hey all, been a couple weeks and such. Cimmy and I have both had writer's block, and school has been messing up our lives lately. yes, we know it sucks. but we've got a few chapters done, starting with this one. read and review, ok?
-Kristine and Cimmy
disclaimer: Ducks and Disney World belong to Disney. Fred and Cecilia belong to Cimmy. Lex, Jeff, Anthony, Anna, Matt, Chris, and Sammie belong to NYgoldfish54.
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Chapter 29: Crazy For This Girl
By Cimmy and NYgoldfish54
Anthony's POV
I've decided to go ask Cecilia if she wants to hang out with me today. I had so much fun yesterday with her, when we were alone all afternoon, without the rest of our friends. This is my last chance to spend some time with her, now when she's leaving with Fred. It pains me that she's taking off with him. I wish she could stay.
So I'm going to swallow my pride and go knock on her door. At first I think no one's there, because it takes forever until I hear a sound. Uh-oh, I hope I'm not intruding on some special moment. Like the one I stumbled into yesterday between Charlie and Lex. God, I'll kill myself if I have to picture Cecilia with Fred the same way I saw Lex... No, I can't even think it.
Fred opens, and he looks like he just woke up. "Yeah?"
"Hi." Okay, what do I say now? I can't tell him that I'd like to spend the day with his girlfriend, just so I can dream about her some more when she eventually leaves me.
But I don't need to explain; Fred rubs his eyes and yawns in my face. "Oh, you're looking for Cecilia. Wait, I'll get her." He doesn't sound as suspicious and jealous as he did earlier. "Come in, she's almost ready."
Ready for what? I reluctantly follow him inside, closing the door behind me. Fred falls back into the double-sized bed and crawls under the blankets. Then he realizes that he hasn't called for Cecilia, so he lifts his head up. "Hey, you have a visitor!"
"What?" Cecilia's voice is coming from the bathroom. "Who is it?"
Fred refuses to answer; I think he's asleep already. Cecilia comes dashing out, grabbing the doorframe to stop herself. Then she smiles when she sees me. "Anthony! What are you doing here?" she exclaims, climbing over the bed to get to me. I think she stepped on Fred's hand, because he's whimpering from under the layers of blankets. "Sorry."
It looks like she's been preparing herself to go out, without Fred, because she's dressed and he isn't. "I was wondering if you'd like to join me into town again. I have some free time before we go to the ceremony later. You wanna come?"
"Yeah!" she shouts. Fred whimpers some more. "Don't mind him, he's grumpy when he's woken up."
"No, you hurt me when you stepped on my arm."
"I said sorry," she replies, skipping back to the bed, crouching down so she can look under it. "Where's my shoe?"
"On your foot."
"The other one."
"Take another pair. Oh, right, you only wear that pair. You know it's summer, right? But hell, you wore those sneakers all winter too, if I remember it correctly. Is that the only pair you have?" Fred mumbles, his head under the pillow, clutching it with his right arm. "I'll gladly donate some money so you can buy some new shoes."
Cecilia looks up, taps him over the head with her newfound shoe and he whimpers again. Then she climbs over him, to the other side of the bed and grabs her jacket from the floor. It's hot outside, I don't understand why she keeps insisting to wear a jacket all the time. When she hurries back, she takes the opportunity to smack Fred's bottom.
"Ouch, my bum," he grunts, still from under the pillow.
"Oh, your butt is fine, don't whine. I'll be back later. Bye, Fred."
"Om du inte kommer tillbaka kommer jag att skicka polisen efter dig," he mutters. What did he just say? I hope it wasn't an insult. I might have to say something clever back. [If you don't come back, I'll send the police after you.]
Cecilia just giggles, grabbing my hand to drag me out. Before she shuts the door, she just has to reply. "Kryp tillbaka under filten, om du är snäll kanske jag köper en kaka åt dig på vägen hem. Eller lite sprit." Something hits the door, and she quickly closes it and stares at me. "He got mad." [Crawl back under the blanket, if you're nice, I'll bring you back at cookie on the way home. Or some liquor.]
"Maybe you shouldn't tease him?" I suggest.
"Ah, he'll get over it. He's just sour because I woke him up too early. Like I had a choice, we're sharing a bed. It's not like I can leave without him noticing."
"Thanks for the mental image. Can we leave now?"
"It's nothing like that!" she laughs. "We didn't sleep together, we just... eh, slept together. Besides, he was too upset last night to care about anything. I think it's the Lex/Charlie thing that's making him sulk. He's pathetic, really. I had to get up so I could... Well, I was going to find you, truthfully."
Since when is she the talkative one? I don't think she's said this much all vacation. Except... I think she just doesn't talk when there are more then three people around her…because we were talking yesterday, and she contributed quite nicely to the conversation.
"Well, we think alike," I point out. We head down the stairs, leaving the hotel. "Where do you wanna go?"
"Wherever. We went shopping yesterday, so maybe we could go do something else today?"
"You wanna see a movie?" I ask. Say no, it's too hot to be inside a movie theater right now. Although, she would be sitting close. Say yes.
Cecilia starts skipping on the spot, pointing at the bus. "Could we decide when we get there?"
