A/N: You know the deal. Still not mine.

Another really short chapter. Have fun!

It was waking up with the wet pillow that really did it for me. I couldn't stand it any longer. I needed to pull myself together, to take control. This had already gone too far.

I knew that this game couldn't go on any longer. I couldn't go on playing, using both of them, pulling them alongs like puppets on strings. It was against my morals. (I know a lot of people think I don't have any morals, but they're very wrong. I have morals. I have a very strong set of ethics, stronger than Roger's or Benny's or even Angel's or Collins's or Mark's.) It would tear me apart to do that to them. After all, they're human beings too.

I decided that the game must end. I had to make a choice. I couldn't keep this up forever, or much longer. I'd have to come to my senses and force myself to dothe impossible. I'd have to get rid of one.

I knew right away that I couldn't get rid of Mark. I had been with him too long. I knew him too well. I couldn't simply dump him for a woman. That would be way too cruel. We'd been together too long for that. I knew not to ruin a relationship for something like Joanne. I liked Joanne, but I loved Mark. I couldn't do this to him, to myself. If I did, I'd never forgive myself for the pain I'd cause him. I'd rather die.

Mark was my baby, my love. He was the person I lived for. Joanne was just this woman I met and happened to have sex with.

Then again, Joanne and I had a special connection. I felt something for her that had never happened with Mark. Maybe it wa because we shared a gender. I'm not sure. It could simply be that she and I, both being women, had had similar experiences in the past, and that brough tus close together. Whatever it was, there was something there, definitely. I couldn't put my finger on what, but I knew there was something.

No, no, no. I had to stop thinking this way. I didn't love Joanne, I loved Mark. Anyways, who knew if Joanne was going to stick around? How could I tell if our relationship was going to last? I knew Mark and I could survive. How? We'd been surviving for almost 3 years already. We could last. I had no idea about Joanne. Perhaps she was only a one-night stand? How would I feel then?

No, it was much better to break thing off with her before I was in way over my head. Save myself, and Mark, now while the water's not too deep. I never thought Joanne and I were meant to be. So I knew what I had to do.

"Hey, Jo?"

"Mmmm?"

"I can't do this. I can't hurt Mark like this. I've been with him too long. I just met you. I can't risk my relationship with him. I'm so sorry. You see, close to a year ago, for our second anniversary, I decided that I would never cheat on him again. And I-"

"Had that been a problem?" Joanne inquired, surveying me coolly.

"Well... only after a big fight or something, but... yeah. It had. So I vowed to stop it, before I ruined our relationship. And I did. I never cheated again, or even flirted, and I kept it up for almost a year. Then I met you. You're like no one I've ever met, Joanne. I feel something for you I've never felt for anyone else. Some conection or something. I feel I've had something with you I've never had with Mark-"

"Sex?"

"No, Jo, I've had sex with Mark. I mean, like a feeling. I felt something I'd never felt when I was with Mark, ever before-"

"An orgasm?"

"NO! Not funny. I mean, I felt a connection with you instantly. Maybe it's just because we're both women. I don't know. But there's something here. But I can't find out. I can't leave it to be worked with. I've got to put a stop to this, so I can save my relationship with my boyfriend. There's something that I feel for you, only you and not Mark. Just remember that, if you ever need me, that there are people who love you. A lot. But I'm just not letting it be me."

"Well, okay. But you'd better get back to your Mark. Don't want to worry him. Or make him suspicious. If you love him, you'd better leave me."

"Well, you're probably right. I had better get going, Jo," I said, not wanting to get up, put my clothes back on, or leave the comfort and security of the bed.

"Don't call me that. Anyways, this is probably for the better. If we'd kept this up, I feel sure I would've made you choose between me and Mark at some point or another."

"I guess you're right. But before I go, can I just have one last kiss from you?" I asked shyly.

"Well, I guess one kiss is okay," she said, giving in. Before she finished talking I leaned over and presed my lips to hers, in one last passionate, truly heartfelt kiss. Without meaning to, we deepened the kiss. I saw sparks fly. We fell into passion and let thing heat up again.

Twenty minutes later, I stood up and pulled my leather pants on. "I can't believe we just did it again, right after I broke up with you!" I exclaimed, furious at myself for what I had done.

"It's all right. Just go on home to Mark now. It will be okay.I won't tell him. And I know you won't," she added.

"Of course not. It would break his heart." I threw on my shirt over my lacy black bra and looked at her. She started right back. We shared a glance, a longing, passionate, desperate gaze before I couldn't take any more. I got up and left the room. I headed out of her apartment, down the stairs, out the door, and across the street to the car without looking back. I felt as if I never would.

On the way home, my mind was in turmoil. For the fifteen minutes it took to drive back to the loft, I thought non-stop about Joanne. I remembered her hair, skin, and eyes, I remembered her apartment, I remembered her bed with the creamy white sheets. I thouht about my decision. Had I made the right choice in giving up Joanne over Mark? Did I even love Mark? Ah, but did I love Joanne?

I pondered over these questions and more until I got home. Even after I arrived at the top floor of the run-down building. I kept thinking until I got into my bedroom. There, waiting for me, was the sleeping Mark in our bed. I took a glance at the familiar surroundings, the familiar mess of the room. I remembered how spotless Joanne's apartment and bedroom floor was. Then I forced muself not to think about her. I shed my clothes and threw them on the floor, like I always did. I climbed into the bed with Mark.

As I took my place as his side, I looked into his sweet, dreaming face. That was all it took. One look into his angelic face, though asleep, told me I had made the right choice after all. I sighed dreamily and fell into a calm, soothing, dreamless sleep.