Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all associted characters do not belong to me.
Hey everyone! Sorry about not updating last weekend-I wasn't home all weekend because I was at my granny's house. Anywho, thanks to all my reviewers yet again! You have no idea how much I appreciate your support!
Misteria Evans: Thanks for the review! And I promise, there's lots more Ron/Hermione stuff coming up! This chapter is FULL of it!
JeN: You have got to be kidding me. Yes Jen, Voldemort is going to come busting into St. Mungo's and take over. (Can you sense the sarcasm???) If you're going to look for foreshadowing you're going to have to do better then that!
Pirate-Lib: You're feeding my ego again-lol! To be honest it's hard for me to write fluffy/romance type stuff because it's just not me. I took a stab at it in this chapter though, I figured it was time for Ron and Hermione to quit kidding themselves.
Hope everyone enjoys the next chapter! I've re-written this chapter about three times now because I keep changing my mind about what I want to happen. First it was going to be just a 'fluff' chapter, then it was going to be a big climatic suspense chapter and now it's about half and half. I had the whole thing written out on paper but have since completely changed my mind and I'm only using it for reference now. I'm thinking this will be cliffie chapter though but it depends. I think I'll just see what happens and let the story take on a mind of its own.
Upon returning from St. Mungo's, the Weasley family and Hermione said their goodnights before heading off to bed, thoroughly exhausted.
Since it was a warm night Ron decided to sleep in only his shorts. However, he made a mental note to throw on a shirt before going down to breakfast the next morning because the last thing he wanted to do was embarrass himself in front of Hermione. It was one thing to walk around shirtless in front of family or at the beach, but another matter entirely to do it in front of company-especially if that company included the girl you fancied.
Ron turned off the lights and crawled into bed, pushing the covers down as he did so. He lay staring up at the dark ceiling for what seemed like ages, but sleep wouldn't come. The house was quiet except for the normal creaks and groans that were commanplace in an old house like the Burrow. The sky outside was pitch black as the moon and stars were obscured by clouds in a most ominous way, unnerving an already uneasy Ron. With Voldemort lurking near by Ron was quite uncomfortable enough and the weather was not helping matters.
I should've asked for some of that dreamless sleep potion, Ron thought miserably as he rolled over on his back. His eyes ached from exhaustion but still sleep would not come.
The minutes ticked by slowly until Ron couldn't take it anymore. A quick glance at the clock told him it was 12:16am.
I should get something to eat, that usually helps.
With a sigh, Ron heaved himself out of bed and padded barefoot across the room to the door. He cracked it open to listen for a moment. Hearing nothing, he proceeded downstairs to the kitchen.
Ron opened the fridge and peered inside. He was still rummaging around when someone coughed from behind him, making him spin around so fast he nearly dropped the pitcher of milk he was holding.
"Guess I wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep," Hermione said with a smile as she walked over.
"Guess not," Ron said.
Hermione's eyes darted lower, lingering for a minute on Ron's bare chest. "Warm night eh?" she sad.
"What?" said a startled Ron, "Oh, yeah..."
Ron suddenly had a strong urge to disappear through the floor as he flushed scarlet with embaressment.
"I'm used to only having family around and mostly being around guys," he said defensively, as he set the milk down on the counter and closed the fridge.
"Well, it's no big deal," Hermione said, "It's just I always thought of you as a bit shy and it surprised me, that's all."
"Shy? Moi?" Ron said in mock surprise.
"Yes you," Hermione said.
"OK, yeah I'm pretty shy sometimes but I've been training for Quidditch and I like shoving off my abs now," Ron said with a grin.
Hermione surveyed him, "Not bad," she said with a smile. "For a skinny guy."
"I am not skinny!" Ron said defensively. "Now Harry, he's skinny-scary skinny even."
"True enough, about Harry I mean," Hermione said, "but you're still pretty skinny. You must have some metabolism because I've seen you eat."
"There's nothing wrong with having a healthy appetite," Ron said with a grin. "Actually I was about to make myself a sandwich, you want one?"
Hermione shrugged, "Sure," she said.
"Take a seat then," Ron said as he indicated a nearby stool. "So what has you awake at this hour?" he asked as he gathered his ingredients.
"Voldemort of course," Hermione replied with a sigh as she settled herself on the stool.
