A/N—third chapter! Thank you for the reviews! I really, really needed them to continue. Sorry if I stopped right there at the last chapter, I like cliffhangers.Nope, don't Inuyasha just this story and all my other ones.

MORE THAN WANTED

Dearest

•●•

It would be nice if we could put away and throw out
everything except what really mattered, but
reality is just cruel.
—

Three hours had gone by and Inuyasha had not returned yet. Kagome gazed at the sunup in front of her, sitting on a large cliff at the edge of the forest. She had recently found this large grassy cliff after wandering aimlessly around the forest. She hoped that Inuyasha thought she was going back to the hut by going to that direction. Heedless to say, she wasn't doing such things.

She swung her feet playfully over the edge, yet not too firm for she was smart enough not to fall off those thousand feet below her, where another forest lay under. Elbows pressed on lap and chin rested on palms, Kagome closed her eyes halfway and stared down below her.

Wouldn't it be great to just jump off this cliff?

'Why do say so?'

Just look at it...

As if a second pair of eyes came to her, she gazed deeply at the drop underneath her swaying feet. The beautiful color of forest wavered in front of her eyes, like emerald, gold, and ruby blending together. It was like treasure. For two and a half years in this place, Kagome had never wondered why she had never found this place.

'You are right. Yes... it is beautiful.'

I don't know why I never found this place. It's so... soothing.

Her ebony glossy hair flew weakly behind her. A few strands graze her cheeks gently as her lashes fluttered slowly. When she tried to do something she nearly had forgotten what it was called, she couldn't do it.

Must I replace everything with pretend now?

'Must you?'

Must I?

'Well, you are talking to yourself.'

That's right.

She closed her eyes.

I'm going insane. Why am I talking to myself all of a sudden?

'Because. You have not the time to do that because of the Shikon shards you had to find.'

She sighed, nodding.

That's right. I forgot about that.

Birds flew by, waving their wings like fingers to the sky. They waved at her with hello even though their heads looked the other way. Kagome paused to take in her breath.

I should spend here more often. It's so quiet and peaceful.

'You should. You need it.'

She didn't think anymore, merely stared at the beauty below her. There was a stream that ran right below her dancing legs. It had a horseshoe shape, where the midst curved all the way to the edge of the horizon. Even through human eyes, Kagome could see the glimmer of the river, the scent of leaves dwelling in her nose.

Yawning dumbly, Kagome brushed the strands that obscured her eyes behind her ears. Her miko clothes flung with the soft wind, making it hard for her to keep such loose clothes in place. She didn't care.

She was sleepy, but she did nothing about it. She would slumber when their answer came in her ears. When their decision came in place. If he disagrees, she will have to force him to compromise. Even if it broke her heart. Or his. She chuckled. Why would it? She's got no room left, never had, actually.

Kagome sighed, her eyes beginning to close midway.

I guess I'll have to start pretending after.

'Should you?'

Kagome sighed.

Maybe. I guess.

There was a pause. After, Kagome looked high up the blue turning sky, her eyes still midway closed. Birds fluttered, waving at the sky. They seemed to wave their hello at her, their finger-like wings swiveling up and down yet their heads stared at a different direction. The beautiful white and brown birds of prey passed by in every minute, none particularly of the demonic kind.

'It is beautiful, is it not?'

Yeah.

'If only everyday would be like this...'

Wouldn't it be great to just jump off this cliff?

Kagome turned to look underneath her, dull eyes blinking vacantly. An invisible smile painted her lips inside. A smile she couldn't quite remember to do.

It was then that her outer self rang her with questions she hesitated to ignore.

Would it be just great to fall off this cliff and fly?

—
In such times,
I see you laughing
whenever I close my eyes.
—

'Kagome.'

Wouldn't' it be wonderful to just stand up, jump off, and fly?

'I don't think...'

Just stretch out your arms like you have wings...

'I don't...'

And fly...

'But...'

Fly... away.

'Kagome'

I would love to jump off this cliff and stretch out my arms to fly.

She nodded.

Then I could fly away. Away from all this...

'But...'

Away from everything else.

'But, then you'll...'

Chuckling, Kagome shook her head.

But humans don't have wings. It's impossible for us, me, to have wings.

'Are you listening?'

Impossible.

'Why are you ignoring yourself?'

Then I can't really fly away from them.

'Why aren't you listening to me?'

Fly away from myself. Away... away...

'Listen!'

