Secrets of Faith IV –

Disclaimer – They aren't mine… not even a little itty bitty bit.

A/N - My new years resolution try and write (slightly) longer chapters! So I'm starting that now.

My second resolution "Don't write fanfic during the semester" - you can start taking bets on how long that will last now ;)

Huge thanks again to Phoenix for Beta-ing and everyone who is still reading and reviewing.

She found herself still staring into his eyes for what seemed like an eternity, until the moment was entirely broken when he leapt from the cool stone floor where he had been sitting, to be violently sick in what she assumed must be the bathroom just moments later.

Sara ran her hand over her face and let out a resigned breath. 'Wow, you obviously really know how to make a guy want you. You touch him and he immediately runs off to be sick. Great reaction. Just what you've always dreamed of. '

She pushed herself up from the floor and made her way to the doorway of the bathroom, where he now sat leaning back against the side of the bathtub. "I think maybe you need to sleep this off." She was leaning casually against the door frame, rubbing the side of her index finger with her thumb. He ran his fingers slowly through his hair and grunted softly.

He mumbled something fairly incomprehensible and dropped his head back against the side of the tub with an audible clunk. Sara grimaced and leaned down to offer her hands to help him up. After washing his mouth out thoroughly, he followed her fairly obediently for the moment, into the living area where she poured him a couple more glasses of water, standing over him threateningly, to make sure he actually drank them both.

After a fair amount of coercing on Sara's part, she managed to get him to consider sleeping in his own bed rather than the uncomfortable looking couch in the corner of his sitting room. Dragging him forcibly across the room and getting some fairly vague assent that his bedroom was indeed that direction. She finally got to see what she could previously only dream about… Grissom's bedroom.

At last she got to see his room; there is a lot you can find out about someone from the décor of their house, and in particular their bedroom. Sara was nothing if not an expert at examining scenes and drawing conclusions about the people that inhabited them.

It was decorated rather similarly to the rest of his house in a rather clinical grey; Sara wasn't sure how he could sleep in such a sterile looking environment. Maybe it was her feminine side coming through, but she needed some warmth in a room to truly feel comfortable. The fact that even here, he had jars full of god knew what on the shelves with the books, gave her the creeps. It was very reminiscent of his office, where he seemed to spend a large amount of time. Maybe the familiarity made it comfortable. Her brief examination of the room was cut short somewhat when she turned around.

Grissom had immediately started to peel off his T-shirt, then his slacks, paying little notice to Sara, whose eyes widened markedly and she spun around rapidly to face the wall, a blush rising in her face. She felt as if it were something that she should really not be witnessing, despite the fact that she really would have rather liked to be helping him along, and that her presence didn't seem to be bothering him in the least. It simply didn't seem right to just watch him somehow, like a weird kind of voyeurism. It would also just make it harder for her to keep her itchy fingers to herself. She found it hard enough to ignore the almost magnetic attraction; there was no need to compound that problem by having seen him minus most of his usual layers of clothes.

She gave him a good few minutes of rustling, before she decided he must surely be done. She turned to find him struggling with his pajama shirt. The logic of buttons seemed to be escaping him utterly. Striding over she brushed his hands away casually and proceeded to undo all the buttons he had attempted, and re-button it properly. Her hands lingered over each movement, handling it as if it were the most important task in the world.

She looked up from her undertaking, finding his face so close to her own their noses were all but touching. It was one of those moments you can see coming from a mile off, and leaning into him seemed the most natural thing in the world. Sara could feel his hands roaming her back and something snapped her back into reality. She broke the kiss, pushing away against his shoulders firmly.

"Bed, before you do something you will almost certainly regret in the morning." She sounded far more assured than she felt. Sara ran a trembling finger over her lips disbelievingly. He could still kiss however much he may have drunk. It was obviously a natural talent.

He drifted over to the bed, suitably chastised. Sliding between the sheets, he mumbled something that resembled 'goodnight', turning over and curling himself into his duvet. Sara gave a crooked smile, returning the gesture with a whispered "Night."

She was sure he would be fine, but she was also not willing to take the risk that something might happen. Realizing that it was probably not sensible to leave him alone, she scanned to room to identify where she could sit. She thought that sitting on the same bed as him was simply asking for trouble, and the floor was not her favorite option. In the end she decided to make herself as comfortable as possible under the circumstances, and ensconced herself into a winged armchair across the room, under the quilt that lay at the end of his bed. She was borrowing it whether he liked it or not, and he was certainly not in any condition to argue with her at the moment. It had taken him all of two minutes to drop off to sleep; honestly she was not surprised, he looked as tired as she felt.

Sara was woken several hours later by a less than dignified squawk. A newly awoken Grissom had just discovered his new room mate. He had immediately pushed himself upright, leaning back onto his hands. Sara would have paid good money to get a picture of the look of shock embedded into his features. She bit back a smile deeming that it was probably not very tactful.

