Chapter 18
This is some twisted nightmare I'm having, James thought bitterly as he watched the scene before him. The boys were still stunned with silence.
"Is anyone going to tell me what the hell is going on? None of you have said anything for the past five minutes," Lily pointed out. It was funny how Sirius and Peter were looking at James as though he was going to have an explanation to solve their problems. If they thought he had a plan, they were very much mistaken.
"Slap me, Padfoot," James commanded. Sirius looked at his friend in confusion, but nonetheless slapped him across the cheek. He couldn't turn down such a tremendous offer.
"Nope, it's not a dream," James whispered, while he massaged his cheek in pain.
"Oh my goodness," Lily touched an arm covered in bruises and cuts, belonging to the now passed out and pale-faced boy of Remus Lupin. "Who did this to him?" Again, she got no reply. "Sirius?" she questioned furiously. Sirius looked wide-eyed as the question was directly aimed at him.
"Uh, well, ya see, Peter wet his pants," Sirius started. Lily narrowed her eyes, not seeing how Peter's peeing problems were related in any way to Remus' injuries. "And, then, um, Remus came along and slipped on Peter's pee and he fell. And, uh, the corridor was full of knives and, uh, also boulders, so that explains his injuries!" Sirius concluded. Lily looked exasperated by such an answer.
"Yeah, whatever you say, Mister 'I-sleep-naked'," she replied, unconvinced.
Sirius blushed furiously. "I like the fresh air..." he mumbled.
"Peter? Can you tell me what happened?" Lily asked, turning to the small boy who was struggling dearly as he was supporting Remus. Peter was breathing heavily as if he was having an asthma attack and was especially startled that Lily was talking to him. Sirius and James gave him a furtive look, telling him to think of a reason, quickly. At least say something; anything, as he carried on breathing deeply like an obese person who'd just walked up a flight of stairs.
"Peter? Hel-lo? You still haven't clarified anything," Lily pressed, tapping her foot.
"Uh...it was...the nifflers?" Peter answered eventually, his tone uncertain. Lily frowned at him, deciding he was a permanent hopeless case, never to start a conversation with him ever again, and also made a mental note to hit him later for even suggesting the nifflers once he'd recovered from the so-called panic attack he was having.
"James? Tell me what's going on," Lily pleaded. James gulped at her: to tell, or not to tell?
"Uh. Remus, got an...allergic reaction...from...wearing Sirius' dragon skinned thongs?" he fibbed, cowering as Lily glared at him.
"This is ridiculous," Lily made a moan of frustration. James was dreadfully thinking that blatantly lying to Lily wasn't getting him in her good books.
"It's the truth, Lily!" Sirius protested. "He threatened to grope me death if I didn't hand over the thongs! And he-"
"Sirius, will you shut it-"
Lily was about to carry on talking but Sirius panicked at her lack of not believing the 'truth' so swiftly conjured a quaffle using his wand.
"What are you doi-"
Lily immediately fell backwards as Sirius pelted the quaffle at her face. Her eyes rolled back as she blacked out and fell on the common room foor, while James also fell to his knees with her.
"You have got to stop doing that," Peter complained tiredly as Sirius shrugged his shoulders.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" James yelled at Sirius, pushing Lily's hair sticking to her face. "Great, she's out. Please explain to me why you just did that?"
"Her voice was annoying," Sirius said simply. James immediately punched him in the arm at that comment. "It was the easiest answer! Knock her out so she wouldn't ask any more questions!"
"You can't just knock out anyone you like with quaffles!"
"Sure I can: I'm Sirius Black!" he reminded James, posing.
James shook his head tiredly. "Padfoot, just take Moony upstairs."
"What? But I-"
"Sirius, just do it," James cut him off sternly. Sirius was about to object but saw James' severe face and decided against it.
"Come on Wormtail. We know when we're not wanted," Sirius said grimly as they dragged Remus up the stairs to their dormitory. Once James was certain his friends had returned to their dorm since their footsteps were replaced with silence, he turned to Lily who had awoken from her unconscious state and was running a hand through her red hair.
"What just happened?" Lily asked groggily.
"Er, do you remember anything?" James asked, hoping that Sirius' quaffle to her head had taken away the memory of seeing Remus injured.
"I remember seeing Remus beaten up," James groaned at her skill of recalling, "and then Sirius hitting me in the head with a bloody quaffle."
