A/N—hi there again! (No, I don't own Inuyasha but I do own my fanfics!)

sorry... a little re-editing with here and there. um.. i dont know if you can find them but sorry for reposting though..

MORE THAN WANTED

Deep Forest

•●•

I'm sure that the heart I left behind
still lies hidden in the heart of the deep, deep forest.
—

"Yes... I'll let you have him."

It felt right, the smile that Kikyou gave her. Kagome didn't rebel back her words, feeling as if she said something that truly meant something for her and Kikyou. For the first time.

There was a strange familiarity within Kikyou's new mind and heart. Kagome could sense the change the undead miko had become. It was as if the anger, the jealousy, the hatred Kikyou had once shot Kagome with had somehow... vanished. She could still felt the little pain but it didn't match the relief and bracing emotions that newly swallowed Kikyou.

The older priestess did not say anymore, just smiled. There was no need of "are you sure?" or "you chose correct". The only response that silently reached out of each other's mind were... satisfaction. As if content with the bizarre idea.

Before Kagome could say anymore to break off the long momentum, she hesitantly held out the Shikon no Tama from her neck. Kikyou followed her gaze, her eyes softening at the sight of the Jewel she had once protected with all her life shine on the human girl's palm.

"But..." Kagome began. "What about the last shard? How... how do I tell them?"

The older miko hopped—merely flew—off the large root and landed on the moist night grass without a thud or a sound. Her torn blood-red pants swayed, her bloodstained shirt clinging on her form. Closing her eyes, Kikyou held her heart.

"Do not worry, child," she murmured. "I will take care of things that troubles you so. I can control the sight of reality. I can manipulate the very sight of something so worthless and fabricate it into something so precious in one's eyes. I can master and disguise the Jewel's truth."

Understanding, Kagome nodded and placed the necklace back around her neck but a realization doused her heart as she took the necklace off her neck and held it out in front of her once more.

"I... I guess I can't protect this anymore," Kagome whispered. "Since you're almost alive now, you can protect the Jewel like you did years ago. I—I'm not needed to defend it. You're the one who should keep it. Here."

Kikyou diverted her eyes to Kagome's then down at her outstretched open palm, where the Shikon no Tama, the Jewel of Four Souls, the very thing that was assume to have been burnt with her years ago, and the very same Jewel that would change her life literally. Replying back, Kikyou smiled and did not seize it.

"No," she murmured. "No. No... I cannot. The protection and guardian of the Jewel has passed down its fate. I have clearly done my job protecting it and it holds useless to my guard."

Kagome hesitated, her arm still stretched out towards the other woman.

"But... Kikyou..."

"Have we not called this discussion a peace of both our lives?" Kikyou questioned quietly. "With these new powers, I cannot gain anymore. For if I do and must I live precisely, my further reason is for you're own to figure out and myself. I cannot capture such obsession. Please, I cannot."

Kagome stood stunned, watching the inexplicable teardrop fall down the miko's cheek. But she fixed the Jewel back around her neck.

They stood still, watching the fireflies take flight about them, watching the crescent moon glow its eerie silver tint. They watched the stars, winking down at them, making Kagome wonder what she was to do now that things were going to be like this.

The hours of midnight passed a long two hours ago, as the two miko watched the hushed night above them, heeding in the sound of crickets about them, none too particularly of demons. Morning would dawn soon in a couple of hours, they could tell. Golden glows shot faintly through the starry sky. Golden glows that somehow reminded Kagome of Inuyasha.

The thought saddened her inside but she stood strong before Kikyou, one whom she thought had loathed her. That thought made Kagome confused.

Kikyou had now grown into this new person. It was strange because Kagome had once figured out that this bizarre structure of once earth and bones hated her guts. Kagome had felt Kikyou's anger stream down her heart, an angry jealousy. What had changed her emotions was only Kagome's heart could answer.

