Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

I have two papers and finals just around the corner, so responses have to be brief.

Iluvenis: Glad you picked up on that... I like that she didn't, but basically so it has more impact when she does. I'm just a little harrassed and harried at the moment. I've had a lot to do, including employee evaluations, which always bites, because giving a bad review just makes everyone feel bad.

Alatarial Elf: Yeah, she remembered. She died fairly quickly--it would only need a few minutes.

CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur: If she tried to grab a hold of him, he would probably freak out... but this chapter kind of explains that, so I'll stop there.

eyes of sky: What's that?

LJP: LOL, I hadn't really thought of it quite like that. But you're right.

Chapter 13 Don't touch me

The good natured argument over books came to a sudden halt when the hand Carathwan reached out to lightly touch his arm found itself suddenly a good foot from its intended destination. Her breath escaped her as if she had been struck, and she lifted large eyes to see his face was averted from her own.

She turned her head slightly and slowly began walking once more.

He fell into step beside her, quiet for a long moment before she felt him look at her. He drew a deep breath, then tilted his head back towards the stars. "I still say it is nice not to have such conflict."

"A lack of conflict would be lovely," she murmured shortly.

He glanced sharply at her for her sudden turn-around, and closed his eyes. "Carathwan… Can't we just…"

"Forget it?" she asked softly. "As we have pretended to do every other time you flinched from me?" She closed her eyes, slowly shaking her head. "I can't, Glorfindel. Every time you move away like that… it makes my heart ache," she admitted, pressing a hand to her chest as if it could somehow lessen the pain.

He reached a hand out, his fingers pausing in midair when she sidestepped him. He frowned slightly, reaching again.

She shook her head and moved even farther away.

"Carathwan?"

She was still shaking her head. "No, Glorfindel. Every time that I'm hurt by your fears you manage to set them aside enough to reach out a bit, to try and offer me some small comfort, but it won't be enough, will it? My pain can't get you through this. I can't get you through this."

"Carathwan…"

"No. It has always been up to you. You thought to use me, and I thought at first that maybe that would work. That maybe I could somehow fix you—" she laughed bitterly, tossing her head slightly. "But you're the only one who can." She looked at him then, saw his wince at her tears. "No," she ordered when he started to reach out once more. "I can take care of my own tears."

He looked at her for a long moment, and slowly shook his head. "Carathwan, please don't… don't do this."

"What else can I do?" she asked.

He couldn't find anything to say, no way to answer her.

"I've waited. I've pushed, prodded, coaxed… and there hasn't been any real improvement at all. You can hide a bit better, but that's all, isn't it?" She let out a heavy sigh, shaking her head. Pained eyes lifted to his clouded ones. "I don't think there's anything you can really say…"

"I don't want you to go," he murmured, voice low.

She closed her eyes. "I know. I know you love me, that you do want to reach out to me… but I can't keep destroying myself to help you." Slowly she turned, heading out of the garden, back to the bright feast and revelry that was going on within. She paused, glancing back at him where he still stood in the garden's heart. She watched the stars glimmer over him, tangling in his hair, his weary, heart-breaking eyes. "I do love you," she whispered, swallowing hard as she turned at last, stepping into the hall.

Lunian gasped when she saw her. Carathwan didn't notice, just slowly, numbly began walking through the crowd, making her way to the edge of the room to leave. Lunian got to her feet, unaware of Ethwan's curious questions.

Love?

"Legolas," she murmured aloud, before blinking, shaking herself. Legolas, something has gone wrong.

Cara and Glorfindel?

Yes.

Well, it was going to happen, wasn't it?

It doesn't have to.

But it apparently has.

Legolas, you're not helping.

What would you have me do?

She smiled slightly at his mental sigh, but bit her lip. She was torn—she wanted to go and yell at Glorfindel, yet she wanted to comfort Carathwan. She sighed. Go knock some sense into Glorfindel. I'll make sure Cara cries it all out.

I don't think 'knocking sense' into him will be of much help.

I'd feel better.

He chuckled. Lunian, my love…

Oh, fine. But… something has to be done.

I'm afraid I must admit to believing he is the only one who can do anything.