"Do you think he's nearby?"
"Maybe, I'm not sure," Hermione said. "Dumbledore certainly seems to think so and he's usually right about these things."
Ron nodded, "That's for sure."
"I'm worried about Harry too," Hermione continued, "I just hope he doesn't try anything stupid, you know?"
Ron raised his eyebrows. "What? You mean the whole 'hero' thing again?"
Hermione nodded, "You saw what he was like last June when he thought Voldemort had Sirius."
"Yeah, but give the guy a break," Ron said, "He already has enough to deal with because of that."
"I know, I know," Hermione said, "I hope it's kind of knocked some reason into him though."
"So you're blaming Harry for Sirius' death?"
"Not entirely," Hermione said defensively, "I just think that he contributed to it by not staying put. Don't you think so?"
"I'm Harry's best friend," Ron said slowly, as he set down the jar of mayonnaise and looked at Hermione, "and I don't want to say anything bad about him because I know he hasn't had a an easy time. I think that Harry did what any normal person would do-he went to rescue someone who he thought was in danger."
Hermione sighed, "You have a point," she said.
Ron grinned, "What's this?" he said in mock surprise, "Hermione Granger actually admitting that someone else if right and that she might not know everything?"
Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Don't push your luck," she said.
"Alright, alright," Ron said. "Do you think that Dumbledore and Larusso told Harry everything? Because if they did he'll probably tell us."
Hermione frowned as she thought for a moment. "No, I don't think they told him much," she said.
"Why?"
"Because if they tell Harry too much and Voldemort keeps posessing him..." Hermione let the sentence trail off.
"Right," Ron said, "forgot about that."
"I think they told him a little bit though," Hermione said. "They must have, otherwise Harry would've throw a fit."
Ron nodded, "That's for sure," he said, "After Dumbledore kept him in the dark for so long there's no way Harry would let them getaway with not telling him almost everything."
"I get the feeling that even they're stumped about it though," Hermione said. "I think they only know the tip of the iceberg this time because it's not as if they can compare this to other cases because there are no other cases."
"So this is pretty much experimental stuff then?"
"Parts of it are," Hermione said. "I started reading up on curse scars and unusal side effects they cause awhile ago to find out as much as I could. The thing about Harry's is that it actually forged this incredibly strong link between him and Voldemort instead of just a small one. In most cases where a link is formed the link weakens over time but Harry's has only gottan stronger since Voldemort regained his body. It's very complicated because the link is affected by emotion and activity in the brain."
"OK...which means what?"
"The strength of the link changes depending on the different variables involved," Hermione explained.
"Ah, got it."
"And now Voldemort has all that information on Harry and us that he stole from the ministry," Hermione said.
"Wait a minute, I thought that stuff was just statistics and stuff," Ron said.
Hermione shook her head, "No," she said, "It's very detailed information about the person including their strengths and weaknesses."
"That's it?"
"Obviously not but I don't know what else it contains because it's not disclosed to the general public," Hermione said sounding exaspherated.
"Oh."
Ron finished the sandwiches and set one in front of Hermione then walked around and sat beside her with his own sandwich. He watched as Hermione took a bit of her sandwich.
"This is really good Ron," she said, clearly impressed.
"What can I say?" Ron said, "I'm a master chef!"
Hermione laughed, "I don't think one sandwich proves that you're master chef," she said. "Besides, I thought you wanted to be a master Quidditch player."
"I can be both," Ron said simply. "I know how much you like professional Quidditch players though so...."
"If you mean Viktor..." Hermione said warningly.
"Obviously I mean Viktor," Ron said as he rolled his eyes. "How many other professional Quiddicth players do we know?"
"Viktor and I are just friends," Hermione said.
"With privilages?" Ron asked teasingly.
"No!" Hermione said as she slapped his arm.
"Hey! Easy!" Ron said, "I was only kidding! I know you're not like that because you're too nice and proper to be like that."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"Not at all," Ron said. "In fact, most guys prefer nice and proper girls to, well, for lack of better word, sluts."
Hermione stared at him then giggled. "Oh really?" she said, "And which do you prefer?"
"The nice and proper girls obviously," Ron said proudly as he puffed out his chest.
"So...do you have a particular one in mind at the moment?" Hermione asked.
If you only knew, thought Ron.
