Chapter 14 – Helpless

Syaoran allowed the chauffer to open the car door. He walked in the airport with his luggage, feeling bitter resentment and a heavy, hollow feeling at the base of his heart. Within an hour, he was seated in first class in an airplane heading to Hong Kong. He closed his eyes and tried to blank his mind from everything that had happened. However, all he could see now was Sakura and her puffy-red eyes staring at him with dull pain. She stood a good 5 meters away from him, pointing to the door, her gaze on him reflecting the same pain he'd seen that day he left six years ago.

"Sir, would you like some wine?" The voice of a stewardess rang in his ears.

He opened his eyes and glanced at a pretty black-haired woman. "No thanks," he managed to say with a little bit of kindness.

She nodded and sent him a flirting smile.

He looked at the window, at the dark clouds that didn't seem to leave, and wished that he never came back. It was a mistake to come back in the first place and he knew it. His first gut reaction was right. He shouldn't have accepted his sisters' idea. It was foolhardy and probably the most foolish thing he'd ever done. All he wound up doing was hurt Sakura more. Sakura…who'd given him her heart again; who said that she never got it back and she didn't want it. That it was his to take; to keep.

> > >

Sakura greeted from behind the wall in the kitchen as she prepared the food. He grinned as he saw her cooking another egg for him. She wore an apron over her clothes, her hair tied up in a high ponytail, and her feet bare of any shoes. He leaned on the wall and watched her cook, appreciating the view. She reminded him of the times he imagined if they ever would get married, how she would look as a wife. She definitely looked the part. Syaoran noticed her cheeks reddening. With a small hint of a smile, he walked over to her and tucked in a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"You look good," he said close to her ear.

She felt herself shiver under his gaze. Sakura's heart pounded in her eyes. "I don't even look presentable," she murmured as she placed the cooked egg on a small plate.

The pulse in her throat jumped. "That's why you look good," he replied softly, his hand resting on the small of her back. "Simple and beautiful."

Obviously breathless by his words, she looked up at him. He smiled and let go of her, grabbing the food from her hands, realizing that she'd still been stunned by his compliment. Then, as if something had touched her, Sakura blinked, trembling for a moment. She turned around and found Syaoran looking at her.

Sakura looked at the framed photo of them in the last dance they went to together. It occurred to her then that she didn't have a picture of him now. She had pictures of them six years ago, but none of now. She felt tears lodge her throat. Blinking rapidly, she pushed the tears away and just stared at the picture. What mattered anyway? It was over and that was it. She knew he was eventually going to leave, right? How many times had she repeated that to herself? But that didn't mean it had to happen. Sakura let her gaze roam Syaoran's young, handsome face. He looked different now; much different than in the picture.

She bit her lip and put the frame face down on the coffee table. Sighing heavily, she stared into nothingness as memories of last night washed over her. He must be gone by now. Leaving Japan forever…never coming back. Well, good riddance. She was getting along fine without him having to come back.

Sakura felt herself tremor at the lie. No matter how much she fought it, her real feelings poured out. Her heart throbbed painfully at the thought of never seeing him again. He was cruel and heartless and basically the epitome of the devil himself. Sakura hid her face in her hands. But that didn't mean she didn't love him. When did it happen? She didn't know; couldn't remember. Was it six years ago that she truly fell in love with him? Was it when he came back to Japan and met her for the first time in years? Or was it when he looked at her for the very first time; from the other side of the cafeteria, an interested smile on his face?

> > >

Sheifa tapped her fingers on the empty seat next to her. Agitated, she stood up and paced around the living room, looking occasionally at the window and doors for Syaoran's arrival. The three other sisters looked just as anxious waiting impatiently for Syaoran to burst through the doors. The Daidouji family at the side looked worse than them. Eriol Hiiragizawa, a mysterious man who had just arrived at the scene unexpectedly, sat between the unspeaking mother and daughter.

After an hour or so of waiting, Syaoran had arrived then, luggage and all. As soon as his body entered the room, a dozen shrills rang so loudly, echoing endlessly. He frowned, closing his eyes and shoving his sisters off of him. He didn't need nor want anyone to talk to him now. All he wanted was to go to his room and stay there as long as he could. But he knew that wasn't possible, and so he merely sighed and met his sisters' eyes. Feimei caught his gaze and saw the pain hidden within, and looked away, feeling partly guilty for it being there.