Then encourage him to do it on his own.

He laughed softly, and she caught a hint of light shining on his hair as he slipped out into the garden even as she finally reached the door leading to the corridor of rooms. Yes, dear one.

She rolled her eyes and mentally swatted him for his tone.

Legolas looked at Glorfindel for a long moment, reading the line of the shoulders quite well, knowing what he, himself, had looked like not that long ago. Silently he made his way to the ancient warrior's side, staring up at the stars for a time as they both just thought.

"Lunian has gone after her?" Glorfindel asked at last.

"She decided I probably wouldn't be able to comfort her well enough she could come out here to harangue you instead."

Glorfindel closed his eyes. "So you've come to berate me?"

Legolas slowly shook his head. "You're doing that well enough on your own."

Glorfindel smiled bitterly. "I'm beginning to understand just what torment you were in—being so close yet unable to reach out for her…"

"It was different—I could have done so, but didn't, because I shouldn't have."

"A minor difference, really, as the result is the same."

"Distance," Legolas agreed after a long moment.

Glorfindel nodded.

The silence stretched on between them for a long while. Legolas eventually looked down from the sky. "How bad is it?"

Glorfindel glanced up, seeing what Legolas was referring to. "Every touch reminds me of his," he admitted at last. "She touches my arm, and I feel it burning, smell my armor melting, clothing, flesh and hair burning… sometimes I can't even see her any more… It's all darkness and flame."

"She has been trying to ease you into comfort?"

"Yes."

"I take it that hasn't worked."

He shook his head slightly. "I can touch her a bit more, but so little… and she was right. Most of the time I simply hide my reaction from her… or try to."

"Have you told Elrond?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"What could he do? I've considered it, but thinking of his… methods terrify me more than death."

"Why?"

"Because I can just imagine him holding onto me."

Legolas frowned. "What?"

"I'm afraid of touch. So what would he do, but force me to endure it? At least, until I'm either cured or broken entirely." Slowly he shook his head. "I rather think I would break, Legolas, horrible as it is to admit."

"Could you put yourself back together?"

Glorfindel shuddered slightly. "I don't know that I could survive it, this time around any more than last time."

Legolas sighed softly, then shook his head. "Then I won't hug you."

"Thanks," Glorfindel murmured wryly.

Legolas, have you wrung anything out of him yet?

Love, he is deeply injured by this.

Well, Cara isn't crying.

He winced. That bad?

She loves him, Egola. He keeps her at a distance, apart. I'm sure you know how that is.

He sighed. It is hardly any better for him, as he's the cause of not only his pain, but hers, which only pains him more.

Is he going to do anything about it?

I honestly don't know what he could do, my love.

Deal with it? She suggested tartly.

He unconsciously shook his head. No. It isn't so simple. He recalls that which killed him every time he is touched. Can you imagine yourself an old woman, on the verge of your final sunset every time I touched you?

Even at this distance, he could feel her shudder. No.

Then don't berate him for it.

It's that bad?

Yes.

She sighed. But…

Love, as much as I love you, would love to please you… there is nothing I can say or do that will set this right. There just isn't. I can't even imagine being that close to a Balrog—the one in Moria was too close for comfort at the distance it was.

She shivered again. Maybe Grandfather—

No, Milady. He fears that, too.

What? Grandfather knowing, or what he might do?

What he would do. Or have you forgotten what he did when he found out Ethwan was scared of spiders?

She shuddered. I'm just glad he didn't do that to everyone who didn't like spiders.

Legolas chuckled softly. Most of us have a valid reason. We also tend to fear those that are as big as we are or bigger, rather than those barely the size of a child's nail.

He could feel her smile, then her slow, reluctant agreement. All right, she sighed. But I'm still going to try and think up something.

By all means, love. He blinked slightly, shaking his head.

"Well?"

He blinked at Glorfindel, then smiled crookedly. "You're safe from her for now."

"Wonderful," he murmured sarcastically. "If… if she found a way…"

"We know," Legolas agreed, automatically moving to rest a hand on the other elf's shoulder. He caught himself, drawing back, sighing when he saw a faint bit of relief in the bright eyes across from his own.