"Maybe, maybe not."
Hermione looked curious, "Oh really?" she said. "You're not going to tell me who you like?"
"Well are you going to tell me who you fancy?"
"No."
"Then why should I tell you?"
"So I can blackmail you."
"OK, now I'm definitely not telling you," Ron said with a laugh.
They ate in silence for a few minutes.
"So, did you and Viktor ever, you know, kiss and stuff though?" Ron said.
"I hardly think that's any of your business," Hermione said disdainfully.
"Hey, I'm just curious," Ron said. "I'll be honest with you, I've never even tried to kiss a girl which is actually quite pathetic if you think about it. Fred and George find it rather amusing though."
Hermione surveyed him for a moment, as if to see if he was being serious or not. "Well why haven't you?" she asked, "Not that it's any of my business of course, but I might be able to help you figure out a plan to win the heart of that special someone if you give me all the details."
"Well..." Ron said slowly, "I haven't really even been on a date. That Yule Ball thing with Padma was a complete and utter disaster."
"I'll have to agree with you there."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."
"Just helping where I can."
"Anyway, the girl I wanted to go to the ball with already had a date so I just ended up with Padma 'cause Harry got Pavarti to set us up."
"Do you still like this girl?" Hermione asked curiously. "Or do you like someone else now?"
"No, it's the same girl."
"Then why haven't you made a move?"
Ron sighed, "Because I'm scared too," he admitted.
Hermione frowned slightly, "Are you friends with her and are you scared that perhaps asking her out might ruin the friendship if the romance doesn't work?" she asked briskly.
Ron gaped at her, "How do you do that?" he asked.
"Do what?" asked a confused Hermione.
"Know everything!"
"It was just a lucky guess," Hermione said with a shrug. "So let's see then, girls you're friends with....hmmmm, well...."
"Are you going to tell me who you fancy then and why you haven't made a move?" Ron asked in an attempt to distract her.
"I haven't made a move because girls generally don't make the first move," Hermione replied. "I've tried subtle hints but they haven't really worked."
"Well, if he's like me subtle probably doesn't work," Ron said with a laugh.
"Actually I think only one out of every million men understands subtle hints," Hermione said.
"There you go then," Ron said, "That's why you should make the first move."
"But what if...."
"What if what?"
"What if he didn't feel the same way? It's be so embaressing!"
Ron thought a moment, "OK, yeah it would be but people would forget about after awhile and at least you'd know how he felt and, if he didn't feel the same way, you could move on with your life."
"I'm impressed Ron," Hermione said, "You actually sound like you know what you're talking about."
"Actually I'm just repeating what Charlie said to me," Ron admitted.
"I would say I'm surprised but I'm really not," Hermione said with a smile.
"So...are you going to tell me who you fancy now that I've given you first class advice?"
"Not a chance."
"What if I told you who I liked?"
Hermione looked at him, clearly surprised.
"And who would that be exactly?" she asked.
"As if you don't already know," Ron said with a laugh as he shook his head.
Hermione furrowed her brow, "Actually, I'm not all together sure," she said. "There's only really one canidate but she seems so unlikely..."
"Why does she seem unlikely?"
"Just because, well, I can't explain it."
"And why's that?"
"It's just to...to..."
"To what?"
"Yes," said an unfamiliar voice from the doorway, "To what Miss Granger?"
Ron and Hermione spun around to see a figure shrouded in long black robes with a hood that obscured her face from view. She pulled off her hood revealing the face of a woman that was all too famaliar because of her heavily lidded eyes.
I'm evil for having another cliffie chapter, I know but it's already like 9 pages long and I knew that if I didn't stop now I'd get carried away and it would be a 20 page chapter. I should update soon, maybe even Wednesday but we'll see. Anywho, please review because reviews make me happy and I write more faster! Ciao for now peoples!
-Megan
P.S. I tried some fluff but I got frustrated with it because it was all corny and junk so I reverted back to my usual style. I think it's a pretty decent chapter (considering I'm finishing it at 11 o'clock at night) so I'm pretty happy with it. In other words-if you flame I will make you pay. I'm not joking. I will actually destroy you in my crazy sugar induced story. MUHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW!!! So anyway, this is a prime example of why I should not write serious stuff late at night when I'm tired.