"We'd like you to meet your…" Sheifa paused and looked at her sisters, confused on what to call the Daidoujis. "Your to-be-mother-in-law and…wife." They led him to the center of the living room where the three waited patiently. Tomoyo didn't look up, yet Sonomi met Syaoran's eyes with a cool smile. The man beside Tomoyo, however, looked at him as if assessing him. Syaoran glanced at the man as well, finding him a little familiar, but the memory would not come.

"Sonomi Daidouji," she stood up and smiled as Syaoran bowed. "You look very different from the last time I saw you," she spoke with grace.

Syaoran managed a small lift of the corner of his lips. "Nice to see you too, Mrs. Daidouji," he glanced at Tomoyo and offered a hand. "It's nice to finally meet you, Tomoyo."

She looked up finally and met his amber eyes with her gray ones. "Hello, Syaoran." She spoke his name and took his offered hand, shaking it politely. Her smile was sad.

His gaze moved to the man behind Tomoyo, watching him peculiarly. The man didn't seem to want to be introduced. Syaoran sighed and sat on an empty chair, gesturing with his hand for the women to sit as well. His sisters flocked around him and propelled the conversation, hoping to take away the awkwardness settling in. When looking at people, Syaoran often looked directly in their eyes, yet at this time, he couldn't. Tomoyo was avoiding his as well, and the reason was, in a way, obvious. This man; he sat too near Tomoyo; who held her shoulder for support and comfort. He knew who and what this man meant to her.

"Syaoran Li," he introduced first and offered a hand.

Eriol's judging eyes widened a fraction from surprise. And just as fast as he'd shown some emotion, Eriol stiffened once more. With reluctant respect, he stood and shook Syaoran's hand with fierceness reflected in him. "Eriol Hiiragizawa."

"I've heard the name," Syaoran spoke, admiring his strength and arrogance. "A doctor."

Again, he was startled. How did Syaoran Li have even heard of him? "Yes, as a pediatrician in the hospital near Beijing."

Tomoyo's eyes sprang up to him. She hadn't known that. It was only then she realized this handsome man she shared her childhood with was a much different person; much bigger and…mysterious. Her gaze flew away from his at the pulse in her throat quickened steadily.

Syaoran's smile was rueful as he noticed the hidden confusion swimming in Eriol's eyes. "A friend mentioned you to me once that you practically saved his daughter. I admire you, Mr. Hiiragizawa."

Now, his navy blue eyes softened a little. He bowed at Syaoran's words and let his lips curve a little. "You're different than I expected you to be, Mr. Li."

"Syaoran," he interrupted. "And I'll take that as a compliment."

"Eriol, and yes."

He nodded.

Sheifa cleared her throat.

Syaoran blinked and realized he'd forgotten they were all there. Just those few minutes talking to someone of the same sex helped a lot. He'd been surrounded by women for far too long and he couldn't stand it. Not when the only woman dominating his mind was hundreds of miles away and literally out of his reach. Syaoran's jaws hardened at the remembrance of Sakura. No, he couldn't deal with that now. Here was business and he intended to deal with that. Syaoran sighed and raked a hand over his wild hair.

"All right, let's deal with this." He gestured with his hand for everyone to take a seat in the seating room.

> > >

The heat was getting to her, but Sakura bit her tongue and continued frying the different dishes. Fried chickens twirled by the fire as hotdogs and burgers were grilled. The sizzling hot rice was being fried with vegetables and cut up scrambled eggs. There were a lot of people that Saturday, and though it was her choice to come and work, she didn't like it. Her hair felt greasy and her clothes smelled like oil and food. Even her skin felt clammy and disgusting. She sighed. This was better than staying at home, sulking one moment and raging fire the next. No. Here, she couldn't think of him. Here, she could focus on food and other people and not wonder why she still…cared.

So what the hell was she doing thinking of him now? Disgusted with herself, Sakura viciously turned over the burgers and backed a step away from the heat. Grabbing an empty glass from the counter, she filled it with ice cold water from the faucet and swallowed it in one gulp. Using the towel Nozomi had hooked by the wall, she wiped her face dry and sat on a bar stool. Why couldn't she just stop thinking of him? Bitter tears stung the backs of her eyes, but she wouldn't allow them to come. She'd wasted too many tears on a man who didn't deserve it. Why did she even bother letting him in for the second time after being hurt once already? Was she that stupid? Who fell for the same man twice? Who?

Did he even say that he loved her? Was that it?

