there again. (audience laughs) Anyway, now I get to pull the good ones out and make them play the game. So Kaiba and the losers, on the stage. Hikari, get back here.
CPegasus: kay. (skips to a third comfy chair, that just appeared)
Sam: -.- ignore her, I don't know either. (laughter) okay, so let's get started with "What you're not likely to hear on the supermarket intercom"
Joey: Attention customers, the store will be closed for the next hour, as all of the staff will be watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire. (laughter)
Rebecca: attention shoppers, a giant clam is on an emotional rampage. Please scream and run around in circles (laughter, and extra laughing at Kaiba's grimace)
Sam: okay, (new paper) who the Devil REALLY is. (laughter)
Kaiba: (smirks, walks onstage, and gets buzzed frantically by Cpegasus) I didn't even say anything!
CPegasus: (pouting) but you were thinking it.
Sam: (sigh) let's try again...the title of Kaiba's new autobiography. This should be good.
Joey: (walks up, pulls a non-existent book off a non-existent shelf) the rich bstard's guide to the universe (laughter, Joey makes a face at Kaiba)
Isis: (same non-existent stuff) I should have listened to my mother and become a writer. (mild laughter)
Joey: (up again) Seto Kaiba: if only I were really a man (Kaiba grits his teeth, audience laughs hysterically)
Sam: right, more than enough of that. Rejected names for football.
Rebecca: soccer. (laughter)
Kaiba: life-insurance-required-ball (scattered laughs)
Joey: pig-throwin' (pity laughs) aw c'mon, it wasn't THAT bad...
Kaiba: yes it was, Wheeler.
Sam: alright, alright already. One more. Where the Brave fear to tread.
Rebecca: hello, welcome to the set of Barney, we'll begin taping momentarily (laughter and screams, as those with overactive imaginations are forced to see horrible things)
Sam: (buzz buzzz) I think that about sums it up.
CPegasus: (still laughing) yup. (calms down) now, before we go, I have an announcement to make. There will only be one more chapter of this fic.
(gasps all around)
CPegasus: I'm sorry to disappoint anyone, but it's just too hard to come up with really, genuinely funny things anymore. I've decided to officially end my humor fics, and focus more on drama and action. I totally appreciate all the support I've gotten from my readers, so I'll do one more chapter. Remember to send in your suggestions, because that'll definitely make it easier. I'll play as many games as I need to in order to use all the things I get, and I'll try to put in extra characters, and let readers show up. I've had a lot of fun writing, and I hope you all have had fun reading. So I'll see you one more time! Bye for now!