Disclaimer: I own nothing
Chapter 5: Lies, Geoff, and bacon
Lily had been lagging behind when they were walking to the Hospital wing; now she was doing the exact opposite on the journey to Professor Dumbledore's office. She seemed even more determined to get them separated as soon as possible, preferably so she could take a shower, and preferably without James' company and get every 'Potter germ' off her face.
"Come on Potter, move it!" Lily snapped.
"Less talking, more walking, Evans," he mimicked her.
God, she's grumpier the usual. All I did was spit some foul potion in her face! What did she do to me? Set me on fire and nearly strangled me to death! James thought. From my calculations, I'd say I have more of a right to be angry at her right about now.
They finally reached the ugly gargoyle statue that leaded to Dumbledore's office. James broke the uncomfortable silence.
"I'm sick of seeing this ugly gargoyle. We should really tell Professor Dumbledore he needs new furnishings, friendlier and tasteful. This gargoyle gives off way bad vibes."
Lily did nothing to hide the confusion on her face. "What are you, an interior decorator? Besides, that gargoyle reminds me of someone." She looked directly at someone to indicate who she was talking about.
"Evans, you really shouldn't put yourself down like that. I mean, comparing your self to a gargoyle. That's really pitiful. I didn't know you had such low self-esteem."
Lily bit her tongue and held herself back from strangling him again.
That's the second time he's done that, responding to your remarks with better one, Lily thought. You're losing your normally wittier self.
She dragged her mind back to why exactly they were doing at the statue.
"Crap," Lily cursed, massaging her forehead. "We don't know the password, Potter! Just….just great...wonderful….fabulous…."
James rolled his eyes. "Jelly slugs," he said effortlessly.
The gargoyle sprang to life and hopped aside, revealing the winding spiral staircase.
"How did you-"
"I was here yesterday," James explained. "Glad the password hadn't been changed. No need to thank me."
Lily ignored his arrogance. "Why were you here yesterday?"
"Cursing Snape."
"What a surprising response," Lily spoke dryly. "Well, considering our hands are stuck, and it'll be a bit difficult going on the staircase; ladies first, Potter." She waved her arm in front of her, signaling James to go forward.
Alright! That was a good one! She congratulated herself. Well done Lily, you're back in the game!
"Ha-bloody-ha," James leered. "You're hilarious." He stepped on to the staircase and Lily followed behind him.
Once the staircase stopped moving, the pair reached the oak door with the griffon shaped brass knocker. Lily was about to knock on the door - however, to Lily's annoyance, James had beaten her to it. The sounds of the knocks echoed in their silence.
Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock...knock-knock...
Lily watched with her mouth gaping in confusion as James continuously knocking merrily on the oak door, not just knocking once, but what would appear to be knocking a lively tune. She grabbed his arm before another knock echoed through her skull.
"Potter, what are you doing? One knock would've been enough! Not a bloody symphony!" she told him indignantly.
"One knock is boring Evans. I thought I'd be original and do a tune." James was about to continue knocking when Lily grabbed his arm again.
Hehe, I'm really annoying her! This is fun, James thought evilly.
"Don't you even dare," she warned him, as his fingers slowly threatened to go for the door knob again. "What are you, an infant? Stop it, you-",
"Come in," a loud voice cut in from behind door.
James and Lily look at each other in confusion, but nonetheless opened the door and saw Professor Dumbledore sitting in his chair.
The portraits whispered and pointed as the pair walked in the circular room, towards the desk that Dumbledore was sitting at.
"Please take a seat," the professor said, flicking his wand effortlessly as two comfy cushion chairs appeared out of the nowhere.
Lily and James –with intensely heated faces- both sat down.
"How did you know it was us, Professor?" Lily asked coyly.