"Sorry about that. He's like a hyper puppy dog that can't be controlled. Jumps and bounces around...and pees where likes-"
"James," Lily interrupted. "Will you stop talking about Sirius and just tell me what happened to-"
"Cushions!" James interrupted, dragging the confused Lily to the couch and picking up a cushion, displaying it to her whilst smiling manically. "I mean, what are they for? The couch is comfy enough. Its padded, soft, squishy. What is their purpose?" he rambled on, hoping that Lily would take a sudden interest in the subject of cushions and not the subject of Remus. "I mean, they're not that comfortable to rest your head on. They're just for decoration! When you sit on the couch, and the cushion is there, you can't exactly rest your back on it, so you move it to the side, right? So what's the point of-"
"James, I don't want to hear your cushion theory," Lily snapped. James was feeling hot and nervous. He realised he shouldn't be feeling hot when he was only wearing boxers. "Will you get a grip and just tell me-
"Foot stools!" James interrupted again, pointing to the foot stool by a chair near the fire. "Do we actually need them? Do we even use them? Like, can you really get that comfy and stretch your legs out in that position-"
"James! Will you stop changing the subject?" Lily yelled. He looked at her tiredly and ran a hand through his hair, realising he couldn't ramble on anymore about random useless objects and their objectives. They were not distracting her from Remus and frankly it was exhausting talking about cushions and foot stools.
"I think we should sit down," James said dreadfully as he sat on the couch, Lily following in suit. James licked his lips nervously, contemplating if he had the guts to reveal Remus' secret.
"C'mon James, it can't be that bad," Lily urged.
Oh it is that bad, James thought grimly.
"Okay. Remus is a..." James paused, watching Lily's impatient face. "Remus is a..." He started again, not finding the next word coming out anytime soon. Lily gave his hand a slight squeeze of support, which she thought would give him the courage to tell her. Her squeeze to his hand only made him more nervous and flushed.
"He's a...sleepwalker!" James blurted out.
Yep. My speculation was correct. I can never tell the truth, James concluded in his mind.
"He's a sleepwalker?" Lily repeated.
"Uh, yeah!" James watched Lily's unsure face. "He sleepwalks! The guys and I take turns in watching him at night! Its a hard job but somebody's got to do it!"
"So where did he go tonight? How did he get those injuries?" Lily beseeched. James regretted bringing up the sleepwalker tall tale because he still had to explain Remus' injuries.
"He, uh, walked...off the astronomy tower!"
The astronomy tower! The friggin astronomy tower! You stupid twat. You stupid, utter twat, James cursed himself.
Lily stood up from the couch, irked and resentful. James obligingly joined her in the standing.
"I cannot believe I just believed your sleepwalking rubbish for a second!"
James again cursed himself; if he'd only made up a more plausible excuse for Remus' injuries, then he would of gotten away with it and would be sleeping right now, not receiving Lily's spit of angry shouts.
"Why do you keep lying to me?" She yelled. "When will you ever grow up?"
James bit on his tongue, trying to stop himself from making a remark that he was growing up faster than he could handle.
"Don't you trust me enough to tell me the truth?" Out of the blue, she looked on the verge of tears. He immediately softened at her face.
"Lily, course I do. It's just," James sighed, "You don't understand."
"Then make me understand," she retaliated.
"But its not my decision. Its Remus'. Its his choice to tell you, not mine," he argued.
"James, please," she pleaded. He still remained silent, and she shook her head resentfully. "I can't believe I actually thought you'd changed and that I'd gotten to know a different side of you that nobody sees, that there's more behind the prankster James Potter and his egotism. That-"
"Remus is a werewolf."
Lily immediately stopped talking and blinked, several times more than the average blinking required.
"What?" she breathed.
"Remus, is, a werewolf." James repeated. Lily slowly put a hand to her gaping mouth, in politeness of course because no one wants to see the insides of a person's mouth and count how many fillings or cavities they'd had. James watched frenziedly at her reaction.
"And before you say that he's a monster or whatever: he's not. He's one of my best friends and one of the kindest people I know. He wouldn't hurt a fly. He doesn't deserve to…to go through so much pain," James spat angrily.
"I was never going to say he was a monster," Lily murmured, upset that he'd even thought she would speak those hateful words.
"Sorry," James apologized as he sat back down on the couch, gazing out the common room window at the sun that was rising in the sky; the orb of light that he bet Remus wished would never fade.
"I can't believe it," Lily said, her voice quiet. "I can't believe, out of all the loathsome people, Remus has to suffer," she said sadly.
"Makes you think why bad things happen to good people, doesn't it?" James said.
Lily nodded. "But I still don't understand…how do you...I mean, how can you be there with him when he's...not himself," she said uncomfortably.
James bit his lip nervously again and sighed. "Me, Sirius and Peter are animagus," he explained.
"But, that's impossible! Transforming to animal forms takes a long time of training, its complicated and dangerous!"