I guess you'll have to die first to have wings. Yeah... to be an angel.

'Shut up.'

Then I can finally fly away.

'Kagome...'

—
Until the day I reach eternal sleep,
that smiling face will
have to stay with me without fail.
—

Wouldn't it be great?

'What would be great?'

You know, to jump off and fly. To soar in the wind.

'That is great?'

Yes.

'Why do I not think so?'

I don't know.

'I'm you but what you're telling me doesn't appeal me.'

Well, why don't it?

'Because—'

Because? Because what?

There was a short pause, Kagome's mind halted abruptly. Then, a strange ache came through her head. She ignored it, growling with frustration that soon silenced in short seconds.

'Because you are hurting.'

Kagome didn't reply her own thoughts. She merely gazed at the view up ahead then down below. She didn't do anything else, just merely imagined. Why would she be hurting? She didn't feel any physical pain. Only emotional, but she wasn't hurting.

Was that what her mind was talking about? Shaking her head slowly, Kagome shut her eyes close then open.

I'm insane. I'm going insane.

There was no reply. Then...

'Are you?'

...Am I?

'Do you think you are?'

I don't know. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. But what I'm telling you is true.

'Which one?'

You know. You should know.

'I don't.'

Why? I thought you do. You're my head, dummy. You're my thought and my mind.

'Because you're keeping me from it. You aren't telling me it inside.'

Fine. I'm talking about this.

Staring dumb-wittedly at the fall below her still legs, Kagome sluggishly rose to her feet.

'What are you doing?'

What does it look like?

'It looks to me like you're jumping off this cliff.'

That's right.

'Why?'

Why...?

'Why do you do this?'

Do what?

'Why are you doing this now? Is it because...'

Kagome shook her head violently.

No! It isn't! That isn't true! I... I...

'I what? You what? Why do you do this now? You haven't even received their answer yet. I think it's best to know before you even try this at all.'

Are you telling me that I should find out what Inuyasha and Kikyou think then jump off this cliff?

'No! That's not it!'

Then... what?

'I'm you and you're me. Why don't you decide?'

I...I...

'Yes?'

I... I don't know.

'There you go.'

I don't know.

But she stared expressionlessly down below, desiring to feel air around her body, to stretch out her arms and fly. But she couldn't. She couldn't move. She merely gazed down below.

Suddenly, she felt pain stab her heart. It wasn't hers but it was clear whom it was. Closing her eyes, Kagome gasped softly. The pain did not ceased yet. It only grew and grew.

Kikyou, she thought sadly, is he... is he... disagreeing?

No. Inuyasha mustn't disagree! He wasn't supposed to! He was supposed to say yes!

I'll talk to him for you, she whispered quietly. I'll make sure that...

It took a few moments before the pain slowly faded away, relieving Kagome of such uncomfortable. She opened her eyes to stare at the azure blue sky, to smell the morning once more with weak human nose. Not even home would comfort her.

Sighing with fatigue, Kagome blinked slowly.

Home. I forgot about home.

'Yes. What is 'home' now?'

You're right. It's starting to erase from my mind.

'Do you want it to?'

I...

"I don't know," she whispered, closing her eyes to feel the wind hit her face. "I just don't know anymore."

—
People are all sad, so
they go and forget, but--For that which I should love,
For that which gives me love, I will do what I can.
—

"Stay like that..."

Several minutes after was Inuyasha left with this person returning what seems to be his embrace. It was only a few minutes did Kagome left already, a few minutes where he wasn't able to hold on to her.

Her.

Kagome's face. It was all he could think of. The horror of her face from that battle had gone away, replacing it with this dreadful sorrowful face which she appeared to be hiding. But he could see it. He had known her long enough to tell whether she was hiding something or not.

"Just stay like that..."

He didn't realize it but he had enfolded this woman in his arms.

"Like that..."

Kagome's face. It was all he could think.

Kagome's smile. That fake, happy smile she had given him not too long ago.

Kagome's sweet voice. That voice that restrained its hoarseness and gruffness.

Kagome's scent. That pleasant smell faded into something... something called surrender.

"Stay like that..."

He couldn't acknowledge, his mind was focus on one person, but he buried his face under a thick lock of ebony hair. A hair that looked like...

Pulling the person slightly from him, still holding her, Inuyasha hid a frown. It was Kikyou.

'Why would it not be? You've been holding her for quite some time now...'

"Don't come to me..."

