The Sparkle Alchemist
By the all mighty
all wonderful
all powerful Toboe
With a little help… okay a lot from Mika
Disclaimer
Toboe: O.k.… this is really screwed up… but oh well.
Mika: FEAR THE SPARCLES! Toboe backs away slowly
Toboe: I don't own any one so don't sue me! On with the story now cause Mika is
scarring me…
Mika: SPARKLES!
Toboe: 0.0
It was a normal day at the office…well as normal as it could be. Hawkeye was polishing her gun watching Breda who was cowering on the shelves from her dog. Havoc was smoking while telling the crying Fury how delicious dogs were stir fried. Hughes was shoving pictures of Alicia in everyone's face, and Armstrong was telling Fury and Havoc the Armstrong tradition of some thing … but they weren't listening of course.
"Armstrong!" All of the sudden Roy Mustang threw open the door yelling loudly startling everyone. More chaos ensued when Hawkeye accidentally set of her gun shooting the picture of Alicia, Hughes was waving front of her face.
"NOOOOOOOOOO! ALICIA!" He yelled and fell on the floor in a crying heap. Havoc leaned over, "Alicia, didn't need that arm anyway." "Your right," Hughes said his eyes sparkling happily, "she's cute as it is!"
"Yes sir!" Armstrong said, "What do"- He was cut of by Ed who stomped by with a two foot pile of paperwork muttering darkly about not being short while Al was following him, his stomach purring loudly. Roy rolled his eyes. "Any way I have a file for you from the Furher King Bradley." He handed him a fancy looking document. He read it out loud.
Alex Louis Armstrong the fifth, in the name of the Furher King Bradley your title while no longer be the Strongarm Alchemist, it will be the Sparkle Alchemist. Your new title is represented by the sparkles you are so famous for. You will…
Armstrong cut of there dumbly staring of into space. Havoc tugged the document from his hands. "What dose the rest say?" Hawkeye said as she stared along with every one else at the frozen giant. "Well…" Havoc started to say, "It says some more junk about the line of duty and a strange poem from some creepy kid name Mika… Here's some thing. You are to be sent on a mission in some little dinky town…" He scanned the page "Now this is juicy. There is a little rebellion going down there and he wants…" Havoc went white. "What's wrong?" Fury said finally getting over the whole dog thing. "We're going with him…" "WHAT! Breda screamed falling of his shelve as Fury fainted. "BUT I NEVER LEAVE THE OFFIC," Breda screamed, "YOU CAN"T MAKE ME! DOG!" He quickly scrambled back on the shelves to get away from Hawkeye's dog screaming even louder. "I LIVE HERE! I NEVER LEAVE! I CAN'T EVEN FIGHT!" Roy rolled his eyes again "This is going to be difficult."
---
They had finally gotten Breda into the car without to many casualties. Breda was cowering in a box screaming about never leaving the office until Havoc gagged and tied him up. Fury then threw a blanket over him. "What?" he said when he saw them starring. "What was that for?" Roy said pointing to the blanketed Breda. "Well… When you cover birds they quite down. What?" Fury said as they continued starring. "He isn't a bird," Hawkeye pointed out tiring to helpful. "Let's just go!" Roy sighted. As they drove passed Ed he started laughing, "Ha! Ha! You beep-ing (censored by author) Losers!" He started swinging Al around in a circle chanting loudly. "Cornel Sarcasms gone!"
"Um… Sir," Hawkeye said as Roy's eyes became blazing pits of hate, "Perhaps I should drive?"
---
"Fear my sparkle attack villain!" Armstrong yelled as he posed, his sparkles sparkling. They had finally made it to the town with only three accidents, five pullovers, one Up truck attack, and two Breda breakaways. "NOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE SPARCLE ATTACK! HAVE MERCY" the person fell to the ground and melted. Brenda had been knocked out in the first two seconds while Fury was throwing blankets over everyone. Hawkeye and Roy were doing the usual thing while Havoc was flicking cigarettes at people giving them third degree burns. "This is actually easy" Fury said astonished as people littered the ground at his feet coved in a variety of blankets. "Whatever…" Havoc said and reached for another cigarette, "What the Beep (censored by the author) I'm out of cigarettes!" "Here!" Hawkeye yelled and tossed a spare gun in his direction. "What the beep (censored again)-" he screamed as the gun hit him in the head. "Good job Hawkeye…" Mustang said sarcastically, "We really wanted to knock him out." "Shut Up! Its not like he was actually helping" she snapped.
"Hey…There is too many!" Fury yelled, "Hurry and hide under the blankets." Roy rolled his eyes "Like that will really stop them."
"I will" a deep voice called. They looked up to see Armstrong getting ready to pose. "Hurry!" Roy yelled, "A blanket!" The gang dove under a blanket as the Sparkle Alchemist relished his deadliest attack… The Sizzling Spastic Sparkler!
"THE SIZZILING SPASTIC SPARCLER ATTACK!" he yelled and posed.
A few minutes later Roy and crew tenderly poked their heads from under the blanket. Total chaos was spread around them. Terror stricken people were sprawled across the field screaming. "Well," Roy said "I think we can go home"
"YYYYEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!" Breda yelled as he popped out of nowhere and Fury threw a blanket over him .
Toboe: (Eyes twitch) Dear lord- (cut of as Fury throw a blanket at her and runs away)
Mika: (comes over and pulls the blanket of Toboe) my blanket… (throws the blanket
over herself)
Toboe: That was weird...
Mika: (Havoc runs over and flicked a cigarette at her) Ouch! You gave me a third
degree burn! Come back here! (runs into a few things while running to god knows wear with the
blanket still on her head)
Toboe: 0.0 …Help… Please review! I hope you liked my first funny story :)