"Hey, you're talking to a marauder here. Nothing's impossible, too complicated or dangerous. Especially when it involves supporting a friend," James said. Lily couldn't help herself smiling at his loyalty. "You'll never guess what animal I transform into."
Lily looked at him curiously.
"A stag," she murmured. James' jaw dropped.
"How-how did you know?" he whispered astonishingly.
Lily smiled. "A stag, that's you all over, standing tall and proud, the leader," she said softly. James looked at her, flattered. "And hooves of steel," she said mockingly as James chuckled at her.
"I can't believe I've told you all this," he said softly. "I've basically told you all my dark and hidden secrets, you know. I expect a fair exchange."
"You'll never know my secrets, James Potter," Lily replied mysteriously. "I'm honoured you told me about Remus though." She smiled. "I can't believe how much you'd go through for a friend," she said with respect.
"I'd do the same for you, you know," James mentioned. Shyly, Lily smiled. "I suppose you're going to tell everyone now-"
"Of course I won't." Lily protested. James smiled at her gratefully.
"Thanks, Lily flower."
James expected an angry moan of not calling her that nickname, but instead, he received something very different. Before James Potter knew it, he was being hugged by Lily Evans. And this time, she was hugging him on purpose. Not by accident, not after falling or tripping so she clumsily fell into his arms. No, she was hugging him because she wanted to.
She feels warm and snugly, like a giant teddy bear...but with red hair and adorable freckles, James thought as he held his arm delicately around her waist.
"I'm glad Remus has a friend like you," Lily breathed into his neck, her words tickling that particular neck. James made a stumbling sound of "uhhuh", not resembling any actual words but they were the only noises forming from his trembling mouth.
For once, James thanked Merlin that his friend was a werewolf, because Lily was hugging him because he was the friend of a werewolf. And hugging Lily Evans was good. In fact, hugging Lily Evans was great. Now, he couldn't comprehend how exactly he ever hated or became enemies with this girl, or even if he hated her at all. Never could he hate the girl who was blowing his mind with the tickling of her breath.
Lily pulled away, James slightly stumbling as her weight had left his. For a split second, as they gazed at each other, it seemed the perfect picture moment; too perfect. As each others lips felt drawn to each other, they both closed their eyes as they thought they would be experiencing a passionate kiss. That was interrupted by a unsettling sound.
Scratch...Scratch.
They both abruptly opened their eyes.
"What was that?" Lily whispered fearfully, her warm breath softly hitting James' mouth. He wanted nothing more than to ignore the frighteningly strange noises of a monster lurking in the shadows; or maybe that monster was the mad man Jonathan?
Scratch...Scratch.
"Whatever it is, it's scaring the crap out of me," James murmured truthfully. Whatever it was, he would kill it for ruining such a impeccable moment. At those words, he suddenly wondered if it was Sirius. He really hoped it was Sirius.
Scratch...Scratch.
"You don't think its like in one of those spooky muggle stories where the scratching is coming from the bathroom where some mad man has killed your sister and hung her by the shower rail and your dog is locked in the cupboard and there's blood dripping-"
"Not helping, James."
Scratch...Scratch.
As the sound recurred, they found themselves recognising where the noise was coming from as their heads turned in abruptness.
"I think it's coming from behind the couch," Lily spoke quietly.
Scratch...Scratch.
James nodded and hoped he was nodding with courage and boldness, not a typical 'Peter nod' which was full of fear. He brashly grabbed a cushion, which he'd been complaining about earlier being completely useless, and held the cushion in a weaponry stance. It was a soft, pathetic and cushy weapon, but a weapon nevertheless. He swiftly handed a cushion to Lily.
"What are we going to do? Smother it to death?"
Scratch...Scratch.
She squeaked and decided to that she might as well settle to James' idea. It was an idea -a crappy one- but an idea at least.
"On the count of three, we look," James told her, and she nodded obediently. "One...two...two and a half...two and three quarters...," Lily rolled her eyes, "three!"
At the third count, they both looked over the back of the couch, holding their cushions in the air in defence, but made no attempt to attack. They were in too confounded in shock as they shrieked at where the scratching had come from. Lily found herself trying to shield her scarred eyes with the cushiony weapon in her hand.
At their sound of their disturbed screaming, their heads turned swiftly to the sound of tumbling down the staircase. The tumbling was coming from Sirius and Peter who had planned to spy at James and Lily under the invisibility cloak, but had stumbled on the stairs at the sound of their yelling.
"AAARGH!" Sirius and Peter yelled in unison as they tripped, falling down the stairs and hitting every step on the way down. The cloak fell off them as they landed on the common room floor. Sirius stumbled as he stood up in pain and looked at Lily and James, who were still screaming, then looked to what exactly they were screaming about.
