Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 11: Emergency trip

Lily's clothes had finally been changed –thanks to Anna— although Anna was having fun watching Sirius paint his face with strawberry jam. The group had managed to stop James from causing permanent brain damage (I thought he already had it, Lily thought wittily) by repeatedly slamming his head on one of the breakfast tables of the Great Hall. It had been extremely hard though, and Lily swore she could see the bump she had made on his head become larger because of the repetitive banging. She didn't feel much pity for him considering he had put her in a thong.

"I don't wanna go!" James moaned like a toddler. Sirius dragged him by the arm as they made their way out of the castle and into the Hogwarts grounds. Lily was getting thoroughly annoyed; James kept tugging in the other direction. He did not at all want to go the meeting which was a Kill-James-Potter engagement in disguise.

"Prongs, you might as well tell him now that you can't play. He obviously doesn't know about you and Evans, the angel from the heaven—"

"I thought I told you not to call me that," Lily said tiredly.

Sirius continued, "Besides, there's no point hiding; he'll hunt you down and kick your arse anyway."

James couldn't help but feel that Sirius was looking forward to watching him get mauled by the quidditch captain. Nonetheless, James sighed; Sirius did have a point.

"Hey, where'd Anna go?" Sirius asked, looking around disappointedly. "Oh, and Peter," he added.

"I think Anna is trying to stay away from you considering she gets wet every time she's in your company," Lily told him. Sirius raised his eyes curiously, getting the wrong idea. "Oh, Sirius, you're such a sicko!" she said in disgust. He chuckled, putting his hands up in defence.

"Peter decided not to come," Remus mentioned, trying to stir the conversation away from whatever was on Sirius' mind at the moment.

"Why?"

"Because Jonathan scares the crap out of him," Remus explained. Lily nodded in understanding; there wasn't much Peter was afraid of.

After a few minutes of walking, the view of the lake was in sight. From the distance, they saw Jonathan and the players of the rest of the Gryffindor quidditch team were standing moodily beside him. They also looked a little disturbed and exchanged wary looks with each other. Jonathan's back was facing them, and he turned around, spotting the group. He did not look too pleased, maybe at the fact that they were a little late, which was partly James' fault as his head beating wasted valuable time.

"Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?" Remus muttered to Lily. She nodded in agreement as she eyed Jonathan from afar. The captain suddenly started making hand gestures.

"What the hell is he doing?" Sirius asked, watching the seventh year. The others didn't reply and kept their gaze fixed on Jonathan's wild hands.

Jonathan pointed to them and stuck his hand out straight, then speedily lowered it down, indicating for the fifth years to do what he thought he was simply signing; well, simply in his mind.

"Um...what's that supposed to mean?" James frowned. His hand gestures had not been clear enough to him. Luckily Remus was there.

"I think he wants us to duck down," Remus concluded. The three looked at Remus blankly, and then turned back to Jonathan who was still lowering his hand in front of him forcefully.

Lily asked the question they all were wondering in their minds: "Why?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders; he didn't know the answers to everything, just most things. The four of them looked at each other, nonplussed, then slowly ducked by lowering their knees. They figured this would be enough for Jonathan, so carried on walking towards him. However, he made them halt to a stop when he held up the palm of his hand.

"Now what?" James muttered. The captain seemed to be miming something. "What's he saying?" The group instinctively looked at Remus for the answer.

Remus sighed in annoyance. "I think he's saying 'lower'," he concluded again. The three looked at him blankly, and then turned back to Jonathan who was cupping his hands round his mouth, indeed mouthing the words 'lower!'

"Why?" Lily asked again.

"I think he's a little bit paranoid. He doesn't want any Slytherins seeing us having a meeting in case they eavesdrop or something," Sirius said.

Lily looked at him indecorously. "But there's nobody outside!" she pointed out.

At the mention of her words, the group looked around the Hogwarts grounds. It did seem unbelievably quiet because the weather wasn't exactly blissfully sunny, more darkening with sulky clouds. Everybody had gone seeking comfort in their common rooms. Lily swore she could see tumbleweed fly past like in the muggle cowboy films.

They turned their attention back to Jonathan who was still miming with much energy.

"Fine..." Lily gave in tiredly. She bent her legs lower as she crouched more and the boys did the same.