Moving her head down to watch the grass and moss instead, Kagome found it hard to forget Inuyasha just for one minute. He would love this. He would be thrilled to find out that Kikyou was alive again. Well, not literally alive, but nearly alive. He would be so happy to see Kikyou that he would marry her, have a family, and be happy.

It's all I want Inuyasha to be, right?

Kagome nodded. Seeing Inuyasha so happy would make Kagome herself happy, too. And this is how his wish would come true. Inuyasha was so profound of Kikyou.

And of her? No, he wasn't. He wasn't too serious of Kagome. Inuyasha had told, screamed, yelled, murmured, whispered (maybe even thought of it) to Kikyou how much he loves her and how she meant to him.

And of her? No, he didn't do any of those. But, it was all right.

They bickered, they fought, they argued, even swear. Would you call that loving and or romantic? Hmmm. Some would say yes, some would say no. Either way, Kagome did not think so. No matter how sweet and soft he had once done towards her, Kagome knew it meant nothing. Nothing Inuyasha ever had done really meant something or even anything at all.

I wonder if every time you whisper to me and hug me... that you wish I were Kikyou. I wonder if every time you tell me how great I smell, it would always be Kikyou you desire to see, to smell, to touch...

With a sad smile, Kagome turned to look at Kikyou, who had somehow been staring at her the whole time.

"I feel envy of you, Kikyou," Kagome uttered softly. "Pretty much a slight sadness of envy."

Kikyou did not respond, only gaze back with disheartening gray eyes.

You truly are simple-minded at the thought of your beloved, yes, she thought melancholy. You do not know how this will affect both Inuyasha and I. How it will affect you. Please reconsider to realize someday, Kagome...

She did not say it. No need to. Soon, Kagome would grasp what this trial had been and meant all along. Before neither of them could say anything else, they were quickly interrupted by a slight sensation of power that shocked their peace. It was the energy of a youkai. However... also the energy of a human.

—
Exhausted, without the strength to search
people vanish into the infinite darkness.
—

It was an hour after when Inuyasha flapped his eyes open. Something troubled him yet he couldn't figure out what it was. Whether it was what had happened several hours ago or what would happen if they just leave Naraku's poisonous miasma behind.

Sitting up slowly did he realize that it was still nighttime, the subtle sight of the morning's sunup etching over the forest's horizon. He settled Tetsusaiga beside him and dusted the straws that clamped right behind his back and silver mane.

Why was he so fidgety now? Was something troubling him? Everything was all right. Everything was going to be fine. All their troubles were away from thoughts. All their troubling mind of death and revenges were out of their league.

The only problem was, as still, what now?

Inuyasha could no longer sleep, his senses so restless and mind so unsettled. He hopped off the hut's rooftop with the sword tightly placed back to his side. He landed softly on the grassy ground with a soft thud from his heels.

He could not put himself to walk inside the hut yet. He couldn't bear to stand seeing those he had been forcefully attempted to kill right now. The images of such flashback sent a shiver running down his spine.

It was their looks. It was those expressions, those expressions of Sango, Shippou, Miroku, Kirara... Kagome. He could not forget them, could not get the images out of his mind.

Sure it should have been Naraku's fault. His friends were so certain it was just Naraku's doing that had caused him to nearly kill the people he had cherished as friends and the one he had loved. But... no. Half of it is true. Half of it... he just wasn't sure of anymore.

Staring at his clawed hands, something he intended to do so often after a vast murder of people he did not meant to kill. It was the first time he had took aim through his friends' blood, sticking it on his skin. Normally, he would do that in his sudden demon form. But he had been deceived to destroy them in this ugly form of half-breed.

The dimming view of the night began to glow brighter. Soon, morning would arrive and a new day would, yes, come to their fate.

He stopped various feet away from the hut's doorway and turned his head to stare at it. Something still troubled him, he didn't know what. Crossing his arms dully, Inuyasha settled his poised standing where he was.

