Title: Defying Fate

Rating: PG

This one's harmless.

Summary: Remus has been acting oddly around Sirius for some time now. When matters come to a head, though, will he have the courage to tell the truth? (Trust me, it's not what you're thinking.)

Disclaimer: I'm J. K. Rowling. That is, of course, why I am spending my time publishing completely non-canon fanfics on instead of doing something productive with my time. That was sarcasm, by the way.

Right. I was bored, and this idea popped into my head. Again, I assure you it's not what you first thought when you read the summary. There's a reason this is under parody. Okay, enough of my extreme mystical-ness, on to the story! Set in the Marauders' sixth year.

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It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was shining on the lake, the full moon had passed a week ago, and there were no Slytherins in sight. This, Remus Lupin decided as he lounged by the lake with his fellow Marauders, was the only way to spend a weekend at Hogwarts.

He cast an appraising glance over his three companions. James was leaning against a tree, staring dreamily off into space. He was, as usual, rhapsodizing about Evans. This meant, of course, that he was being tuned out by the rest of his friends.

" – looks like a fire goddess, with her red hair sparkling down her back like a waterfall, don't you guys agree? She's perfection, absolute perfection; it wouldn't be possible for any girl to rival her in beauty… Right Remus?"

Remus smiled vacantly and made some polite, noncommittal sound. This wasn't the first time he had heard about the fair Lily's virtues, and he was certain it wouldn't be the last. This was all old, and Peter was the only one still making any pretense of listening to their love-struck friend. James would gladly seize on any audience, however small, if he was given a chance when he was in this mood.

Remus turned his gaze to Sirius. Sirius was quite clearly bored with James, and he was choosing to show his boredom by dropping strands of grass into James' hair and down the back of the oblivious boy's robes. Catching Remus' eye, he winked conspiratorially.

Remus grinned back, trying to ignore the peculiar feeling that was rising in his chest. This had been happening a lot around Sirius lately. The two boys had originally been quite easy in each other's company, but ever since partway through their last year, things had been becoming more and more awkward. Remus found himself doing everything he could to avoid coming into physical contact with Sirius, and he half-fancied that Sirius was doing the same. He wondered, briefly, if Sirius could be feeling the same as him lately, then dismissed it as unlikely. It could not be; Remus feared that Fate would bring him to the destiny he was trying to avoid.

Remus gave himself a mental shake as the spring sun became duller in his eyes. Don't be ridiculous, Remus, he told himself. You know the way you should be feeling, damnit! Just give yourself time, you'll come around.

" – ever noticed how perfect her ears are? They're just… perfect. They're beautiful, just like the rest of her. Have you ever seen any ears more perfect than hers?" James continued to list out Lily's virtues in a dreamy tone. By now, even Peter was having difficulty in pretending interest in this stream of information, and Sirius had pulled up so much grass to dump on James' head that there was a decent-sized patch of grass-less dirt next to him.

"Right, that's enough," Sirius said, interrupting James rudely. "One more word about how bloody wonderful Evans is, and I'm dumping a dungbomb down your robes instead of grass."

"What?" said James peevishly. "Instead of – Sirius! What the hell is your problem? It itches!" He jumped up, scratching at his back to try and get the offending grass out of his robes. He glared fiercely at his fellow prankster.

"Come on, Prongs. Knowing Padfoot, you should just be glad it wasn't something worse. Like a scorpion. Or a biting teacup," Remus pointed out, coming to Sirius' rescue. "And he's right, you know. One more word about Evans and we will go stark raving mad."

James threw up his hands in disgust. "You lot have no appreciation for beauty. I wash my hands of you!"

"We're not saying that Lily isn't wonderful, James," Peter put in, ever the peace maker. "We've just heard all of this before. And we are bored. Couldn't we do something else? I mean, we have a whole free day to ourselves before we have to worry about homework. It's Saturday! We should have some fun!"

Remus sighed in mock dismay. "I don't suppose I'd have any luck in convincing you that it might not be wise to put off our entire load of homework until tomorrow? I mean, Professor McGonagall assigned us two feet on Animagi, and Professor Sinistra gave us another two feet on some planet's moons…" He trailed off, recognizing the identical grins on James and Sirius' faces.

