A/N: You could look this up in the timeline, but I thought I should mention it to you anyway - Elfwine is 20 here and Dariel is 19. Replies to reviewers at bottom. I'm glad most of you seem to be enjoying this story. I was afraid it might be too dark for some of you to want to read it.
Chapter 3
Elfwine had been vexed when he discovered Dariel had not left, and periodically put in appearance with his mother. He did not dare yell at her again in his mother's presence, so he settled for ignoring her as if she were not there.
He was even more upset when he found that not only was she not going to be driven away by his ill temper, but had even wangled an invitation to travel to Rohan with them. He argued at length to persuade his mother against her coming, but Lothiriel stood fast and he was forced to endure it.
At times like this, he truly wondered if his parents understood and cared about him as much as they said. If they did, he did not think they would inflict such additional torment on him. But even as he thought it, Elfwine knew they loved him. While he did not agree, he was certain they thought they were doing what was best for him.
As the group assembled for the trip to Rohan, it would almost have been comical watching the Riders try to mount with only one hand. Since they were allowed to use their forearm to assist them, it did not take long for the best Riders to find a way of quickly getting into the saddle, and once the others had seen how they did it they were able to follow suit.
Elfwine watched them with a dark expression. Despite everything, it touched him that they would do this, even though he knew they were likely instructed to do it by his father. He even overheard a few comment that it would be a useful skill to have if one arm were injured in battle.
Aragorn, Arwen and Eldarion had said their goodbyes to Dariel, and then turned their attention to the Rohan family. Wishing them well and safe journey, they stepped back. Eldarion was the last to bid farewell, and he reached out to grip Elfwine's shoulder. "Be strong, little brother," he said quietly. Elfwine nodded and turned quickly away before emotion overtook him.
With the ladies mounted, it left only Eomer and Elfwine and, having observed the men, they were able to get into the saddle fairly quickly. Elfwine was actually rather surprised at how easily it could be accomplished once you had thought it through.
Giving a final wave of farewell, Eomer signalled the group on its way and they started out. To avoid having to talk to Dariel, Elfwine positioned himself with his parents between them, and rode in sullen silence. He still could not figure out why she had wanted to accompany them, especially in light of his being opposed to it. Hopefully she would give up within a week and go home. He forced deep down inside the tiny part of him that desperately wanted her with him.
xxxxx
Travel was fairly uneventful and they went at a slower pace to accommodate Dariel, as well as Elfwine who had done nothing strenuous for a good two weeks.
Elfwine's mood never improved, swinging between tolerable and dismal, and it was wearing on everyone's nerves. But Lothiriel and Eomer had decided not to push him too much on that just yet. There were enough things he needed to be doing right now that they set aside that battle for another time.
The fourth night out, they were camped on the Rohan side of the Dimholt. Elfwine shared a tent with his parents, while Dariel was given a smaller one next to it.
At first Lothiriel was not sure what had awakened her, but then she felt her husband's arm tighten around her. Close to her ear, he said softly, "It is Elfwine."
Then she heard the sobs her son was trying to choke back and hide beneath his covers so they would not hear. Quickly she rose, and moved to Elfwine's bedding. Wordlessly, her hand caressed his head and, at her touch, he sat up and wrapped his arms around her. He continued to weep into her shoulder for some time and she merely sat rubbing his back and waiting for it to subside. Finally, in embarrassment, he pulled away, wiping at his eyes and nose. Catching his chin with her hand she told him softly, "Try to sleep now, dearest."
He nodded and settled back under the covers, and she waited until his breathing slowed and he began to drift off. Then she rose, grabbed her cloak and exited the tent into the night air. She stood staring at the stars when a soft voice to her left queried, "Is he all right?"
She turned to see Dariel there, also wrapped in her cloak, and motioned the girl away from the tent. They walked a short distance and then Lothiriel answered, "He sleeps, but it will be quite a while before I would say he is all right. More than his body was wounded in this, and it may take some time for it to heal."
Dariel blinked several times and dabbed at her eyes, so Lothiriel put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. That gentle gesture broke down Dariel's reserve and she began to cry in earnest. At length she whispered, "It is as if the Valar set their will against us. Every time we get close to one another something happens to tear us apart." Lothiriel did not miss the bitter tone in her voice.