With his sharp hearing, he could hear Shippou mumble his weary sighs and yawn visibly loud in his canine ears. He could hear Sango mumble, as well as Miroku. This was normal for all of them. Muttering in sleep were the usual habit after or before a pretty bad fight or argument. It only showed the worry lining across their faces, something they kept hidden when they wake up.

He heard them all, except for one. The one thing he had tried so hard to scent and hear. He smelled her scent clear as the wind but his nose protested at the action, as if it did not like the smell it smelled. Quite certain, Inuyasha were sure it was Kagome's scent. But his nose never did fail him.

He turned abruptly to stare at the dark opened door decorated with beaded strings for weak covering. Without hesitating, he started to walk towards the small hut, wanting to check on a certain someone.

When he walked inside, looked around with piercing sharp eyes, and found the spot where Kagome was suppose to lay quite empty, the curled ball of Shippou now lying in the middle of the sleeping bag, alert took over him, as well as frustration.

What the hell...?

How did the girl get out without him noticing her leaving? Inuyasha glanced around the small area of the shack. Sango and Miroku were still sleeping, Kirara on the youkai exterminator's stomach. No Kagome.

Running outside and checking the back of the hut, Inuyasha growled and glared at his surrounding.

Stupid wench! Where and why the fuck did she leave in the middle of the night!

He went tiptoes to sniff the high air. He squatted flat on the ground, whiffing the earth for Kagome's fragrance. Just grass, mosses, and trees. Useless.

—
If it's so small, I wonder if I can see it even now?
—

When a sudden updraft of the human girl's smell caught his nose in barely a second, Inuyasha leaped in action and hopped on branches. He could only guess where the girl was, and the direction of the quick aroma was enough to tell him where the dumb wench had stopped.

Growling, Inuyasha tried to reason his sudden anger. Shaking his head and shutting his eyes, he made a fist. Why was he so angry? It isn't like Kagome was in trouble. After the battle, she was almost fine, in better condition than the others were.

That's right...

Why am I so suppressed with anger? It isn't like Naraku's puppets will come after her. They're dead, gone. Kagome's gonna be all right.

So...

He slowed down, when a sudden pain ruptured his heart.

But...

He stopped. He is stupid. Why is he trying to stop someone he wanted to love from going back to her time?

Kagome was going to the well. He knew that for sure. Despite that, he growled low with disappointment. She had figured it out, and she had no thought of even saying good-bye to him. It pained him, to be betrayed by someone he loved so dearly. To be betrayed by someone he had vowed to love forever twice. Twice...

But...

Second musings begins to come in his mind. Surely, Kagome would return, ne? She always returned, even after a pretty huge argument.

He stared at the far distance in front. The well wasn't too far, hidden amongst the large trees far ahead. The clear dark emerald world around him, the view of the coming of morn shone darkly around him. The sound of crickets echoed in his hearing, not one you call demons. The smell of moss and moist grass came to his nose as it always did.

It would be several hours until morning would come. A day where he was reluctant to face yet ecstatic to live upon on. Tomorrow, if Kagome would not be here, he would soon wait. Wait until she comes back.

But...

'Will that happen?'

He nodded.

'Are you sure?'

He nodded.

'But... what if... no...?'

He nodded once more.

"She... she'll come," he answered the wind. "I know... for sure."

'For sure?'

He did not shake his head no. Despite, he did not shake his head yes. He merely gazed at the scene ahead, hoping that he would see Kagome's very presence out of the dark clearing of the night. Hoping that she'd see him up there, high up on a branch, and smile.

And smile at him, her eyes soon would be softening. He smiled at the thought.

Yeah. It's better to hope than not to.

'But—'

"Shut up," he uttered. "It's enough for me to talk to myself but to think about that would..."

Leaves fluttered around him. The beautiful nature veiling his structure, the half-breed crouched in a pup position, contemplating.

He waited. As he always did when she went off somewhere. He waited for her, as usual.