"Do mine ears deceive me?" Sirius gasped, clutching at his heart. "Or is a Marauder seriously suggesting that we do homework on a Saturday? Alas! I grow faint!" He pretended to swoon into James' arms. James helpfully dumped him on the ground.

"Come on, Moony," Peter pleaded. "Don't go making us feel guilty. It's not like we're going to have any trouble with McGonagall's work, after all…"

"Keep your voice down!" reminded James. "But he's right, you know. They both are. It's a Saturday, the day is young, and we have nothing to keep us from the noble business of Marauding!" Offering Sirius a hand back up from the ground, he linked arms with him and Remus and practically skipped towards the castle, Peter following closely. "I've got some stuff from Zonko's in the dorm, and I'm sure we could find a way to put it to good use… It must be so lonely sitting there, all by itself, feeling so useless…"

Remus shook his head, but in his heart, he couldn't help but agree with James. Under the bright, blue, Saturday sky, he couldn't imagine himself sitting down to some tedious essays. The weekend was still young, after all; there was plenty of time for homework tomorrow.

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By late Sunday night, though, as the Marauders feverishly tried to complete the loads of homework that had suddenly seemingly tripled in amount, all four boys were heartily wishing that they had taken Remus' advice. Despite Peter's reassurances, the Animagi essay had taken a fair bit of research, and Remus had only remembered that they were supposed to practice some of their latest Charms incantations at 9:30. For neither the first nor the last time, the Marauders were pulling a very late Sunday night.

Remus in particular was having difficulty staying awake, although he was not sure why. Just my lycanthropy acting up again, he thought to himself with regret. He rubbed his eyes and suddenly realised that he had been staring at the same spot on one of the lunar charts he was using for several minutes. He gave himself a shake in an attempt to wake his tired brain up.

Thud!

Remus, Peter, and Sirius all jumped as James forcefully closed a large book with an altogether too satisfied look on his face. "Well, I'm done," he said, giving the other three a tired grin. "I'm off to bed. See you guys in the morning." He grabbed his completed essays and trudged off up the stairs to the dorm. Sirius muttered something uncomplimentary under his breath and turned back to his nearly-complete essay. Remus followed suit, but Peter hesitated, staring after James.

Finally, he stood up decisively. "I'm going to b-b-bed too," he yawned. "I'm just too tired. I'm almost done, I'll finish tomorrow before class." He waved at Sirius and Remus and followed in James's footsteps.

Remus squashed an urge to copy Peter's actions. He had already passed the two-foot minimum length on his essay, all he had to do now was finish this last paragraph and then write a conclusion. That was all. It wouldn't take much time. Remus resolutely dipped his quill into the ink and set quill to parchment, determined to finish as quickly as possible.

Twenty minutes later, he tossed down the quill and leaned back. It was only then that he noticed Sirius' eyes. Sirius was staring at him. An uncomfortable prickle ran down the back of his neck. Remus swallowed. "Um… Padfoot?" he asked.

Sirius quickly looked away, looking – was he really? Oh god… - embarrassed. Remus searched for something to say to lighten the tension, but was unable to think of a single intelligent word. He was, all of a sudden, much less tired.

After an awkward silence, Sirius spoke. "So. We should go to sleep then. It's late." He carefully avoided Remus' eyes.

"Yeah," Remus agreed. He quickly stood up and pulled his scattered assignments and books toward him. Sirius bit his lip and stood up as well. As Remus turned to hurry up into the dorms, out of the danger zone, though, his foot caught on the rug and he spilled everything he was carrying onto the rug.

"Bloody – Oh, damn it." Remus was very aware of Sirius' gaze on him as he kneeled to pick up the mess. Nevertheless, it still surprised him when the dark-haired boy bent to help him.

As Remus stood up again, carefully not looking at Sirius and trying to rearrange his load into a more manageable form, Sirius gently touched his arm. Remus almost dropped everything again, jerking his head around to face Sirius.

Sirius' face was hesitant, showing more nervousness than anything else. Remus just stared at him, his own mind a complete blank. A solitary thought chased itself around in his head: This can't be happening, it can't, it can't. Sirius opened his mouth.

"Remus…" he said. And leaned in.