No… he had never said it. Six years ago, sure. A dozen times, and he meant it. But he'd never said those damnable three words that meant so much in a woman's heart. Sakura's heart constricted. Well…at least she knew now, didn't she? At least she knew he never returned her feelings. Didn't he say he just wanted to see if there was something there…worth continuing? Maybe there really was nothing there. A little fling. Now, she'd made herself feel even worse. A fling? It couldn't be. She was much too…too dignified for that. And she knew there were times when she'd seen something more than desire in those amber eyes. Something darker and more intense.

Why was she doing this? Why hurt yourself more? Sakura allowed the feelings to wash over her wounds one last time. Determined, she stood up and washed her face at the sink. She took her time, scrubbing the grease out of that soft, white skin. That was the last time she'd think of him. After she was convinced the traces of oil and a few other things was gone, Sakura went back to the grill and put the cooked burgers and hot dogs on the prepared buns. With a quick glance, she noted that the chicken was almost done.

> > >

"Why must we keep arguing about this?" Sonomi interrupted with a curt tone. Her usually indigo eyes were like hot ice when they pierced Syaoran's own cold eyes. "Your mother and I agreed to have this arranged marriage. Just because she passed away does not mean the agreement won't be settled and dealt with. Now, I'll say this one last time. You are to be married exactly two weeks from now as the signed contracts say."

"It doesn't matter if the contracts have my parents' signatures or their spit," he bit out, "because as far as I know, the choice ultimately goes to those getting married. If we are satisfied with who we marry, we continue with the marriage, but if we are not, then we have the right to break the agreement."

"Syaoran," Feimei started, grabbing his arm. "Wait a second-"

"You very well know that's no longer how it works. That option was given two years ago before your mother died, and we discussed it. I came alone, for Tomoyo was busy with her studies, and I met your mother. Do you remember that day, Syaoran?" She narrowed her eyes shrewdly. "You yourself said you accepted Tomoyo as a bride."

He cursed under his breath. He remembered that day. It was the worst day of his life when he was cleaning the attic and saw a box of Sakura's things in it. He'd kept it and brought it to Hong Kong with him. He only agreed to spite her. And he thought he was smart. Syaoran roughly wiped his hand over his face and felt the exhaustion wearing down on him. All right, so Sonomi had a point. He'd said he would accept Tomoyo, but it was a mistake. The most foolish mistake he'd ever made. But there was another way.

And it had to work or else. Syaoran swallowed and met everyone's waiting gaze. "Didn't you sign, also, that if Tomoyo and I found other people to marry, we'll get out of this arrangement?"

Tomoyo's eyes brightened as she leapt up. "Yes, I read it in the contract."

Sonomi sighed and touched her throbbing temple. "So what?" She interrupted, forgetting the headache coming on strong and abruptly stood up. "I signed it, yes, but did you forget then that you both have to marry someone within a week of proposing the idea? And that you have to be in love? Truly in love? No charades. This is a marriage that must continue for how many years I say to be before being allowed of divorce and such."

Syaoran touched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes. Dammit, he was in love! The question was if she still was. And how would she react if he brought this down on her again? Marry me so I can get out of the stupid arranged marriage! Syaoran swallowed. He opened his eyes and caught Tomoyo looking far more devastated than he expected. Realization dawned on him. With a sinking feeling, Syaoran looked away, letting his thoughts connect. Even if he were to get Sakura to marry him within the week, an impossible feat; Tomoyo wasn't in love with anyone. She…had no one.

"Goddamnit, Sonomi! Have a heart!" Syaoran growled and stood, pacing back and forth. Tomoyo flinched.

"Even if I wanted to, Li," her voice was cold. Her daughter shivered at the sound of it. "I can't break it. The contracts have been signed decades before and I can't simply tear them apart," her jaws tightened. "So what are we going to do about this?"

Syaoran looked at his sisters for help and saw their gazes withering away from him. Frustrated, he turned to Tomoyo. "What do you think?"

Her eyes widened as they fled from her mother to Syaoran. "I…I don't know." Eriol tightened his hold on her shoulder. She trembled. "Please…I-I don't want to decide."

Syaoran blinked at the fragility she'd shown. Feeling incredibly guilty, he shook his head. "No, sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I just…I don't know what to do either."

"You will marry each other in two weeks." The gasps around the room echoed at the finality of her tone.

Syaoran stared at her with vindictiveness, but knew with fearful desperation that he couldn't do anything about it.

Dammit.

> > >

To be continued…