"AAAAH!" Sirius yelped, his mouth as wide as a dementor about to make the deadly kiss.
There behind the couch were now four nifflers. Although their return had been expected, they had not expected four nifflers to be scaring the hell out of them by scratching the couch. But the nifflers were wearing something, Sirius' particular something's: Sirius' pink underwear. The nifflers were wearing his pink underpants. Sirius had never been so horrified in his life. He was even more scared then his first day at Hogwarts when he spotted Snape's ugly face.
"THE ABOMINATION! THE MADNESS!" Sirius screamed as he ran up the stairs, tripping over a passed out Peter who was unconscious due to the fall down the particular staircase. James and Lily watched as Sirius ran up the stairs wailing, and then turned back to the nifflers who were looking up at them innocently. The sight of them was rather perturbing. Seeing a magical creature wearing something that was meant for a human was just not right. James suddenly conjured a blanket using his wand and distastefully placed it on top of the nifflers.
"James!"
"What? They were looking at me weird! They're wearing Sirius underwear. His pink underwear. I don't want nightmares."
They sat in silence.
James suddenly looked nervous at Lily. "Um, are we going to talk about what we might of done a second ago?" He asked, referring to the kiss that should have happened, but didn't.
Lily made an amusing smile. "Cushions! What is their purpose?" She mimicked James, copying his pitiful changing of subject's technique.
"Touché."
Lily looked at the nifflers that were scrambling around under the blanket and rest her head on the couch.
"I need sleep," she yawned. James scrambled in the pocket of his boxers and produced a bar of chocolate.
"Here," he broke a off a generous handful of chocolate squares and handed it to Lily.
"You keep chocolate in your boxers," Lily said slowly, as she received the chocolate. She was having doubts whether to eat it, although it did come from a new bar and was wrapped. The mere fact that it had come from James Potter's boxers was a little daunting. He grinned sheepishly at her.
"Midnight snack," James said. "Eat it, I hear chocolate makes you sleep better."
"I've never heard that theory," Lily said.
"That because I just made it up, but I'm sure it does give you better dreams."
"Sure," Lily laughed. "What flavour is it?"
"I dunno. I nicked it off Remus." He shrugged his shoulders to Lily as she happily gobbled down the chocolate.
"Mmm," Lily murmured. "It tastes like...it tastes like..." She couldn't continue her sentence and explain to James what exactly she thought the sweet tasted like, as she'd promptly gone into deep slumber, snuggling into the couch.
"Huh?" James watched the sudden sleeping girl. "Oh….crap," he cursed, eyeing the bar in his had. "This is Remus' chocolate for Sirius; the drugged one to keep him asleep."
He looked from the chocolate and then back to the slumbering Lily, then shrugged his shoulders to himself.
"Well, can't beat her, might as well join her." James broke off a handful of chocolate pieces and greedily stuffed them in his mouth. He smiled happily as he went into instant sleep.
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"What the hell?" Lily murmured slothfully as she woke from the couch, wiping a hand slowly over her mouth. She looked at the hand that was now covered in saliva...and chocolate. She could only imagine how unflattering she must look with a chocolate, saliva covered mouth and messy bed hair. She groaned; er head was resting on James' stomach, again.
Why is his bloody naked stomach so damn comfortable! She cursed to herself.
As Lily removed her head from his stomach, she gazed at James who sleeping, smiling slightly with his own chocolate covered mouth. She clutched her head which was strangely throbbing, although she was awake, she felt her eyes closing on their own accord. As she was about to poke James in the cheek to wake him, he instead awoke at the sound of the common room door opening. A tired looking Sirius and Remus entered.
"Hey guys," James yawned as they came up to him. Lily made an unenthusiastic wave to them.
"I take it you've quit your habit of sleeping naked then," Sirius told James as he sat on sat on him, without his permission. Not that James would let him sit on him with his approval.
"Get off me, you fat arse." James pushed him off. Sirius looked highly insulted and started looking at his buttocks, wondering when they'd gained in size and was tempted to ask the others the question of 'does my bum look big in this?'
"I'm loving the chocolate covered mouths by the way," Remus commented, as he weakly sat on one of the common chairs, wincing in pain.
"Are you okay mate?" James asked concernedly. Remus looked at least better then earlier, although you could still see the slight marks of scratches and bruises.
"We've just been to the hospital wing. Moony took some healing potions so he should be fine," Sirius explained.
