Oh my gosh, this has taken forever to update! So, a lot happened since I had the last chapter, a flashback. It was one. I would never put them through that again, sorry. Anyways, finals have taken over me and my teacher just died of cancer, so I'm going to his funeral on Saturday... okay, over to the story...

His eyes slowly opened. Where was he? He couldn't remember. But something was oddly familiar about here.

It was his room.

Seth sat up, and tried to get his bearings. What had happened? He couldn't think straight. If he shut his eyes, all he could see was the hallway he was shot in.

Yes, the shooting. It had never affected his like this. He didn't understand why it was now. He did remember his doctor mentioning something similar to this, but could remember it now? Nope.

He tried to remember the day. It was a few days after Summer broke up with him. That was killing Seth. He wanted to talk about it to his therapist, but the guy was on vacation for three weeks. That's Newport therapists for you. Seth was told to go to someone else, but the guy was a complete idiot.

Seth grabbed his iPod and went to the clock on it. It read March 1st. It was the first of the month. Four months after the shooting. The two times Seth was awake to celebrate an anniversary of the shooting, he hadn't paid attention. The first time he had Summer. The second, well, he forgot.

But today felt different. He felt alone. Like he had felt that day. Seth felt different because he had completely lost Summer.

All the time now he thought of her. Why had she broken up with him? All he ever did was love her. And so instead of being with him, Summer ditched him. She had grown sick of him. So he was alone again. At least he was used to it.

Seth didn't want to go to school. They would acknowledge the shooting and bring back more memories than he would like.

"Seth? Are you awake?" Sandy was at his son's door. No one was having a good day. Kirsten woke up almost screaming, she was having another nightmare. The nightmare she used to constantly have, where they pulled the plug on Seth. This time it went farther, to the graveyard. Kirsten was always disgusted with herself when she had thought of letting Seth die.

"Yeah," Seth laid back on the bed, he was so tired. All he wanted to do was sleep. So he shut his eyes.

Sandy walked into the room and found Seth lying on the bed with closed eyes. It was too close to how it used to be.

"Get up," Sandy barked immediately.

"I'm tired," Seth mumbled, not even moving.

"Seth, I mean it. You have school and..." Sandy warned.

"I wanna sleep. Please?" Seth didn't open his eyes.

"Seth Ezekiel, get your ass up," Sandy ordered. He never had been really emotional when Seth was in the coma. He'd go to see him, but Sandy never liked to be in the room alone with him.

"Okay," Seth finally gave in and sat up. He looked up at his dad, and understood why he was so mad. The shooting. It always was the shooting.

"Good. Get ready for school," Sandy promptly walked out of his son's room. He headed downstairs where Ryan sat at the island, sipping coffee.

Ryan looked a lot healthier than two weeks ago. He barely had any bags under his eyes, and he wasn't nearly as sick-looking.

"Morning," Ryan greeted his guardian. He knew exactly what day it was. He went to sleep last night knowing what day it would be.

"Morning. Did Kirsten come out yet?" Sandy glanced back to where his room was. Kirsten still had to be in there.

"Nope," Ryan answered and looked at Sandy. He heard Sandy yell. He didn't know why it happened, but it had.

"Damn. I have a feeling she's gonna celebrate this one just like the other three. Cooped up in her room," Kirsten never talked about the nightmare she'd have, she's just say it was fine. But it never was. Everyone noticed it, but didn't say a thing.

She always felt horrible for ever thinking she wanted to kill her son. It was just one of those unforgivable things.

And Sandy was right. She was going to spend the whole day cooped up in her room. That was her new tradition. Eleven years ago, this was what she did with her mom. Every first day of the month for a year, she would lock herself up in her room. Sandy couldn't understand it, he had never had one of his parents die. His dad left so long ago, and the Nana was the Nana.

Sophie would call every so often, talk to her son and complain about California and chemo. The Nana knew about the shooting, and the coma. Sandy practically begged her not to come out. Nothing was happening, so why torment yourself? But Sophie promised she would come after Seth was re-adjusted and doing okay.