They uncomfortably started moving again. It was a little difficult to move whilst your legs were unusually bent. James and Remus started laughing at the sight of Sirius who had crooked his legs, his backside sticking out extremely which made him oddly look like a chicken, while he held out his arms trying to keep balance. Once they had recovered, they looked at Jonathan who was still not satisfied.

"Lower!" he mimed for the second time. They groaned in sync.

"What does he mean 'lower'! I'll kick him in the 'lower' area," Lily said threatened fiercely.

"Lets just do what he says, at least then he won't hurt me as much." James fully bent his legs so his backside was nearly touching the ground. Lily stumbled as he did.

"Give me warning before you do that," she said, looking down at him. She was not going to make anymore of a fool of herself by doing anymore demented walking.

"C'mon, please?" James pleaded looking up her to. "Please, Lily flower?" He tried to keep straight face.

"I thought I told you not to call me that!" she snapped. It seemed as if the Marauders were determined to call her ridiculous nicknames from now on.

Lily looked to see James making puppy dog eyes with his bottom lip sticking out, and also to Remus and Sirius who had also bent down to James' height, also going for the same 'puppy dog eyes technique'.

Why do Sirius' puppy dog eyes seem so natural to him? Lily wondered, Probably because he's a player...

"Stop looking so pathetic!" She gave in and crouched down, fully bending her knees as the boys had done.

God knows how odd this will look if someone looks out the window and sees us, Lily thought despairingly.

The four struggled on, trying to remain balanced as they walked strangely similarly to frogs. James and Lily kept bumping into each other and vash heads; it somehow seemed harder for them with their hands stuck together. They halted when Jonathan was still not reassured.

"Lower!" He mimed again. The four of them sighed as they obeyed the command. They moved into the 'lower' status and were now so low to the ground that they were literally on it. They were in 'sniper' position, their stomachs resting on the grass, legs stretched and elbows out.

Out of all the clothes Anna had to put me in, she chose white jeans. Damn that crazy quidditch captain and Anna's tasteful fashion sense, Lily thought bitterly.

"If I'd known there was going to be some kind of army training, I wouldn't have bothered to tag along," Remus informed the others.

They used their elbows and legs to move themselves forwards. After many mutterings and cursing by the fifth years, they gradually reached the awaiting Jonathan with his hand on his hips. They slowly stood up, brushing themselves off, each looking slightly dusty and dirty from the grounds filth. Lily looked the worse. She huffed as she looked down at her knew 'dusty brown' and grass stained jeans. The fifth years looked at the captain for an explanation for their strange way of travelling.

"I'm just taking precautions," Jonathan said. James looked to see the remaining team players behind him. They were waving and giving him and Sirius looks of pity. One guy named Rhys, who was a chaser alongside James, was pointing to Jonathan behind his back then swirling a finger in circles pointing to his head.

"What precautions, Jonathan?" said Jade tiredly, the seventh year girl and third chaser for the team.

"I'm talking, Dawkins," he rebuked.

Jade looked at him, gaping. She was Jonathan's girlfriend –whom was hard to believe— and it was also hard for Jade to believe what he'd just said to her. He took his captain position seriously; sometimes too seriously. She was not at all happy by his words.

"I'm your GIRLFRIEND!" Everyone flinched at her shouting. "I do have a first name, unless you've forgotten, Captain ARSE!"

"Love, I'm trying to be professional!"

Jade glowered fully. "Oh you are so not sleeping with me tonight," she informed him, folding her arms. The boys sniggered until Jonathan glared at them and they abruptly stopped.

"Um, hel-lo? Has everyone forgotten we're here?" Sirius asked, as he was not a person who liked to be ignored. James looked at him furiously; he was hoping that the captain's distraction by his girlfriend would give him some time to secretly walk back to the castle and hide. That plan was buggered now.

"Oh, yes, Potter and Black. Were you followed?" Jonathan asked them, and then glanced around in all directions looking for the culprit to suddenly jump out of a nearby bush.

This guy has got serious issues, Lily thought to herself.

"What?"

"Were you followed?"

"Umm, I don't think so. Why would we be?" James questioned, but he somehow already knew what the captain's answer would be. The captain looked to his left and right suspiciously before he was happy with answering them.

"The spies..." Jonathan whispered. There were some chuckles and rolling of eyes coming from the players.