So, she was going to find me? I'm flattered. Boyfriend is being pathetic, so she runs to me. I should move to Minneapolis. I guess she's jumping around me because she had a good time yesterday. I had too. Spending some time alone with her was definitely one of the best ideas I've had in a long time.
While we're looking around in town, after the bus has let us off, I decide to say something. After spending two days with her, I'm convinced I'm falling in love. Maybe not. I have to figure that out today. She's leaving tomorrow.
"Helvete. We should eat, I'm hungry," she exclaims.
"Excuse me? What was that first thing you said?"
"Uh, nothing. Food, please?"
"Not until you tell me what the word meant," I smile.
Cecilia just shrugs. "Nothing special. You know, I'm trying to stop curse, so you can't make me say it." She takes my hand and almost tears my arm off while she's pointing at a restaurant. "Food, please!"
"Yeah, alright! Let go of my arm."
Not only do I plan to come up with a conversation, I also plan on buying her food. Like a date, with the exception that she won't know it's a date. Only I know, but I can pretend she knows. Am I starting to sound pathetic too?
"What do ya want?" I ask.
"I think I want pizza," she says, looking up from her menu. We only grabbed those so we could look cool while deciding what to get. The waiter threw us a suspicious glance when we strolled in. Luckily, I have enough money so I can pay. He doesn't have to hyperventilate.
"You only want pizza? You know, I'm not completely broke. You could order something more... I don't know, expensive?"
"I like pizza," she explains, putting down the menu. This of course makes the waiter attack our table immediately. He gets his pen ready to scribble down our order. Cecilia tilts her head to the side and gazes at me. Oh, I'm the one who should order for her? I she that intimidated by people?
Anthony, be a gentleman. You're not with your friends now. This could be a prospect girlfriend. Or maybe not. But behave, no matter what. I place our orders and Cecilia puts her elbows on the table, gazing at me. What?
"What?" I wonder out loud.
"Nothing. I was just thinking... Are you mad because Fred was mean to Lex?"
"Don't worry about it. It's all in the past now. He did save Sammie, so he's even out the score."
"He owes you a punch."
"What?"
"You punched him."
"I told him I was sorry."
"Doesn't matter. I shoved at him a little too, that day," she smiles into her napkin. "But it was an accident. I would've shoved harder if I'd known he was going to screw with Lex."
Back to the old tale about Lex and Fred. This sucks. We should be able to talk about something else but her boyfriend and my ex. Yesterday was a huge exception, obviously. We really shared, and we really had a good time together.
"He didn't screw her," I point out, getting a bit agitated by her talking. "The only one who's getting screwed here are you."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"He's taking advantage of you, making your head spin. And you're too naive to realize that he's hurting you," I mutter. Whoa, where did all this come from?
Cecilia bites her lip and looks both thoughtful, as well as betrayed. I don't know why she would feel betrayed; I just told her the truth. "I'm not naive," she mumbles. "And I want to be with Fred. He takes care of me."
"You're a big girl. You can take care of yourself," I say. I could take care of her just as well as Fred. Why doesn't she understand? Do I have to scream it before she gets it? Oh, Anthony, don't scream. That won't look good.
She folds her napkin and puts it on top of the glass. Then she takes it down and does the same routine again. Answer. Just say something, please. Anything. But she doesn't. She's smothering the conversation with her silence. I have to resort to an apology. "Look, Cecilia..."
Maybe she was just waiting for me to say something more, to break the silence? Because she interrupts me the minute I open my mouth. "Maybe I'm just too good at ending up in fucked up situations. Fred is usually the one saving me. He's never done anything like this before. He's the responsible one. I'm the immature adolescent. If he didn't tell me what to do, I'd be really screwed right now. In more ways then one."
Our food arrives and disturbs her ranting. She starts eating, and I watch as she's picking off the vegetables. "We don't have to talk about him."
"No, we better not. Hey, Anthony?"
"Yeah?"
"I really enjoy spending time with you. You're a really good friend. I haven't met anyone like you before. And I admit that I'm a bit jealous of Lex because she gets all the fun. She wraps Fred around her finger just like that, and she dated you. Now she has Charlie, and he just yells at me. Plus, she's beautiful, and she can sing. She's practically everything I'm not. I just wish I could have you for myself. But I can't even have that."
Yes, you can have me. I'm all yours. Take me? No, I can't say that. "Could you shut up for one minute?" I smile. "You didn't talk like this yesterday. Lex is great, but so are you. What she and I had was a long time ago. She's just my friend. A very good friend, and if you got to know her..."
"I know her. We went to school together all year. She's my friend too. I hope she is, anyway. Could we get off the subject? My butt is falling asleep."
"Excuse me?" I laugh.
She just grins, taking a slice of pizza in her hand and tries to eat it in one bite. She's entertaining. No manners, but funny. "Not a fan of chewing?"
"Well, I'm a busy girl. Don't have time for such irrelevant things as chewing," she snickers. "I swallow."
"That sounded nasty."
"I know. I would rephrase it, but I can't turn back time. Just go with it."
"Sure."
Cecilia seems a bit embarrassed when she looks down into her plate, mumbling something incomprehensible. I have to learn that language. What was the country again? I wonder where she's really from? Why don't I just ask her? She's just across the table.