Hey everyone! Sorry about not updating last weekend-I wasn't home all weekend because I was at my granny's house. Anywho, thanks to all my reviewers yet again! You have no idea how much I appreciate your support!
Misteria Evans: Thanks for the review! And I promise, there's lots more Ron/Hermione stuff coming up! This chapter is FULL of it!
JeN: You have got to be kidding me. Yes Jen, Voldemort is going to come busting into St. Mungo's and take over. (Can you sense the sarcasm???) If you're going to look for foreshadowing you're going to have to do better then that!
Pirate-Lib: You're feeding my ego again-lol! To be honest it's hard for me to write fluffy/romance type stuff because it's just not me. I took a stab at it in this chapter though, I figured it was time for Ron and Hermione to quit kidding themselves.
Hope everyone enjoys the next chapter! I've re-written this chapter about three times now because I keep changing my mind about what I want to happen. First it was going to be just a 'fluff' chapter, then it was going to be a big climatic suspense chapter and now it's about half and half. I had the whole thing written out on paper but have since completely changed my mind and I'm only using it for reference now. I'm thinking this will be cliffie chapter though but it depends. I think I'll just see what happens and let the story take on a mind of its own.
Chapter 7: A Midnight Surprise
Upon returning from St. Mungo's, the Weasley family and Hermione said their goodnights before heading off to bed, thoroughly exhausted.
Since it was a warm night Ron decided to sleep in only his shorts. However, he made a mental note to throw on a shirt before going down to breakfast the next morning because the last thing he wanted to do was embarrass himself in front of Hermione. It was one thing to walk around shirtless in front of family or at the beach, but another matter entirely to do it in front of company-especially if that company included the girl you fancied.
Ron turned off the lights and crawled into bed, pushing the covers down as he did so. He lay staring up at the dark ceiling for what seemed like ages, but sleep wouldn't come. The house was quiet except for the normal creaks and groans that were commanplace in an old house like the Burrow. The sky outside was pitch black as the moon and stars were obscured by clouds in a most ominous way, unnerving an already uneasy Ron. With Voldemort lurking near by Ron was quite uncomfortable enough and the weather was not helping matters.
I should've asked for some of that dreamless sleep potion, Ron thought miserably as he rolled over on his back. His eyes ached from exhaustion but still sleep would not come.
The minutes ticked by slowly until Ron couldn't take it anymore. A quick glance at the clock told him it was 12:16am.
I should get something to eat, that usually helps.
With a sigh, Ron heaved himself out of bed and padded barefoot across the room to the door. He cracked it open to listen for a moment. Hearing nothing, he proceeded downstairs to the kitchen.
Ron opened the fridge and peered inside. He was still rummaging around when someone coughed from behind him, making him spin around so fast he nearly dropped the pitcher of milk he was holding.
"Guess I wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep," Hermione said with a smile as she walked over.
"Guess not," Ron said.
Hermione's eyes darted lower, lingering for a minute on Ron's bare chest. "Warm night eh?" she sad.
"What?" said a startled Ron, "Oh, yeah..."
Ron suddenly had a strong urge to disappear through the floor as he flushed scarlet with embaressment.
"I'm used to only having family around and mostly being around guys," he said defensively, as he set the milk down on the counter and closed the fridge.
"Well, it's no big deal," Hermione said, "It's just I always thought of you as a bit shy and it surprised me, that's all."
"Shy? Moi?" Ron said in mock surprise.
"Yes you," Hermione said.
"OK, yeah I'm pretty shy sometimes but I've been training for Quidditch and I like shoving off my abs now," Ron said with a grin.
Hermione surveyed him, "Not bad," she said with a smile. "For a skinny guy."
"I am not skinny!" Ron said defensively. "Now Harry, he's skinny-scary skinny even."
"True enough, about Harry I mean," Hermione said, "but you're still pretty skinny. You must have some metabolism because I've seen you eat."
"There's nothing wrong with having a healthy appetite," Ron said with a grin. "Actually I was about to make myself a sandwich, you want one?"
Hermione shrugged, "Sure," she said.
"Take a seat then," Ron said as he indicated a nearby stool. "So what has you awake at this hour?" he asked as he gathered his ingredients.
"Voldemort of course," Hermione replied with a sigh as she settled herself on the stool.
