Whoville Falls
CINDY-Lou Who was just waking up to the music of her alarm: "Silver BEEEELLLS! SILVER BEEELLS!" when she heard the chaos outside her home. She merely smiled. "It must be Stu and Gary making presents for me again. Silly brothers." Then an explosion rocked the street and one of Bowser's minions smashed through the window and flew into the room. Then it slammed into the wall, slid down the wall, and collapsed into a heap on the floor.
"Wow. These are going to be some really cool presents," said Cindy-Lou happily.
She slid out of bed, the bells in her hair tinkling. This irked the Narrator very very much.
So the Narrator got revenge.
As Cindy-Lou Who was singing and positively waltzing down the steps, the chandelier fell, landing inches from Cindy's feet, and crushing her father. Drat, thought her father, I missed. The Narrator sweat drops. Her father had always been strange, and today was no exception. He had been planning to bump Cindy off ever since the day she poured arsenic into his tea. Unfortunately, his chandelier scheme had not worked and he died while Cindy skipped merrily down the stairs.
"MOTHER!" she called cheerfully, "Daddy tried to kill me again. Make him run laps!"
Mrs. Lou-Who was fat. She was utterly obese. Her lard filled three chairs when she sat down to eat her 8:00 AM box of doughnuts with jimmies.
With her mouth stuffed with doughnut, she moaned "Maaa-dooom naah gooshhhhhhh." Which, of course, meant "Man, no more goulash for you. I MUST HAVE MORE GOULASH!"
Mrs. Lou-Who tried to stand, but tripped and fell onto the table, crushing it and causing the entire house to implode.
Cindy put on a black robe and began screeching "Oh DANNY BOOOOOOOOYYYYYY! The pipes the pipes are ca-ha-hah-hall-ing! From glen to glennnnnn-and down the mountain sideeeeeeieieieieieie!" and continued even as large pink bubbles floated into the room. The bubbles remained stationary until Cindy had to go and try to hit a high G. "For ye WILLLLLL BEEEEEND!"
POW. All thebubbles instantly exploded, sending pink goo around the wreckage that was previously a home.
Through the pinkish haze, the jigglypuffs that were in the protective bubbles stood in action-ready poses.
"Well aren't you sweet!" Cindy cooed, reaching down to pat a jigglypuff on the head. The puff screamed as Cindy tried to hold it. Than Cindy but squeezed too hard and the thing popped and fizzed and whirled around the room like a balloon that hadn't been tied before it was let go.
The jigglypuffs glared and hissed, then slapped into two lines, each facing another. Then Jigglypuff herself entered the room. "PUFF! Jiggly PUFF!"
The jigglypuffs attacked on their leader's command. Soon, all that was left of Cindy-Lou Who was a ragged black robe and a trail of blood. Jigglypuff smiled through her bloody fangs. She walked into the charred remains of Whoville as the army swarmed on. Her work here was done.
Meanwhile, at the castle of Hyrule, Link and Zelda were planning to have a tea party.
"I'll go check to make sure that it won't rain again," said Zelda.
"Well, then I will go get the tea and teacups and saucers and crumpets and butter," Link said.
When Zelda walked outside she saw no rain, but instead there were thousands of Bowser's minions, pikachus and jigglypuffs. They were headed straight for Hyrule. In their path was a small village, which put up the first real resistance to this rampage.
"Are you the king's soldiers?" a man asked Pikachu. "I thought the king was overthrown."
"Pika pika!" Pikachu shouted as he kicked the man down and took a very loud fart on his face. The man suffocated from the toxic fumes.
"Hi my name is uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ddddddddddddduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, um I don't know what my name is. Do you know what my name is little man?" the strange man asked Pikachu. For a response Pikachu shot his arm off.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha. That tickled. You are a funny little man," the queer moron gave Pikachu a pat on the head…which was when he lost his other arm. Instead of waiting for him to answer Pikachu hit the moron down with a kick and shot him until only his head was left.
"I feel smaller, little man," the moron said to Pikachu. By this time Pikachu was furious; he hated being called little man. Now cute little Pikachu had turned from yellow to a bright red.
"Piiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkaaaaaaaacccchhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Pikachu screamed before kicking the man as far as his little feet could kick him. The moron's head flew into a store window just before the store blew up from a missile.
"Pikachu, pika pika Pikachu," (Which meant: "I finally killed that stupid poopmuncher.") muttered Pikachu to himself.
Most of the villagers met gruesome ends just like the moron and the other man.
"Oh no! Now the tea party has to be canceled again! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zelda screamed and shook the whole castle.
"Now dearie, I'm sure we can schedule a new, better, one next week!" Link hurriedly exclaimed in an effort to cool Zelda's rising temper.
"I DON'T WANNA HAVE A BETTER ONE LATER! I WANT ONE NOW!" Zelda exploded from her severe temper tantrum.
"Oh, dear. Not again," Link sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "MATINANCE!" Link called, "ZELDA THREW ANOTHER TANTRUM! GET THE SPECIALTY CREW IN HERE NOW! AND BRING ASPRIN."