She's reading my mind again, because she puts down her fork on the plate, clearing her throat. "Did you know that this tastes just like the pizza at home?"
"Do they have pizza there?" I ask. Now I sound stupid. I sound like Fred. Okay, now I sound evil. Hehe.
"Of course! Don't they have pizza everywhere?" she replies, bouncing up and down. Okay, food makes her excited. I'll try to really remember that this time.
The pizza talk makes her forget my little attack on her boyfriend. Or maybe I just didn't say that out loud? "Yeah, they probably do. Like with Chinese food. I don't know why I asked."
"You know, it's like in that movie. What's the name...? Oh, Fucking Åmål."
"Fucking o-what?" She hasn't cursed like this at all since we met. I thought she was supposed to be well-mannered. But she's more fun this way.
"It's this movie, with these two girls who are lesbians, and one of them has a boyfriend. We're like them, but without the lesbian part. Actually, I think that movie is funny. That girl is so cool. I wish I was her. But not a lesbian. Although, you never know..."
While I'm laughing at her statement, without trying to understand what she means, we finish our meals and step out into the sunlight again. We start walking, without having a particular destination in mind. Cecilia keeps spinning around me, holding my hand. People probably assume she's my girlfriend. I hope they are.
We stumble upon some sort of flea market, and Cecilia starts bouncing again. "Let's go look. Maybe I can find something for my Mom. She turned 43 just the other day."
"That old, huh?"
"She's not old," Cecilia states, making it clear that I've crossed some sort of line. Actually, I know nothing about her family. I haven't asked.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. It was just a comment."
"Nevermind. I didn't mean to get all worked up. It's just that... You know, you can't adopt a child unless you're 25. Or 26. So she didn't have much of a choice. I think."
"You're adopted?"
"Sort of. Yeah, I am. But that doesn't matter, does it?"
"Of course not. You have any siblings?"
"Two older brothers. And one younger. Do you?"
Oh, sharing. I've managed to get her to share. "Two younger sisters."
"Cool. What are their names?"
"Rachel and Rebecca," I say, smiling at the thought of the two little girls who were so excited when they found out they were coming down here.
"Are your parents young?" she suddenly asks. I don't know if it's payback because of my earlier input, or if she's just out of questions to ask.
"I don't know. Middle-aged, I guess. I don't know."
"Fred's parents are young. They had him when they were 17."
So we're back to the subject of Fred. How do I allure her away from here? "That's young. You know what else is young? This cookie. You want a cookie?"
"Not a fan of Fred, I presume?"
"It's that obvious?"
Cecilia grabs the 'young' cookie and starts munching away. She eats a lot. She weighs like…nothing…which I get to experience in person when she leaps onto my back, so I can carry her. "My feet hurt. And you're strong, aren't you, Anthony?"
"Well, I am right now. Are you happy now?"
"Thrilled. I'm having a blast. Adam would only double over. For being the best player on the ice, he's surprisingly easy to knock over. But he's quite strong when he has his skates on. Much stronger then me. So I leave him alone out on the ice."
"Maybe his strength is in his skates?"
"Or maybe he's just not custom to standing on real ground? He's mostly out on the ice. He lives there. But seriously, he is freakishly strong. It's scary. And if it was Charlie, he'd dump me off in some mud or something. I hate when he gets all big brotherly on me. He's a freak too."
I carry her around, while she's slapping my shoulders whenever she wants to change the direction. "You know, you could just ask me."
"I know, but this is so much more fun. Roligt så in i helvete."
"You said that word again."
"Could you put me down?" she begs, moving around so I have to drop her down on the grass. "Did I hurt your back? Fred just tosses me around whenever he gets tired of transporting me all over the world."
"A weak sucker, huh?"
She slaps my arm, chuckling. "He's strong, just not Anthony strong. You're my hero."
Why did that make me all dizzy? "Maybe we should go see that movie anyway?" If I'm in the dark, she wouldn't see me love her so much. Like, I mean.
"Or we could go to the beach. They have sharks here, I want to spot one."
"I think we have to go somewhere else besides to the beach to see them."
"I was just kidding. Sharks scare me. Cookies don't. I'll go get another one."
"You want some money?" I offer.
"I'm not broke, Anthony. I'm just like you." Ouch, another issue I should stay clear off. I'm not sure, but I suspect she's feeling inadequate because Fred has money, and she doesn't, because she can't be that wealthy. Not to be mean, but she doesn't wear anything that gives off the impression of wealth.
She rushes away towards the cookies, leaving me alone with her belongings. Or at least that ragged backpack she's refusing to go anywhere without. I have to go through it. I'm curious. She only has uninteresting stuff. The only thing I notice is that her cell phone looks rather expensive.
"Fred gave me that."
Uh-oh, busted.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to snoop around. I was looking for... gum?"
"It's okay," she smiles. "I got that for my fourteenth birthday. I never use it, because I'm afraid I'll loose it or break it. I told him not to buy me anything dyrt. But he just did anyway."
"'Dyrt'? What's that?"
"Oh, expensive. Sorry. I do that sometimes. I should teach you some Swedish. It could come in use," she laughs.