When he looked up at the night sky, he could still see the moon, its crescent shape humbly shining down on the forested earth. His silver mane whipped his face, a few strands obscuring his sight. His aligned lips faltered when he knew, when he realized.

He waited for her, but she did not come. His golden eyes glimmered oddly.

Had she left? Had she really left?

Had Kagome really remembered the care of her family and just leave him? Leave Inuyasha without saying goodbye?

Kagome had never done that. No matter what, she had always came to him right before she leaves for her time. Whether it be another argument, more 'feh's, or a simple 'go ahead, I don't give shit', Kagome would always go to him if she were to leave him.

Was she... was she...?

'She looks like it, doesn't she?'

He gazed down below him, couldn't find the right words to reply his own thoughts.

No. She couldn't possibly have been...

'But she looks like it... no denying it.'

Gnarling, Inuyasha turned to his right and headed off to a place where he could think clearly. A place where all seems to drift away from him, all troubles... all lies.

He swiftly hopped on branches, speeding up. What was there to be angry about?

Yeah, that's right. Why am I so worked up about this? It's not like I could stop her from going back. There's no need to stay here anymore.

'Yes. No need. Naraku is defeated, all is well, for the Jewel is complete, too, yes...'

The Jewel. Inuyasha halted and stared ahead.

I forgot about the Jewel.

He glanced at the night sky.

I've been worked up thinking about Kagome leaving that... I forgot about the Jewel.

It was strange. Now, it was like the Shikon no Tama meant nothing to him. The only thought that never dissipated from his mind was Kagome leave-taking. He began his quick pace to the Goshinboku.

It long until he neared the Sacred Tree's clearings, when instantly did he feel this terrible subsidence inside him. As if, his instinct told him to go back to the well. But his human guts kept him from doing so.

'Why are you so jumpy?'

I don't know.

'Are there other reasons other than Kagome that bothers you?'

How should I know.

'You should know since I know it already...'

Keh.

'I know what troubles you. You just don't want to admit, ne?'

Whatever. You tell me.

'How about you tell me?'

If I don't?

He was sure that the silence his thoughts had given him came with a long chuckle after.

'If you don't... then you won't stop thinking about it. Even if you admit it to your mind, it won't help anyway...'

He didn't answer. What was the use? He was just talking to himself so he should know whatever it was he was feeling.

But... I don't want to lose her.

Another pause. Another chuckle. Another confusing reply.

'Lose her? Which one?'

—
As we live on,
we lose a little bit more.
Shrouded in falsehoods and lies,
we stand frozen to the spot, unable to cry out
—

Which... one?

'That's right. Whom are you talking about? Whom is it, hanyou. Tell me. Her... or... her...?'

Her or... her?

Before he could let himself answer, a strong power and scent came into his smell. He sniffed the air and stared at the dozen trees that hid the Goshinboku. It was a familiar scent, one that always soothed him when he was in anger.

Fireflies flew around him suddenly. The strange golden lights merged out of the view, dancing around him, as if urging him. The scent began to grow stronger, and he smiled, in relief, in happiness.

Kami-sama! Kagome didn't leave! She didn't leave me!

'Oi, don't sound so awkward, idiot! You can't just hope that she'll forget about her family, fool. She doesn't have amnesia. Besides, she'll remember it. You know she will.'

I hate it when I have to ruin my own fun.

'I hate it when I have to remind my own self that all things aren't just happiness and love.'

Keh.

What he wasn't expecting, when he slowly arrived at the Tree, was the other structure of figure he had not anticipated to see yet. And before long, his calm, relieve facial tone, revolved into a strange anxiety, filled with stupefaction. Another mixed of pain shot his eyes, his smiling lips straightening.

—
The days pass by and change,
without us even realizing how blue the sky really is.
—

All heads, Kagome and Kikyou's, turned to see the sudden figure that had came to a sudden halt to their right.

Strange...