Kirsten wanted so badly to talk to another motherly figure. Maybe she'd go to her own mother's gravestone. Or she could invite the Nana to California. No, Sophie would never go for it. The Nana and the Kirsten were never friends. But maybe they could be.

Sandy decided to go check on his wife. He would be leaving soon, so he had to make sure she was okay.

"Kirsten?" Sandy tiptoed his way into see his wife laying down in bed, blonde hair all over.

"Hmm?" she acknowledged him, but didn't feel like getting up. It was mopping day, there was no need to get up.

"Are you getting up today?" Sandy asked, but he knew the answer already.

"No," Kirsten was surprised by the weakness in her voice. She felt stronger than that. Wait, no she didn't.

Kirsten was about to collapse.

"Okay then. I'll call you, and see you later," Sandy walked over, and kissed his wife on the forehead. "Love you."

"Love you too," Kirsten choked out and slowly Sandy walked out.

"Hey Ryan," Sandy came into the kitchen to grab his suitcase. "When you're leaving, go in and see Kirsten. She needs it today."

"Sure," Ryan said, and Sandy left. Ryan waited for Seth, but he already knew that his brother would be obsessing over losing Summer. That's how it had been for three days.

Seth finally traipsed down the stairs, in not a very good mood.

"Hey man," Ryan greeted his brother, who waved back.

"Can you tell me again the chances of Summer finding another guy at Willow Creek? Because you and Nicole got a little hot and heavy..." Seth wondered.

"Seth, nothing ever happened," Ryan had been through this conversation too many times.

"What? Come on man, you played some poker, maybe strip poker?" Seth asked.

"How many times have we gone through this? Four?" Ryan was shocked that Seth hadn't mentioned the shooting. Maybe he forgot.

"I know, and my parents always walk in. So, we never get any farther with the conversation. What are my chances with Summer and another guy?" Seth didn't near forget the shooting. He was just masking the pain.

"Girls and guys are usually separated," Ryan answered.

"Damn," Seth looked down at the counter in dismay.

"You know this sounds exactly like..." Ryan began to think about the first day of school. The two had a very similar conversation to this.

"Like what? Like four months ago, on the day I was shot? It was completely different then. I was trying to fucking win her back, not trying to figure out how I fucking lost her," Seth went off the deep end.

"I wasn't gonna say that," Ryan couldn't understand why Seth snapped.

"You might as well be thinking that," Seth accused.

"Have you been taking your meds Seth?" Ryan didn't look up. He felt like such a parent. An over-bearing parent.

"I don't need fucking medication. I need Summer," Seth was pissed. Why the hell was Ryan worrying about his med intake? His brother finally looked up at Seth.

"Because if you don't take your meds and not see a therapist for three weeks, you're gonna hurt someone or yourself," Ryan told his brother. He kept his calm, but it was hard.

"I'm fine," Seth began to calm down.

"How long haven't you been taking it?" Seth remained silent. "Since she broke up with you? That's four days, Seth, you gotta take it."

"I just really miss her. Why would she break up with me?" Seth gave in and walked over next to Ryan.

"It probably has nothing to do with you," Ryan tried to make his brother feel better.

"You think?" Seth liked the sound of it.

"She's in Willow Creek, she's gonna have to make some changes. I did," Ryan answered.

"Yeah, like what?" Seth got interested.

"Okay, I tried. Stopped hanging out with those guys, but I couldn't heave all the responsibility on my mom and be the kid. If I had, I'd be in foster homes now," Ryan was glad he grew up when he got out. Who knew it would land him here?

"Oh," Seth replied, and remembering the argument earlier, he went to the counter and grabbed his Prozac. He still could not open it. You'd think after a month, he'd get it, but no. Not long ago, it had taken a trip across the kitchen.

He twisted it. Nothing. Seth twisted it again. Still nothing. What the hell? Why couldn't he open these caps? Everyone else could.

"This is another reason I didn't take it...it refuses to open...stupid thing..why can't childproof lids be easier to open? I mean, it's really hard..." Seth rambled as he struggled.