I nod. "You should."
"Just kidding."
"No, seriously, teach me. I promise to... I don't know. I'll save a dance for you later."
"You've already promised me that."
"Oh. Another cookie?"
"Fine."
We both lie down on the grass, looking up at the sky. It's a clear blue day. Sunny and shit. Far too lovely. It would be perfect, if she'd only been my girlfriend for real. Man, I just can't let that go, can I?
She keeps ranting random things for me to repeat, and I'm just speaking without paying much attention to what I'm really saying. Until she sits up and slaps her hand into my stomach. "Hey, you know what?"
"Besides from severe internal bleeding?" I moan.
"We should head down to the beach anyway."
"More surfing?" I tease.
"No, I want to see if there are any shells. My Mom loves those. I want to give her one. Or several. Come on!" she exclaims, getting up. No, I'm too comfortable here. Don't wanna. But then she pouts at me, looking adorable. Damn.
This time, she doesn't run. She holds my hand, her fingers brushing against my skin. My God, Anthony, it's just holding hands. Not making out. Although, I wouldn't mind...no, Nicholson, you ass, focus.
We walk through the sand, away from the market. Then she forces me to pick around for those shells. I don't know why I'm doing it. She's just giggling, kicking sand at me. So I kick back. Until we both start throwing sand instead of searching for whatever it was. I consider tossing her into the ocean, but I change my mind. Think of the mess.
I wrestle her down in the sand, and she tries to get away. Then she laughs, putting her hand on my cheek. "What happened to the platonic friendship?"
I know she's joking, but I get a weird feeling anyway. "Uh, sorry."
"Hey, I was kidding, honey. But I think I found a shell."
Honey? "Yes, I think I'm lying on several."
"No, that would be me."
"Sorry."
She wipes some sand off my face, smiling. "What's your last name?"
What a weird question to ask. Shouldn't she know that by now? But I don't recall knowing about her last name either... "It's Nicholson."
"Like the actor?"
"I guess. What's yours?"
"It's stupid. You know, you're a great guy. Lex was lucky to have you. Why did you break up?"
Ouch, we're getting into the heavy subjects. Well, I could always ask something major back if I answer this. But still... "Has Lex ever told you about her Dad?"
"Sort of. Well, not me personally, but I know."
"While we were going out, her Dad didn't really like me. Well, he disliked me a whole lot, actually. And that was before she had the guts and emotional strength to stand up to him, so we broke up."
"So if it hadn't been for her father, you'd still be together?" she replies, looking horrified for some reason.
"Probably not, I mean, it wasn't all that serious. You go out with people, sometimes a lot of people."
"I don't," she objects. What did I say wrong this time? "I've only been with Fred."
"Thanks, I know. Haven't you broken up once?"
Cecilia starts to shift underneath me, and I'm painfully reminded that I'm lying on top of her. I'm too close. I should move. "Of course, but we never dated other people. And we only break up for a day or two."
"That's healthy."
"Hey, it's none of our business how we do things! And Fred would never leave me because of some stupid fear of his father," she snarls. Now we're getting out of hand. And she's attacking Lex, only instead of physically, it's verbally this time.
"Maybe his father doesn't beat him black and blue all the fucking time. So it's not the same, Cecilia," I snap. I don't know why she's so upset, but she gets tears in her eyes. Maybe I shouldn't yell?
Her reply comes out as yelling too, so I'm not the only angry one. "Yes, he does! He does too! So you shouldn't talk like Lex is the only victim, because she's not!"
"What? What does he do? Who does?"
"Fred's Dad does beat him, but no one knows about that, because he doesn't tell the world. He doesn't want any sympathy, but I know. Because I've seen how he looks when he comes back from home. So fuck you, Anthony, go to hell if you're gonna hold that against him."
"I'm not holding it against him! But damn you all to hell if you're gonna be calling Lex a coward! She's not even half her father's size! At least Fred can get away!"
"What would you know about it? Huh? Maybe he can't! Maybe he's afraid too! Maybe he puts up with it to save his brothers. Don't judge him!"
"Has Fred ever been beaten so badly that he's been found lying on the kitchen floor in the same position two days later!? Lex almost never woke up that time! Lay off her!"
"I wouldn't know, because he never tells me anything! He's just fucking miserable all the fucking time. He's not even himself anymore. He's just... He keeps drinking, and messing, and yelling at me for no reason. I wish he could stop that. I wish the yelling would just fucking stop!" she cries, tears rolling down her face. They hit the sand, making small marks.
This makes me calm down a bit. I didn't mean for her to start cry. "Well, I can't make the yelling stop...why are we yelling, anyway? Why don't we both stop yelling? Cause we're so close you're hurting my head."
"Promise you won't use this against him. Because if you do that, I can't do much else but hate you. Just because he gets abused doesn't give you the right to use that against him because you don't like him. So please don't, it's not fair. I do feel bad for Lex, and I don't hold that against her, and neither should you do to Fred."
