Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

PUNKTEACHER : See Coach Ramsden ain't that bad really lol. I kinda liked writing him becoming soft lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

HOCKEY-GIRL90 : Thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : Don't worry about it. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

C-CHAN96 : Thanks for the review of chapter 7. Yeah you're getting there, slowly but surely lol – best way trust me lol. I'm sure if Charlie could, he would take you up on your proposal, but I'm telling you, if you're marrying Charlie, I'm marrying Adam no arguments lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

CAKEEATER : Arr I'm glad you had a good time in Cyrus, I've always wanted to go there, no idea why, I think it's cause the name sounds very exotic, and trust me I need something exotic lol. I love you, ya know, but not like that lol, but no matter what, you ALWAYS manage to kinda remind me, that you're a Connie/Guy fan, kudos to you for sticking with your couple lol. You still think it's Enrique? How could you, he was like dead cool lol. You don't trust Ramsden? You don't trust many people do ya lol. Anyways thanks for your 3 reviews and support. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 18

CONNIE'S P.O.V

In the following few months, things gradually got easier. Though I still had my moments of paranoia, my life seemed to slowly get back to normal. I was back playing hockey with more gusto than Coach Ramsden was counting on. I strangely began getting on with him, and understanding why he pushed me so hard. Though the girls on the team still found it odd that I neither argued or said anything untoward about him, they slowly began accepting that I for some strange reason, had seen a side to Ramsden that they hadn't. In fact Julie and the guys even found it odd that I was now getting on with him.

I was no longer the talk of the campus. Though some students brought it up every so often, I was no longer hot gossip. However the first hockey game I played, the opposing team had obviously done their homework thoroughly and had learnt of what had happened to me, deciding to use it to their advantage. Whenever I was sent out, which was most of the game, they sent their two best enforcers after me, trying to intimidate me. They did at first, until Ramsden wound me up, and I got angry, taking my fury out on them at every opportunity. After the next few games of that happening, I became known as the new enforcer.

I started going to a few self defense classes too, dragging the very enthusiastic Julie along with me. We were taught numerous moves we could use in certain situations, though the instructor Claire explained the best way to protect ourselves was not to put ourselves in the situations in the first place. For the first time, I found myself admitting my mistake to the class, and found I wasn't the only one. 2 of the women in the class had also been raped and mugged. It made it easier for me, realizing I wasn't the only one who'd been through it. Even better than that, the three of us, organized to meet for coffee and we talked constantly about how we each dealt with our problems. It was nice being able to talk openly to someone who'd experienced the same pain as myself.

I continued visiting Jen, though not as secretly as I had been doing. At first, when everyone first found out about me, I was visiting her nearly every day, but just recently, I simply popped in once a week, just to get everything off my chest. Eventually I found myself talking less about my rape and more about the whole drama with Charlie. Jen also said more or less what Julie had. That if we were meant to be together, we'd get back together at some point, but for now, I needed to become comfortable with myself before starting a relationship up again.

I also went back to work, knowing in my heart I couldn't avoid it forever. Enrique was great, allowing me to work the kitchen area rather than the counter, so I could slowly lower myself back into the bustle of the busy café. Julie worked the exact same hours as me, and every night nearly all the guys came to walk us home. 'Safety in numbers' Fulton had informed me. The first night walking home had been hard, and upon sensing this Fulton and Dwayne sandwiched me between them, whilst Averman and Goldberg told jokes much like they always did.

Things between me and Charlie were still pretty much the same. We became more comfortable hanging around with each other, though there was still this unspoken word between us. I was still very much in love with him, but after much thought, I decided I was much better leaving things as they were. I needed to learn to depend on myself again.

A few times, I had caught Charlie's eye, and thought I had seen him glancing at me. Though he wasn't dating anyone, I knew it would only be time until he moved on. I knew then I would really hurt, seeing him happy with someone other than me. The thought simply made me feel sick.

"C'mon Jules, the guys are gonna be out front waiting to walk us to the game, any second". I shouted at my room mate as she dug deep in her closet looking for her absent skate.

"I can't find my skate". She whined, as she tried sliding her hand further toward the back of her closet.

"It can't be that far back Jules, you had it when, yesterday". I giggled slightly.

"It's not here". Frustration and panic etched it's way into her voice.

I was about to get up, and go in my own closet and look for it, or to grab my spare pair for her to borrow, when I saw her other skate sat exactly where she'd put it yesterday after taking it out of her bag. I laughed to myself, thinking how disorganized she truly was.

"Of course it's not there". I chuckled gently.

"Connie. This isn't a laughing matter". Julie responded sharply.

"Oh I think it is Jules". I couldn't suppress my laughter any longer. "Especially considering I can see your skate from here". She looked at me, then toward the area I was looking at.

Within a split second, she'd spotted the lone skate and lunged forward for it, as though at any second it could re-hide itself. I laughed at her antics, before reaching for my own bag, and lifting it onto my shoulder with ease. Julie too followed suite, and headed out the door in front of me, then waited whilst I locked it. I was still giggling slightly when we slipped through the main doors.

"Why you girls take so long is beyond me. We were just about to come get you". Luis stated.

The guys were stood in a crowd at the bottom of the few steps, awaiting our presence. They too had their hockey bags, since they had a game shortly after us. When we reached them, Portman and Julie had a quick embrace accompanied by wolf whistles and gagging noises. Portman took her bag easily from her shoulder, before wrapping his arm around her. I felt a familiar pang upon this, Charlie used to do the exact same thing for me, even though I always maintained the fact I was perfectly capable of carrying my own bag. Realizing I was staring gently after them, I quickly stumbled to fill the silent void.

"It isn't us girls that take so long Luis, is it Julie". I said pointedly, a giggling playing on my lips.