"None of us can choose the challenges we will face in our lives, Dariel. We simply must deal with what we are given. The only real choice we have is in how we meet our difficulties. Many are defeated by them, and many rise mightily above them. Even if the difficulty happens to someone else whom we care about, we still must decide how we will act or react to it."
Dariel had raised her head and was listening intently, so Lothiriel continued, "Right now, Elfwine cannot see past the difficulties. All the problems he can envision are overwhelming him, and blinding him to hope. All we can do is love him, and help him, and try to understand that his anger is not truly directed at us so much as the circumstances. We can only choose to be unmoved by the anger, and refuse to abandon him in his misery. In time he will see more than the pain and despair, and he will see those who stood steadfastly by his side during his trials."
Dariel looked away for a long moment, then turned back and confessed, "I have never told anyone this, Queen Lothiriel, but I love him. I had hoped that one day we would marry, and I thought he felt the same way and wanted the same thing. Now I am not so sure."
"Not sure about his feelings for you, or your feelings for him?" Lothiriel questioned.
Dariel seemed startled by it. "His feelings for me! None of my feelings for him have altered."
Lothiriel smiled. "I was not trying to offend you, dear." She raised a hand to stroke the girl's head. "I am pleased to hear that your feelings are so strong. But it will be a rough road to travel. All you can do is let him know you love him – let him know repeatedly. Eventually, he will hear you."
Dariel looked at her closely in the moonlight, then ventured, "Do you...do you think he feels the same?"
Lothiriel sighed. "I will not pretend to know the depths of his feelings for you. I do know he cares very much for you and has displayed no such keen interest in any other girl. But whether it would have led to marriage, had he not been injured, I do not know. At the moment, I believe his thoughts are too confused and focused on his loss for him to really consider anything or anyone else. But if he did love you before, and you stand by him through this, I believe he will one day remember that love and return to you."
xxxxx
Eomer had sent word on ahead to Eowyn about their arrival and instructed her to tell the children about Elfwine's injury, so they would be prepared. His sister kept the children inside when she learned they had entered the city, and Elfwine's siblings were waiting in the Golden Hall when the family put in appearance with Dariel. Elfwine came to a halt several feet away and eyed them warily. After only a moment's hesitation, Theodwyn, who was much like her aunt Eowyn, ran forward and flung herself into Elfwine's arms, hugging him as tightly as she could. The two had always been close, perhaps encouraged by their father's memories of his relationship with his own sister. "I am so glad you are all right!" she exclaimed. "I was terrified when Aunt Eowyn said you were hurt."
He stroked her head and planted a kiss on top. "You do not think you could get rid of me that easily, do you?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood, but his words didn't ring true in her ears.
She looked up into his eyes and saw the pain there, then hugged him all the tighter. She wasn't good with words and it was all she could think of to do to let him know she would stand by him.
Slowly the other children came forward as well and welcomed him back. Hesitantly, Theomund, ever curious, asked, "Elfwine...can I...see it?" The youngest, Morwen, wrinkled her nose and looked away.
Lothiriel stepped in. "You will have to wait until the bandages come off to see his arm. But then I think you should all see it and touch it. It is nothing to shrink from, and Elfwine is still the same person we have always loved."
The children nodded solemnly at her, Theodwyn most emphatically.
"And anyone who makes fun of Elfwine will have to answer to me!" she declared. "Aunt Eowyn has been working with me on my sparring and says I am much improved!"
Eowyn blushed, though she did not appear particularly displeased with her niece's display of devotion and protectiveness. Had it been Eomer so injured, she would have said the same thing.
Elfwine wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her along. "You will defend me, but will you feed me, sister? I am starved!"
Theodwyn poked him good-naturedly in the ribs. "Perhaps! But just remember that a shieldmaiden has better things to do than feed the likes of you!"
Some of Lothiriel's tension eased at the sight of her two eldest bantering together. Theodwyn would not allow anything to be different and that would help Elfwine to adjust. Suddenly, Lothiriel remembered Dariel, who had been standing quietly behind them during the reunion. "Theomund, would you escort Dariel to her room so she can freshen herself for supper, and then bring her back here when she is ready?"