"I'm not! I didn't know, I swear to God. I'm sorry, I really didn't know," I assure her. It's true. I'm sorry. I just hate it so much when she goes after Lex the way she does sometimes. I love Lex so much, along with the others, and I just hafta stick up for them. I mean, Lex didn't even do anything this time. I was the one who made her angry, why is she taking it out on Lex and not me? I had no idea Fred was abused, or is abused, and even if I'd known, I never would've used that against him. No matter how angry I was. Somehow I feel sorry for him. I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I always hate when Lex gets treated bad, and if Fred has to go through even half the amount of beatings, I can't help but feel bad for him. I'm a good person, and no one deserves to live like that.
Cecilia sighs deeply. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said that. He doesn't want anyone to know. Don't say anyting, 'key?"
"Jag lovar." [I promise.]
"Hey, you talked in Swedish!"
I lean forward and kiss her on the cheek. "We shouldn't fight," I suggest. "Let's just forget the whole thing. I'm sorry, you're sorry. That's it. No hard feelings."
"Wow, it's that easy?" she mumbles. I grin, knowing that her version of a fight is a bit more violent then this…and probably a lot longer.
We really resemble a couple now. We've had our first fight, and we survived. And our first kiss, but... Okay, I'm going to count that as a real kiss. Even if it wasn't. Hey, it's my dream. I can do whatever I want.
We roll around in the sand for a while longer, messing around. Not messing like that, just... messing. When I'm finally done tickling the life out of her, I pick her up and we both start to jump up and down to get rid of the sand. "This is fun," she cheers, leaping into my arms again. "You wanna grab some dinner? It's almost 1:45. I'm starving."
"You just ate!" I laugh.
"Pretty please? I'll love you forever."
Okay then. "Sure."
She looks a bit confused, she probably just realized what she said, so I don't wait for any apologizing rant from her side. Instead I take her hand again, because I like holding it, and we go look for some diner. When she's eaten a hamburger, God knows how she managed to do that, she's content and drags me along to the street where all the stores are located.
I hope she won't shop for more clothes. Not that she spent too much time in there yesterday, but it was a pain to have to wait for her, and then look at her wearing all those outfits. I had to say something, except from drooling. I don't know why it got to me, because when I think about it, she's not that sexy. Now I'm being mean again. She's got some more down-to-earth look going on. Not even natural beauty. Just... she's special, simple as that.
Her legs are too. Oh, I'm getting off the subject.
"Where are we going?"
"I have to buy my Mom a card. Wait here."
She leaves me to entertain myself. I expect her to be gone for about half an hour, but she comes bouncing back just five minutes later. "That was fast."
"Yep, I didn't want to look around."
"Utmärkt." [Excellent.]
"Look, you're learning. But you pronounced it wrong."
"I've only been speaking Swedish for what, two hours? Give me some credit!"
"Let's head back home."
Sounds good. I have a feeling we've been gone for too long. Fred must be climbing the walls. I hope he is. We get on the bus, but this time there are a lot more people on it. The crowded environment makes Cecilia edgy, and she crawls up into my lap. "You don't mind, do you?"
"No, don't think so. Did you write something nice in that card for Mommy? Or should I say 'mamma'?"
"You're learning way too fast. Say mama."
"Eh?"
"Sorry, inside joke. I should invite you home for Christmas. You'd love it."
That would be nice.
"That would be nice, yeah."
She leans her head on my shoulder, sighing. "Haven't been home for a while. I miss Mommy…and Daddy."
"How bout your brothers?"
"Sure, I miss them too. But nothing compares to your parents, right? I wonder what David and Marcus are doing? Probably chasing girls…or torturing their friends…or getting laid. Yuck, why did I bring that up?"
I just smile. "And the little one?"
"Dying, preferably."
I don't have time to ask why her brother deserves to die, because we're back at the hotel. Or at the bus stop in front of it, anyway. Cecilia tears herself away from me, still clutching my hand.
Never let go. Please don't let go.
I'm reminded by some song. I can't really remember where I've heard it, or what it's called. But I can't get it out of my mind. When she's gazing at me with those brown, affectionate eyes, I can't help but wish that she was my girlfriend. That she was mine to look after. I could love her just as well as Fred can. I could take care of her. Make her smile. Sleep next to her, make her feel good.
But she doesn't notice me that way. And even if she does, Fred is still there. She loves him. It's obvious. But I still can't get that melody out of my mind.
"she rolls the window down
and she talks over the sound
of the cars that pass us by
and I don't know why
but she's changed my mind
would you look at her?
she looks at me
she's got me thinking about her constantly
but she don't know how I feel
and as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl
yeah, I'm crazy for this girl
she was the one to hold me
the night the sky fell down
and what was I thinking when
the world didn't end
why didn't I know what I know now?
would you look at her?
she looks at me
she's got me thinking about her constantly
but she don't know how I feel
and as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl
yeah, I'm crazy for this girl
right now
face to face
all my fears
pushed aside
and right now
I'm ready to spend the rest of my life
with you
would you look at her?
she looks at me
she's got me thinking about her constantly
but she don't know how I feel
and as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl
yeah, I'm crazy for this girl."
And Cecilia lets go of my hand, letting me enter the doors first. I'm crazy about her. Why can't I tell her I am?
She's leaving tomorrow. This was my last chance. We won't have another chance to be on our own anymore. I won't get to hold her hand, or be close to her. I'm such a coward. And she's leaving and I'll never see her face again. Or her legs. I won't get to spend time with her. I won't even get to bicker with her. She's leaving for good.