Kikyou gazed back at him with longing eyes, something he had often seen when she was sad, an expression she hardly showed.

"Inuyasha."

The whisper was soft, gentle to his ears. Inuyasha fought back the urge to push Kikyou away. The wind came and went, few fireflies still alive to the coming of the morning.

He didn't know what he was doing. Maybe it was because he couldn't think correctly. Maybe it was because he didn't understand what it was he was suppose to do.

When he saw Kagome... and Kikyou at the same time, all that registered to him was... her.

"Don't worry..."

Yet... she disallowed him to go to her. It confused him for some reason. He wanted to hold her, because she did not go home. He wanted to tell her right now. Right now...

Even despite that the presence of his former love stood with them.

A pang of guilt rose up his heart.

Yes. That was what he wanted. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him, even if it meant yelling it at her with his former love standing there. But... she didn't let him. Instead, she had demanded... commanded... no, it was merely a statement... that he should go to the other woman.

He couldn't refuse her. He just couldn't! He couldn't say no to anything she says. And telling him to go to her instead... he just did it. Because she told him to do so.

'You would do anything she says, would you, then?'

I would.

—
Back then, when we met,
it was all awkward.
We went the long way, didn't we?
We got hurt, didn't we?
—

He wasn't thinking right. His mind was off somewhere. But half of his former instinct held on tight to Kikyou. Half of the emotions in his past made him grasp onto Kikyou.

"Inuyasha," Kikyou murmured gently. "I have missed you. Remarkably, this action you are giving me here and now."

Inuyasha held her tighter. He closed his eyes, hiding the glimmer of regret behind his lids. His lips tightened, holding back a cry of help. A cry of weakness.

"Kikyou," he murmured.

Yet inside, he whispered, "Kagome..."

"You're warm," Inuyasha mumbled. "How? What happened? I thought you were..."

Dead.

Kikyou smiled faintly. Her eyes bouncing in pleasant delight. She still held onto him, never wanting to let go.

"Dead?" she asked. "Yes... and no. I am not fully alive yet, however, I am not fully dead yet, either."

Inuyasha merely stared at her, waiting for the specific answer.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Kikyou let her hold loose and took a step back. Her moves were graceful, like heaven. The fireflies acted as if they were the souls she were to gather inside her, flying around them, dancing with the wind.

"Inuyasha," the miko began. "Your wish and mine has come true. Unless you oppose to it."

Wish?

"What wish?"

"To be with me," Kikyou simply responded. "To be with you. After Naraku's death, I am able to gather new power to extend my position. I can now be alive. Souls are useless to me now, unless I am drained out of my power. With this new power I have united, I can be a human again. I don't have to be a... a..."

She hesitated to add softly, "a monster."

That set Inuyasha's mind blindly. Without much ado, Inuyasha just stepped forward and embraced her once more. This time, it as him holding onto her first. It was him.

"Kikyou," he whispered. "You were never a monster to me. I care nothing about what lies outside you. As long as your soul is still pure, I can still love you again..."

'Are you sure?'

Yes.

'Then... why are you regretting saying that?'

What do you mean?

'I can feel it. Inside you. I'm inside you and I can feel your great surge of mourn.'

Shut up. I don't care. As long as I can be with her.

There was a pause.

'Which one?'

The slightest touch of the fireflies sent a shiver running his spine. Inuyasha closed his eyes, ignoring the pain it caused him when he gazed upon the ground where she stood not so long time ago.

"Kikyou," Inuyasha started. "Tell me... tell me..."

He did not need to finish, for Kikyou's arms enveloped him in return. Her warm skin radiated through his haori, sending a sudden jump in his heart. For long years had he not felt Kikyou this warm before. He was somewhat almost use to hugging her cold, ice body. And now... now that she was human...

"I have summoned the young miko to talk," Kikyou murmured. "I was the who called upon her. From afar, I could feel the worry and anxiousness in you when you have discovered her disappearance."

Hiding a surprised face, Inuyasha didn't answer.

"I feel it," Kikyou said. "With these powers, I gained many powers I sometimes wish I never had. Powers to see destiny. To alter the being in one's eye."

There was a pause after. Kikyou had somehow stopped talking, letting the silence sink inside her first. She gazed at the ground, a sorrow eyes hidden behind her bangs.

I must do this, she thought with more or less encouragement, I must or all hearts will break and minds will fall apart. I know it is not my business but I must end all sorrows... even if I will have to create a new one for someone...