Remus leapt to his feet in a panic, pulling his arm away from Sirius. "Important test tomorrow – have to get my sleep – got to go –" he gasped, and practically ran for the staircase. Reaching it, he took the steps two at a time and burst into his room. Fortunately, both James and Peter were already asleep and did not awaken. Remus quietly dropped his things on the floor next to his bed and collapsed onto it. He could not believe what had just happened to him.

What was Sirius doing, he wondered. He couldn't have been… He's not… He wouldn't… Remus shivered. He pulled on his pajamas as fast as humanly possible and pulled the curtains shut around his bed. Then he lay there, staring at the red velvet, lost in thought after confusing thought. After about ten minutes, he heard Sirius enter the dorm. He held his breath, fearing some sort of confrontation, but Sirius simply got into his own bed.

It was a long time before either of them fell asleep.

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The next morning, despite the fact that he had gotten very little sleep, Remus arose early. He showered and dressed and was out of the dorm before any of the others had awakened. He took refuge in the library, confidant that Sirius wouldn't pursue him in here, if those were his intentions. Sirius never entered the library except in dire emergencies.

Feeling the most relaxed he had since yesterday afternoon, Remus settled into his favourite chair and pulled up a book. A nice textbook that he would have to pay complete attention to in order to understand it. He would have no left-over brain to worry about… anything.

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James yawned and stretched, groaning at the thought of a new week of classes. He grabbed for his glasses and focused on the clock. As usual, he was running slightly late. With another groan, James climbed out of bed. Remus' bed is empty, he noted. Maybe he had to go to the library to look up something else for his homework. He dismissed the concerns he was starting to form about Remus' behavior lately, especially around Sirius. No need to jump to conclusions, he admonished himself. Even if it is kind of obvious.

James grabbed one of Remus' pillows off of the nicely made bed and chucked it through Sirius' curtains. "Wake up call, my sleeping beauties!" he called. Although he hated getting up himself, James loved waking his roommates up whenever they overslept him. "It's another be-yootiful day!" Sirius muttered something, probably a curse. James grabbed his robes for the day and headed for the showers, jerking Peter's curtains open wide to the early morning light as he went. Peter gave a muffled yell through his pillow. James grinned as he headed in to the showers. It was a good day to be a Marauder.

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Sirius was rudely awoken by a pillow smashing into his face. "Wake up call, my sleeping beauties!" James's voice rang through the room. "It's another be-yootiful day!"

"Sod off Prongs, you idiot," mumbled Sirius, glaring at his friend's retreating back. He examined the pillow he had just gained, fully intending to put it to its intended use and go back to sleep. Then he recognized it. Remus' pillow… Sirius sat up abruptly as he remembered last night's events.

He groaned to himself. You definitely botched that one, Padfoot old boy. Definitely the wrong thing to do. You know you can do better. What's wrong with me?

Sirius ended his introspection and got out of bed, carefully replacing Remus' pillow on the werewolf's bed. He jumped as Peter's voice rang out blearily behind him.

"Hey Padfoot… What're you doing with Moony's pillow?"

"None of your bloody business," growled Sirius. He grabbed his own robes and set off moodily to the showers. He wondered where Remus was. Probably the library. He knows I don't go in there if I can help it… And after last night… Should I go in after him? He turned on the hot water violently, trying to drown away his problems and worries in the steaming stream. It didn't work.

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"Wake up call, my sleeping beauties! It's another be-yootiful day!" Peter stifled a moan as James cheerfully broke into the pleasant dream he'd been having. He had won something… Someone was pleased with the help he had given them, and he had been rewarded… His hazy memories were cut straight through by a giant burst of light. Peter yelled into his pillows, but rubbed his eyes and sat up. He sat for a minute and blinked lazily until Sirius got out of his bed. Squinting against the light, Peter saw him placing one of Remus' pillows on Remus' bed. "Hey Padfoot," he said sleepily. "What're you doing with Moony's pillow?"

Sirius jumped and turned sharply to glare at him with more than his usual early morning annoyance. "None of your bloody business." He grabbed his robes and stalked off toward the showers, presumably following James, as Peter was now alone in the room. He was confused. Both Sirius and Remus were acting oddly lately, and Peter had no idea what was going on. I'll talk to James, Peter decided, gathering up his own robes to follow his irate companion's example. James will know what's going on and how to fix it.