"The spies?" Lily repeated. Jonathan looked at her as if he'd only just spotted her, and if she were completely dumb for asking the question.

"The Slytherin spies!" he whispered again. Lily gave him a strange look.

"I'm certain we weren't followed, Jonathan," James said tiredly, hoping he wouldn't explain to Lily his whole theory on the 'Slytherins conspiracy'.

"Good. Now we can get started. I just wanted to tell you the times of quidditch practice later today," the captain explained. His eyes then landed on Lily again, and then Remus. He then realised they were not supposed to be there.

"Lupin, and…red head?"

Lily was affronted; she considered Jonathan to be rude and impolite and she looked to his girlfriend who was giving her an apologetic look.

"No tag-alongs for the meeting!"

"They're not spies, Jonathan."

"How do I know?" he answered suspiciously, and startled Remus and Lily by facing them inches away from their faces with a dubious stare. They both coughed as he breathed in their faces.

He needs to take a breath mint, Lily thought.

"They're Gryffindors!" James reminded him. Jonathan still looked apprehensive. A few of the players were looking at James with sympathy; they knew about his and Lily's hand situation. Obviously their quidditch captain had not been informed. He was not going to be happy to hear one of his best players would not be able to play.

"Look, Jonny, can I call you Jonny?" James asked.

"No."

"As I saw saying, Jonathan," James began nervously, "the reason why Lily is here, is because of our hands."

They both held their hands up; they'd lost count at how many times they'd displayed them. Jonathan frowned in return.

"Like I said Potter, no tag-alongs means no girlfriends at the meetings."

Lily glared.

"Look, Jonathan, their hands are stuck by a spell! Stop being a overbearing prat and actually listen to them!" Jade said.

Jonathan was about to tell her off for speaking to him like that, but then backtracked to what she'd just said. "What?"

James laughed nervously. "Our hands are stuck and we can't find the cure," he said quickly, hoping to say it sooner rather then later before he'd lost his nerve.

"What!" he shouted this time. Everyone flinched.

"I won't be able to play in the quidditch match tomorrow," James finally added, cowering.

"WHAT!" He screamed; it even seemed to echo, well, at least in the players' ears.

Sirius stuck a finger in his ear at his sudden voice. He swore he'd turned deaf which was especially strange at his young age. The players started to back away and his anger was steaming off him. Jade stood by his side whilst looking at him with worry. She seemed to be tugging on his arm, trying to calm him down, whilst he was busy staring ahead; his eyes bulging.

"You have five seconds to run," he said menacingly.

Remus and Lily exchanged anxious looks.

"Five..."

"Jonathan, why do you look so red?" Sirius asked, noticing his face looking like it was about to erupt like a volcano. James was elbowing him in the stomach to shut up.

"Four..."

"Jonathan, why is that vein on your head throbbing and looking extremely larger then usual?" Sirius questioned, eying the vein. He was curious at its size. It was big enough that it might have been able to answer the question itself. James elbowed Sirius again.

"Three..."

"Jonathan, why are you grinding your teeth like that?" Sirius asked his third question. His teeth which were grinding with so much anger that he swore he could see white, crushed pieces fall out of his mouth. He also wondered if it was possible to completely grind them down in five seconds. James was practically pounding him in the stomach.

"Two..."

"Padfoot, start running, now!" James commanded him, as he dragged his arm away from the crazy captain. Lily was also helping; she feared her safety in the foul breath of Jonathan. Remus was slowly backing away.

"Hey? Why do I need to run? He's not going to kick my arse!" Sirius argued.

"No, but I will, if you don't run right now."

"Okey-dokey, ta-ta lovelies!" Sirius said, not at all affected by the threat, and waved to the girls of the quidditch team. They smiled and rolled their eyes in response.

"ONE!"

------------

The group had been running manically through the many corridors of Hogwarts. James was trying to find any hiding place to get way from the mental quidditch captain. They had tried to hide in one of the empty classrooms, however, Peeves the oh-so-annoying poltergeist had slightly given them away. Maybe it was the part of Peeves' shouting when he said "POTTY POTTER! JAMES POTTER IS IN THIS EMPTY CLASSROOM!" that had blown their cover. Or maybe it had been James' furious shouting back at Peeves saying "If you weren't already bloody dead, I'd kill you Peeves! Can ghosts suffer pain? Cos' I sure want to cause a hell of a lot of it to you!"