Kagome was sure that his reaction was a little bit awkward before his once smiling lips turned solemn. It pained her a little bit, to see the one she loved stand between two women that had captured his heart. But, who knows, this might be the first time he should be standing between two people he loves, where one of them would later be pushed away.

She was suddenly shaking her head.

What are you talking about, Kagome? She gasped.

Inuyasha had never loved you. All those things he's told you before... they weren't of love. They were just...

'...Words?'

Kagome nodded and returned Inuyasha's astounded gaze with her expressionless stare. She mustn't show her pain, she had silently promised Kikyou that. Her gaze broke off when Inuyasha's eyes moved directly towards Kikyou's.

The fireflies that flew around them brightened. Kagome wasn't sure if it were the odd atmosphere around her or all of them. Whatever it was, she couldn't intrude it.

"Kagome..." Inuyasha stuttered, turning to look at her. He then looked at the older miko. "K—Kikyou...?"

Kikyou now turned to stare at Kagome, her once cold eyes glimmering. It was only Kagome that could see through Kikyou now. She was this sad, dispirited dead woman.

No. Kikyou was not fully dead anymore. She is half. Half-life, half death. Kagome was proud of that, being alive again to love again. She was proud, and she was sad. Angry wasn't the word to express her feelings. She had surpassed those hours ago, realizing that she couldn't have things the way she wanted it to be.

With one last smile at Kikyou, Kagome gazed at the ground and fingered the ribbon that lay on her stomach. How alike she really did look compared to the miko. Yes, they were alike. They loved, hated, and cried. They felt those at the same time.

The leaves began their descend once again, falling up, falling down. They drifted with the fireflies, several covering the brightness of the golden insects.

It was then that Kagome and Kikyou both gazed at the hanyou, one blissful, one sorrowful. It would take a long while to figure out which felt what.

"Inuyasha..."

—
Overcoming that made-up scheme, we live the present,
and our rusted hearts begin to beat again!
—

His eyes widened slightly, at the equal chorus. What was Kikyou doing here? He... he wasn't expecting her to come. Especially when both of them were... both here.

"Inuyasha, how are you?" Kagome murmured with soft smile.

Were they expecting me?

'It sure looks like it.'

Inuyasha could not move. If he did, who will he run to? Which one will he turn to walk towards to and hold? If he would come to Kikyou, he would hurt Kagome. If he were to come to Kagome, then Kikyou would hurt.

They looked so much alike. The red bottom, the white top, the black hair... even their eyes and lips were similar; glimmering and straight.

As if they had been reading his face, Kikyou stepped forward, Kagome did not. She merely gazed at him with intent eyes, whilst she just stood there, her arms falling to her sides numbly.

"I—Inuyasha..."

The one he had loved fifty years ago left him through a heart-wrenching pain. Kikyou... she sounded so... hurt. Her voice spoke of those times where Inuyasha had wished her kindness and softness would reveal often back in the old days.

Her movements were of unbalanced, her hands coming up, trying to reach him, too urging. Inuyasha could not resist. He stepped forward and accepted her embrace, suddenly forgetting everything.

Kikyou. Why do you look sad? Why do you sound so sad? It isn't like you. It wasn't like you at all. You feel... you feel—

He gasped.

"K—Kikyou...?"

Pulling her slightly apart, Inuyasha gaped in sudden astonishment. Smiling, Kikyou nodded and placed a hand on his cheek. They trembled a little but Inuyasha held them back as he pressed them firmly against his cheek.

"But... how? When? H—How did...?"

He trailed off when her other hand gracefully caressed his other cheek, also trembling.

"For years that I have been resurrected that I saw you once more would I desired to do this," Kikyou murmured quietly, only for Inuyasha to hear. "I have long to touch you again, Inuyasha. I have longed to touch you with warm hands. Not cold. I have never wanted you to touch me before for I had been cold. My skin were cold, my eyes were cold... my heart were cold that it did not beat."