"I heard your quarrelling banter from the stairs," Dumbledore answered with a slight chuckle. "By the way, Mr. Potter, thank you for your melody door knocking." James smiled, whilst Lily rolled her eyes. "Now, either the both of you have suddenly become friends or even more so," James and Lily mutually shook their heads, "Although, that doesn't look to be the case judging from your conversing outside my office, or the looks on your faces right now." The two nodded, mutually again. "So, the explanation of your holding hands must be stuck together by some spell," he concluded. Lily and James breathed a sigh of relief on not having to explain the hand situation again.
Professor Dumbledore is purely a genius, Lily declared in her brain, the guy knows everything.
"I take it from your sighing that your holding hands have caused a few misunderstandings this morning," Dumbledore spoke sympathetically.
"Yeah," James muttered, "Just a few."
"Headmaster, we went to see Madam Pomfrey but she said she'd never seen a spell like this before. She told us to see you. You must know the reverse spell to separate us, right?" Lily asked hopefully.
The fifth years tensed, awaiting his answer whilst Dumbledore stared at them with curiosity.
Hmm, this is a situation...enemies...forced together. What a predicament. Should I tell them, or not... Dumbledore pondered.
He made a snap decision.
"I'm afraid I haven't seen a spell like this before either, Miss Evans." Dumbledore spoke convincingly.
The two gaped at him. Words couldn't describe how they were feeling. It was like being slapped in the face - and James especially knew exactly how that felt considering that it happened to him twice that morning, both equally as painful.
"What? B-but, Professor! You must know! What are we going to do?" Lily cried desperately, standing to her feet. Neither of them could believe it; was it a possibility that they could be stuck together by their hands forever? This question ran through both of their heads. Instantly, they wanted to burst into tears.
"Miss Evans please, calm down."
Obediently, Lily sat back down. She stole a glance at James who seemed to be frozen in shock.
"Are we," James cleared his throat, "Are we going to be stuck like this forever?" he asked quietly.
"I most sincerely doubt you will. In fact," Dumbledore did the usual eye twinkle, "I'm positive," he confirmed with a fixed look. "Now what I suggest is that you carry on with classes and your lives as normal. Which hands are your wand hands, may I ask?" he questioned them.
James held up his right hand easily, the hand free from Lily's. He held his wand loosely in his hand and Dumbledore nodded. He turned his gaze on Lily. The red head was rubbing her head in frustration, her head tilted down with a not so pleased look on her face.
"Miss Evans?"
She tilted her head up and looked at the professor intently. Slowly, she lifted her right hand. It was the one that was attached to James'…
"I see," Dumbledore acknowledged.
Lily peeked at James and spotted him grinning.
Oh yeah! Evans can't use her wand hand! This is perfect. One actually good thing that happened out of all of this crap, James thought happily. He even pictured Sirius doing a victory dance in his head and chuckled to himself. Unfortunately, Lily got the wrong idea and thought he was laughing at her. Her free arm shot out again to grab James' neck.
He jumped back and nearly fell off his chair. "Professor, you've got to stop her before she strangles me again!"
Dumbledore laughed silently at the pair.
"Please Miss Evans, do try and contain yourself from killing Mr. Potter during this experience."
"Yes sir," Lily obligingly agreed. I can't fully kill him, but I can bloody try,
"Since Miss Evans cannot use her wand arm, you will have to do the spells for her, Mr. Potter."
James raised his eyebrows and smiled widely. She'll have to beg me to do any spell she wants.
"Please try not to be ignorant and be more responsible, Mr. Potter."
James gawked at the professor at such a cheeky comment, but said nothing. He couldn't actually think of a reasonable point to defend himself. Lily wasn't shocked by this.
"I will try and find out anything I can about this spell and how to reverse it. The both of you could also do some research in the library, that would help," the professor told them encouragingly. They both nodded. Dumbledore looked at them quite quaintly. "This will be difficult. I trust you know that. It is quite well known in Hogwarts that the both of you don't get along every well." They both snorted loudly in agreement. "However, the both of you have been put in this situation which cannot be solved straight away. You must get along and deal with it. Work together and get through this. Do you both understand?"