"You still can't open that thing?" Ryan laughed at the sight. He had seen eight year olds open a bottle like that, and yet, Seth could not open it.

"No, I can't open it! If I could, I wouldn't be hating it and fighting with it..." Seth was about to give it a second trip across the kitchen when Ryan solved the problem.

"Seth, why don't you try pushing down on the lid and turning it at the same time?" Ryan suggested.

"That's way too easy," Seth replied.

"Just try it," So Seth did. He pushed down and turned it at the same time.

The lid popped off.

"Well, what you do you know? It worked," Seth commented and Ryan laughed at his brother. "See, I thought you had to quick push down and then twist it at the perfect time, but I was obviously wrong," Seth felt embarrassed by his stupidity.

"Sure, Seth," Ryan had never met someone who couldn't open a pill bottle.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Seth asked as he followed Ryan to the front door, which had begun ringing.

Marissa didn't quite know if she shouldn't come over to pick Seth and Ryan up. She didn't even know if they were going to school. She knew it was the four month anniversary.

"Hey," Ryan opened the door and saw his girlfriend grinning. She kissed him as Seth rolled his eyes. "Hi Seth," Marissa said once they began to walk into the kitchen.

"Glad to see I'm noticed," Seth commented sarcastically.

"You gotta come back Seth. It's been a month, we're all losing it. No one's talked to Summer in two weeks. No one's heard from her since the incident. Please wake up, and save us," Seth thought he heard Marissa say.

"What'd you just say Marissa?" Seth stopped and she turned, looking at him strangely.

"I...didn't say anything then," both Ryan and Marissa grew worried. Seth was hearing things that didn't exist.

But it did exist. Only three months ago, during one of Marissa's many visits. She had told Seth tons of things, it had been nice to just vent, but now Seth knew all of that. And eventually, he'd remember it.

"Yes, you did. Stuff about Summer, and two weeks, and a month, and an incident..." Seth answered and Marissa remembered that conversation.

"I didn't just sat that," Technically, she didn't lie. She pulled Ryan into the kitchen. "Is he okay?"

"He just took his meds. So he heard some imaginary voices," Ryan blew it off.

"No, Ryan. I did say those things to him," Marissa was a little scared.

"Then why did you lie?" Ryan couldn't understand it.

"I said those things to him...three months ago," Marissa told Ryan. "Has this ever happened before?" All of them had told Seth so many deep things and he knew them all.

"I think once. Somehow he figured out that Kirsten wanted him to take him off life support," Ryan's thoughts rushed to when Seth was going to jump. He had said everyone wanted him dead. Of course, maybe Kirsten or Sandy told him, but why would they want to? This wasn't the kind of thing you wanted to tell your child.

"Wait, what? When did Kirsten want him off life support?" Marissa was shocked she had never heard about that.

"Oddly enough, the day he woke up," A thought hit Ryan. What would've happened if they had pulled the plug? And only a few hours after, not even, Seth woke up.

"Are we going or what?" Seth knew he was being talked about. He hated it.

"Don't tell him about, the, you know..." Marissa informed Ryan as he grabbed his bag.

"Yeah, I know," Ryan knew Marissa meant the carnival. That seemed like years ago when Summer cracked. So much had changed.

Marissa and Ryan walked out of the kitchen and saw Seth acting impatient. Of course he was covering up the bewilderment of what Marissa had said. What was this incident? What had happened?

"Finally," he commented and headed out to Marissa's car.

"Wait, Seth. We gotta say goodbye to your mom," Ryan let go of Marissa and walked into Sandy and Kirsten's room while Seth followed. "Hi Kirsten."

"Hi," Kirsten was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep. But it would be hopeless, and she'd mope all day, waiting for Sandy to return so he could cheer her up and the day could end and she could go on with her life.

But the day had just barely begun.

"Oh, I just wanted to see if you were all right, because we're going," Ryan was saying as Seth was feeling worse and worse. He was the one that made Kirsten like this. He had hurt her so much, the repercussions were still coming.

"I'll be fine, but come here," Kirsten pulled herself up and the boys walked over. She pulled them both into a large hug. She didn't want to let go. "Please be careful and safe."