"Inuyasha," Kikyou opened her eyes and turn to look at the hanyou with compassion and remorse. "I came to bid the girl a favor."

Inuyasha nodded understandingly.

"What...what was it?" he asked.

'I don't like this.'

You don't like anything!

There was another pause. Kikyou let the silence back in, the fireflies glowing dimmer in their sight. Her red and whit miko clothing flowed with the wind, as the morning began to rise. A morning where their decision must come.

"Kagome," Kikyou began but stopped.

Inuyasha cringed a little, the name being brought into the miko's lips.

"She is a kind soul," the miko continued. "She is kind and sincere and she has acceptably allowed me to be with you."

Inuyasha raised his brows in surprise, unable to fight the urge to hide it. His smooth face turned stunned as he gazed at the miko intently. Hoping that Kikyou was joking.

'Kikyou? Be a joker? Keh! That is a dream never happening, fool!'

Inuyasha frowned. She was not joking.

"She has gladly told me that I can be with you again... and that you can be with me again..."

—
Until the day I reach eternal sleep,
that smiling face will
have to stay with me without fail.
—

She sat herself back down on the cliff, restarting her doing over again, hoping to make it right. She swung her feet playfully, gazing down at the forest below her, below the fall.

She smelled the air, the remarkable smell of leaves. She smelled the wind, for it also smelled like leaves. She was told that wind carries many secrets. And what was told was correct.

It whispered to her, singing to her, telling her something she didn't know. It told her the secrets of life, the hidden mystery of the forest. It told her about Kikyou, and what happened. But no matter, she had already known that one.

Sighing, Kagome closed her eyes and tilted her face up. The quietness eased her a little, creating a small growing hole of strange emotions inside her.

Why am I sitting here, doing nothing?

'You're not doing nothing. You're waiting. That's something, not nothing.'

Yes. But... still, I feel like all I've been doing is waiting.

'You don't need to tell me. Naraku is dead and it comes to both of us to decide what we should do next. What you should do next.'

Kagome gave an enfeeble smile.

"I already know," she murmured quietly.

Another hour had barely passed but it seemed an eternity since she had been waiting patiently for them. Kagome watched the river, its sparkle, and its view. The morning was lukewarm but the air was chilly. She trembled a little, letting her shudder persist until it ended. Unfortunately, it didn't.

She gazed at the sight below, eyes dull. Thought of her wanting came back to her, ebbing a desire to jump. Unfavorably, she kicked the thought out of her mind.

'Are you making the right choice?'

Choice? On what?

'On doing this. Letting her do this.'

Kagome nodded.

I think so.

'You think so? What is that suppose to mean?'

If it is a good choice, I'll be happy with it; I'll accept it. If it isn't then... I have nothing to do against it, I guess.

'Are you sure?'

Kagome nodded.

"If I'm talking to myself then why can't you just agree with what I want?" she uttered quietly.

'You are pushing me away. I'll fear that as days go on like this with such acceptance, you'll push me away until you aren't yourself anymore.'

She chuckled.

Why would you think that? You're me! I can't just push myself away from my self.

'Heh, are you sure?'

She didn't answer. Instead, Kagome turned her head, to look at the intruder that approach her 'hideaway'. She felt his presence, leaping swiftly towards her, as if seeking and hunting her down.

Her ebony loose locks obscured her sight at first, but it quickly fell into place and flew with the wind in rhythm, making her see once again. The figure of red stood not too far away behind her, staring at her with a face she could not read.

His silvery hair flung forward, as hers flung backwards. His ears, those canine ears, flattened a little, exposing his worried look. His golden pond eyes glimmered with another emotion she could not understand. It was either she was to stand up and run up to him... or to ignore him and keep watching the view underneath the fall below.

Thinking of neither, Kagome fully turned her head so that she did not have to stare at the hanyou with the corners of her eyes. He stood there for a while, as if waiting for her to arise. She didn't. Instead, she merely sat where she was, head turned to gaze back at him. The trembling still did not stop. Kagome did not care.

A smile crept her the corners of her lips, unusually lifting up to her cheeks not too broadly. Her face were of kindness, but she knew him too well that he knew she was broken. She did not care.

"Inuyasha," her smile was subtle, dull, and dead. Her face showed kindness but it unveiled vacant and silent. She spoke kindness, as well as brittle.

"You came too soon."

—
Back then, when we met,
it was all awkward.
We went the long way, didn't we?
We got there in the end.
—