"Yeah, I've noticed they're not instant healing," Remus mentioned. "That's enough cushions, Padfoot," he said tiredly as Sirius had barricaded the poor boy in cushions to make him more comfortable. Instead he felt like he was suffocating in the walls of squishiness. Remus glanced a worried look at Lily who had remained silent.
"Er, Lily? Sirius told me that you saw me last night after I came back," Remus said, quite uncomfortably. Lily slowly nodded. "I suppose you know what I am then..." He trailed off.
"Yeah," Lily said, stealing a look at James who was guiltily looking down at his feet. She could tell he was feeling shameful about revealing Remus' secret that was supposed to remain secret. "He told me that you were a... sleepwalker," Lily finished. James cast her a furtive look. She was lying to protect him and he was extremely thankful. If the rest of the marauders weren't there, he would have grabbed and kissed her. Although, he reckoned he probably would of got interrupted by some person, creature or object.
"What?" Sirius said. .
"He told you that?" Remus said.
"Yeah…I just want to say, Remus," Lily started softly. "You're a great guy, sleepwalker or not. Don't ever think, or let anyone else think, that you're shit because of it, because you're not. I'm sure there's a cure for it out there somewhere. Don't let it take over your life."
Remus smiled gratefully at her.
"Are we still talking about sleepwalking?" Sirius asked in bewilderment.
"Thanks, Lily," Remus told her appreciatively, ignoring Sirius.
"I'm hungry. Lets get some breakfast, people! Leave Wormtail to sleep," Sirius said dismissively as the group looked at Peter who was still passed out in front of the common room stairs. They watch amusedly as a rushing first year ran down the common room stairs, not noticing Peter was there, and yelped as they tripped over the unconscious body.
"He's a hazard," Sirius commented.
"We've got class in like twenty minutes," James mentioned as he cast a refreshing cleaning spell on him and Lily and changed their clothes to their usual uniform.
"Don't worry, no one will miss him," Sirius said casually.
"Shouldn't we put a sign on him, or something?" Lily asked, watching as another first year ran down the stairs, tripping over Peter and collapsed onto the other first year. They imagined there would be a big pile of small first years at the end of the day.
"What, you mean like those signs like 'wet floor' or 'cleaning in progress'?" James suggested.
"Yeah, one of those signs. But not of that exact wording," she mentioned before James conjured a 'wet floor' sign on top of Peter.
"Fine, we'll put up a sign for you, Lily, since you're such the safety monitor," Sirius said sarcastically, then using his wand, made a yellow cone appear which displayed the words 'Sleeping in progress'. He placed the cone on Peter's head which slanted to the side.
"There, he looks gorgeous, food time!" Sirius said eagerly.
"You know, if you keep eating, you'll get as fat as Father Christmas," James pointed out.
"He-lo, everyone loves him! And I look sexy in red. And the way he talks dirty to girls. Have you been a naughty girl this year, Lily?" Sirius growled.
Lily hid behind James.
"Padfoot, have you forgotten about the naughty boys?" Remus reminded him.
Sirius made a look of horror and shut his mouth.
"So...pink underwear, Pads? Let me guess, an ex-girlfriend had a pink underpants fetish?" James chuckled.
"No need for explanatory on the 'ex' part of that sentence."
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"Are you guys okay?" Remus asked James ad Lily, looking worried. Remus himself was pretty knackered after his full moon expedition. However, the two fifth years before him, now eating breakfast in the great hall, somehow looked more tired then him and they weren't even undercover werewolves.
"My eyes are all droopy," James and Lily moaned in unison. "Hey, stop copying my illness," they said again together, "Stop it! It's weird!" they said once more, "Bloody hell!"
"Will you guys shut it? You're like those lovebird parrots," Sirius complained.
Lily sighed, then stirred her cereal in her bowl. "I feel weird," she said, yawning.
"I know, me too. I'm too tired to even eat breakfast!" James spoke with disbelief.
"Wow, there must be something wrong with you then," Remus commented.
He watched as James and Lily stared at their breakfast, and almost suddenly, their eyes shut and their heads dropped violently into their food.
"O-kay...What just happened?" Remus asked Sirius. They stared at James and Lily who were strangely sleeping in their food. Sirius shrugged his shoulders in response, then carried on eating his pancakes. As Remus contemplated whether he should be worried or not, James and Lily suddenly woke from their few seconds nap.
"OH MY GOD, I'M BLIND!" James screamed as he awoke and took his head off from the table. Sirius sighed, and then knocked off the two fried eggs which were covered over his glasses, blocking his sight. "Oh," James realised, once the eggs were took off, and he blushed at his sudden outburst. He made a sound of disgust as his glasses were covered with oozy yellow egg yolk.