"Can I help it if my left skate went AWOL". She whined like she had earlier, but then laughed soon joined by a few others. "But you're not exactly super speedy getting ready yourself".

"I beg to differ Julie, I'm 10 times faster than you". I argued lightly with her. She looked at me in disbelief. "Averman, back me up, I get ready faster than you". I looked to my age old friend for support.

"She does get ready impeccably fast". He admitted.

Before we knew it, we were at the ice arena. Just inside the main doors, we were to separate from the guys. Whilst they were headed for the stands, we were headed for the changing rooms. I turned waiting for Julie to unglue herself from Portman's side. I watched with slight jealousy, as they each wished each other luck, and kissed each other tenderly. The ducks all shouted good luck to us, as we backed away and headed for our changing rooms.

"What's wrong Con's"? Julie asked after a few seconds. "You've gone all quiet all of a sudden". She stated.

"Nothin' just thinking". I answered.

"About Charlie"?

"No! what makes a you think that"? I answered defensively.

"Con's I see the way you look at him when you think no-one's watching. You miss him don't you"?

"Of course I miss him Jules. We were together nearly 4 years. It's just, that sometimes, when I see you and Portman together, it kind of reminds me of what I had with Charlie". I reasoned with her. "And you know, he'll end up finding some curvaceous blonde who can't tell a hockey stick and a puck apart, while I'm left to wallow in spinster hood".

"I think you'll find, he's still very much hung up over you". She told me gently, as we reached the changing room.

We dropped our conversation there. I knew though at some point it would arise again. Whilst I was getting changed, her words played over and over in my mind. 'Still very much hung up over you', was she serious? Had I been wrong to break up with him? I mean what if I'd heard what he was saying in the wrong context, I hadn't heard the full conversation, I'd left probably before it ended.

"Right let's go girls". Ramsden called through the door.

We all filed out of the changing rooms, and headed down the ramp toward the ice. Ramsden headed straight for the team box, where he checked his roster one more time. The moment we stepped out onto the ice, the arena went into uproar but you could spot the ducks a mile away, they were the only ones with massive posters with our names and numbers plastered all over them, and might I add they were the loudest. It was very much appreciated in my eyes. We did our warm ups and joined Ramsden on the bench. After giving us a few last minute pointers, and words of encouragement. I took my position on the ice, waiting for the face off.

"How ya doing shorty". Number 5 of the opposing team came and stood by my side. "Cause I guarantee you won't be feeling that way when we've done with ya". It was a typical, comment opposing teams told you, to try and make you feel nervous.

"You're right, I'll feel ten times better". I snided back, watching as the puck hit the ice.

Before the player by my side had the opportunity to knock me over, I skated away from her, following the puck down the ice. I was aware of her following me, but tried my hardest to ignore her. Getting tired of her, I spun to the side, immediately seeing her skate by me. I was now open and near enough to the goal to have a clean shot. One of my team mates passed the puck to me, only to be incepted by number 7. We all took off down to the other end of the ice, after the puck. There was a slight scuffle then the puck was set loose. The ref blew her whistle shouting 'face off'. I stopped by Julie's side, along with Tina.

"Is it me, or are these girls a little too butch"? Tina laughed gently.

"They are like man beasts". I laughed and headed to take the face off.

I won the face off and skated down the left side toward the goal. I didn't notice number 5 headed straight for me, and by the time I did, it was too late. She flew into me with such speed. I felt like a pinball being ricochet. Because I had been skating passed the team box, I was thrown into them. Luckily the girls caught me and pushed me easily back onto the ice. I could faintly hear a booing noise and knew it was from the ducks. Feeling a slight rage, I took off after number 5, stole the puck and hit it in any direction before crashing her hard into the boards.

"I might be short, but hell I can still check people twice as big as you". I spat and skated away.

Throughout the 1st period, all I seemed to be doing was fighting off number 5's advances to check me. It wasn't just me, she was brutal toward anyone who crossed her path. On more than one occasion she managed to check me. The 2nd period went much the same, though we managed to score twice, leading the opposing team who had yet to score. Since I had spent most of the 1st period out on the ice, much of the 2nd period, I was on the bench. I used the time to watch some of the other players, trying to pick their weak spots. Toward the end of the period, I was sent out again. I could tell the other team were tiring, and I took the opportunity to steal the puck, and went on a breakaway. When I reached the goalie, I took my shot, but she knocked it away. With very few players around me, I caught the rebound and tried again, this time sliding it straight passed her.

The 3rd period was very eventful, the opposing team tried frantically to catch up to our 3 point lead, but instead of concentrating on scoring, we tightened our defense even more, and I'm proud to say they rarely got anywhere near our goal. The more frantic they got, the worse their playing became. Number 5 again was following me around like a bad smell. She checked me twice before I really got mad. I then purposely went after her. I got a few checks in, before she checked me the hardest I've ever been checked before. When I managed to scramble to my feet, I flew after her, shoving her hard. Soon enough we ended up fighting and being dragged away by team mates, but even then I was given two minutes for the fighting, yet she was benched because she'd already gotten the two minutes for the check. When I got back on the ice after my two minutes, I was just starting to have fun, when the buzzer sounded, ending the game. We celebrated for a few minutes, then shook our opponents hands. When I passed number 5 I couldn't resist but smirk at her, in response getting a scowl.

I was toward the back of the group as we finally headed toward our changing rooms, when Charlie suddenly popped out of nowhere. The few players behind me, walked passed, leaving me alone for a few seconds. I looked at him skeptically, as to why he'd pulled me to the side.

"Good game". He finally told me, breaking the silence.

"Thanks". I replied, a little unsure whether that was the whole reason he'd pulled me aside. He then smiled his gorgeous smile, and took off toward the changing rooms. "Good luck". I called after him.

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!