And that's it.
***
Julie's POV (starts slightly earlier)
"Where are Anthony and Cecilia!?" Matt rages as he does up the last button his shirt, and comes flying down the stairs.
"Relax, Matt, relax," Sammie soothes, putting her hand on his shoulder.
"They're going to make us late!" Matt continues howling.
"Anna!" Jeff calls from next to me, "help me with this damn tie!"
"What are you trying to do, Jeff? Strangle yourself?" Anna smiles, as she fixes the knot he's managed to tie around his neck.
I feel a twinge of jealousy. He could have asked me, I'd have fixed it for him. But he's not paying attention to me, like he has the whole trip, and I guess I could stand not being his focus for five minutes.
We're all standing around, waiting to going to this ceremony, to find out how well Jeff and his friends did at their concert, and if they won. They seem more nervous now than they did before the concert, at least from what I can see.
"Lex!" Chris bellows up the stairs, "Are you coming!?"
"Coming," Lex says, appearing at the top of the stairs and starting to come down. On around the third step down, though, she trips. Fortunately, Fulton, who was heading up the stairs to get something he dropped, caught her before she fell down the whole flight.
"Whoa, slow down there, wild child!" Fulton laughs.
"Ouch…thanks, Fulton," Lex mumbles, then smiles up at him.
"No problem," he grins, letting her go.
"Where's Anthony?" Lex asks, getting down the stairs without further incident.
"We don't know," Matt says through gritted teeth and a voice of forced calm, "he's not back yet."
"Where'd he go, anyway?" asks Guy.
"Shopping or something…" Jeff says, checking his watch. "Dammit, Anthony, where are you?"
"Right here," says Anthony, walking through the door with Cecilia right behind him.
"About damn time! Go up and change! We're gonna be late!" Matt shouts, losing all control of his temper.
"Late for what?" Anthony asks. I think Matt would have strangled Anthony had Sammie not jumped on his back and pulled him backward. Anthony's eyes went wide with understanding as he watched Sammie hold onto Matt. "Oh shit!" he swears, turning to run up the stairs. "I totally fucking forgot!"
"What a surprise," Chris mumbles, rolling his eyes.
"You should change into something too. You know, something clean," Connie says to Cecilia.
"Oh," she says. "Hey, Anthony, wait up!" and she follows him up the stairs. He waits for her at the top, and then they head for their rooms.
"Damn that guy and his crushes," Jeff mumbles, and I giggle. He smiles guiltily and says, "I didn't really mean that. Not really."
"I know," I tell him. He loves Anthony like a brother. He talks about his friends all the time.
"You know, Julie," he says, taking my hands, "I really like you, and I've really gotten to know you on this trip. I love spending time with you, and I was just wondering if you'd like to-"
"Save it for after we win, Jeff," says Anna, grinning. Damn! He was gonna ask me to be his girlfriend, I know it! Dammit Anna! Dammit fucking bullshit ass! I love swearing. It makes me feel better…except I don't do it much, because at school you get yourself in trouble that way.
"Ready, let's go," Anthony appears at my side. He's changed from his t-shirt and jeans to a pair of khakis and a button down shirt.
"We have to wait for Cecilia!" Fred speaks up for the first time, looking alarmed.
"Relax, Fred, we wouldn't leave without her," Anna smiles.
"Yes, we will if she takes much longer!" Matt exclaims.
"No, we won't," Anna says, glaring daggers at Matt.
Matt looks like he's going to cry two minutes later when Cecilia finally comes down the stairs. "Great, she's here, let's go!"
"Sorry I kept you, let's go," Cecilia says.
"How long will this take?" Adam asks.
"Uh…no clue, really. It can't take that long. I mean, only a few hours at most," Chris says, shrugging.
"Matt," Sammie says, "Carry me. I'm tired."
"You should have gone to bed earlier, then."
"Please carry me, Matt."
"We're only walking to the bus."
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
Finally Matt picks her up and throws her over his shoulder, careful to make sure his shoulder is digging into her stomach.
"Ouch! Matt, you jackass, that hurts!" Sammie wails.
He ignores her, and continues walking. She eventually pinches him, and they start to bicker. We follow them out toward the bus.
Charlie puts his arm around Lex, dropping a light kiss on her head. Lex looks at Chris, who rolls his eyes, and Lex laughs. Jeff puts his arm around me, and grins really big at Anthony, who now rolls his eyes.
"Sure, Delricci, rub it in," Anthony mumbles, walking by us and catching up with Luis and Goldberg.
On the bus, I sit down next to Jeff, and Portman and Fulton are on the other side of the isle. Connie and Guy are behind us, and Luis and Goldberg are behind Portman and Fulton.
I can hear Averman talking to Anna in the seat diagonally in front of us, all about hockey.
"I play center and sometimes right wing," Averman tells her.
"Cool. I like hockey," Anna says. "What position does Banksie play? Isn't he supposed to be the best or something?"
"Yeah, he's the best, and he plays center…usually first line."
"What's your favorite pro-team?"
"The Minnesota Northstars."
"They're not the Northstars anymore, though, right?"