Theomund straightened and offered his arm to Dariel, then led her from the hall. As they neared the room she would be using, the same one she invariably was given when she visited since Elfwine had made them leave her ribbon tied to the horse head over the door, she could not help but smile. The ribbon was such an insignificant little thing but it always warmed her heart to see it, and reminded her of that first visit to Rohan when she and Elfwine had begun to like one another.
Theomund left her at her door and said he would return in ten minutes, so she moved inside to wash away the dust from the trip and brush out her hair. As she laid down the hairbrush, she stared at her right hand. There was so much she did automatically with it, that she had perpetually just taken it for granted. What would it be like to suddenly lose that, to struggle to accomplish ordinary tasks because five fingers were no longer helping?
Hastily she shook herself mentally, and pushed away her thoughts. If she continued on that track, she would end up weeping and now was not the time for more tears.
Supper was a subdued affair. The children were not entirely sure how to relate to their brother, so they were quieter than usual. Only Theodwyn kept up a steady conversation, telling her family about all that had been happening in Edoras in their absence. Elfwine listened to his sister with a slight smile on his face, and it struck Lothiriel that Theodwyn might be able to do more than anyone else in helping him get back to normal. She had already shrugged off his injury, and from her perspective nothing was changed. Hopefully she would be able to help him believe that as well.
Replies to reviewers:
shie1dmaidenofrohan - yes, he lost the hand entirely. Could he ride with just his legs to control the horse and use a sword? Possibly. It partly depends on the horse, but we know the Mearas are special - Gandalf didn't use a bridle or saddle with Shadowfax. And the Rohirrim are consummate horsemen, so my guess would be that he could. As for snapping at Dariel, well, this isn't an easy thing to adjust to, so it won't happen in an instant.
thayzel, CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur - I'm delighted you are finding the characters believable and their actions/reactions life-like. I try really hard to imagine what things would be like and keep these things "true"; so much so, that sometimes while I was writing this story I was crying too!
Julia - Thanks for the treatise on marrying cousins! Several people have commented in the past that they thought the kids of the folks marrying in the trilogy probably inter-married with each other, but the parents themselves inter-married. I was curious what their marital options actually were! And they are pretty slim (except for Aragorn's kids who have an open field)! I was pretty sure that marrying cousins was both accepted and frequently done in the Middle Ages (which you confirmed since I was too lazy to research it), but I wasn't sure about ME. At least I wasn't sure until you posted what you did and then I realized I had read that before and did know it.
daw the minstrel, Elwen of Lorien, utsuri - the norm in ME would be a battle-inflicted injury, and the heroes never seem to have lasting injuries of any kind (Boromir being the exception), but in real life that is usually not the case. So I wanted to explore how someone would fare in ME with a serious injury. It would of course be different for the peasants or middle class than for royalty, so each of those groups would deal with it differently. But in all cases, I think the family and friends might be key to helping the person live a successful life anyway. I knew it might be a bit shocking (and unpopular) for it to happen to Elfwine, but he and his family are the only ones I've written enough about to have a feel for how each person would react.
Blue Eyes At Night - "he was fooling around with rope" - oh come on! Give him a little credit! He was just doing his normal tasks, not "fooling around"! It could have happened to anyone. But, yes, it is the stupid stuff that kills you. You miraculously come through things that should have done you in and then choke on a piece of food and die. And that was sort of my point here. Elfwine has ridden off to battle with his father, but instead of being hurt in combat, he gets maimed in a freak accident that could happen anywhere to anyone. As for the Elvish, I found lots of bits and pieces and several different "words" but not the exact phrase used as I wanted to use it. Iell nin was among the possibilities I would have considered if I did it without help, but when I found a website where the person seemed to have studied Elvish in depth and took great pains to "get it right", I decided to ask for help rather than wing it and hope I got close!
Amon Aredhel - okey dokey! Let me know if I mess up on anything. If I can easily fix it, I will. I've never dealt with anyone suddenly dealing without having a hand, so I had to imagine what it would be like. I thought it would be helpful for Eomer to do that to help him - glad that rang true! What does "have their right arms in pot" mean? In casts?
Jazzcat - well, you know there will be some humor in my stories, no matter how dark they are! Humor helps get us through the dark and difficult times of our lives