They were now in an empty corridor, all on edge that some lunatic could suddenly come round the corridor and pounce on them; specifically that lunatic called Jonathan.

"Can we stop now? I've got a stitch," Sirius complained, holding on to his stomach. The others were too out of breath to answer as they puffed for breath.

"I feel like I've run the bloody marathon," Lily said. She wasn't as fit as the quidditch players, although they were struggling to breathe the same as her.

"I don't fancy running Hogwarts all day, no matter how great it would to be in your company, Lily," Sirius said dryly.

Lily was still annoyed about her stained and ruined white jeans and had been complaining about them non-stop. "These were my nice jeans! And they are grass stained and muddy! Do you know how much these cost? They are designer! I saved up for practically a month and—"

Lily was interrupted when Remus swished his wand, muttering a cleaning spell which instantly made the grass stains and filth vanish from her trousers. She admired their cleanliness and was instantly happier.

"Thank you!" Lily said gratefully.

"Could have done it bloody twenty minutes ago when she was still moaning about them," James muttered in annoyance. Meanwhile, Remus was thinking of a plan, something the others seemed to be bad at – even Lily.

"I've got a plan to get away from Jonathan," Remus announced, grinning. "An emergency trip to Hogsmeade."

Sirius brightened and James nodding, smiling.

"You're a genius, Moony!" Sirius cheered, clapping him on the back. Remus simply nodded back in agreement.

Lily was confused, "Hogsmeade? How the hell are we going to get to Hogsmeade? There's no trip today, remember?"

The boys shook their heads at her in disappointment.

"Lily, you really don't know us well at all, do you?"

"Well, yeah I don't know you well at all," Lily replied in agreement. Sirius looked at her blankly, trying to remember what exactly the point he was trying to make.

"What Sirius is trying to say, is that there is always a Hogsmeade trip available to the marauders!" James said.

"But—"

"Talk later, Lily. I think I can hear Jonathan coming," James heard footsteps. They could distinctly hear from a distance the sound of an individual's cursing and what must have been Peeves singing of "Jonathan is a loony, there's more that can be said, tell it to his face or the vein popping out if his head!"

"Common room," the marauders said in unison, running in the direction of their destination.

There is never a quiet moment with the marauders, a confused Lily thought, pulled along in their running.

------------

They speedily made it to the Gryffindor common room. Sirius, somehow with his charming good looks, made the portrait of the Fat lady promise to tell Jonathan if he appeared at the entrance that they were hiding in the 'Astronomy tower'.

"I cannot believe even the portraits are attracted to you," Lily said, disturbed at his flirting. Sirius looked at her with affront.

"Of course they are!" She rolled her eyes in response. Remus looked around and saw that the common room was pretty much occupied. Students were sitting on the chairs, chatting and talking, not the ideal place to explain to Lily about the Marauders map.

"Uh, guys, I think we'll have to go up to dormitory for some privacy," Remus told them, as curious eyes were directed at them. The two boys looked around whilst the bewildered Lily watched them.

"Yeah, I think you're right," James agreed.

"What? I'm not going up there!"

"Lily," James sighed. "Please do not make this out to be like the whole 'toilet incident' and go on about all the crap about it being a 'mystery' again."

"A mystery?" Sirius echoed. "It's a dormitory which has beds which people sleep in. What's there to know?" James threw up his hands in understanding.

"Alright, I'll go!" Lily told them, feeling foolish. Gingerly, she followed the boys up the staircase.

"It's so unfair that girls are allowed up but guys can't go in the girls' dorms," Sirius complained, climbing the steps.

"Because girls don't have dirty minds like you," Lily said. Sirius pondered this and slowly nodded in agreement. They finally got to the door of the 'Marauder Dorm.'

"You carved it on the door!" Lily said indignantly.

"Yeah," the three replied together.

"Remus, you're supposed to be a prefect!"

The boys laughed merrily at her.

"What can I say? They have a bad influence on me," Remus shrugged, pushing open the door revealing the room that so many girls wished to enter.

"Oh Merlin."

Lily gasped as she saw the mess and destruction around her. There were clothes everywhere. Piles on the beds and crumpled on the floor, even though there were wardrobes and chests of drawers to put them in. Random prank objects were lying on the floor; she recognised what looked like to be stink pellets, dungbombs and nose-biting teacups. There were also books laid across the room. This thoroughly surprised Lily; she never knew they could read.

