Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!
CAKEEATER : Ahh, you'll have to wait and find out who found her won't you? Lol. Yeah I thought it was pretty sweet to have a few of the ducks thoughts about her. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
XSARAH : Arr thanks : ) lol. 'Saa-weet' a new word for my dictionary me thinks lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
CONNIE/CHARLIE FAN : Totally agree with you, that Connie and Charlie need to talk, but will talking do any good? Lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
HOCKEY-GIRL90 : Hey, no worries, you've read it and that's all that matters to me lol. Your cat's so lucky then, sharing thee same b-day lol Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
SWEETNJUICYX0 : Thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
SUMMER FLARE1 : I am totally honored that anyone reads this lol. I can't however promise a Julie/Portman story, but I seriously will try and 'rev' myself up to do one, one day lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
Chapter 13
I stood far enough back that she didn't know I was there, but I could see her clearly. She was sat under a big oak tree in the park. Her spot I presumed wasn't exactly thought through, yet funnily enough she'd picked an open area, where people could see her clearly and no-one in their right mind would attack her. 'Found her'. I text a few of the ducks from my cell phone, knowing it would be like a chain mail and carry on until they all knew.
I slowly headed to her, letting her become aware of my presence in her own time. She didn't look up from her spot, but shuffled over to give me enough of the tree to lean against. I could see she'd been crying, the tear stains were unmistakable.
"You ok"? I nudged her gently with my shoulder.
"Define ok"? She sniffed. I offered her my sleeve, the only thing I had. "No thanks". A small and I mean small, laugh escaped her lips.
"What happened"? I eased gently into the question.
"Nothing worth freaking out about, like I did really. But I just can't seem to stop". She confided.
"Hey, you're allowed to be scared. But I mean c'mon it's getting better. You're easing back into things, which is great".
"I'm tired of running scared though. I just want to get back to normal, to feel normal. I never used to run before, but God all I do lately is run. I feel like, for every step forward I take, I'm running back 2".
"Ever thought about trying out for the track team"? I joked, then realized it wasn't really the time. "Listen, you have to give yourself time. You can't expect everything to fall back into place straight away. You have to regain your trust in people again, and it isn't going to happen over night". I lifted my arm and she leant into my embrace. "Everything's going to be alright, you'll see". I kissed her hair line, holding her tight.
"Does Charlie know I freaked out"? I guessed she already knew the answer.
"Yeah. All the ducks do. They've all been out looking for you". I replied.
"See. Before non of you would have thought about coming to look for me. You all treat me like a china cup". She sat up slightly, and looked directly at me. "Even you guys look and treat me differently. Why? Am I that different now"?
"You're not different at all. We don't mean to, but it's just hard for us". I began to try and explain. "None of us just, well we don't know what to say. We all want to help you through it, but we just haven't got the first clue how".
"The best way to help is to treat me exactly the same as you did before, instead of someone whose missing a limb or something". She admitted. "I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself, I don't need sympathy, no-one's died". This sounded more like the old Connie.
"I'll try and remember that". I gave her a quick squeeze, as if telling her I meant it. "So, you wanna tell me exactly what scared you back there"?
"It's stupid really. I just well, Ramsden kinda got in my face, telling me I wasn't playing my best or something. It just kinda brought back memories, you know".
"When you say memories"?
"No, I don't mean I think it was Ramsden. When Ramsden gets in your face, he has this habit of hissing. When he started hissing, the um, the guy who, um attacked me, he, um he hissed in my face". I could tell it was hard for her to tell me this.
"And that's why you ran"? I clarified.
"Yeah. Stupid huh"?
"No, never". I answered pulling her even closer to me and kissing her forehead again.
We sat under the tree for another hour so, just talking. She managed to open up enough to tell me about her problems with Charlie. I have to admit, I had noticed Charlie distance himself recently. He seemed as though he wanted to be there for her, yet not really wanting to be near her. He seemed far more mixed up than her. I knew Adam had brought the subject up once when I was sat with him and Charlie. But Charlie simply dismissed his claims, telling him he was reading too much into it.
Whilst Connie was talking, I kept quiet throughout, not wanting to be the one to confirm her thoughts that things had definitely changed between them. After she got everything off her chest, we moved onto an easier subject. Our past. It was nice sat watching the sun slowly set, reminiscing together of all the laughs we'd had.
