Chapter 3 – Still In My Heart

"I think I'll take a rain check tonight," Syaoran muttered to Takashi as they drove in Syaoran's car back to work.

He nodded. "You going back to work or heading to the hotel?"

"Uh…hotel," he answered with a forced chuckle.

"All right. Well…I'll see you later," Takashi opened the door as soon as Syaoran stopped in front.

"Sure," Syaoran nodded.

He headed to the hotel the opposite of where they came from. He didn't know what to think. All he could see in his mind was a beautiful face with big, emerald eyes that looked frightened and angry, pink lips that made him remember their serious making-out sessions, and the shiny, short hair that he knew so well. His heart constricted at the remembrance of the woman he hadn't seen for years, but dreamed of every night of his life. She didn't look very different, but he could see how well she changed. She didn't grow anymore, making Syaoran feel so much bigger.

He sighed and parked the car when he got inside the parking lot. For a moment, Syaoran sat in the driver's seat, looking out the window, and just gave up on trying to keep his memories away. He let himself remember her. She sat on the couch and him on the floor. He prepared the table and she cooked dinner for him and his roommate. He got up and went to her dorm, grabbing her from her own bed and catching her lips before she could even squeak. God, he never loved anyone as much as he loved her.

Syaoran got out of his car and headed to the hotel. All he could think of now was that he had to see her again.

--- --- ---

The next day, Sakura called Chiharu and told her that she didn't feel like working. Her bones were still shaking with shock and she had a feeling her nerves were pretty burnt up as well. Sakura was lying on the couch, facing the TV, watching shows that she didn't even like. She would've made lunch, but she couldn't get up. Her knees hadn't recovered yet from the jelly-like feeling after seeing him again.

Sakura rolled over on her side and watched a talk-show host talking about marriage problems with these two guests. She groaned and picked up the remote, changing the channel immediately. Sakura gave up doing that as well and dropped it on the carpet. She closed her eyes and tried thinking of nothing. She made a black void with an empty blank in her mind. But then a picture of a certain handsome chestnut-haired man stared back at her. She stood up in frustration and marched to the kitchen.

"Why can I not get him off my mind?!" She cried to herself. "Stupid man! Stupid him for coming back!" She cursed, violently grabbing meat and vegetables from her fridge. "He said he would never come back and I made sure that he said so! Why did he come back?! I do not need this right now!! Not when summer is coming and I have nothing to do and all I'm probably going to do is look for him every time I go out!" She growled and cut the vegetables with vehemence.

Sakura dropped the vegetables on the heating pan. She sighed and cut the beef into little pieces. "Damn me for thinking about him again…" she cursed. "Damn me for still loving him after all this time."

--- --- ---

"How far is Tomoeda from here?" Syaoran asked Takashi when they went down the elevator shaft one Thursday morning.

Takashi thought for a moment. "I'm guessing at least an hour and a half away."

"Mind showing me the way to get there?"

"No problem," he took out a very wrinkled map of Kyoto and the small cities around it. "Here's where we are," he pointed out a small dot by a big highway. "Tomoeda's right here. You've got to follow the highway and turn a couple rights and lefts. Uh, there are a few signs around showing how far Tomoeda is," Takashi scratched the back of his head. "I'll lend this to you if you want."

"Yeah, I'd like that," Syaoran nodded. "Thanks Takashi."

"Anything for a man going after his girl," he grinned and folded the map, handing it to Syaoran's hands.

"I'm not going after-" he began.

Takashi raised a hand. "Let's just say Chiharu's been talking and I know a few things about your past."

"I'm not going after her," he continued with a glare. "I just…I just want to see her. That's all."

"Ok," his friend replied innocently. "Well, be sure to give her my regards," he laughed and headed off to another direction.

Syaoran decided to forget what he said and walked the rest of the stairs to the parking lot. As he sat in the driver's seat, he looked at the map and laid it on the steering wheel. He traced the several little roads he had to pass from the big highway. As soon as he got the basic idea of how to get there, he pushed his key in the ignition and started to drive out into the freeway. He was more than anxious to get there. The thought of returning to this town he'd finished college made him grin. The thought of getting a chance to see Sakura again made his heart grin.

As soon as he arrived at the local street and found a big sign that said, 'Welcome to Tomoeda,' he glanced around the familiar town, seeing some small stores that stretched out a block, quaint houses along another block, and several people walking on the sidewalks. He drove around, not really sure where to go next. Now that he'd arrived practically two hours later because of lunch-break traffic, he realized he hadn't thought of where to find her. Syaoran found a two-story building two miles down the road. He noticed the sign, 'Tomoeda Elementary School.'

What good would that do? He sighed and decided to get some lunch. He parked the car at a free space and saw that there were two small fast-food restaurants opposite each other. Syaoran went to the one closest to him and entered. His eyebrows shot up, seeing the familiar setting. This was the place most college students went during free periods. Since the summer was beginning in Japan, there were only a few college students in the restaurant.