I bet they all belong to Remus, Lily told herself. She looked closer to one of the open books and saw that it was about quidditch. She rolled her eyes. The boys chuckled at her reaction.

"Yeah, we haven't cleaned for a while," James stated.

Lily snorted. "I didn't notice."

"Since when did we ever clean?" Remus asked.

"Once in third year," Sirius remembered. "But that wasn't us; we made a first year do it."

Lily gasped. "You bullied a first year to clean your room!"

"Hey, calm down. We paid the midget."

She ignored James' naming for a first year. She had to admit that they all seemed to be unnaturally small.

"How much did you pay them?"

"A knut or two, I think."

"Cheapskates," Lily muttered.

She shrieked when a pile of clothes on one of the four beds suddenly started moving and groaning. The boys looked hesitant. They slowly walked over to the pile, chucking the clothes from the pile on the floor with the rest. Finally they discovered a head belonging to Peter.

"Wormtail! I thought it was you." Sirius pulled Peter out of the mound of clothing.

"Hey guys," Peter yawned as he stumbled off the bed. "Just having a nap, what's going on?"

"We were about to tell Lily about an emergency trip to Hogsmeade, and also the map," Remus explained.

"What map?" Lily asked, annoyed that she still hadn't been told anything.

James opened his chest beside his bed. He brushed a few clothes that had been displayed on top of it, including a pair of Christmas boxers decorated with reindeers belonging to Sirius. Lily sniggered. He reddened, grabbed the boxers and threw them across the room and out of sight, where they landed on top of a nearby lamp. James dove into the chest until he found the invisibility cloak and Marauders map. Lily looked disgruntled at the sight of the cloak; she didn't like it, or being under it.

"This map," James showed it to her with smug features. The Marauders beamed majestically. She eyed the parchment with narrowed eyes.

"That's just a bit of parchment—"

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," James tapped the map with his wand. Lily looked at him with confusion. Her eyes slowly moved to the parchment which had opened up and ink started to build up the map. She gasped in surprise. James grinned. She put her hands over the map and traced her fingers over the many rooms and wandering people.

"This is Hogwarts!" she said in awe. It was so beautifully designed.

They can't have made this! Lily thought. Normally anything they touch gets messed up, just like their dorm.

"This little gem will get us to Hogsmeade," Sirius said. "We know a secret passage way to get there that ends up in Honeydukes cellar. We might as well go now, considering James in on Jonathan's 'Most Wanted List'."

"You sneaky gits," Lily shook her head, "I can't believe the stuff you've got. An invisibilty cloak, a map of the school! What next? A private undercover quidditch pitch?"

"I wish," James and Sirius said, breathlessly in unison.

"I think only four of us will be able to fit under the cloak," Remus tried to drift the conversation away from quidditch. James and Sirius' passion for it could make them speak about it all day. They looked at him with vague expressions. "So, one of us will have to stay behind," Remus added. Distinctively everyone's head turned to look at Peter.

Peter sulked, "Why me? Why not Lily?"

"Because her hand is stuck to Prongs', stupid," Sirius reminded him.

"You're being a gentleman, Wormtail," Remus said.

"What about you, Sirius? Don't you have quidditch practice most of today?" Peter brought up.

"Nah, I'm not in Jonathan's good books at the moment." Sirius remembered the annoyed look on his face when he asked about the features of his face. "He won't miss me. Besides, don't you have homework to do or something?"

"Not really—"

"Well, you can do mine then!"

Sirius picked up a stack of books and parchment from his bed and dumped it in Peter's hands.

"Hey! But—"

"Bye, Wormtail," the boys replied together as they left the dormitory. Lily shrugged her shoulders to him apologetically as she exited.

-------

The three excited boys and a wary Lily were walking in the third floor corridor on their way to the statue leading to the passage. Lily was still in shock at the fact that they had so many secret objects; it was very unnerving. A few students were passing the corridors; unfortunately, they'd bumped into the surly Severus Snape around the corner.

"Ughh! Snivellus germs!" Sirius said immediately at the fact that Snape had bumped into him in such a rude fashion, and also at the fact that he'd bumped into him at all. He quickly rubbed his arms and clothes, horrified that he'd caught some disease.