"Do you think he's nearby?"
"Maybe, I'm not sure," Hermione said. "Dumbledore certainly seems to think so and he's usually right about these things."
Ron nodded, "That's for sure."
"I'm worried about Harry too," Hermione continued, "I just hope he doesn't try anything stupid, you know?"
Ron raised his eyebrows. "What? You mean the whole 'hero' thing again?"
Hermione nodded, "You saw what he was like last June when he thought Voldemort had Sirius."
"Yeah, but give the guy a break," Ron said, "He already has enough to deal with because of that."
"I know, I know," Hermione said, "I hope it's kind of knocked some reason into him though."
"So you're blaming Harry for Sirius' death?"
"Not entirely," Hermione said defensively, "I just think that he contributed to it by not staying put. Don't you think so?"
"I'm Harry's best friend," Ron said slowly, as he set down the jar of mayonnaise and looked at Hermione, "and I don't want to say anything bad about him because I know he hasn't had a an easy time. I think that Harry did what any normal person would do-he went to rescue someone who he thought was in danger."
Hermione sighed, "You have a point," she said.
Ron grinned, "What's this?" he said in mock surprise, "Hermione Granger actually admitting that someone else if right and that she might not know everything?"
Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Don't push your luck," she said.
"Alright, alright," Ron said. "Do you think that Dumbledore and Larusso told Harry everything? Because if they did he'll probably tell us."
Hermione frowned as she thought for a moment. "No, I don't think they told him much," she said.
"Why?"
"Because if they tell Harry too much and Voldemort keeps posessing him..." Hermione let the sentence trail off.
"Right," Ron said, "forgot about that."
"I think they told him a little bit though," Hermione said. "They must have, otherwise Harry would've throw a fit."
Ron nodded, "That's for sure," he said, "After Dumbledore kept him in the dark for so long there's no way Harry would let them getaway with not telling him almost everything."
"I get the feeling that even they're stumped about it though," Hermione said. "I think they only know the tip of the iceberg this time because it's not as if they can compare this to other cases because there are no other cases."
"So this is pretty much experimental stuff then?"
"Parts of it are," Hermione said. "I started reading up on curse scars and unusal side effects they cause awhile ago to find out as much as I could. The thing about Harry's is that it actually forged this incredibly strong link between him and Voldemort instead of just a small one. In most cases where a link is formed the link weakens over time but Harry's has only gottan stronger since Voldemort regained his body. It's very complicated because the link is affected by emotion and activity in the brain."
"OK...which means what?"
"The strength of the link changes depending on the different variables involved," Hermione explained.
"Ah, got it."
"And now Voldemort has all that information on Harry and us that he stole from the ministry," Hermione said.
"Wait a minute, I thought that stuff was just statistics and stuff," Ron said.
Hermione shook her head, "No," she said, "It's very detailed information about the person including their strengths and weaknesses."
"That's it?"
"Obviously not but I don't know what else it contains because it's not disclosed to the general public," Hermione said sounding exaspherated.
"Oh."
Ron finished the sandwiches and set one in front of Hermione then walked around and sat beside her with his own sandwich. He watched as Hermione took a bit of her sandwich.
"This is really good Ron," she said, clearly impressed.
"What can I say?" Ron said, "I'm a master chef!"
Hermione laughed, "I don't think one sandwich proves that you're master chef," she said. "Besides, I thought you wanted to be a master Quidditch player."
"I can be both," Ron said simply. "I know how much you like professional Quidditch players though so...."
"If you mean Viktor..." Hermione said warningly.
"Obviously I mean Viktor," Ron said as he rolled his eyes. "How many other professional Quiddicth players do we know?"
"Viktor and I are just friends," Hermione said.
"With privilages?" Ron asked teasingly.
"No!" Hermione said as she slapped his arm.
"Hey! Easy!" Ron said, "I was only kidding! I know you're not like that because you're too nice and proper to be like that."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"Not at all," Ron said. "In fact, most guys prefer nice and proper girls to, well, for lack of better word, sluts."
Hermione stared at him then giggled. "Oh really?" she said, "And which do you prefer?"
"The nice and proper girls obviously," Ron said proudly as he puffed out his chest.
"So...do you have a particular one in mind at the moment?" Hermione asked.
