A shortish song fic written with the lyrics of Gone away by The Offspring.
Disclaimer: Anyone who dares to even think I could have assed together something as amazing as Poison Elves will receive a swift kick in the butt, delivered by my foot. All and everrrry little piece of respect goes to Drew Hayes who is The Man.
Gone away
My name is Lusiphur Malache. And now, as I'm standing on the verge of my personal insanity (and not for the first time), staring into the the dark, swirling depths of my mind and at the monsters I always knew were there but kept dismissing for too long, I've come to think the reasons.
Maybe in another life...
The reasons you had to die. Every time I end up in a dead end, because there are none. Your death was totally meaningless, and there's no one left to blame.
...I could find you there...
The first person in centuries who would love me for who I am. The only one who could, you took out the part of my heart that was my love for you...
Pulled away before your time,
I can't deal it's
so unfair
...and it died with you. I might have been emotionally dysfunctional before, and so much of me has now been ripped out I don't feel like I can function at all anymore. It feels...
...and it feels like
...like I'm all dead inside.
Heaven's so far away
The images of you linger in my mind, playing nonstop behind these lowered eyelids. Never leaving me alone, never staying with me. Fire-like hair, fanned over my pillow, heavenly halo illuminating bone white skin...
...and it feels like
...so warm against mine.
the world has grown cold,
now that you've
gone away
Blood red lips whispering into my ear, words I cannot understand yet mean everything to me.
Leaving flowers on your grave
You have no idea what hell I'd go through to hear them again...
show that I still care
...and even that wouldn't be enough.
But black roses and Hail Marys
can't bring back what's
taken from me
For me that hell is this world without you, and now that I know it'd all be in vain, is there any point in struggling anymore?
I reach to the sky
Anything worth living for?
and call out your name
Before I could have found a reason, even the slightest one, simply in living for myself. Back when Luse the Rogue still existed.
and if I could trade
I would
Now the only thing left is the core of my being, naked, stripped from everything that I had wrapped around it to protect myself from all the shit life kept throwing at me.
...and it feels like
My bottle of whiskey is empty and it feels like...
Heaven's so far away
...it's liquid contents have done nothing to ease my pain, only added to the dark tidal wave of my soul that will eventually wash over me, leaving nothing behind.
and it stings
I fish out of my breast pocket a razor, the one I used slit my mother's wrist. The first person who ever truly cared for me. And I killed her. As I hold out my hand, I see you sitting on the razor, legs dangling over the edge. Your fishnet tights are torn, and legs covered in small cuts as you smile at me.
the world is so cold
But you don't bleed. Not anymore.
now that
You blow me a kiss and then you are gone. I wrap my fingers around your memory to keep it from disappearing, and cold metal bites through black leather, tears mingle with blood.
you've
Fuck this shit.
gone away
FIN
Remember kids, suicide solves nothing. EVER.