"You're glasses are eggy," Sirius giggled. James changed his breakfast to a plate of toast.
"What just happened?" Lily questioned confusedly, picking out cereal that was caught in her hair and wondering why her face was all milky.
"You guys just passed out, or something. It was weird. If you do it again, I will start to worry," Remus said.
On that note, James and Lily looked at him blankly, and again, their eyes shut abruptly as they blacked out again into their breakfast.
"Okay, that's starting to get annoying," Sirius commented, as the second Lily's head connected with her bowl of cereal, a wave of milk immediately splashed over him.
Remus and Sirius waited for the couple to awake again, along with a few confused students sitting next to them who were wondering exactly what drugs they were on. James and Lily stirred awake a few seconds later, faces full of confusion and smeared with food.
"Aw man," James complained, wiping a hand over his face that was now covered in the spread from the toast. Sirius amusedly wiped a finger to James cheek and licked it.
"Mmm marmalade," Sirius commented. James said nothing, scrubbing his face.
"What. Just. Happened?" Lily asked again, her face drenched in milk; she was getting sick of her face getting covered in food.
"I think you've both suddenly become epileptic," Remus told them.
"But James can read, I've seen him," Sirius protested.
"That's dyslexia, Padfoot," Remus told him tiredly.
"Oh no," Lily moaned. "I can feel myself going again." She forced to keep her eyes open, while James had resulted in trying to keep his eye lids open with the help of forks.
"Is it something you've eaten? James, recite everything you ate last night," Remus told him.
Sirius chuckled. "That'll take all day…"
"You saw what we ate at breakfast and lunch," Lily reminded him.
"Yeah," James agreed. "And all we ate last night was some of your chocolate."
Remus gulped. "What?" he said dreadfully. "You ate some of my chocolate?"
"Yeah," James cringed. "Just some of that drugged chocolate that you give to Sirius to make him fall asleep. Don't worry."
"That chocolate was drugged?" Lily said furiously.
"THAT CHOCOLATE WAS DRUGGED?" Sirius said, even more furiously.
"No, course not, Padfoot!" Remus lied, then frantically grabbed a bar of chocolate from his pocket and broke off a piece. "Here, c'mon Pads, it'll make you feel better!"
Sirius looked unsurely at the chocolate. "Has it been tampered with?" he asked suspiciously.
"Noo..." Remus lied. Sirius shrugged his shoulders, gobbled the chocolate, then promptly blacked out into his syrup covered pancakes.
"Okay, now that's over with," Remus said, focusing back on James and Lily. He groaned when he saw that they'd somehow passed out again whilst he'd drugged Sirius. He waited patiently for a few seconds until they woke up again, just as startled as before.
"It happened again, didn't it?" Lily groaned. "You need to make a record of this."
"Look," Remus began, trying to remain calm, "How many pieces of chocolate exactly did you have?"
"C'mon, Moony, you're talking to James Potter here," he said, oddly cheerful.
Remus groaned. "Oh god…Did you have more than one piece?"
"He made me, in fact, he forced me to eat a handful of the chocolate!" Lily protested her innocence. James looked at her in disbelief.
"I forced you? Forced you, my arse! I offered it to you and you accepted it! There was no forcing involved!" James rectified to Remus.
"Maybe you'll learn your lesson, Prongs, to never steal," Remus told him smugly.
James scoffed at him. "Sirius stole my trousers!" he reminded Remus.
"Can we please get back to the subject," Lily said tiredly, moving her bowl of cereal away from her before she had another nap attack.
"You must be experiencing the side effects of having more then one piece. You're not supposed to have more than one piece at a time," Remus said with annoyance.
"Well, there was no bloody warning label on it! There was no 'Warning-do not eat more than one piece or you'll suddenly going to sleep every bloody 10 seconds!"
James was about to complain some more and suggest a few more warning labels that were not on the chocolate bar wrapper, but the sound of sniggering in the great hall as a student entered distracted him. They watched as Peter limped towards them, completely unaware that there was yellow cone on his head. The words were now changed on the warning sign from 'sleeping in progress', to 'I like to bum the marauders'.
"What?" Peter said uncertainly, wondering why everyone's eyes were on him.
James furiously grabbed the cone and smashed it to the floor, then took one glaring look to the culprit who'd changed the words on the cone. Lucius Malfoy sat at the Slytherin table, smirking as his cronies laughed in uproar. Remus winced as he watched the angry James grab his wand and was about to curse Malfoy, but then made a sigh of relief when he saw James eyes squinting, stumble and then fell back on his seat, falling asleep instantly as Lily joined him in the slumber. His head was now in a bowl of porridge.