If you only knew, thought Ron.
"Maybe, maybe not."
Hermione looked curious, "Oh really?" she said. "You're not going to tell me who you like?"
"Well are you going to tell me who you fancy?"
"No."
"Then why should I tell you?"
"So I can blackmail you."
"OK, now I'm definitely not telling you," Ron said with a laugh.
They ate in silence for a few minutes.
"So, did you and Viktor ever, you know, kiss and stuff though?" Ron said.
"I hardly think that's any of your business," Hermione said disdainfully.
"Hey, I'm just curious," Ron said. "I'll be honest with you, I've never even tried to kiss a girl which is actually quite pathetic if you think about it. Fred and George find it rather amusing though."
Hermione surveyed him for a moment, as if to see if he was being serious or not. "Well why haven't you?" she asked, "Not that it's any of my business of course, but I might be able to help you figure out a plan to win the heart of that special someone if you give me all the details."
"Well..." Ron said slowly, "I haven't really even been on a date. That Yule Ball thing with Padma was a complete and utter disaster."
"I'll have to agree with you there."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."
"Just helping where I can."
"Anyway, the girl I wanted to go to the ball with already had a date so I just ended up with Padma 'cause Harry got Pavarti to set us up."
"Do you still like this girl?" Hermione asked curiously. "Or do you like someone else now?"
"No, it's the same girl."
"Then why haven't you made a move?"
Ron sighed, "Because I'm scared too," he admitted.
Hermione frowned slightly, "Are you friends with her and are you scared that perhaps asking her out might ruin the friendship if the romance doesn't work?" she asked briskly.
Ron gaped at her, "How do you do that?" he asked.
"Do what?" asked a confused Hermione.
"Know everything!"
"It was just a lucky guess," Hermione said with a shrug. "So let's see then, girls you're friends with....hmmmm, well...."
"Are you going to tell me who you fancy then and why you haven't made a move?" Ron asked in an attempt to distract her.
"I haven't made a move because girls generally don't make the first move," Hermione replied. "I've tried subtle hints but they haven't really worked."
"Well, if he's like me subtle probably doesn't work," Ron said with a laugh.
"Actually I think only one out of every million men understands subtle hints," Hermione said.
"There you go then," Ron said, "That's why you should make the first move."
"But what if...."
"What if what?"
"What if he didn't feel the same way? It's be so embaressing!"
Ron thought a moment, "OK, yeah it would be but people would forget about after awhile and at least you'd know how he felt and, if he didn't feel the same way, you could move on with your life."
"I'm impressed Ron," Hermione said, "You actually sound like you know what you're talking about."
"Actually I'm just repeating what Charlie said to me," Ron admitted.
"I would say I'm surprised but I'm really not," Hermione said with a smile.
"So...are you going to tell me who you fancy now that I've given you first class advice?"
"Not a chance."
"What if I told you who I liked?"
Hermione looked at him, clearly surprised.
"And who would that be exactly?" she asked.
"As if you don't already know," Ron said with a laugh as he shook his head.
Hermione furrowed her brow, "Actually, I'm not all together sure," she said. "There's only really one canidate but she seems so unlikely..."
"Why does she seem unlikely?"
"Just because, well, I can't explain it."
"And why's that?"
"It's just to...to..."
"To what?"
"Yes," said an unfamiliar voice from the doorway, "To what Miss Granger?"
Ron and Hermione spun around to see a figure shrouded in long black robes with a hood that obscured her face from view. She pulled off her hood revealing the face of a woman that was all too famaliar because of her heavily lidded eyes.
I'm evil for having another cliffie chapter, I know but it's already like 9 pages long and I knew that if I didn't stop now I'd get carried away and it would be a 20 page chapter. I should update soon, maybe even Wednesday but we'll see. Anywho, please review because reviews make me happy and I write more faster! Ciao for now peoples!
-Megan
P.S. I tried some fluff but I got frustrated with it because it was all corny and junk so I reverted back to my usual style. I think it's a pretty decent chapter (considering I'm finishing it at 11 o'clock at night) so I'm pretty happy with it. In other words-if you flame I will make you pay. I'm not joking. I will actually destroy you in my crazy sugar induced story. MUHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW!!! So anyway, this is a prime example of why I should not write serious stuff late at night when I'm tired.