Title : Doomed
Author : Helen C.
Rating : PG-13
Summary : Ryan feels terrible because he certainly never intended to hurt anyone—three 500 words drabbles, post The Dearly Beloved.
Spoilers : Everything up to The Dearly Beloved.
Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Josh Schwartz. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Huge thanks to my beta, Joey51!
3.
They say it at the same time, "I'm sorry," and grimace when their words collide.
Marissa chews on her lower lip, Ryan looks down.
He vaguely notices Sandy, Julie and Jimmy retreating to the kitchen but most of his attention is on Marissa.
They start talking at the same time again, "Thank you."
Ryan sighs; Marissa blushes.
Communication between them was never a foolproof process, and of course, Trey didn't make things better.
HHHH
"I'm going to a therapist," Marissa announces. "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." She grimaces as if the thought was offensive and Ryan wonders how come he's never suffered from that one, given his past, then decides that perhaps piling up issues on top of the ones he already has isn't a good idea.
"Anger management," he says neutrally.
Marissa looks surprised and he sighs again. "Don't… say anything."
The corners of her mouth twitch slightly, and it's the closest to a smile he's seen from her in days.
It's good to know that he can still make her smile.
HHHH
"I didn't want you to know," Marissa says.
"Because you knew I was going to…" The words "Try to kill him" catch in his throat and he chokes on them. He probably won't say kill innocently ever again, but that's an acceptable consequence of all this mess. One of the very few acceptable consequences.
"Because I didn't want you to be disappointed again," she corrects.
He shrugs. "It's my family. I always end up disappointed."
Except now, he's also disappointed in himself, and that's new, and even more unpleasant.
HHHH
Marissa takes his hand. "I'm the one who told you to give him another chance."
"It's Trey. I should have known better." Ryan's tone is cold but the anger is mostly directed at himself, because really, he's seventeen and he should stop believing in fairy tales and happy endings.
At least, back in Chino, he was the only one getting hurt. Here, now, with his new family, he has to be more careful, and damnit, he should have known better.
HHHH
"Will you be all right?" Marissa asks, as she and her parents get ready to leave.
"Will you?" he shoots back.
"In time," Sandy says, to both of them.
HHHH
"I'm sorry," Ryan says when the Coopers gone. "You didn't need all that, on top of Kirsten."
Sandy takes a hold of his shoulder, pulls him close. "Neither did you," he says gently. "Neither did you."
Ryan isn't sure what to say to this, because really, when has what he needed ever mattered?
"We'll get through this," Sandy promises. "Like we went through all the rest."
Through Luke and Oliver and social workers and Dawn and fights and Theresa.
Ryan doesn't think he has ever been more tired in his life.
"Let us help you," Sandy says. "You don't have to do this alone."
Ryan nods, since he doesn't have it in him to do it alone, and right now, he needs Sandy's support more than he has ever needed anything.
END