"Headache?" A terse nod was the only reply she gained. Sara stood, massaging a crick out of her neck and moved to collect the trusty glass of water and a packet of Paracetamol from her bag.

"If it's not a silly question, what are you doing here?" He massaged the back of his head with a free hand and grimaced.

"You uh... were a little indisposed. So they called me to come and pick you up. I'll drop you off to pick up your car later."

"I thought I might have imagined that." The corner of Sara's mouth twitched and she shook her head calmly. He groaned. "I'm sorry."

"S'ok, I didn't really have anything better to be doing." she muttered shrugging.

"That's really not the point, you shouldn't have had to come and bail me out of that kind of situation."

"I'm sure you would do the same for me if the occasion ever arose." He solemnly dipped his head once, wincing slightly, and watched as she replaced the tablets to her bag and turned to sit on the end of his bed. She chose to sit about as far down the other end from him as she could get deciding it would be safer, and less likely to induce a bad reaction.

She watched as he downed the pills sitting the glass back down on the nightstand.

He made no attempt at stopping her. She sat cross legged and rubbed the sheets between her fingers. She looked up from her hands to his face. He was watching her with an expression that beheld a mixture of confusion and expectation. She took a calming breath before she spoke and kept her eyes on him to monitor his responses carefully. She was treating it rather like an interrogation although she would never admit to it.

"How much do you remember about last night?"

"Enough." A silence extended for several seconds. She furrowed her eyebrows a little, 'that was just plain evasive'. "Did you mean what you said?" again he nodded jerkily keeping his eyes averted from her face, seemingly staring at an unidentifiable point on the wall to the right. Getting any words at all out of him this morning was like pulling teeth, and it made the night before seem positively easy. She gave him a little slack, mainly because he was probably nursing the hangover of the century. He was allowed to be a little grouchy under the circumstances.

She kneaded the bedclothes beneath her legs, it was a nervous habit and she had to clench her fingers to stop herself. "You don't have to keep up the façade you know. It's good to know that you're human. We do wonder sometimes." She smiled genuinely, to show that it was meant as a lighthearted comment.

"You're still under the assumption that I'm a robot?" He smiled halfheartedly, but looked mildly hurt by the implication. As she could not be sure that he was not just suffering the aftermath of the night before, she didn't choose to push it.

"You actually believe everything I say." Sara shook her head ruefully. "I know better than to think that. I was upset when I said you didn't feel anything."

He furrowed his eyebrows as if deep in thought. "Why are you still here?" His expression was unreadable and Sara stood almost immediately and backed off, almost tripping on his jeans which still lay on the ground.

Sara felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. Every time she so much as tried to help, to be a friend, or to just repair the damage to their relationship, it only seemed to make it worse. Why could she not learn that this never ended the way she hoped and move on ?

"I uh… I should go shouldn't I... I'm sorry, I just." She was appalled that she could barely string a sentence together and turned around to search for her bag. She was shaking slightly and clasped her hands on the sides of her jeans to hide their trembling. She would never want him to see just how much control he had over her, it was the sort of power she had long avoided giving away. The fact that he seemed to have no idea about this was one of her few defenses. She had learnt long ago, never to let anyone know too much, especially things that they could too easily take advantage of. It had happened before and she was sure as hell not going to let it happen again.

His eyes widened. "Sara…don't. Sara, that's not what I meant." She stopped and looked back over her shoulder not meeting his eyes. Her posture itself portrayed the unspoken question that seemed to be hanging in the air, like a portent of something to come.

"I don't want you to go." He looked back up at her with an uncharacteristic uncertainty in his eyes. "I just… never expected you would stay here with me." He whispered. Sara finally met his eyes and her heart contracted rapidly at the emotion in their depths. Not speaking for a few seconds, Sara bit her lip hesitantly and contemplated him quietly. It seemed that he didn't even notice her appraisal but watched her shifting her weight nervously from one foot to the other.

She stilled herself forcibly and smiled in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. "I'm more patient than you give me credit for." Grissom chuckled and nodded thoughtfully, there was obviously a deeper meaning being alluded to behind the words, but one he was as yet, unwilling to explore. He chose not to reply with more than an 'Mmm' of agreement. Before the quiet could become too pronounced, Sara broke it.

"Do you uh, have coffee in this house? Because I don't know about you but I need at least a couple of cups full before I can call myself awake." She eyed him searchingly as she spoke, she was sure that he knew there was something else she would rather have asked, but obviously chose not to push her, knowing it would end with more of a revelation than he was comfortable with. At some point whatever was unsaid would come out, but Sara was content to let it be for a bit, she would work on him for a better explanation later.

He swallowed, with his mouth and head both still feeling a little like they were filled with cotton wool. "Uh, yeah in the kitchen. Help yourself to some; I'll be out in a minute."

TBC