"No, they went down to Dallas. So really, I guess my favorite team is technically the Dallas Stars. But I don't call them that. I still call them the Minnesota Northstars," Averman says. "Mike Modano still plays for them, and he's my favorite player."
"Cool," I hear Anna say.
"Yeah. I met him once. Coach Bombay took us to meet them in pee-wees."
That conversation continues for a while. Jeff is looking out the window. He looks kind of tired.
"What's up?" I ask him.
"Sammie! Sit still!" I hear Matt say.
"Eh? Oh. Nothing, really, why?" Jeff replies, looking at me.
"You look a little out of it."
"I am a little out of it. Tired, really, that's all."
"Hey, Sammie, cut it out!" Chris's voice drifts to the front of the bus.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm just tired," he says, looking away from me and back out the window.
"OUCH! MATT MCDOUGAL, YOU JACKASS!" comes Sammie's hollering voice. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"
Everyone turns around to look at Matt, who's got Sammie in a headlock.
"A public service," Matt says, grinning at all of us. "Why are you all looking at me like that? She wouldn't sit still!"
This seems to be acceptable for everyone, and they turn back to what they were doing without going to Sammie's aid. Sammie is now laughing as Matt's holding her while Chris tickles her.
Lex gets up from her seat beside Charlie, directly in front of us.
"Where are you going?" he asks her.
"Behind us. Don't worry, I'll be back," she says, and walks the two steps over to where I'm sitting.
"Julie, do you mind if I talk to Jeff for a minute or two?"
"Go ahead."
"Alone?"
"Uh…" I'm about to say no, that I really don't want to move and be away from Jeff, but Jeff isn't staring out the window anymore, doesn't look tired all of a sudden, so I finish my 'uh,' with "Yeah, sure."
I take the seat Lex was occupying in front of me, and Lex sits down behind. I try very hard to eavesdrop. Wow, I sound like a real bitch. But I'm not. Just curious.
"Hey, Jeff."
"What do you want, Lex?" Jeff asks, sounding annoyed.
"What
do you mean 'what do you want'? I want to talk to you."
"About what?"
"You know about what. I owe you an explanation, don't I?"
"You bet your life you do."
"I know I did something that you don't really approve of, Jeff, and I'm really sorry. I was drunk, ya know?"
"This happened more than once though, didn't it?"
"Well, yeah, but-"
"Were you drunk then, too?"
"Well, no, but-"
"Then I really want to know why you didn't tell me. You're my best friend, and it's my job to take care of you, you know that. It's the one promise I really, truly keep in life, ever since, ya know, that time…"
No, Jeff, I don't know. What time? I notice Charlie listening from besides me.
"Yeah, but I didn't need to be taken care of this time," Lex says.
"Lex, do you know how bad you looked when I found you?" Jeff asks.
"Found me?" Lex snorts, "You broke in."
"Blood everywhere," Jeff continues without bothering to acknowledge what Lex says, "bruises! You were lying on the kitchen floor for two days! You need to be taken care of sometimes!"
"But this time, I knew what I was doing, I was happy, it felt good, what's the problem?" Lex says, sounding upset. At this Charlie smiles, but Jeff's voice comes before I can elbow him.
"That is the problem, you dumbass, you don't know what you're doing! You wouldn't be beaten within inches of your life if you did! You're too young for shit like this!" Jeff says loudly, drawing attention from Anthony, Fred, and Cecilia. Fred and Cecilia are in the seats in front of Charlie and me, Cee on the isle and Fred by the window. Anthony is across from them.
"Jeff, I'm only two months younger than you, and could you please stop talking about that time, please?" Lex sounds like she's trying to be rational, and on the verge of panic.
I notice Anthony and Cecilia listening carefully, while Fred looks a little lost. Anthony throws a look at Cecilia here. Hmm, I wonder why? Cecilia mouths, 'Jeff found her?' and Anthony nods. Wow, those two must have shared something huge recently.
"It doesn't matter! You're only fifteen and in way over your head! What if you catch something from him!? What if you get pregnant!? Did you use a condom, at least!?" Jeff yells, not bothering to keep his voice down anymore.
"What do you take us for!? Idiots!? Yes, we used a condom! And Charlie doesn't have anything, as it was his first time too!" Lex shouts back.
Charlie, Anthony, Fred, Cecilia, and I aren't the only ones listening anymore. Matt and Chris stop torturing Sammie, and the three of them look towards us. Anna stands to get a better view. All the Ducks are listening now, too. What is with our group and public yelling, screaming, and brawls?
I find it interesting that when Lex speaks she refers to herself and to Charlie, and when Jeff speaks, he says 'you' and not 'you guys' or 'both of you'. It implies he thinks the whole thing is Lex's fault, which of course it's not. I'm not really biased either way; it's none of my business anyway. If I was biased it would be for Charlie. But hey, it's sex. It takes two to tango.
"So fucking what, Lex!? Are you trying to get yourself into trouble!? Cause that's right where you're headed!" Jeff hollers.
"Who are you!? My brother Robbie!? What I do in the bedroom is none of your business! Do I go lecturing you about what you do with Julie!? And whenever I do ask you anything, you clam up and don't tell me! How am I supposed to be a good friend to you when you won't tell me anything!?" Lex yells. Hey, hey, hey. Why bring me into this?