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James whistled merrily as he prepared to leave for breakfast, formulating new plans to attract the attentions of the beautiful Lily Evans. He had not yet been a victim of Sirius' mood, and the world still seemed good (for a Monday morning) to him. Just then, Peter emerged from the showers, fully dressed.

"Hey Prongs!" he said, fairly cheerfully. "Can you wait just one second for me? Sirius is in a bad mood this morning and I'd rather not be left at his mercy."

"Isn't he always in a mood at this time in the morning?" inquired James, waiting as Peter gathered some books and papers into his school bag.

"No, worse than normal," explained Peter. "And actually, he's been acting funny for a while now. Him and Remus both. I was wondering if you had any idea why. If there's anything I could do to help."

James coughed slightly. "Well, Wormtail, I personally think we should just leave them alone. They'll sort themselves out eventually. Or if they want help, they can ask." James was becoming more certain by the minute that the conclusions he had made from his friends' actions were the correct ones. And if he was right, the best thing Peter and he could do would be to leave Sirius and Remus alone. "We should definitely let them settle their own matters," he repeated. "I'm not certain about this, but… We should just leave them alone."

Peter looked at him, obviously trying to decode the somewhat cryptic statement. "Okay, Prongs, whatever you say. How about some breakfast then?"

James grinned, setting his thoughts about his friends aside for the time being. "A brilliant sentiment, if I do say so myself. And while we're at it, I want you to tell me what you think of this new idea I've had about how to get Evans' attentions…" He failed to notice Peter rolling his eyes at his friend's one-track mind.

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Remus finally slammed the book shut in exasperation, causing Madame Pince to give him a disapproving glance from where she was shelving some books. It was no good. His traitorous mind kept drifting back to the events of last night. He groaned inwardly and glanced at his watch. Then groaned out loud. Breakfast was almost over. He'd have to hurry if he wanted anything before classes started. Grabbing his bag, he rushed out of the library.

Entering the Great Hall, he quickly made his way over to the Gryffindor table and took a seat next to Peter, across from Sirius. He carefully avoided looking at the dark-haired boy and grabbed a piece of toast.

"Morning, Moony!" said James cheerfully. "You almost missed breakfast. Have a load of homework to finish?"

"Nah," said Remus, swallowing his toast. "Just thought I'd do a bit of reading in the library. Just for fun."

James pretended to shiver. "Reading? Fun? Quiet, Moony, you'll ruin the Marauders' reputation!" Remus rolled his eyes, knowing full well that when he could be talked into trying a book, James loved a relaxing evening poring through something interesting. Sirius, on the other hand…

Remus wrenched his mind away from Sirius. This is going to be an incredibly awkward day, he thought. I can't even look at him across the breakfast table, and we've got all of our classes together today…

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Remus had been correct. It had been one of the most awkward days of his life. He had hardly been able to speak to Sirius without flushing and stumbling over his words. He was certain that James and Peter had noticed something, because they kept giving him and Sirius looks. Peter's looks were just a sense of confusion and what's going on here, but James looked like he knew something.

What's more, Remus had been spending the last half of the day trying to ignore the fact that he, Remus, was going to have to face this issue. This wasn't something that he could ignore. He had known for quite some time now what his fate was in this issue, and he had to bend to it…

No.

For the second time that day, Remus slammed his book shut in the library. He was not going to bend to Fate. He was going to confront it and have his own way in the issue. He knew how this was supposed to work out – two boys starting to experience odd feelings for each other – but he wasn't going to sit back and let this happen. I know what I want, Remus thought to himself. And what I don't want. And, therefore, I know what I have to do.

Determination sketched in every feature of his face, Remus stood up and went off to find Sirius.

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Sirius was not hard to find. He was sitting down by the lake, staring out across the water. That was where he usually went when he was troubled over something. So that was the first place Remus looked, figuring that if last night and today's events were not something to be troubling over, then nothing was.

He walked silently up behind the dark-haired boy, now that he was actually down here, uncertain what he was going to say. So he settled for something simple, just to begin with. "Hey."

Sirius jumped, jerking his head around to stare at Remus. "Oh… Remus… I didn't hear you come up behind me." He too fell silent, as though he was also searching for something appropriate to say.

Remus gathered his courage and sat down a little ways from his friend. "Sirius, we have to talk."