Syaoran went to the table counter and sat on a barstool. A dark-haired green-eyed waitress stared at him with curiosity and clear interest. "I don't think I've ever seen you before," she said, allowing a small smile on her heart-shaped face.

He smiled, obviously not wanting to say anything about himself. "Can I get your special to go?"

"Sure," she replied with a growing smile. "You want anything else?" Her eyes seemed to say, 'Like me?'

"No, that's all," he glanced around the place, pretending he didn't notice that look in her eyes. "The place still looks good." He passed her a credit card.

"You've been here before?" The woman asked, processing the whole payment.

He nodded. "A long time ago."

"My name's Kioko. I work at another restaurant on the other side of this place too. You ever been there?"

"On the other side of Tomoeda?" Syaoran questioned, remembering the quaint little restaurant better-looking than this.

"I guess you haven't, with that questionable look on your face," Kioko grinned. "Anyway, pretty boy, your food's almost ready." She turned to go check on them.

"Wait," he stopped her.

"Yes?" She turned back around. "What else would you like?" her voice going slightly sultry.

He ignored that too. "Do you know a woman named Sakura?"

"Sakura?" She stared at him disbelievingly. "How do you know Sakura??"

"So you do know who she is?" He was sitting on the edge of his seat now.

Her small green eyes narrowed. "It depends on which Sakura we know," she replied carefully.

"Kinomoto. Sakura Kinomoto," Syaoran answered promptly.

"Wow," Kioko replied, stunned. "Are you, like, an ex-boyfriend or something?"

He was a little embarrassed, and began to feel like he was going to blush, but he hid it well. "Do you know where I can find her?"

She began to say something, her eyes drifting to the doorway, and then she stopped. "No need to look any further," Kioko nudged her head to the door. "She's coming your way now."

Syaoran turned slowly and found the emerald-eyed beauty walking towards the door of the restaurant. Any sane man would've drooled at the sight of her.

He stared as she continued to walk. Her gaze drifted from one side to the other, and then through the translucent door. Suddenly, she caught sight of a blurry, yet familiar-looking man watching her from inside. With caution, she opened the door and looked through. A squeak came out of her gasp as the amber eyes she'd dreamed of just a few minutes ago stared back at her, real as ever. Frozen in place, Sakura stared at him, eyes wide, and mouth agape. Syaoran was the first one to break out of the earth-shattering gaze and began to move to her, his mouth opening to call her name. Before he could say anything, she turned and fled the other way, running to her car. Syaoran broke off into a sprint as well, following her, and actually finding the words.

"Sakura!" He called as soon as he was outside.

She was shaking tremendously, her still-jelly knees beginning to give away. She fumbled for her car keys inside the bag. Not bothering to look at him, she thrust it in the lock and twisted it around.

"Sakura, wait," he said again, his voice closer this time.

"No, no, no…" she whispered as she tried to get in. Finally, she realized he'd reach her before she could even open the damn thing. With a heavy sigh and shaking nerves, she gave in and leaned on the car with her hip, her legs already starting to sway. She looked up, ever so slowly, afraid to find a sincere, handsome face looking at her.

Surprisingly, he was standing two feet away from her, his hands buried deep in his pockets, watching her with amusement and clear remorse in his heated gaze. She swallowed, willing the tears clogging at her throat to go away. Sakura's hands shook as she held them together, watching him with a firm gaze.

"If you want to go, just go," he said. His voice was the same, but in a lightly deeper voice.

She began to form words in her mind, but her mouth wouldn't cooperate. The words just wouldn't come out.

When she didn't answer, he talked. "I just wanted to see you again," he lowered his gaze. "I didn't come back to make you upset."

The tears returned to her throat. Sakura swallowed once more. "Well…you've seen me."

He nodded, a rueful grin on his face. Sakura's heart skipped a beat. "And you're still damn beautiful, babe," he murmured.

Her eyes widened at the compliment and the nickname. He'd said the same days ago. Her heart pounded heavier and her cheeks reddened even more. "Thanks."

"How are you?"

"I've…" she cleared her throat. "I've been fine," she answered with surprising confidence.

He nodded again. "That's good to hear." For a moment, Sakura seemed to mentally back away further. "Uh, I'm leaving, anyway," he began, stopping her from turning back into her car.

Her hands froze as she held the key and looked back up at him.

"So you don't have to go," he finished.

Her mind only stayed at his previous words. "You're leaving?" She couldn't help but ask. "Again?"

Stunned at this question, he stepped back. "Back to work," he replied, and within a moment, he added, "not back to Hong Kong, if that's what you mean. Not anytime soon, at least."

Unwanted relief waved through her. So he was going to be here for a while. "Oh."

"It was good to see you," he said and stared at her for a moment.