"This isn't about me! And I never did anything with Julie! You're the one who just jumped into bed with someone! Not me!"
Chris has come over. "Come on guys, cut it out."
"I didn't do anything!" Lex whines. "This is Jeff being an overprotective, jealous freak!"
"Overprotective, jealous freak, huh?" Jeff's voice is deadly quiet, and has lost its anger.
"Yes," Lex says, her voice now quiet as well.
"Sorry I care, Lexie, sorry I care. Next time, I'll just let you get beaten, or screwed, or whatever the hell else you get yourself into, and not do a damn thing. Cecilia can take your head off, Fred or Charlie can screw you over, your dad can hit you, you can get HIV, and I won't do a damn thing. I won't care at all," Jeff says, and looks out the window again.
Lex sounds like she's going to cry now. "No, Jeff, I'm sorry, please, Jeff, don't be mad at me, please." He doesn't answer, and continues gazing out the window. Lex starts crying. Not sobbing, but tears running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Jeff, really I am. Please don't be angry with me, Jeff, I want you to care. Please, Jeff…"
He looks at her again, and there are tears in his eyes now too. "I'm not angry at you. I just worry about you," he pulls her out of the seat and into his arms. "I couldn't just not care, Lex, even if I wanted to, you know that. I just worry because…well, you do dumb shit sometimes."
"I'm sorry," she mumbles, crying into his shoulder still.
"I know. That's all I needed to hear. I don't mind you slept with Charlie, anyway," he smiles.
She looks up at him. "You don't?"
"No, of course not! You were after him for long enough anyway!" he smiles. "I was just annoyed that Adam and Cecilia found out before I did. Could you tell me, first, next time, please?"
"Yeah, I think I can do that. I'm really sorry, Jeff," she says, hugging him.
"It's alright," he smiles.
For a moment, nobody says anything. Then Lex looks at Jeff again, and they both start laughing. Nothing's funny, but the both of them are hysterically laughing.
"What the hell…?" Russ's voice was puzzled.
"I don't get it either," says Fred.
"Do you ever get anything?" Luis asks. Fred? Get things? Not usually, no.
"He's not the only one lost," says Goldberg. "I'm a little confused myself. What just happened?"
"Yeah," Dwayne says. "What's up with y'all?"
"We had a fight," Jeff smiles.
"Shouldn't you be upset or something?" Adam asks.
"Not for long," Lex smiles, wiping tears from her eyes. This time, though, they're tears of laughter.
"Wow, those are much shorter than your fights," Guy says, nodding toward Fred and Cecilia.
"Yeah, well, what are you gonna do? The pair of them shout a lot then crack up laughing. Some fight," Cecilia says.
"And it was violent-less," Kenny laughs.
"A classic Lex and Jeff moment," Anna says, rolling her eyes. "Their fights aren't long and usually don't end up in anything other than hysterical laughter."
"Does that make sense to anyone?" Fulton asks.
"It doesn't have to," Portman says in a somewhat sharp voice.
"What do you mean?" Fulton asks, giving Portman a dirty look.
"I mean," Portman begins to explain, seeing the look on Fulton's face, "it doesn't have to make sense to us. It works for them, doesn't it? If it works, why mess it up? If they're happy, and nobody's hurt, they should have that."
Everyone just stares for a minute, including me. Wow, that was incredibly deep, coming from Portman.
"Wow, deep words of wisdom from Portman," Averman says. Was I not just thinking that?
"See? I'm not the single biggest jerk in the world," Portman says, smiling. Connie throws a candy at him.
"So I have your permission to have her?" Charlie asks Jeff.
"Yeah. But don't you hurt her, or take advantage of her, or cheat on her, or hurt her in any way, cause I'll kill you," Jeff says seriously, and Lex elbows him.
"We all will," Chris throws in for good measure, gesturing at himself, Matt, and Anthony.
"I promise," Charlie smiles. "And you gotta be good to Julie or the Ducks will come after you."
"What are you going to do? Quack at me? No, I'm just kidding!" says Jeff at the look on Charlie's face. "I wouldn't even dream of hurting her," Jeff grins at me, and I feel myself blush.
"Glad to hear it," I tell Jeff.
"So is everyone all better now?" Connie asks.
"Yes, therapist Connie," Sammie says. "Everything's fine."
"Good thing too," Guy says, standing up as the bus comes to a halt, "because I think we're here."
We get off the bus, and head inside. Jeff takes my hand.
Lex is lucky to have Jeff, I decide. Lucky beyond her wildest dreams. It must be a good feeling, having someone you care for the way Lex and Jeff care for each other. I wish I did.
Then Portman picks me up and spins me around, forcing me to let go of Jeff's hand, but it's worth it, to hear what Portman says. "He won't hurt you, but if he does, we'll kill him," he winks at me.
I take it back. I don't wish I had friends like Lex and Jeff. I'm glad I do. They might be gay, or stupid, or argue a lot, or quack, but they're my friends, and they're all I got.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
lyrics borrowed in this chapter:
'Crazy For This Girl' -Evan and Jaron
