This chapter was written in a burst of creativity and boredom. Enjoy!

That night, I called Angel's number. A man's voice answered.

"Hello, who's this?"

"Hi! This is Maureen Johnson. Is Angel there?" I asked tentatively.

"Sure, hon. Here she is. Angel!" he yelled to the background.

A few seconds later, I heard the familiar voice. "Hey, Maureen. What are you up to?"

"Oh, not much. Whereabouts do you live, anyway?"

"I currently live in Midtown West,but it's too pricey. And plus, people here don't like me. I'm looking for a place in the East Village."

"Hey, that's where I live. On Avenue A. Look around the Alphabet City for apartments. You'll get better deals. Plus, we'll be neighbors," I exclaimed.

"Cool. You have roommates?" she asked casually.

"Yeah, I have five. No," I corrected myself, "I lied. I keep forgetting that Benny moved out. I have four. There's Mark, and Mark's childhood friend Roger, and Roger's girlfriend April, and then there's Collins. He's a professor at NYU," I explained.

"And who's Benny?" she asked.

"Our landlord, and ex-roommate. He now lives with his girlfriend Mimi. I've only seen her once, briefly. He met her at a club, I think she's a stripper. God, she looks like fifteen!"

"Wow, that's young. And why did Benny live with you all?"

"Oh, he and Mark were roommates in college at Brown."

"I see. Hmmm... that's a lot of people."

"Well, Mark and I have one room, Roger and April have the other, and Collins has the couch. Benny used to sleep in a chair, or something. I don't know. Maybe he and Collins traded off. But he sure wasn't in our rooms!" I joked. Angel laughed. She had a nice laugh, like little bells.

"Anyway, what are you up to?" I asked.

"Nothing much, I'm kind of bored. I was actually hoping you'd call. How's Mark? He looked sort of tired today."

"Well, he probably had a late night last night or something... at work," I lied. I wasn't sure how she' d respond to the truth, that we'd gotten busy that morning.

"Hmmm..." Angel murmured suspiciously. I could almost see her thinking, Sure, honey. You keep thinking that. Maybe he's having an affair. But, of course, I'd rather seem the innocent one, for once. I was enjoying myself.

"Are you seeing anyone?" I interrupted her thoughts.

"Right now," she said, with a lowered voice, "yes, but not for long. He's boring me, and he ain't too nice to me either. That's another reason I'm trying to move," she confided in hushed tones.

"I see, well, if he's giving you a real ton of trouble, you could always stay here. It's cramped quarters, but we're all nice people, except Roger, sometimes," I giggled, and so did Angel, "and we have a little space since Benny moved out."

"That's s kind of you, hon, but I think I'd rather get my own place. Thanks anyway."

"Well, if you are really desperate later, the offer still stands," I told her.

"Sure, hon. Thanks bunches. I gotta go now, ciao bella!" she said in her normal voice.

"'Kay, see you!" I agreed. With that, we hung up.

Around a week later, when I was at work, my cell rang.

"Hello, Maureen Johnson. To whom do I owe this pleasure of speaking?" I said in a bright, flowery voice.

"Hi. This is Joanne."

My mouth suddenly went dry. "Joanne?" I asked through parched lips.

"Yes. I was wondering... well, I was just thinking about you. Hell, honey, I think about you all the time. And I was wondering... if you're not doing anything tonight...?" she tried to ask me.

"I... I can't. Mark would-"

"Hon, I already talked to Mark. He says it's okay. It's you, me, and Sophie, our high school friend. We're all having a pizza party at my house. Want to come?" she asked devilishly, her old swing back in her voice.

Just as mischievously, I said, "I'd love to."

"So, is Sophie a lesbian too?" I asked with a mouthful of pizza.

"No. She's married. I'm single, and you... well, I didn't need to bring that up to Mark."

"Thanks, baby." I loved her right now. I hated to say it, but she was growing on me more and more. Besides, tonight was a rule-free night. There was nothing to say. Mark had totally allowed it. He never said we couldn't cuddle, kiss, or have sex. He just assumed we wouldn't. Of course, this demonstrates Rule #1 of Maureen: Never assume anything.

"Imagine, though, if she were..." Joanne said dreamily.

"Yeah! We could have a threesome!" I cheered. "Go hot lesbian sex!" Joanne laughed.

"So, I need a story to bring home to Marky. What does she look like?"

"Mmmmm, she's a hot blonde, with clear blue eyes."

"No! She's a brunette, with childish braids."

"I love immature women," she laughed pointedly at me.

"Hey!" I joked. "And what should she wear?"

"How about those sexy black leather pants, like yours?" she suggested.

"Maybe red. They're a bitch to get out of, though," I told her.

"I know. But Mark doesn't need to."

"He does," I replied, with a straight face. "Believe me, he knows."

"Okay... how about jeans?"

"Fine. And a green tank, with a little sweater."

"Honey, it's winter."

"Fine, a light blue down jacket."

"Good. And a cute little fleece sweatshirt."

"Yay! Fleece is so cuddly!"

"I'll give you cuddly!" she said, mock-menacingly.

"Yes, please!" I said, and we fell onto the couch laughing.

The next morning, as I drove home, I was faced with the same dilemma again. Mark or Joanne? Joanne or Mark? Then... why couldn't I have both? I am not married to Mark or anything. He totally approves of my relationship with Joanne. No, he doesn't. He approves of your friendship with Joanne. If he knew what the two of you are really doing up there, he'd be gone in a flash. Yeah, but...

I couldn't win against my own common sense. I'd tried before.

But this time was different.

When I got home, I heard an answering machine message that drove all other thoughts from my mind. It was a female on the phone. For Mark.

"Hi, Mark. This is Cindy. How are you, hon? Kimmy and John are here too, but they're napping. I hope you can come see us soon. We miss you, Marky. Love, Cindy."

Dun dun dun! Is Mark cheating?!?!?!?!? MARKY?!?!?

No. It's only his sister, Cindy. But Maureen doesn't know that. Sshhhhh!

"We are sure hilarious hijinks will ensue!

(They DON'T.)"

quote from Broadway Abridged's Wicked. Ignore that.