She just stared back.

Finally, Syaoran broke the gaze. He walked back to his own car not far from hers and went in, staying at his seat for a moment. He looked through the rearview mirror and found her standing at the same place, staring at him. After a minute or two, she looked down and headed to the restaurant. He raked a hand over his face. Goddamn, how was he going to live in Japan for two more months and survive not seeing her??

--- --- ---

Sakura grabbed a seat at the nearest booth and breathed a little too breathlessly. Her heart pounded with uneasiness as her wavering gaze reluctantly traveled to the car Syaoran had just gotten in. It was gone. She breathed deeply and looked away, glancing at the slightly crowded diner. As soon as she felt her legs strengthen, she stood up and trudged over to a free stool. Kioko, the same waitress that worked in the restaurant miles away, looked at her with concern.

"Did he do something bad to you?" Kioko asked, biting her lip. "I'm sorry, but he asked for you, and I didn't know what to say, and then I saw-"

Sakura raised a hand. "You didn't do anything wrong," she replied. "He wasn't…he didn't hurt me."

She nodded. "Well…ok…do you want something?"

"Water would be good, thanks," Sakura put her bag down on the counter in front of her and blew out a breath.

"Ok," Kioko smiled. "That was some run you did back there." She started as she poured ice-cold water in a glass.

Sakura looked up at her and let a weary smile appear on her face. "Let's just say I was very shocked at the sight of him."

"I think that was highly obvious," Kioko commented.

She drank sips of water and put it down on the counter. "What's the food for today?"

Kioko glanced at the bag in front of her. "That man you talked to just now? He ordered the special, but didn't stick around to get it. You might as well have it."

Sakura's eyes widened. "He ordered something?"

"Yeah. Looked kind of hungry," the young waitress said. "But since he's probably ways from here, it's free. He's already paid for it." Kioko shrugged.

"I'd rather not take it," Sakura answered, glancing at the bag of food. "I'll pay for my own."

"Ok. What do you want?"

Syaoran paid for the lunch he ordered, but he didn't take it. He said to her that he was leaving for work as soon as she arrived. He must've left for her sake. Sakura's heart throbbed at the thought. Her gaze stayed on the food again. He must be hungry to order a large meal like that. A frown appeared in her face. "On second thought, I'll have that."

Kioko raised her eyebrow yet again. "Changed your mind?"

Sakura nodded. "I wouldn't want that food to go to waste." She'd find a way to bring it to him.

"Ok," she brought the big bag to Sakura. "Here you go."

"Thanks," Sakura smiled and took the bag. "I'll talk to you later, ok?"

Kioko nodded. "Bye."

She went to her car and looked at the highway in front of her. Sakura remembered seeing him turn right, and that was it. She got out of the parking lot and went in the highway. Grabbing the cell phone in her bag, she dialed the phone operator. A woman answered asking for the person she would look for. Sakura couldn't say out his name for a moment, still finding it weird and disbelieving that he was back and she was running after him.

"Hello? Ma'am?" The operator's voice rang in her head.

Sakura blinked. "Syaoran Li," she said, surprised at the evenness of her voice.

"Would you like the phone number or the address?"

"The addr-" Her voice died. He said he was going back to work. Naoko worked in the building his family owned. Her heart skipped a dozen beats at the realization. "Um, never mind. Thanks anyway," she hurried to hang up the phone and dial Naoko's phone number.

"Hello, Naoko Yanagisawa speaking." A cheerful voice greeted.

"Hi, it's Sakura," she said.

"Sakura?" Naoko asked in surprise. "Hey! How are you?"

"I'm ok," she answered with a small smile. "You?"

"I've been great. So why'd you call?"

"I need the address of your work," she said bluntly.

"You need…the address of the building I'm working in?" Naoko asked, her voice holding question.

"Yes," Sakura changed lanes and turned left. "I only know halfway there. Could you give me the directions?"

"Why? What's this all about?" Naoko asked.

Sakura sighed. She knew her old friend would know if she was lying or not. She was a bad liar. "I have to give something to him."

"To who?" Naoko asked. "To…him? To…" Naoko gasped. "Syaoran??"

The name brought a bright red to her cheeks. "Yes." She replied.

"Why?? Sakura, you're digging yourself into a deeper hole by doing this. Listen-"

"I'm not planning to talk or to see him. He left something in a diner that I found. I think he at least deserves to get it back."

"But…"

"I know you're worried about me, but I'll be fine. All I'm planning is to drop this off with his friend and I'll be going off. That's all. Now, could you please give me the directions?"

Naoko didn't want to give in. But she did. She sighed. "Ok, fine. But you promise me that you won't go and start falling in love with him again."

"I promise, Naoko." Sakura took a deep breath. 'I don't want to make that same mistake again…but I'm afraid I already did.'

--- --- ---

To be continued...