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Lily was feeling very uncomfortable as she sat next to James in Transfiguration. All she could think about was the kiss that was destined to happen in the common room, unfortunately interrupted by the nifflers. She was embarrassed by her actions, out of the blue, just hugging him like that. She just did it on instinct, admiration and respect, she defended herself. She was just amazed at what James and the rest of the marauders, the perverted Sirius and Pee Queen Peter had gone through for Remus.
"What's up with you two?" Anna whispered to Lily, sitting on the left side of her. She'd just come out of the hospital wing, determinedly sitting as far away from Sirius Black as possible. Anna noticed the uncomfortable and shy looks between James and Lily, and the nosey friend she was, was now bothering Lily for answers.
"Nothing," Lily said dismissively, cringing as Professor Mcgonagall glowered at her, noticing their whispering whilst she was talking.
"Care to share with the class, Miss Evans?" Mcgonagall asked. James eyed Lily with a peculiar look.
"No, professor!" Lily said nervously, moving her quill across her parchment, making it look like she was copying notes enthusiastically. Once the professor looked away, she dropped the quill and resumed to day dreaming. She had been doing this, until she was elbowed in the stomach by an impatient Anna. Lily glowered at her, not wanting to be caught talking again by the uptight professor, but looked down to what Anna was pointing to. She'd written a note to her on spare parchment.
'What's up with you and James?' It read. Lily took a glance at James beside her, hoping he was not looking and discreetly wrote her reply on the parchment.
'It's complicated. Let's just say we had a moment in the common room.' Lily slid the parchment back to Anna.
Anna raised her eyebrows as Lily looked fixedly away with reddening cheeks.
"Are you okay, Lily?" James whispered, with a tone of concern. "You look a little flushed."
"It's just the chocolate," she murmured back to him, tittering nervously. James gave her an odd look, then returned back to trying to reach a pair of Sirius' underpants that had been stuck on the back of a fellow gryffindor, courteously of Rachel, the 'pants hunt' organiser. Lily was elbowed again, more impatiently by Anna. She looked down at the parchment, reading the words 'Elaborate on the moment, please!'
Lily sighed , picking up the quill as a eager Anna waited for her answer. However, as Lily picked up the quill and was about to write, a sudden nap attack had took over James and Lily, their heads forcefully hitting their desk.
"No! Dammit!" Anna cursed loudly, wanting desperately to hear James and Lily's moment in the common room. Anna looked at Remus for a clarification for their abrupt slumber.
"They've suddenly become epileptic," Remus explained.
"So, it's like, er, an epidemic?" Sirius said confused.
"Well, no, it hasn't attacked a large number of people, just James and Lily-"
"It is a disease though, isn't it?" Sirius asked.
"Well, epilepsy is but-"
"Like leprosy?" Sirius suggested.
"Well, leprosy is a-"
"Have they got leprosy?"
"No, of course not-"
"What is leprosy?"
"It's a highly contagious skin disease-"
"I thought it was those little, green Irish dudes with pots of gold," Sirius said happily, "I like them," he added.
"No, they are leprechauns," Remus corrected.
"So, if you had leprosy, would you be called a leopard?"
"A leopard is an animal, if you had leprosy you would be called a leper-"
"Boys!" Mcgonagall interrupted furiously. "Will one of you tell me what on earth has happened to your associates?" She pointed to James and Lily.
"They had a rough night," Peter explained instead. This appeared to be the wrong thing to say to the fifth years to a class of highly immature fifth years. The words of a 'rough night' made everyone suddenly thinking it was due to congressing with each other. James and Lily slowly awoke to the class of wolf whistles and growls.
"Ugh, I am never eating chocolate again," Lily yawned, and nearly soiled her self when she saw Mcgonagall standing over her, with might intimidation.
"I suggest you both go see Madam Pomfrey later to discuss your sleeping problems," she said icily, returning back to writing on the board. James and Lily reddened.
Lily was about to take some more notes down but was elbowed again by an eager Anna, greatly happy that she was awake and could now give her the details of the 'moment'. Lily was disappointed, hoping she would have another chocolate side effect to make her nap again. Unfortunately, the moment was not coming. Lily grudgingly picked up the quill and wrote down on the parchment.
'I kind of, nearly...kissed him,' Lily wrote.
Anna's eyes widened as she read her words. "NEARLY?" she yelled. Lily cringed as the class looked at her. "Uh, I nearly had a coronary when I saw Sirius' ugly face," she explained, and the class gave her a satisfied nod.
"Hey! That was uncalled for," said a cheesed off Sirius.
Anna furiously wrote down with her quill a reply back to Lily.