Sirius nodded, his eyes completely serious for once. "Yes… About last night?" It was phrased as a question, but they both knew what they were there for.

"Yes," Remus confirmed. "About last night. Padfoot, I – I have to tell you something." Damn, Remus thought, seeing the odd look in Sirius' eyes. This is going to be harder than I thought.

Sirius swallowed. "Yes?" Here it came. The big one. Sirius leaned slightly closer to Remus in anticipation.

Remus closed his eyes, afraid he was about to ruin their friendship. But he had made up his mind. He could do this. He was going to see this matter through, for better or for worse. He had to.

"Sirius, I – " he swallowed as Sirius nodded once, looking straight into his eyes. He looked down. Then, in a rush, he completed his statement.

"Sirius, you are one of the best friends I've ever had. Everything you've done for me, I really appreciate. You accepted me as a werewolf, you've included me in everything you've done. And I know… I know what you're thinking now. But it can't work. Sirius, I… I'm not in love with you."

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There. He had said it. He glanced up at Sirius, to catch his friend's look of absolute surprise. "You're… you're not in love with me?" Sirius said, in disbelief.

Remus was feeling more miserable by the second. "No. I'm straight, Sirius. I just – I just am not in love with you." He waited for Sirius to yell, to storm off, to do anything except for what he proceeded to do: let out one of his giant barks of laughter.

"To tell the truth, Moony, old pal," Sirius said, sounding more like himself by the second, "I'm not in love with you either."

Remus looked up in shock. "You're not? But… All those stories… Everyone said… I mean, wasn't it Fated that we…" he trailed off.

Sirius gave a giant grin. "I thought so, too. That was why I… was acting that way. I thought since we were supposed to be deeply in love, there was something wrong with me. I thought that if I faked it, it might become true. But we have clearly broken free of the chains of Fate, my fellow Marauder! We are free to pursue whomever we choose!"

For the first time in several days, Remus gave a real smile. Sirius jumped to his feet, grabbing Remus' hands and swinging the werewolf up after him. "Let us be off to the castle, my non-lover, to tell the others our good news!" Sirius' evident relief at solving this sticky situation was catching, and Remus soon found himself laughing out loud at his friend's antics.

"I take it you two sorted some stuff out, then," came a voice. Glancing over, Remus saw James standing a little ways away from the two. "And I want you to know," their bespectacled friend continued, "that I fully support you…"

"We're not in love!" sang out Sirius, bounding over to James and giving him a brotherly bear hug. "Not not not at all!"

It was James' turn to be utterly surprised. "You're not in love with each other? But everyone said… I mean, it was written in all those stories… Are you guys serious?" Remus and Sirius both started laughing again.

"As serious as could be," Sirius exclaimed. "Especially myself."

"I thought you outlawed that joke?" Remus challenged, grinning widely.

Sirius favored him with a glare. "I outlawed anyone else from making that joke. I am free to do what I will with my own name."

James shook his head. "Wow. So much for Fate, then. But I want you to know that I still support you fully… There are going to be a lot of surprised people at Hogwarts by tomorrow morning. Everyone has been expecting you guys to get together…"

"The Marauders never conform to anyone's expectations," Sirius informed him archly. "Come, let us leave for our common room where the brilliant Moony can let us copy the essays that are due tomorrow." He swung an arm over each of his friends' shoulders and together, the three Marauders set off for the castle, having overcome another obstacle in their friendship.

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As the three boys left the lake, none of them noticed the faint sound on the wind. It was barely distinguishable from the sound of wind in the treetops, but if you had been listening very closely, you would have been able to tell what it was: the sound of a thousand fanfiction authors screaming out in frustration and disbelief as all of their work amounted to nothing and all of their hopes were shattered…

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Well. That was that. I hope that someone else out there finds this at least vaguely amusing… I'm parodying, as you have probably guessed, the sheer number of stories insisting that Remus and Sirius are lovers. Actually, though, this is a bit hypocritical, because I'm afraid that I fall into the category of people who believe that… (They sent Harry a joint Christmas present in OotP, for heaven's sake.)

Moving on, I hope you enjoyed. If you found so much as one grammatical or spelling error, please tell me! See the pretty purple button down there, beckoning you?