"Yes, professor," they answered obediently.
"I'll inform your teachers the circumstances of your situation. Maybe you two should go for breakfast now."
"Thanks, professor." They saw the hint that it was their time to leave. Collectively they got up from the comfy chairs and left the office, returning down the stairs.
"So...we're screwed then," James said gloomily.
Wow, I've never seen James Potter looking vulnerable…giving up so easily, Lily pondered.
"I'm not giving up, Potter. You heard what Dumbledore said. He's going to find out anything he can, and we can do research in the library as well."
"Great...the library, my favourite place in the world," James drawled. Lily ignored the comment.
"We're going to get through this. We'll be separated and then we can both go back to our own lives." Lily glanced over and James and he nodded in reply.
Why us? James thought. Something just doesn't add up...
"Don't..." He chose his words carefully, not wanting the red head to explode in anger. "Don't you think Dumbledore was holding back on something though?"
"What do you mean?"
"It was like he wasn't telling us something…keeping something from us..."
Lily laughed in his face. "Professor Dumbledore would never lie to us!"
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Dumbledore sat in his office chair, watching Lily and James silently leave the office and shut the door. He sat quietly in his thoughts until suddenly a voice called his name from a portrait on the wall.
The portraits on the wall of his office all displayed the past headmasters and headmistresses. They had proved to be great company and use to him. They greatly admired and honoured him, protecting the office from intruders, and, in any situation, supporting and sticking up for Dumbledore. Many mornings and nights he would have long conversations with them.
"Dumbledore?"
He spotted where the voice had come from. It belonged to a past headmistress from long ago, named Martha Cusick. She was an old, grey haired woman, who sat in a rocking chair, looking out a window showing a dull, grey sky.
"Yes, Martha?"
The old woman looked hesitant on speaking further. "If it's not out of place to say..."
"Of course not, please do continue," Dumbledore told her kindly.
She looked more confident to speak. "It's about those two young ones who were here just moments ago. I didn't want to interrupt you talking when they were here but…I recognise the spell involving their attached hands, I know the reverse spell to cure them-"
Dumbledore stopped her. "As do I, Martha," he revealed.
"You do? So you lied to them about knowing the reverse spell? But, why?" Martha asked, confused. "Like you said, they do not seem to get along. This spell could drive them to insanity-"
"Or, bring them closer together." Dumbledore said.
The witch didn't know how Dumbledore had come to that conclusion and remained puzzled.
"You do know there are two ways to reverse the spell?" Dumbledore asked her. Martha nodded. "There is the easy, quick way, involving the one worded reverse spell. However, I would like the two to separate by the second solution. The natural way. You know what that involves, yes?"
"Yes, Dumbledore...but, I don't think the natural way would occur. From what I saw from their arguing and bickering, it shows that the second solution, seems, well...unlikely to happen."
"I do know that they are so called 'enemies'. But I believe this spell could bring them together. Their ability to get along has caused some problems in Hogwarts, I must admit. I think the longer they are stuck together, the more they will learn about each other and reach an understanding." H
Martha forced a smile. "I hope you are right Dumbledore. You are either extremely brave or completely insane."
"I'd say a bit of both..."
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"I can't believe I bloody agreed to this." Lily muttered and she stumbled under the invisibility cloak with James.
"Evans! Will you stop bumping into me! You're not drunk, are you? Because it seems as if you can't even walk in a straight line!"
"Guys," Remus said weakly. The rest of the marauders, Remus, Sirius and Peter walked along with invisible pair as they made their way to the Great Hall for breakfast. "Will you keep it down? People are looking." Remus watched nervously as he saw a first year press his ear to a wall listening for the voices.
Lily remembered back to the conversation in the common room. After James and her had gotten back, they were unbelievably hungry- but this was a problem. Just marching into the great hall with their hands like they were didn't exactly seem like a good idea. The Gryffindor house were already gossiping about them and they preferred it if the rest of the school didn't know as well. Even though gossip spread instantly in Hogwarts; they weren't taking any chances.