'What do you mean NEARLY? Why didn't you?'
'There were nifflers with underpants. Pink underpants. Don't ask,' Lily replied. Anna gave her a look of disturbance at the note of nifflers in underwear and snorted amusedly at the fact that it was pink.
'You did want to kiss him though, didn't you?' Anna winked at Lily.
'Don't do the multi-tasking facial expressions again, please. I don't know. Yeah, I suppose I did want to kiss him.' Lily blushed.
'You're finally admitting you like him! Thank-bloody-God, took you long enough. Lily and James, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!' Anna replied childishly. Lily glared at her.
'Shut up. Alright, I admit it, okay! I, Lily Evans, fancy James Potter and want his babies!' Lily joked, chuckling and passed the note back to Anna. Unfortunately, Mcgonagall had heard her chuckling and was presently standing before them, looking highly infuriated. Lily gasped as Mcgonagall snatched the parchment from their desk before Anna could read it. Mcgonagall shook her head disappointedly.
"Passing notes in my lesson are prohibited. You know that girls. Why don't I read it out to the class?" Mcgonagall suggested.
No, no, NO! This is NOT happening! She's gonna read the last line! The line that was a JOKE! EVERYONE WILL THINK I WANT JAMES POTTER'S BABIES! Lily screamed in her mind.
"Let's see," Mcgonagall said, adjusting her glasses as she flattened out the parchment. Lily gave Anna a look of horror, wondering why on earth she was looking so calm and unconcerned. "'Sirius Black has a small penis'," Mcgonagall read the parchment, turning the parchment front and back, expecting more words.
"EXCUSE ME?" Sirius exclaimed, as the class sniggered at him. Lily looked at Anna for an explanation. She simply showed her wand under the desk, and Lily guessed she'd changed their written words the second Mcgonagall had picked up the parchment. Lily mouthed a grateful 'thank you' to her.
"I'm afraid I will have to take ten points off gryffindor for your note-passing," Mcgonagall told the girls. "It is disrespectful sharing secrets in my lesson about other classmates-"
"But, professor, it is not is a secret! It is sooo not true," Sirius argued. "C'mon, mines the biggest in this room!" Mcgonagall looked like she was about to explode with anger. "C'mon, I bet Jamesie's is probably the sma-"
However, James could not hear the rest of the sentence which he would curse Sirius for implying, as he and Lily had promptly collapsed into another nap.
--------------
James and Lily sat in the common room; classes were over and they'd retired to homework, but they given up working due to the sudden sleep attacks they got. Sirius, Remus and Peter were in their dorm, slightly aggravated by their abrupt naps so escaped upstairs. Their aggravation was caused by James who'd been writing his History of Magic essay, dipping his quill into the ink well. Unfortunately, at that appropriate time he had a nap attack and went into immediate sleep, unfortunately knocking the inkwell into his three friends who were sprayed with the liquid.
"Owwww, I got ink in my EYES!" Peter complained, tripping over a common chair as he squinted in pain.
"I somehow got ink up my NOSE," Remus announced, sneezing as ink sprayed out of his nostrils.
"I got ink in my MOUTH," Sirius said grimly. The boys looked at him with sympathy; he probably been the worst affected. They figured ink didn't taste nice.
"I think I've got ink poisoning," Sirius opened his mouth wide, wiping his tongue with his hands.
Moodily, the boys fled up the stairs.
James and Lily were not in pleasant moods. All day they'd been having sleeping side effects from Remus' chocolate, and were also having the occasional repetitive dreams of the night before they got their hands stuck. They both panted and sweated as they had the dream of flashing images again.
Flash.
Lily screaming at her appearance in the mirror: her green face and hair staring boldly back at her.
"Lily, you're looking green with envy," Anna chuckled and ducked a bar of soap that was hurled at her head.
Flash.
James yelping as his attractive robe is turned a horrific, fluorescent pink.
"What the hell?" James said furiously. He shrieked when a sixth year pinched his bottom, winking and growling seductively at him.
"Leave me alone, you faggot! I'M NOT GAY!"
Flash.
Each other's faces reddening with anger in the common room.
"You tell me the spell to get all this green crap off me!"
"No way, Evans!"
Flash.
A voice? James and Lily turn their heads, but no one is there.
"What the-"
"Huh?"
Quickly, they both awake, but this time not with confusion, but realization. They now recognised the voice. They now knew whose voice it was.
"It was Peter," they murmured in unison. Their heads turned abruptly to the sound of someone coming down the staircase, regrettably, Peter Pettigrew.
Much outraged looks were directed at him.
"Uh oh..." Peter trembled.
"WORMTAIL, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your arse!"