She paused to soften those wildly glimmering eyes of the hanyou.

"But now... I can," she smiled. "I can touch you now, with warm hands and a heart that beats. Beats with your love. Inuyasha, I... my... it came true."

She did not say anymore for Inuyasha instantly embraced her, burying his face on her shoulder. She was so warm, so human-like now. How had Kikyou become like this? Did... did she wish on the Jewel herself to become human again?

—
If we can find the rhythm of time, we can fly once again
—

Kikyou. You're so warm. My wish... it also came true. I can embrace you again without being pushed away.

Inuyasha closed his eyes. He remembered that smile she had given before their embrace. It looked so true, so sincere. It looked so... familiar.

But who had smiled like that before? Who had smiled a better smile like that that it made him melt inside? Inuyasha frowned a little, trying to remember as he tightly held Kikyou.

'You are a fool, you... have you forgotten?'

Forgotten? Who have I forgotten?

'You silly, half-breed... you remembered her. But what about... her?'

Her... and her?

All at once, Inuyasha's eyes fluttered open, realization coming from behind. Quickly pulling his head up, Inuyasha gazed at the figure standing over Kikyou's shoulder, a figure so fragile and weak.

"Kagome!"

Fuck! I —I'm sorry! I forgot... I... I...

His heart clenched ever so tightly when Kagome smiled at him. He couldn't tell if it was the smile of happiness or sadness. What he knew was that he had once again expressed his love of someone else.

Kagome's smile. It hurt him so much. What was he doing? Why was he doing this? He wanted to pull Kikyou away. But before he could do so, Kagome interrupted him.

"No," she whispered quietly. "Inuyasha. Don't. Don't come to me. Please... don't."

Gazing at her with confusion, he did not let Kikyou go.

"Kagome... but..."

"No," Kagome repeated, firmly this time. "Don't be stubborn, you. Stay there. Just... stay like that. With her."

And before he knew it, Kagome had before long turned around and walked away. The wide spread of her miko sleeves rambling with the wind and with the leaves. The fireflies floated around her, as if they were of the dead souls, waiting to be sucked in by her body.

Inuyasha watched her, his eyes longing to grab her and enfold her. But he couldn't. Such demand from her was hard to resist. He was embracing Kikyou, this warm angelic miko he had once loved.

His heart squeezed so tight, making him want to cry, to regret this event. But he kept embracing her. He kept Kikyou wrapped around his arms, trying to ignore that hurting doubt in his head that this was not the person he really wanted to hold.

Kagome walked slowly, still in the hanyou's view. He still watched her, watched as she disappeared. He was delighted to see that her direction was towards the hut, not the well. That would give him time to talk to her.

He could still hear her, through his strong hearing range, her soft mutters. Her beautiful raven hair flowed like air streams.

"Stay like that. Inuyasha, stay like that with her... Just keeping it like that would everything be alright. Everything will be... all right. If you... if you stay like that..."

—
We live our lives
wandering to the ends of the earth.
Believing (in you?), now I begin my journey with you,
in search of the light.
—

Somewhere in the midst of the forest, two figures intertwined their lost love. Somewhere in those midst of the forest, a structure of another figure walked in slow pace.

He could still see her. He saw her beautiful frame, so sad and broken. He saw the strange crystal droplets flowing behind her, the salty smell of tears clenching his heart eternally as the tears trailed around the crescent moon's body.

—
We live our lives
wandering to the ends of the earth.
Closing off
the way back,
we walk on for eternity.
—

It don't hurt. I can cry for a while, then start over again. I know I can't do that but at least I can try. It don't really hurt. No, it don't. It'll be okay; I'll be all right. As long as he stays like that and I stay like this, it'll be all okay. Besides, this isn't goodbye yet, Inuyasha... I'm not saying goodbye.

—
We live our lives standing frozen to the spot,
unable to cry out, for eternity...
—