"Can you remember when we were about 5, maybe 6 and that Chris Selmer kept bullying us, so that one lunch break at school, we tied him to that tree with my jump rope". She giggled.
"Oh yeah. The big baby cried his eyes out until the teacher found him. Of course they knew it was you because it was your jump rope".
"I did try and tell them that non of you had anything to do with it, but they wouldn't believe me, and just kinda figured that you were involved".
"Can you blame them? Whenever you were in trouble, at least one of us always tended to be right there with you". I laughed.
We continued talking for another few minutes until I stated we ought to get back. It was dusk now, and she latched onto me like a young child scared of losing her parent. I wrapped one arm around her shoulders comfortingly, whilst continuing to talk to her. I knew this was the first time she'd actually been out this late since the attack. Although I knew my presence comforted her slightly, I knew she was very aware of our situation.
I soon had her back on campus, and walked her right to her dorm room. She thanked me for everything, before entering the room, and closing the door securely behind her. I walked away, the evening running through my mind and how messed up she truly was. I headed straight to the common room of our dorms, and found all the ducks hanging around, most of them awaiting my presence patiently, others mostly Charlie, impatiently.
"Hey! hey, where'd you find her"? He almost pounced on me when I walked through the door.
"In the park". I walked passed him, and sat on a spare chair, facing the rest of the ducks. "And before you ask, yes she's fine". I informed Charlie mainly. "Oh and she also made it clear that we've gotta stop treating her like fine china, and treat her normally".
After a few minutes, Julie headed back to her and Connie's dorm, to spend the remaining part of the evening with her. I hadn't failed to notice however Charlie made no move to go and check on her. This was when I really noticed things had most definitely changed for him. He'd usually have spent every waking second with her, but now, he was far too hesitant.
I glanced toward Adam, who seemed to be reading my mind, and nodded gently. I nodded my head in the direction of the door, then stood up, excusing myself into going to grab a bite to eat. Adam immediately stood and said he too would accompany me, apparently everyone else had either eaten or wasn't hungry. We walked a safe distance before beginning talking.
"She knows you know". I told him. "Well she thinks she knows. But I've made some excuses up for him, saying he's just struggling and shit like that". I told him.
"He is, that's just it. But I think it's getting more than that now". Adam said.
"Do you think we ought to tell him. I mean he can't keep going on like this with her. He either needs to get his act together or end it with her. Non of this is helping Connie, and trust me, if she ever finds out, she'll be heart broken. She has very little trust at the minute anyway. She already thinks we're all looking at her differently, finding out that the guy she loves and that's supposed to love her back is seeing her differently will kill her".
"I don't think we've got much choice to be honest". He replied.
"Tomorrow then, after classes. We'll get him on his own in our room".
We agreed and sorted a plan out, before heading to the cafeteria that was on campus. I grabbed a bite to eat and we headed back to the others. Things continued as normal for the rest of the evening and the following day, until classes ended and both myself and Adam almost dragged Charlie back to our dorm, letting Portman, Fulton and Julie meet Connie after her classes and walk her back to her room. Charlie seemed a little suspicious as to why we were so desperate to get him in our room, but said nothing. Once there, Adam shut the door and we both looked at Charlie.
"Charlie, we want the truth. Do you still love Connie"? I asked immediately.
"What? Of course I do. What kind of question is that"? He glared at us.
"Well it's just that Connie, and well both of us have noticed how distant you've become toward her. Now we've put it all down to the fact we all feel a little awkward around her, you more so than everyone else, but that reasoning's wearing pretty thin don't you think"? Adam stated.
"Are you for real? I can't believe you're both stood here accusing me of not loving my own girlfriend"! Charlie yelled. "YES, ok, Connie isn't the same person to me anymore, but God, how can she be. She is different no matter how you look at it. She herself acts and thinks differently". His voice was full of anger, yet there was so much hurt and pain there. "But it doesn't mean I love her any less". He almost muttered after a few seconds.
"Charlie, you have to tell her how you feel. She needs to know". I told him.
"How can I Averman? It'll break her heart". He replied.
"It'll break her heart more if you don't and she finds out". I answered.
So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!