"We will Mom," Seth told her. Ryan was surprised by the huge act of emotion. He had to say, he was still not near used to the affection of this family. Every day, he felt as though he didn't belong, even if the Cohens had been his family for so long. It still felt strange.

"I love you," Kirsten informed her boys, and they returned the gesture. Silently, the two left and she again felt alone. Kirsten could hear the door close and she took a deep breath. Time to mope.

An idea struck her. Where had she put those pictures? Most likely the closet. The back of the closet.

Slowly, Kirsten picked herself up and walked over to their closet. She headed in it, and saw the massiveness of it. Why hadn't she noticed it before? There was dress upon dress, shoe after shoe. It never ended.

And there, in the back, were the boxes of her mother's things she hid from herself. Who would want memories of the woman you looked up to and suddenly disappeared from your life?

Kirsten sat down in the back of the closet and opened one of the boxes. Her mother's fragrance hit her with such a force, tears immediately formed. This was what she hid from herself for ten years. There were pictures, and presents, and a bottle of her favorite perfume.

Kirsten began to go through the photos, a few of them taken just days before her mother died. She forgot how much she missed her mother. How different it was back then. Jeez, Kirsten was still in her twenties. Hailey barely was there. Not even, she was maybe 10 at most when these photos were taken. Seth was so small, and so full of...she couldn't describe it.

Finally, Kirsten found the photo she cherished. The one she had taken in the hospital, with both Seth and her mother sleeping. It was so cute, and it was one of the only photos that made Kirsten smile.

She noticed that both Seth and her mother had been on their deathbeds on the same day. November first. Except Seth lived and her mother, well, didn't.

Kirsten would've never guessed from looking at that photo that Seth would turn out like he did. He was so much more darker now, and sensitive. And of course, it was Kirsten's fault.

She stayed in the closet for most of the day, falling asleep at noon. She had awoken to Sandy screaming her name.

But Seth could beat his mother at having a worse day. Everyone singled out the victims of the shooting and stared. Their faces had been seen enough on the memorial boards. All the teachers would ask Seth if he was okay, which he wasn't. But he always lied.

Summer had amazingly been off his brain. The shooting kept rearing its ugly head and Seth was getting so sick of it. It wasn't as if he hadn't gotten enough of it the actual time it happened. Now, everywhere he walked, he got reminders of the worst day in his life.

Four months had gone since the day, and yet it felt like yesterday. He would've wished he could change everything. Sometimes Seth even wondered what it was like to watch a loved one battle in limbo between life and death. It had to be so difficult and Seth tortured everyone for a month and three weeks.

When they got home, and Seth collapsed in front of the t.v., he hoped to just relax. He knew his mother was mopping. This time around, he was still adjusting to it. But he knew it was a tradition. Ryan, on the other hand, was not.

He kept asking Seth if Kirsten would be okay, and Seth told him yes. Ryan still wasn't so sure.

"I still don't trust it," Ryan continued to say.

"Breathe, she's all right," Seth kept answering. He was flipping through the channels, and came upon the news.

"Tonight's top stories: A car accident involving two cars has claimed a casualty. Some key evidence in a chain of house fires, and four months have gone by since the Harbor School shooting, the largest school shooting ever. We take a glimpse back on the day that changed all of Newport forever," Seth didn't change the channel. Why shouldn't he torture himself more?

He watched all of the news, waiting to see the shooting. He had never seen video of it, just pictures. The news station began to show the helicopter view of the shooting and Seth watched all his classmates run out. He thought he saw Summer, but from the view, it could've been anyone.

Seth knew that somehow or another, the shooting would continue to torment him. It would do that for hopefully only the next year. Then Seth could really move on. Hopefully, that was the main part.

Seth could hear his father come home, Ryan telling Sandy about Kirsten, and Sandy rushing to find his wife, hiding in the back of the closet. Seth heard Sandy scream her name in fear she was dead. They'd go through this another eight times before infinite closure.

There, that chapter done. Sorry again it took so long. Please review, I love them!