That's when James told her about the invisibility cloak. Lily couldn't believe it: he had an invisibility cloak!
Little bugger! Lily thought. So that's how he's been sneaking around Hogwarts after hours doing Merlin knows what! Potter and the rest of marauders being invisible at any time they feel liked it makes me feel very on edge.
She told them a list of horrible things they'd been up to, suggesting even spying on the girls in the showers in the bathroom. Of course, the marauders protested, denying any sort of that thing. They wouldn't sink that low and it would be against the girls privacy! However, Sirius looked extremely nervous and didn't answer.
So here they were: Lily and James under the cloak whilst the rest of the marauders walked with them. Unfortunately, the two were bickering and in the process startling and confusing a few people in passing.
"Try and walk around the people who pass. They are pretty freaked out by you bumping into them and then apologizing. The air doesn't apologize, Evans, although the air doesn't bump into people either."
"I can't help it, Potter! I've never been under one of these before. Its weird."
James narrowed his eyebrows at her. "Its not rocket science! All you have to do is walk with a cloak that's on top of you-"
"Prongs, will you shut it. Geoff's looking at you," Sirius pointed.
James and Lily looked over to a guy who was in their year, a Ravenclaw called Geoff, who was walking towards them with a confused expression. It seemed as if he'd heard James and Lily bickering.
The boy came up to Remus with his perplexed, disturbed face, turning his head in all directions looking to where the voices had supposedly come from.
Lily quickly blushed at the sight of Geoff so nearby; she'd recently had a crush on the boy. Predictably, he was the complete opposite of James. He had blonde hair and was more known for his intelligence and maturity. He was also a prefect, something James was not. James quickly noticed Lily's blushing and was thoroughly annoyed.
"Hey guys," Geoff said absentmindedly to the three visible marauders. He was still turning his head around looking for Lily's and James voices he'd heard. "Do you hear voices? It sounded like Lily Evans and James..."
Did he just say Lily Evans? Lily asked herself. He knows my name! He recognises my voice! Don't panic Lily, calm down!
It was as if James could read her thoughts. He could tell Lily was happy at Geoff's words.
So, Evans has a little crush on ickle Geoff here, hmm? James thought bitterly. Well, I'll see about that.
"Nope, nah, nothing. I didn't hear anything. Nothing at all," Peter said.
Sirius rolled his eyes at his inability to act cool in a awkward situation.
"No, Geoff. Dunno what you're talking about mate. We didn't hear anything," Sirius said coolly.
Geoff gave them another bewildered look.
"Are you sure? I swear I heard-"
James had had enough. He was bored by watching this conversation and just wanted to eat his breakfast now- and this thing with Geoff was delaying valuable eating time. He interrupted Geoff's talking and spoke in a ghostly, booming voice, sneakily disguising his own recognized one.
"Geeeooooff! Geeeooo-OW," James cut off suddenly after being hit in the stomach by Lily under the cloak. She shot him a furious look and asked him what on earth he was doing.
Remus and Peter were also confused. Sirius was the only one shooting a curious look to the invisible James. Unfortunately, he was looking in the wrong direction, so he was actually giving the curious look to a wall.
"Did you hear that?" Geoff whispered frantically. "Did you hear it?"
Remus and Peter didn't know whether to answer, so Sirius did.
"Um...no, I didn't hear anything," Sirius replied hesitantly, giving another curious look to the wall. Hmm, what's Prongsie up to? he wondered.
"Geeeooooff! Beware Geooooff! BEWARE!" James called again in a ghostly voice.
The boy was petrified. Meanwhile, Lily was fuming.
What the hell is that baboon doing? Lily screamed in her head. I'll KILL him!
She was about to strangle him again but James had warningly got out his wand, pointing it to her, and simply shook his head.
That little-Why did my wand hand have to be attached to his hand! Why me? This is so unfair! Lily helplessly backed off.