"Watch where you're going, Black," Snape barked.

James quickly hid the cloak and swiftly slid the map into his pocket, noticing Snape's wandering eyes. "Oi, Snivellus, what exactly are you looking at? Are you queer or something?" Snape growled viciously at him. "I'll take that as a yes," he teased.

Snape looked at the four of them suspiciously. "What are you up to, Potter?"

"None of your business, Snivellus," Sirius answered for him. Snape eyed him icily and then turned back to James, and then Lily, noticing they were still together.

"I take it you haven't found a cure for your hands." Lily glared at him. "What a shame."

Sirius suddenly had a great idea. Standing in front of Snape, he started waving to somebody behind him. James, Lily and Remus looked at him curiously; there was nobody behind Snape, he was really waving to thin air.

"Hello Professor McGonagall!" Sirius said, hoping Snape would fall for the trick and turn around to the invisible woman he was waving too. To Sirius' delight, he did. The paranoid Snape turned around, his back facing the four of them. Quickly, Sirius grabbed the cloak from James hands and speedily threw the cloak over the four of them whilst Snape's back was turned, perfectly in time.

"Black, there's nobody—" Snape started to say in irritation. He turned around, thinking he would face Sirius, and frowned when he hadn't. He looked left and right in bewilderment; they had completely disappeared from his sight. The four silently chuckled under the cloak at Snape's confused face. As he was looking around, the invisible four started walking behind him so they were facing his back.

"Black? Potter? Lupin?" he spat their names. "Where did you go? Mudblood?" he added.

Angrilly, James pushed Snape from behind at his sickening word he'd called Lily. Snape landed painfully on his front, puzzled and perplexed. The group hiding under the cloak couldn't help but snigger. Lily smiled gratefully at James who had pushed Snape after what he'd called her. He smiled shyly back. Sirius and Remus noticed their smiling and grinned to each other.

"Who did that?" Snape shouted, lying on the floor. Sirius smirked; he couldn't let James have all the fun.

"Incendio," Sirius whispered, whilst pointing his wand at Snape.

A fire had suddenly erupted from Snape; in particular, on his trousers. You want more elaboration? Fine: on his arse. You could now hear the sound of the fifth years' breaths of hysterical laughter as they uncontrollably stumbled under the cloak, clutching their stomachs in amusement. Snape looked around, wondering where the noises were coming from. He didn't seem to realise that he was on fire until he started sniffing the air and realised that he could smell smoke, coming from him. He stood up and started shrieking. In a berserk state, he ran down the corridor in realisation that his butt was on fire.

-------------

Meanwhile, Anna had been on her way to the common room, hoping to catch up with Lily if she saw her and do some gossiping when she hastily stopped, hearing a scream that seemed to be getting louder and nearer. She whipped round and spotted a blur of black go past her. She quickly realised that the blur was a person – that person being the hideous Snape. He seemed to be running like the wind, shrieking madly with his arms wailing. As he ran down the corridor, she spotted light, then realised that Snape's backside was on fire.

"Okay..." Anna said to herself, slightly freaked out but amused at the same time.

First I see Lily looking like a hooker, then her and the boys outside near the lake walking like frogs, and now I see Snape with his arse on fire. Hmm. Interesting day, Anna thought to herself, shrugging, and carrying on walking down the corridor.

-------------

The four were in a more of a cheerful mood after what happened to Snape. Lily was beginning to think the start of the day would be a bad one; however, the sight of Snape crying like a girl as his butt was lit up had been hilarious and brightened up her day. The four carried on walking along the third floor corridor until they reached the hunchbacked, one-eyed witch.

"Damn, she's ugly," Sirius commentated. They rolled their eyes at him; he judged everybody by their appearance at first sight. James checked the map to see if anyone was coming along the corridor.

"Okay, coast is clear," he assured.

"Dissendium!" Remus enchanted. Lily watched in surprise as the statue's hump suddenly opened up.

"Thank God you're not obese, Lily," James said, eying the size of the gap.

"I'm flattered...I think," she replied uncertainly. One by one –and with much difficult for James and Lily in particular—they hoisted themselves into the hole headfirst, pushing forward.