"Geeeoff! Beware! Beware..." James called again, his tone slightly uninterested now. This is getting a bit old now, better change it to something, like beware of the...something? James thought hurriedly. "Beware Geeooofff! Beware of the...bacon? um...yeah! Beware of the bacon!" he said lamely.
Bacon.Out of all the things to think of, bacon popped in your mind? Stupid, like he's gonna be scared of that. You've let your stomach control your mind again…
"The bacon..?" Geoff answered to the air, his eyes showing fear and confusion.
"YES! Do not eat the bacon Geoff!" James finished. Wow, if he believes this crap then he is''t intelligent as everyone makes him out, he chuckled to himself.
By this time, Geoff was so utterly puzzled and troubled that he was walking his way hurriedly towards the Hospital Wing.
"Gotta go see Madam Pomfrey...the voices," Geoff muttered, and even started jogging to the Hospital Wing. He bumped into people in the corridor who gave him odd looks. "I hear the voices...bacon...beware the bacon..."
When he'd finally disappeared, the marauders burst out laughter.
"Did you see his face?" Sirius laughed hard. "Well done, Prongs! That was hilarious! Geofff practically crapped his pants!" he again said in the direction of the wall again, thinking James and Lily were there.
"I'm over here, mate," James said, still laughing as he tugged Sirius round to face him.
Lily glared at Sirius' comment about Geoff under the cloak. Luckily Sirius couldn't see her; the sight of Lily's menacing eyes might of made Sirius literally crap his pants.
"I have to admit that was funny!" Remus chuckled. "I do admit, for a minute I was thinking you were being completely stupid and was wondering what on earth you were doing."
"Thanks mate! You have little faith in me!" James replied, but was still grinning.
"And bacon, Prongs, why bacon?" Peter chuckled but was also confused.
"I've got no idea. It was the first thing that came to my mind. Must be because I'm hungry...I quite fancy some bacon now actually!"
The marauders laughed heavily.
Boys, Lily thought in annoyance.
"Or maybe Geoff's face reminded me of a pig, which then linked to bacon-" James quickly halted after spotting Remus shaking his head, indicating to shut up. He didn't understand why until he remembered Lily was beside him and felt the pressure squeezing on his hand extremely tighter then before. In fact, his hand felt numb with pain.
"Alright, you've had your fun so can we please get to the great hall. Now," Lily spoke dangerously. It was more of an order then a suggestion. The boys looked worriedly in fear at each other before carrying on walking.
They continued walking in silence until reaching the entrance of the Great Hall and sighed with relief: the five of them were starving with hunger. The boys particularly longed for bacon at that moment.
"So, Potter, what's the plan again?" Lily asked, still annoyed with his antics at Geoff.
"Its simple. The guys go sit down at the table and we sit with them under the cloak. They make sure no one sits on us by saying that the places are saved. We ea, and then we leave. Easy."
"I hope you're right, Potter," Lily sounded somewhat nervous.
Meanwhile, Sirius held a quite sadistic smile.
Remus raised his eyebrows at him. He's definitely up to something, he thought. Sirius bent down and whispered in Remus' ear quietly, "They aren't getting away with breakfast that easily..."
"Padfoot, what are you-" but Remus had stopped talking to watch Sirius as he grabbed the startled Peter by the collar.
"Huh? What are you doing-" Peter began.
"Sorry Wormtail," Sirius apologized as he 'accidentally' pushed Peter. In tremendous strength, he threw him towards Lily and James under the invisibility cloak who had taken their first steps through the great hall. Peter screamed in surprise in quite an odd tone which sounded like a girl's. This made every head turn in the hall; professors and pupils.
James and Lily looked at each other, confused at the sound of wailing. They didn't have long to ponder over it.
Peter flew across the air, smacking into James and Lily. Lily made a shriek of shock and James cursed as they fell, sliding on the Great Hall floor. And -just to their luck- the invisibility cloak fell off them, revealing them to rest of the population of Hogwarts.