Lily screamed as she felt herself slide down a stone slide, and then landing on cold and damp earth. She hated cold damp earth. She thanked James who went through the hole first because she'd half landed on him and cushioned her comfort. At least, she hoped it was James, for once, not some creature in the gloom. She looked around the darkness; it was pitch black and daunting. The sound of James' hurting moans actually comforted Lily in the darkness.

"Oow..." James groaned painfully.

"Can we have some light, please?" Lily asked, helpless without her wand. Her question was answered by Remus who muttered "Lumos!" and light was suddenly restored. Lily snorted when she spotted Sirius who had landed on top of Remus at their end of their slide ride.

"Get your arse out of my face, Padfoot." Remus turned his face away from Sirius' buttocks that were excruciatingly close to his face. Sirius apologised and swiftly got up, brushing himself off whilst Remus did the same.

"I knew we should've gone the other way," Sirius said, regretting taking this route and referring to the Whomping Willow's passage to Hogsmeade.

"There's another way?" Lily snapped, annoyed by the new information. She would have preferred to take the any other passage than this one.

"That's for us to know, and you not to find out," Sirius replied simply.

Remus eyed James and Lily who were still on the ground. "Are you two going to get up anytime soon?" They immediately started blushing as they got up and took a sudden interest in smooth their clothes which were not wrinkled in any way.

"I saw you two this morning, ya know. Very cosy indeed," Sirius commented. They reddened at remembering their positions they'd awoken to in the common room.

"You mean...you guys didn't put us like that?" James asked.

"Nope."

James and Lily exchanged a worried and embarrassed look. Remus noticed and decided to save them by changing the subject. "Maybe we should get going."

James mentally thanked him. Lily looked around her surroundings and noticed they were in an extremely narrow and rough passageway.

"Wow, this place is kind of claustrophobic," Lily mentioned, eyeing the cramped corridor.

"You're not claustrophobic, are you?" James asked.

"If I was, would we turn back?"

"Nope."

"Then I guess I'm not," Lily said truthfully. Remus started walking so the others obediently followed.

"I seriously hope you don't let one off, Padfoot," James warned him.

Sirius cringed and replied, "Oops..."

------------------

They'd carried on walking in a file through the passage as it twisted and turned, eventually beginning to rise. James, Lily and Remus groaned when Sirius started humming. After he decided to 'let one off' without the other's consent, he thought he'd amuse himself in the silence of walking through the passage by humming tunes. Lily noticed that James started quickening his pace as Sirius' humming got louder.

"How much further?" Lily moaned, trying to get her voice heard over Sirius' cheery humming.

"We're nearly there," Remus informed, holding his wand and glancing at the map. "Padfoot, what tune exactly are you humming?"

"Duh, the Wedding March!" Sirius said, making a scoff at his ignorance.

Lily frowned at him. "It sounds more like the funeral march to me."

Sirius looked at her blankly, then repeated the tune out loud, realising she was right.

She smiled smugly then asked a curious question. "Why exactly were you trying to hum the wedding march?"

"Because, you and James—"

"Actually, don't answer that," Lily interrupted him, noticing the start of the sentence and predicting how it would end. They kept on walking until Sirius unexpectedly stopped humming and yelped.

"Okay, who touched my butt?"

"What?" the others said unison, turning around to look at him.

James was surprised at his reaction; normally Sirius was thrilled at bottom feeling as it happened enough at school. Maybe it was the fact that they were in a dark passageway with only their wands for light.

"Something touched me!" Sirius accused.

"Definitely not me," Lily replied. The mere idea of feeling up Sirius revolted her. He looked suspiciously at James and Remus.

"Ughh! Don't you look at us mate!" Remus and James said together. He huffed and they carried on walking...until Sirius made another yelp.

"Okay, whoever's doing it: stop it! It's freaking me out!"

"Padfoot, it can't be us. You're behind at the back, you're following. It's not possible," Remus explained leading the group, and looked at Sirius who was indeed at the end of their lining formation.

"It's all your imagination, Padfoot," James said.

"What? You mean I'm imagining someone feeling me up in the dark?" Sirius suggested hysterically.

"Yep," Lily concluded.

The four were about to continue walking when a sudden growl was heard. They halted and looked at each other anxiously.

"Please say that was your stomach growling, Padfoot," James pleaded.

Sirius slowly shook his head in response, then turned around and screamed.